The Sketch Show Quotes

The Sketch Show is a television program that debuted in 2001 on ITV (TV network). The Sketch Show ended in 2004.

Each episode of The Sketch Show is 23 minutes long.

The Sketch Show Quotes

• (Unnamed) "Hello. Can I have a can of lemonade, please?"
• (Unnamed) "Over there in the fridge. Help yourself."
• (Unnamed) "And a cup of tea, please."
• (Unnamed) "Teabags over there, cup's there, water there, milk there."
• (Unnamed) "And a slice of cake?"
• (Unnamed) "Eggs in the fridge, flour and sugar in the cupboard."
• (Unnamed) "And a ham sandwich, please."
• (Unnamed) "Pig out back, bolt gun behind door."
• (Unnamed) "I want to see the manager."
• (Unnamed) "Office there, door there."
• (Unnamed) "Are you the manager?"
• (Unnamed) "Badge there, title there."
• (Unnamed) "Counter there, rudeness there."
• (Unnamed) "P45 there, Exit there"
• (Unnamed) "Too late. Envelope here, resignation there."

• (Unnamed) "I said quilt, not kilt."

• (Unnamed) "All right, I'll stick a pin on this map and wherever it lands, that's where we'll go."
• (Unnamed) "Siberia."
• (Unnamed) "Too cold."
• (Unnamed) "Sahara Desert."
• (Unnamed) "Okay new rule, it's got to be somewhere that can sustain human life."
• (Unnamed) "The Indian Ocean."
• (Unnamed) "Okay, it's got to be a place where we can stand on."
• (Unnamed) "Canada."
• (Unnamed) "We've been there."
• (Unnamed) "China."
• (Unnamed) "No beaches."
• (Unnamed) "Portugal"
• (Unnamed) "Don't fancy it."
• (Unnamed) "France."
• (Unnamed) "Too predictable. Can I be honest? I want to go to Hawaii."

• (Unnamed) "Well, I've just gotten your test results back."
• (Unnamed) "And?"
• (Unnamed) "You'll be happy to know it's just Benign."
• (Unnamed) "Thank God."
• (Unnamed) "That's good news isn't it, Mr. Ignant?"
• (Unnamed) "I'm not Mr. Ignant, I'm Mr. Ign. Mr. Ben Ign."
• (Unnamed) "Then who's this Mal Ignant?"

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