The Simpsons Movie Quotes

The Simpsons Movie is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . The Simpsons Movie completed its run in 1970.

It features James L. Brooks; Matt Groening; Al Jean; Mike Scully; Richard Sakai as producer, and Hans Zimmer in charge of musical score.

The Simpsons Movie is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Simpsons Movie is 87 minutes long. The Simpsons Movie is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The Simpsons Movie Quotes

(Helen Lovejoy) "Okay, let's discuss "Tuesdays with Morrie.""
(Cookie Kwan) "Again? If we don't get a new book, I'm gonna puke."
(Lindsey Naegle) "You're the five people I'm going to meet in hell."

(Marge Simpson) "I hate being late."
(Homer Simpson) "Well I hate going. Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way, by praying like hell on my death bed."
(Marge Simpson) "Homer, they can hear you inside."
(Homer Simpson) "Relax. Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phoney-baloney God."
(Homer Simpson) "How ya doin'? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus."

(Marge Simpson) "Wait. There's something I have to get."
(Homer Simpson) "What'd you get?"
(Marge Simpson) "Our wedding video."
(Homer Simpson) "We have a wedding video?"

(Bart Simpson) "I think fishing might be more fun with you."

(Bart Simpson) "I'm troubled."

(Bart Simpson) "Jabbity, jabbity, jab, jab, jab."

(Lisa Simpson) "I never thought my life would have an absolutely perfect moment, but this --"
(Bart Simpson) "Lisa's got a boyfriend / That she'll never see again."

(Homer Simpson) "Must keep going. Must keep going. No I can't. Yes, you can. No I can't. Yes you can. Oh, shut up. You shut up. No, you. No, you. Oh, real mature. Oh, what's the point?"

(Bart Simpson) "You don't know what rough is, sister."

(Homer Simpson) "Maybe we should kiss, just to break the tension."

(Marge Simpson) "Homer, please get rid of that pig."
(Homer Simpson) "Oh you're gonna love him. Look he does an impression of you."
(Homer Simpson) "Nailed her."
(Homer Simpson) "He also does me"
(Homer Simpson) "."
(Homer Simpson) "You smiled. I'm off the hook."

(Unnamed) "Watch 'Are You Smarter Than a Celebrity?' on FOX. That's right, we even advertise our shows during movies now."

(Tom Hanks) "Hello, I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility so it's borrowing some of mine."

(Carl) "If someone distracts Cargill, the rest of us can climb up that thing."
(Lenny) "But who would be dumb enough to stay here while we escape with our lives?"
(Cletus) "Ahem -- My time to shine."

(Homer Simpson) "Now Homer Simpson's gonna show he has cajones."

(Homer Simpson) "I dunno what to tell you, Marge. I don't think about things. I respect people who do, but -- I just try to make the days not hurt until I get to crawl in next you again."

(Lisa Simpson) "What are you doing, Bart?"
(Bart Simpson) "Eh, just passing the time."
(Homer Simpson) "Aw, my boy loves Alaska so much, he's applauding it. Lisa, why aren't you clapping?"
(Lisa Simpson) "But Dad."
(Homer Simpson) "Clap for Alaska."

(Bart Simpson) "Why are you helping me? I'm not your kid."

(Marge Simpson) "Mmmm, best kiss of my life."
(Homer Simpson) "Best kiss of your life, so far."

(Kent Brockman) "Now, Channel 6 does not endorse vigilante violence. Unless it gets results -- which it will."
(Unnamed) "GET HIM."

(Homer Simpson) "All right, boy. Time for the ultimate dare. I dare you to skateboard to Krusty Burger -- and back -- naked."
(Bart Simpson) "How naked?"
(Homer Simpson) "Fourth base."
(Bart Simpson) "But girls might see my doodle."
(Homer Simpson) "Oh, I see. Then I hereby declare you "chicken for life". Every morning you'll wake up to "Good morning chicken." At your wedding, I'll sing --"
(Homer Simpson) "Buck-buck-bu-buck."

(Ralph Wiggum) "I like men now."

(Billie Joe Armstrong) "Alright, well thanks a lot for coming. We've been playing for three and a half hours, now we'd like just a minute of your time to say something about the environment."
(Barney Gumble) "Preachy."
(Billie Joe Armstrong) "We're not being preachy."
(Tre Cool) "But the pollution in your lake; it's dissolving our barge."
(Lisa Simpson) "I thought they touched on a vital issue."
(Moe) "I beg to differ."
(Tre Cool) "Oh."
(Mike Dirnt) "Gentlemen, it's been an honour playing with you tonight."

(Marge Simpson) "Honey, that's great. But the very best thing is that he listens to you. Because nothing means more than for a man to --"
(Marge Simpson) "How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?"
(Homer Simpson) "Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. / Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. / Can he swing / from a web? / No he can't, / He's a pig. / Look out. / He is the Spider-Pig."

(Homer Simpson) "I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny."

(Bart Simpson) "Oh my God."

(Russ Cargill) "Anyone can pick something when they know what it is; It takes real leadership to pick something you're clueless about."
(President Schwarzenegger) "Ok, I pick 3."
(Russ Cargill) "Try again."
(President Schwarzenegger) "1."
(Russ Cargill) "Go higher."
(President Schwarzenegger) "5?"
(Russ Cargill) "Too high."
(President Schwarzenegger) "3?"
(Russ Cargill) "You already said 3."
(President Schwarzenegger) "6?"
(Russ Cargill) "There is no 6."
(President Schwarzenegger) "2?"
(Russ Cargill) "Double it."
(President Schwarzenegger) "4."
(Russ Cargill) "As you wish, sir."

(Homer Simpson) "This book doesn't have any answers."

(Girl on Phone) "You hang up first."
(Boy on Phone) "No, you hang up first."
(Girl on Phone) "Okay."
(Boy on Phone) "What the-? She hung up on me."

(Todd Flanders) "I wish Homer was my father."
(Ned Flanders) "-- and I wish you didn't have the devil's curly hair."

(Bart Simpson) "Did you at least bring my clothes?"
(Homer Simpson) "Shirt, socks, everything you need."
(Bart Simpson) "You didn't bring my pants."
(Homer Simpson) "Who am I, Tommy Bahama?"
(Bart Simpson) "Oh, this is the worst day of my life."
(Homer Simpson) "The worst day of your life so far."

(Homer Simpson) "Thank you, boob lady."

(Russ Cargill) "Springfield has become --"
(Man) "Woooo. Springfield."
(Russ Cargill) "-- the most polluted city in the history of the planet."
(Krusty the Clown) "Drama queen."

(Marge Simpson) "Ugh -- it's leaking."
(Homer Simpson) "It's not leaking, it's overflowing."
(Marge Simpson) "He filled up the whole silo in two days?"
(Homer Simpson) "Well I helped."

(Ned Flanders) "Ok, boys, when you meet Jesus, be sure to call Him Mr. Christ."
(Todd Flanders) "Will Buddha be there?"
(Ned Flanders) "No."

(Bart Simpson) "I promise, I'll stop tomorrow."

(Homer Simpson) "I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free. If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker. Especially you."

(Bart Simpson) "Whoa, mama."

(Homer Simpson) "Screw Springfield."
(Marge Simpson) "I can't believe you'd say something so selfish."
(Homer Simpson) "Marge, those people chased us with pitchforks and torches. TORCHES. At four in the afternoon."
(Marge Simpson) "It was 7 at night."
(Homer Simpson) "It was during Access Hollywood."
(Marge Simpson) "Which is on at 4 and 7."
(Homer Simpson) "D'oh."

(Grampa) "Homer? What are you doing now?"
(Homer Simpson) "Risking my life to save people I hate for reasons I don't quite understand. Gotta go."

(Russ Cargill) "My name is Russ Cargill and I'm the head of the EPA."
(Moe) "The what?"
(Russ Cargill) "Environmental Protection Agency."
(Lenny) "Come again?"
(Russ Cargill) "Look, I'm a man on a big TV. Just listen."

(Marge Simpson) "Homer, it was you. You single-handedly killed the entire town."
(Homer Simpson) "I know, it's weird."

(Marge Simpson) "He filled up the whole silo in just two days?"
(Homer Simpson) "Well, I helped."

(Homer Simpson) "D'OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHME."

(Homer Simpson) "Aw, you're gonna love him. Look, he does an impression of you."
(Homer Simpson) "You nailed her. He also does me."
(Homer Simpson) "You smiled. I'm off the hook."

(Kent Brockman) "Kent Brockman here reporting on a crisis so serious it has its own name and theme music."
(Kent Brockman) "The dome has put an end to life as we know it. The town is running low on supplies of everything from gasoline to Botox."
(Kent Brockman) "Moment, please."
(Kent Brockman) "And, as always, we end our broadcast with news on the lighter side. It's the time of year when the swallows return to Springfield."

(Krusty the Clown) "If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico."

(Homer Simpson) "Uh, what's that ominous glow in the distance?"
(Angry Mob) "Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill --"
(Homer Simpson) "Marge, look. Those idiots don't even know where we live."
(Angry Mob) "Kill, kill, kill, kill --"
(Homer Simpson) "D'oh."

(Homer Simpson) "Ooh, floor popcorn."

(Marge Simpson) "Why are you dressed like that?"
(Moe) "Well, I don't like to brag, but I am now the Emperor of Springfield."
(Barney Gumble) "No, you're not."
(Moe) "Yes, I am."
(Barney Gumble) "Okay. Hail Emperor."

(Milhouse) "Hey, I am very passionate about the planet."
(Nelson) "Say global warming is a myth."
(Milhouse) "It's a myth. Further study is needed."
(Nelson) "That's for selling out your beliefs."

(Squeaky-Voiced Teen) "Assistant Manager isn't all it's cracked up to be. Four years of film school for this?"

(Ned Flanders) "Well, this certainly seems odd, but, heh, who am I to question the work of the Almighty? Oh, we thank you Lord for this mighty fine intelligent design. Good job."

(Lisa Simpson) "But I'm so angry."
(Marge Simpson) "You're a woman. You can hold on to it forever."

(Montgomery Burns) "Well, for once, the rich white man is in control."

(Bart Simpson) "Boy, you made it. But how?"
(Santa's Little Helper) "I did things no dog should. They will haunt me forever."
(Bart Simpson) "I love you too."

(Homer Simpson) "The word "apology" is tossed around a lot these days, but when it comes from in here --"
(Homer Simpson) "D'OH."

(Marge Simpson) "EPA. It's all come true."
(Grampa) "That crazy old man in church was right."

(Homer Simpson) "Marge, in every marriage you get one chance to say, "I need you to do this with me.""
(Homer Simpson) "And there's only one answer when somebody says that."

(Robot) "Red wire, blue wire, black is usually the ground --"
(Robot) "-- ahhh, so much pressure -- PRESSURE."
(Chief Wiggum) "He was talking about it, but I never took him seriously."

(Medicine Woman) "Homer Simpson. do you know why you are here?"
(Homer Simpson) "because my family cares more about other people then they do about me."
(Medicine Woman) "drink this liquid."
(Homer Simpson) "AHHHhHHHHHHHH more please."
(Medicine Woman) "now we will cleanse you spirit my the ancient Inuit art of throat singing."
(Homer Simpson) "throat singing?"
(Medicine Woman) "AAAA OOO OOO OOO AAAA"
(Homer Simpson) "hoooo ahhh hoo ah hoo ah"
(Homer Simpson) "how long we doing this?"
(Medicine Woman) "until you. have an epiphany."
(Homer Simpson) "ok?"
(Medicine Woman) "OOOOOOOHHHH OOOHHH OOHHH"
(Homer Simpson) "whats an epiphany?"
(Medicine Woman) "sudden realizing, of great truth."
(Homer Simpson) "ok."

(Homer Simpson) "We have a great life here in Alaska, and we're never going back to America again."

(Moe) "The top of his head is still showing. Claw at it."

(Moe) "What are you telling us, were trapped like rats?"
(Russ Cargill) "No, rats can't be trapped this easily, you're trapped like -- carrots."

(Lisa Simpson) "Colin. Colin."
(Milhouse) "Lisa, Colin is dead."
(Milhouse) "His last words were, "Milhouse, take care of Lisa. Hold her hand.""
(Milhouse) "Uh, I got her all warmed up for ya."

(Barney Gumble) "Honey, I'm home."

(Toll Booth Man) "Welcome to Alaska. Here's a thousand dollars."
(Homer Simpson) "Well, it's about time. But why?"
(Toll Booth Man) "We pay every resident a thousand dollars to allow the oil companies to ravage our state's natural beauty."
(Homer Simpson) "I'm home."

(Bart Simpson) "Lisa's got a boyfriend that she'll never see again."

(Homer Simpson) "Marge."
(Homer Simpson) "It's the epiphitree. I tried my best, what am I supposed to do?"
(Homer Simpson) "But how am I supposed to get there?"
(Homer Simpson) "Oh."
(Homer Simpson) "Here, buy yourself something nice."

(Agnes Skinner) "Don't look where I'm pointing."

(Comic Book Guy) "I've spent my entire life doing nothing but collecting comic books -- and now there's only time to say -- LIFE WELL SPENT."

(Homer Simpson) "He's not Spider-Pig anymore, he's Harry Plopper."

(Mayor Quimby) "To make sure this wall is completely idiot-proof -- Cletus."
(Cletus) "Yes'um?"
(Mayor Quimby) "Try to dump something in the lake."
(Cletus) "Okay."
(Cletus) "I can't. I; I simply can't."

(Marge Simpson) "Homer, in every marriage you get one chance to say, "I need you to do this with me.""
(Homer Simpson) "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

(Grampa) "That crazy old man in church was right."

(Martin) "I've been taking your crap all my life."
(Kearney) "Uggghh."
(Martin) "Whoo. This feels good. No wonder you do it."

(Homer Simpson) "Homer do good?"
(Bart Simpson) "Actually, you've doomed us all. Again."

(Homer Simpson) "Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married to someone who's recklessly impulsive?"
(Marge Simpson) "Actually, it's aged me horribly."

(Marge Simpson) "Bart, are you drinking whiskey?"
(Bart Simpson) "I'm troubled."

(Bart Simpson) "Geronimo."

(Bart Simpson) "I'm the mascot of an evil corporation."

(Russ Cargill) "I was tricked by an idiot."
(Cletus) "Hey, I know how you feel; I was beat in tic-tac-toe by a chicken."

(Bart Simpson) "I will not illegally download this movie."

(Bart Simpson) "Lisa's got a boyfriend, that she'll never see again."

(Homer Simpson) "No, Plopper. If you push that, daddy will die."
(Pig) "Oink."

(Tom Hanks) "Are you tired of the same old Grand Canyon?"
(TV Dad) "Here we are kids. The Grand Canyon."
(TV Daughter) "Oh, it's so old and boring. I want a new one, now."
(Tom Hanks) "Hello. I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility, so it's borrowing some of mine."
(TV Son) "Tussle my hair, Mr. Hanks."
(Tom Hanks) "Sure thing, son."
(Tom Hanks) "Now, I'm pleased to tell you about the new Grand Canyon."
(Tom Hanks) "Coming this weekend. It's east of Shelbyville and south of Capital City."
(Marge Simpson) "That's where Springfield is."
(Tom Hanks) "It's nowhere near where anything is or ever was. This is Tom Hanks saying, if you're gonna pick a government to trust, why not this one?"

(Ned Flanders) "Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful --"
(Ned Flanders) "PENIS."
(Todd Flanders) "-- bountiful penis."
(Todd Flanders) "Amen."

(Homer Simpson) "Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run."
(Homer Simpson) "Jump. Jump."
(Homer Simpson) "Land. Land."
(Homer Simpson) "Rest. Rest."
(Homer Simpson) "Run. Run."
(Homer Simpson) "Okay, I know we've had a rough day, but I'm sure we can put that all behind us and --"
(Homer Simpson) "AGH. Not my whipping arm."
(Homer Simpson) "Why does everything I whip leave me?"

(Bart Simpson) "You know, we are on the roof. We could have some fun."
(Homer Simpson) "What kind of fun?"
(Bart Simpson) "How bout a dare contest?"
(Homer Simpson) "That sounds fun. I dare you to -- climb the T.V. antennae."
(Bart Simpson) "Piece of cake."
(Homer Simpson) "Earthquake."
(Homer Simpson) "Aftershock."
(Ned Flanders) "Uh, Homer, I don't mean to be a nervis-pervis or anything, but if he falls, couldn't that make your boy a parapleg-a-rino?"
(Homer Simpson) "Shut up, Flanders."
(Bart Simpson) "Yeah, shut up, Flanders."
(Homer Simpson) "Well said, boy."

(Bart Simpson) "Did you hear something?"
(Lisa Simpson) "Probably just a moth."
(Marge Simpson) "I hope it's okay."

(Homer Simpson) "Okay, son. You have only one chance to throw that bomb through the hole."
(Bart Simpson) "Dad, in case I don't make it, I'm sorry I said I wish you weren't my dad."
(Homer Simpson) "I don't blame you, son. I've never been that good of a father. Maybe it all starts with the way my father raised me. Yes, it's all clear to me. It's all just been one long, unbroken chain of --"
(Marge Simpson) "Somebody throw the god**** bomb."

(EPA Passenger) "Look, we can't keep stopping at every "sop", "yeld", or "one vay" sign."

(NSA Worker) "Hey everybody, I found one. The government actually found someone we're looking for. YEAH, BABY, YEAH."

(Bart Simpson) "Come on, dad, let's go. I've been holding it since they put the dome on the town."

(Homer Simpson) "Well, Marge, we're separated from the kids by a wall of snow. All of our dreams are coming true."

(Homer Simpson) "Hey, what's with you?"
(Bart Simpson) "You really wanna know?"
(Homer Simpson) "Of course I do. What kind of father wouldn't care about"
(Homer Simpson) "a pig wearing a hat."
(Unnamed) "Action."
(Krusty the Clown) "Hey hey. It's your old pal Krusty for my new pork sandwich, the clogger. If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico."
(Krusty the Clown) "Mmm."
(Unnamed) "And -- we're clear."
(Krusty the Clown) "Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig."
(Homer Simpson) "What? You can't kill him if he's wearing people clothes."
(Homer Simpson) "You're coming home with me."

(Marge Simpson) "Despite everything, I miss your father."
(Bart Simpson) "Me too -- his big fat ass could shield us all."

(Panicky Man) "Oh, what do I do? I don't know what to do. 'Cause if I stay I'm trapped. If I leave I'm alone. Oh God. In. Out. In. Out. I never saw Venice."

(Montgomery Burns) "Smithers -- I don't believe in suicide, but if you'd like to try it, it might cheer me up to watch."

(Bart Simpson) "Dad."
(Homer Simpson) "What seems to be the problem, officers?"
(Bart Simpson) "Tell them you dared me to do it."
(Chief Wiggum) "If that's true, then you should be taking the rap here, not your son."
(Homer Simpson) "And what happens to me if it's my fault?"
(Chief Wiggum) "You'll have to attend a one hour parenting class."
(Homer Simpson) "It was all his idea. He's out of control I tell ya. Oh, I'm at my wit's end."

(Homer Simpson) "That could be anybody's Pig Crap silo."

(Bart Simpson) "Huh? You're not strangling me."

(Bart Simpson) "What do you want, Flanders?"

(Lisa Simpson) "Our crisis level will be here."
(Lenny) "That's not so bad."
(Lisa Simpson) "No, this forklift is messed up."
(Lisa Simpson) "Am I getting through to anyone?"
(Krusty the Clown) "Hell yeah, we need a new one of those things."

(Bart Simpson) "Look what I did to your picture."
(Homer Simpson) "AHHH."
(Bart Simpson) "Howdily-doodily. Howdily-doodily. Howdily-doodily."
(Homer Simpson) "Why you little --."
(Homer Simpson) "I'll strangle-angle you."

(Colin) "I'm Colin."
(Lisa Simpson) "I haven't seen you at school"
(Colin) "Just moved from Ireland. My dad's a musician."
(Lisa Simpson) "Is he?"
(Colin) "He's not Bono."
(Lisa Simpson) "I just thought because you're Irish and you care about --"
(Colin) "He's NOT Bono."

(Ralph Wiggum) "Take that."
(Ralph Wiggum) "Oh, no. Blow back."

(Bart Simpson) "No way, cocoa's for wusses."

(Russ Cargill) "Your government has realized that sealing you under this dome was a terrible mistake. Therefore, we are commencing with Operation Soaring Eagle"
(Russ Cargill) "-- which involves killing you all."

(Bart Simpson) "Up here."

(Homer Simpson) "Stay back, I've got a chain saw."

(Russ Cargill) "I want ten thousand tough guys, and I want ten thousand soft guys to make the tough guys look tougher."

(Ned Flanders) "Bart. Crawl across. Hurry."
(Bart Simpson) "But if they see you helping us, they'll kill you."
(Ned Flanders) "I'm sure your father would do the same for --"
(Ned Flanders) "Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles."

(Bart Simpson) "Dad, it's not fair to use a bug-zapper to catch the fish."

(Homer Simpson) "I'll let you hold the bomb --"
(Bart Simpson) "The man knows me."

(Bart Simpson) "Mom?"
(Marge Simpson) "Yes honey?"
(Bart Simpson) "You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertilizer salesman."
(Homer Simpson) "You'll pay for ruining the golden family moment."
(Marge Simpson) "Homer."
(Bart Simpson) "How are we supposed to get to Alaska without any money?"
(Homer Simpson) "Alright, son. If you don't believe me, believe in America."

(Homer Simpson) "I've always been afraid I'd screw up our lives so bad that I've had to come up with a back-up plan. And that plan is right here."
(Homer Simpson) "No."
(Homer Simpson) "No."
(Homer Simpson) "Bingo."
(Homer Simpson) "Bear with me."
(Lisa Simpson) "Alaska?"
(Homer Simpson) "Alaska. Where you can't be too fat or too drunk. When no one says things like "Let's see your high school equivalency certificate.""

(Montgomery Burns) "So, you want some of my electricity, do you? Well, for once, the rich, white man is in control. I have two buttons behind my desk. One will provide your town with power, the other releases the hounds. Reach me. Make me your brother."
(Dr. Hibbert) "The hospital's generator is about to give out. Lives will be lost."
(Montgomery Burns) "Lives -- lost. Go on."
(Chief Wiggum) "We have a convict we're gonna fry tomorrow, but now we can't."
(Montgomery Burns) "Tempting, tempting --"
(Apu) "Look, all of our reasons mean nothing. Just look inside your heart and you will find the answer."
(Apu) "Aaah."
(Montgomery Burns) "First door on the right."
(Apu) "Thank you."
(Apu) "Aaah."

(Marge Simpson) "Okay, here it goes. Homer, I've always stood up for you. When people point out your flaws, I always say, "Well, sometimes you have to stand back to appreciate a work of art.""
(Homer Simpson) "Way back."
(Marge Simpson) "Lately, what's keeping us together is my ability to overlook everything you do. And I overlook these things because --"
(Homer Simpson) "Because?"
(Marge Simpson) "Well, that's the thing. I just don't know how to finish that sentence anymore. So I'm leaving with the kids to help Springfield, and we're never coming back. And to prove to myself that this is the end -- I taped this over our wedding video. Good-bye, Homie."

(Lisa Simpson) "Mom, I've got to go find Colin."
(Marge Simpson) "Not now, sweetie. Doomsday is family time."

(Chief Wiggum) "They're China's problem now."

(Chief Wiggum) "Uh sorry, sorry, no dumping in the lake."
(Fat Tony) "Fine, I will put my yard trimmings in a car compactor."
(Lou) "Uh, Chief, I think there was a dead body in there."
(Chief Wiggum) "I thought that too, until he said yard trimmings. You gotta learn to listen, Lou."

(EPA Official) "S-sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power --"
(Russ Cargill) "Of course I have. You ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. No one listens to you."

(Cletus) "You want to know how I do it?"
(Russ Cargill) "Four generations of inbreeding?"
(Cletus) "Oh, you."

(Homer Simpson) "So, who wants waffles?"
(Lisa Simpson) "I do. I do. I do."
(Marge Simpson) "What about Grampa?"
(Bart Simpson) "I want syrup."
(Lisa Simpson) "I want strawberries."
(Marge Simpson) "Shouldn't we be concerned about what happened in church?"
(Homer Simpson) "I'll tell you what happened. A certain someone had a senior moment, but that's okay, because we love him anyway, and we got a free rug out of it."
(Marge Simpson) "What's the point of going to church every Sunday if when someone we love has a genuine religious experience we ignore it? Right, Grampa?"
(Grampa) "I want bananas on my waffles."
(Homer Simpson) "I rest my case."

(Chief Wiggum) "Stop, in the name of American squeamishness."

(Lisa Simpson) "Hello, sorry to bother you on a Sunday, but I'm sure you're as worried about the pollution in Lake Springfield as I am --"
(Lisa Simpson) "Lake Springfield has higher levels of mercury than even --"
(Sweet Old Lady) "Why, it's the little girl who saved my cat."
(Lisa Simpson) "Lake Springfield --"
(Lisa Simpson) "Oh."

(Grampa) "Twisted Tail -- A thousand eyes -- Trapped forever."

(Marge Simpson) ""Eepa." What does that mean?"
(Comic Book Guy) "I believe it's the sound the Green Lantern made when Sinestro threw him into a vat of acid. "Eee-pa.""
(Marge Simpson) "Yeah. Thanks for coming over."
(Comic Book Guy) "Thanks for giving me your pregnancy pants; I've never known comfort like this."

(Tom Hanks) "This is Tom Hanks saying if you see me in person, please, leave me be."

(Skull) "Evil."

(Mike Dirnt) "Gentlemen, it's been an honor playing with you tonight."

(Scratchy) "We come in peace for cats and mice everywhere."

(Bart Simpson) "Jab him-jab him-jab-jab-jab."
(Male EPA Worker) "Hey. Jab one more eye and it's a federal crime."

(Homer Simpson) "D'oh."

(Russ Cargill) "President Schawarzenegger."
(President Schwarzenegger) "Ja. That is me."
(Russ Cargill) "The pollution in Springfield has reached crisis levels."
(President Schwarzenegger) "Ach. Everything is "crisis this" and "end-of-the-world that". No one opens with a joke. I miss Danny DeVito."
(Russ Cargill) "You like jokes, huh? Well, stop me if you've heard this one."
(President Schwarzenegger) "Look at all those angry eyes and pointy teeth. It's like Christmas at the Kennedy Compound."
(Russ Cargill) "Mr. President, you chose me, Russ Cargill, most successful man in America, to head the EPA, the least successful government agency. Why did I take the job? Because I'm just a rich guy who wants to kick some ass for good old Mother Earth. I want to give something back. Not the money, but something. That's why I've narrowed your choices down to five unthinkable options."
(Russ Cargill) "Each one will cause untold misery and --"
(President Schwarzenegger) "I pick Number Three."
(Russ Cargill) "Really? You don't want to read them first?"
(President Schwarzenegger) "I was elected to lead, not to read. Number Three."

(Dr. Nick) "Bye, everybody."

(Bart Simpson) "I miss Flanders. There, I said it."

(Homer Simpson) "That was the most incredible experience of my life. And now, to find my family, save my town, and drop ten pounds."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.

Your email:
New quote (or change to quote):

Additional Film and TV Quotes

The Simpsons Movie Quotes