The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming Quotes

The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming ended its run in 1970.

It features Norman Jewison as producer, Johnny Mandel in charge of musical score, and Joseph F. Biroc as head of cinematography.

The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming is 126 minutes long. The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming is distributed by United Artists.

The cast includes: Sheldon Collins as Pete Whittaker, Carl Reiner as Walt Whittaker, Eva Marie Saint as Elspeth Whittaker, John Phillip Law as Alexei Kolchin, Ben Blue as Luther Grilk, Brian Keith as Police Chief Link Mattocks, Andrea Dromm as Alison Palmer, Jonathan Winters as Officer Norman Jones, Theodore Bikel as The Russian Captain, and Paul Ford as Fendall Hawkins.

The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming Quotes

Theodore Bikel as The Russian Captain

• (Unnamed) "What is it Captain? What are you doing?"
• (Unnamed) "Show me our position."
• (Unnamed) "What? WHAT? Tovarich Captain --"
• (Theodore Bikel) "Take it easy."
• (Unnamed) "Permit me, Captain. Look at our position."
• (Theodore Bikel) "I don't need your advice."
• (Unnamed) "But this is dangerous. The chart is old. We do not know these waters."
• (Russian sailor) "Comrade Captain, our depth is at 28 fathoms."
• (Unnamed) "Tovarich Captain --"
• (Theodore Bikel) "Rozanov, shut up. You are a fool."
• (Unnamed) "What? But we're at twenty-eight."
• (Theodore Bikel) "Leave the tower or I'll place you under arrest."
• (Russian sailor) "23 fathoms."
• (Unnamed) "Don't you hear it?"
• (Theodore Bikel) "Rozanov, I gave you an order."
• (Russian sailor) "Sixteen fathoms."
• (Unnamed) "Surface. Stop engines."
• (Theodore Bikel) "How dare you."
• (Russian sailor) "Twelve fathoms."
• (Theodore Bikel) "Down periscope. Full speed astern."
• (Russian sailor) "Eight -- seven -- six -- five --"

• (Theodore Bikel) "Comrade, won't you come aboard? Where is everybody?"
• (Unnamed) "Tovarich Captain, didn't Lysenko reach you?"
• (Theodore Bikel) "Lysenko? No. Why do you think I'm here, huh?"
• (Unnamed) "Tovarich Captain --"
• (Theodore Bikel) "Comrade Lieutenant Rozanov, immediately deliver all the shore party aboard."
• (Unnamed) "They're not here."
• (Theodore Bikel) "Rozanov, the Americans are lying to you. Don't belive them. They are holding my sailors prisoners."
• (Unnamed) "Tovarish Captain --"
• (Theodore Bikel) "Comrade Lieutenant Rozanov, I'm giving an order to deliver all my men aboard. Otherwise, I will straighten out this island in such a manner that nobody will be able to find it. I will explode it, do you here me? I will obliterate it from the face of the Earth. I'm giving you three minutes."

• (Theodore Bikel) "Devil take it. What a mess. What a mess."

Brian Keith as Police Chief Link Mattocks

• (Unnamed) "Well, I'm sorry to bother you, Chief Mattocks, but I just had a call from Muriel Everett."
• (Brian Keith) "What is it, what's she want?"
• (Unnamed) "She was shouting that I should call you, because according to her; well, Muriel said the Russians have landed."
• (Brian Keith) "Want to give me that again, Alice?"
• (Unnamed) "Muriel said the Russians have landed, whatever that means, Chief. And she said they were attacking her personally."
• (Brian Keith) "Remember last time, when she called about that Peeping Tom; you know who that was, don't you? It was that Luther Grilk's horse."

• (Brian Keith) "All right, let's have your name and address."
• (Unnamed) "We wants our address."
• (Theodore Bikel) "Point your gun -- take aim right between their eyes."

• (Brian Keith) "Tell the Captain he's under arrest."
• (Unnamed) "But I --"
• (Brian Keith) "Tell the Captain he's under arrest."
• (Unnamed) "The policeman says you are under arrest."
• (Theodore Bikel) "Tell him that I'm going to blow this town to pieces."
• (Brian Keith) "What did he say?"
• (Unnamed) "Well, he's angry, yes. He says, "you stupid idiot," he will blow up the town."

• (Brian Keith) "I thought all the nuts went home on Labor Day."

Ben Blue as Luther Grilk

• (Ben Blue) "The Russians are coming. The Russians are coming."

Carl Reiner as Walt Whittaker

• (Unnamed) "It is necessary for you to remain in this house at most vigorously for short time only."
• (Carl Reiner) "Well, we're not going anywhere but --"
• (Unnamed) "Good. Please to remain absolutely good behaved so that this man, marksman of prize winning caliber, will not have the necessity of shooting you to small pieces."
• (Unnamed) "Watch them."
• (Unnamed) "And especially watch that little bastard too."

• (Carl Reiner) "Did your brother Fred come with you?"
• (Carl Reiner) "Hi, Fred come in. I've got him now"

• (Carl Reiner) "Look, can I give you some advice? You'll never make it down to the harbor. Why don't you all give yourselves up? Either you'll kill somebody, or you'll get killed. Either way; you could start a war."
• (Unnamed) "What is your name?"
• (Carl Reiner) "Whittaker. Walt --"
• (Unnamed) "Remark to this, Whittaker Walt. We must have boat. Even now may be too late. This is your island, I make your responsibility you help us get boat quickly, otherwise there is World War III, and everybody is blaming YOU."

Sheldon Collins as Pete Whittaker

• (Sheldon Collins) "You told them everything they wanted to know, just like Arnold Benedict."
• (Carl Reiner) "That's Benedict Arnold, not Arnold -- What are you saying, Pete? Are you saying you think your father is a TRAITOR?"
• (Sheldon Collins) "Yes I am. I bet I'm the only kid in the fourth grade whose father IS a famous trader."
• (Carl Reiner) "That's "traitor". Just stop it, Pete. You're being silly."

• (Sheldon Collins) "Don't tell them anything. He hasn't even tortured you yet."

• (Sheldon Collins) "Ask them if they're Russians."
• (Carl Reiner) "Peter, be quiet."
• (Unnamed) "Very clever little boy. Very, very clever, to see that my friend and I are foreigners here, but of course not Russian, naturally. What would the Russians be doing on United States of America island, with so many animosities and hatreds between these two countries? It is too funny an idea, is it not? No, we -- we are of course -- Norveegans."
• (Carl Reiner) "Norweigans?"
• (Unnamed) "On a small training exercise for the Nyaato countries --"
• (John Phillip Law) "NATO."
• (Unnamed) "NATO countries, of course, yes. Ah, to reach place of power motorboats it is necessary to make borrowings of automobile, for a short time only, sir."
• (Carl Reiner) "Uh -- uh -- may, may I ask you something, please?"
• (Unnamed) "Yes, of course."
• (Carl Reiner) "Are, are there nine of you out there, and are you all Russians with machine guns, and does one of you look like Uncle Ha -- I meant, look like a wrestler?"
• (Unnamed) "Unnnnnnngh -- I am sorry to, uh, comply with your statement, but misfortunately, all of the answers to these questions are -- yes."

• (Unnamed) "Always I am saying goodbye to you, and always I am meeting you again."
• (Sheldon Collins) "You'd better surrender 'cause my Dad has all the guns. So you'd just better surrender --"
• (Carl Reiner) "Pete. Be quiet."

John Phillip Law as Alexei Kolchin

• (John Phillip Law) "In Union of Soviet, when I am only young boy, many are saying, Americanski are bad people, they will attack Russia. So all mistrust American. But I think that I do not mistrust American -- not really sinceriously. I wish not to hate -- anybody."
• (John Phillip Law) "This make good reason to you, Alison Palmer?"
• (Andrea Dromm) "Well, of course it does. It doesn't make sense to hate people. It's such a waste of time."

Jonathan Winters as Officer Norman Jones

• (Russian sailor) "Maltchik, maltchik --"
• (Jonathan Winters) "Huh? Oh, yeah -- we got the kid, didn't we?"

• (Jonathan Winters) "We have -- GOT -- to get organized."

Paul Ford as Fendall Hawkins

• (Paul Ford) "I'm holding you responsible."
• (Paul Ford) "As Commander of the Civilian Forces, in this emergency. I'm charging you with treason."
• (Brian Keith) "Gimme that thing."
• (Paul Ford) "That's a Dexter F. Mettles Memorial Sword."
• (Brian Keith) "Yeah."
• (Paul Ford) "You traitorous fink."

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