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The Ritz (film) Quotes

The Ritz (film) is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . The Ritz stopped airing in 1970.

It features Denis O'Dell as producer, Ken Thorne in charge of musical score, and Paul Wilson as head of cinematography.

The Ritz (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Ritz (film) is 91 minutes long. The Ritz (film) is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Jack Weston as Gaetano Proclo, Rita Moreno as Googie Gomez, F. Murray Abraham as Chris, Treat Williams as Michael Brick, Paul B. Price as Claude Perkins, Dave King as Abe Lefkowitz, Christopher J. Brown as Duff, and Jerry Stiller as Carmine Vespucci.

The Ritz (film) Quotes

Jack Weston as Gaetano Proclo

  • (Jack Weston) "We used to have a guy like that back in the army. We called him "Get away from me Claude"."
  • (Jack Weston) "A person can catch Athlete's Foot in a place like this."
  • (Christopher J. Brown) "You're lucky if that's all you catch."
  • (Jack Weston) "Listen, there's something I have to tell you --"
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "You're not gay?"
  • (Jack Weston) "No."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "What, are you a social worker or something?"
  • (Jack Weston) "No, but I didn't know that everyone in here was --"
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "GAY. See? It's not a bad word. You might try using it sometime."
  • (Jack Weston) "You mean to tell me that everyone in here is gay?"
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "God, I hope so. Otherwise I just paid ten dollars to walk around in a towel in front of a bunch of Shriners."
  • (Unnamed) "Crisco."
  • (Jack Weston) "What?"
  • (Unnamed) "Crisco Oil Party. Room 419. Pass it on."
  • (Jack Weston) "Pass what on?"
  • (Unnamed) "Bring Joey."
  • (Jack Weston) "Who's Joey?"
  • (Unnamed) "You know Joey. Don't bring Chuck. You've got that?"
  • (Jack Weston) "Crisco Oil Party. Room 419. I can bring Joey but not Chuck."
  • (Unnamed) "Check."
  • (Jack Weston) "What's the matter with Chuck?"
  • (Jack Weston) "Chuck is definitely out."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, you won't be disappointed."
  • (Jack Weston) "You're not Joe Namath."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "It's the lighting."
  • (Jack Weston) "I don't know what I'm doing."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Join the club. It's like some strange heterosexual Gypsy curse was put on this place."
  • (Jack Weston) "My, what unusual pants. They look like cowboy chaps."
  • (Unnamed) "They are cowboy chaps."
  • (Jack Weston) "That's what I was thinking. They look like cowboy chaps."
  • (Jack Weston) "You're a good man, Abe. I'm gonna have a novena said for you when I get back to Cleveland. What's your last name? Abe what?"
  • (Dave King) "Lefkowitz."
  • (Jack Weston) "I'll still have a novena said for you when I get back."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "You know, I had a novena said for me once. I asked to wake up gorgeous."
  • (Dave King) "So, what happened?"
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Well look at me."

Rita Moreno as Googie Gomez

  • (Rita Moreno) ""Ebey'tings comin' up rho-ziz, por me and por chu.""
  • (Rita Moreno) "Think of a tropical night. Think of a beetch."
  • (Jack Weston) "What bitch?"
  • (Rita Moreno) "I know what's going on in here, with all of you men going "Hee hee hee, boo boo boo, hah hah hah."

Paul B. Price as Claude Perkins

  • (Paul B. Price) "Jelly Roll, baby. You're my Jelly Roll man."
  • (Paul B. Price) "You know Mister, you really know how to break up an act."
  • (Paul B. Price) "You'll never guess what I had for dinner tonight, so I'm just going to tell you."
  • (Jack Weston) "I beg your pardon?"
  • (Paul B. Price) "A nice ground-pork meatloaf with mozzarella, mashed potatoes covered with gobs of gravy, carrots floating in butter and chunks of avocado with roquefort dressing. Couldn't you just die?"
  • (Jack Weston) "I don't know what I could just."
  • (Paul B. Price) "And then for dessert German choclate cake with two scoops of mocha walnut ice cream."
  • (Paul B. Price) "It's good to be back, Abe. I feel strangely optimistic about this evening."
  • (Paul B. Price) "Hey. What do you need, a brick wall to fall on your head? Resting. It's a euphemism for not interested -- Skinny."

F. Murray Abraham as Chris

  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Screw you, honey. Boy, if there's one thing I can't stand it's a queen without a sense of humor. You can die with your secret -- miserable piss-elegant fairy."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "There will be an orgy beginning in room 340 in exactly minutes. Orgy in 340. Four minutes."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Margaret Dumont. I thought you were dead."
  • (Unnamed) "There's a reason people like me don't ride the subway. I'm looking right at him."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Is that supposed to mean me? Screw you, honey. You can die with your secret, piss-elegant fairy. If there's anything I can't stand, it's a queen without a sense of humor."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "As strange as it may seem, no one is going to attack you."
  • (Jack Weston) "Someone already has."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Eh, beginner's luck."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Dumb and dizzy, that's me, Darling."

Dave King as Abe Lefkowitz

  • (Dave King) "We got nightclub, movies, swimming pool, steam room, massage table, discothèque, bridge, amateur night -- and free blood tests every Wednesday."
  • (Dave King) "340 coming up. That is three-four-oh. She's here, boys."
  • (Dave King) "I thought you'd sworn off this place."
  • (Paul B. Price) "I thought I had, too."
  • (Dave King) "You got homesick for us, right?"
  • (Paul B. Price) "Well, I didn't have much choice. I've been barred from the Athenium."
  • (Dave King) "Come on. No one gets barred from the Athenium."
  • (Paul B. Price) "Well, there was this man there --"
  • (Dave King) "A fat man, right?"
  • (Paul B. Price) "Fat? He was the Magic Mountain. He threw me into one of my frenzies. I went beserk and kicked his door open, so they threw me out and told me never to come back again. I was willing to pay for it. I just wanted to talk to him. You know how I am."
  • (Unnamed) "I'd prefer something on three."
  • (Dave King) "Yeah, yeah --"
  • (Unnamed) "Did they ever put you on four? It's Siberia up there."
  • (Dave King) "People like you think the whole world is queer."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Well, it's lucky for people like you it is."

Jerry Stiller as Carmine Vespucci

  • (Jerry Stiller) "I need some kind of code name."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Evelyn."
  • (Jerry Stiller) "No. I don't like Evelyn. It sounds too effiminate."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "How about Bunny?"
  • (Jerry Stiller) "I like it."
  • (Jerry Stiller) "What's the matter with you? I thought all dicks could whistle."
  • (F. Murray Abraham) "Only "Stormy Weather.""

Treat Williams as Michael Brick

  • (Treat Williams) "I was born with this voice."
  • (Rita Moreno) "So was Yma Sumac."
  • (Treat Williams) "See something you like, Buddy?"

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