The Return of the Pink Panther Quotes

The Return of the Pink Panther is a television program that debuted in 1970 . The Return of the Pink Panther ended in 1970.

It features Blake Edwards as producer, Henry Mancini in charge of musical score, and Geoffrey Unsworth as head of cinematography.

The Return of the Pink Panther is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of The Return of the Pink Panther is 114 minutes long. The Return of the Pink Panther is distributed by United Artists.

The cast includes: Herbert Lom as Dreyfus, Peter Sellers as Clouseau, John Bluthal as Blind beggar, Christopher Plummer as Sir Charles Lytton, Catherine Schell as Claudine, Mike Grady as Bellboy, Peter Sellers as Inspector Jacques Clouseau, David Lodge as Mac, Peter Sellers as Doctor, and Graham Stark as Pepi.

The Return of the Pink Panther Quotes

Herbert Lom as Dreyfus

• (Herbert Lom) "-- You are suspended for six months, without pay, effective immediately. Have you anything to say?"
• (Peter Sellers) "-- Could you lend me fifty francs?"

• (Herbert Lom) "Now he's off to Gstaad. Today, a paradise in the Swiss Alps; tomorrow, a wasteland."
• (Herbert Lom) "Compared to Clouseau, Attila the Hun was a Red Cross volunteer."

• (Herbert Lom) "The beggar was the lookout man for the gang."
• (Peter Sellers) "That is impossible."
• (Herbert Lom) "Why?"
• (Peter Sellers) "He was blind. How can a blind man be a lookout?"
• (Herbert Lom) "How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that."
• (Peter Sellers) "It's very simple, all he has to do is enlist --"
• (Herbert Lom) "Shut up."

Peter Sellers as Doctor

• (Peter Sellers) "How long have you been a bellboy?"
• (Mike Grady) "Oh, too long, Monsieur."
• (Peter Sellers) "Keep up the good work, and I shall see to it you become a bell man."

• (Peter Sellers) "This is Monsieur Gadoire; who is this speaking?"
• (Herbert Lom) "Don't you know? HmmHmmm. Can't you guess? I'll give you a clue; this is the man who hates you. This is the man who more than anything else in the world would like to see you dead and buried."
• (Peter Sellers) "-- are you the headwaiter that works in the little bistro on the Rue de Bazaar?"

• (Peter Sellers) "You fool. You raving Oriental idiot. There is a time and a place for everything, Cato. And this is it."

• (Peter Sellers) "Does Lady Lytton have a swimming pewl?"
• (Nice Police Chief) "A swimming pewl?"

• (Peter Sellers) "I did not know the bank was being robbed because I was engaged in my sworn duty as a police officer."

• (Col. Sharky) "Very ingenious."
• (Police Chief Lundallah) "He pulled himself across the floor."
• (Peter Sellers) "He did?"
• (Police Chief Lundallah) "How else could he have avoided our radar field?"
• (Peter Sellers) "Yes, how else. Hmm. Of course he would have needed a very slippery floor to do that."
• (Police Chief Lundallah) "Therefore, the wax."
• (Peter Sellers) "The wax? AGHH."
• (Col. Sharky) "Are you alright, Inspector?"
• (Peter Sellers) "Of course I'm alright. I'm -- examining the wax."
• (Peter Sellers) "Have you taken a sample of this wax?"
• (Police Chief Lundallah) "Wax is wax."
• (Peter Sellers) "See, this is where you are wrong. Wax is NOT just wax. In this case it is a clue. Domestic wax, Belgian Wax, French Wax, English Wax --"
• (Col. Sharky) "Ah, the Inspector is right. Have the wax tested immediately."
• (Peter Sellers) "It is my guess that you will find it is English wax."
• (Police Chief Lundallah) "Why?"
• (Peter Sellers) "Because your thief is an Englishman."
• (Col. Sharky) "How do you know that?"
• (Peter Sellers) "It is my business to know that. He is Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious Lytton."
• (Police Chief Lundallah) "The Phantom?"
• (Peter Sellers) "Yes, one and the same."

• (Peter Sellers) "I must leave. Zis Hotel is deteriorating rapidly."

• (Peter Sellers) "How much do you hate him?"
• (Herbert Lom) "How high is up? I hate every little molecule in his body."

• (Peter Sellers) "Follow that car."

• (Peter Sellers) "This is very strange. I do not ever recall receiving the fortune cookie in a Japanese Restaurant."
• (Sgt. François Chevalier) "What does yours say?"
• (Peter Sellers) "Beware of Japanese Waitress bearing fortune cookies"

• (Peter Sellers) "Describe your thoughts. Get them out in the open. You'll feel much better."
• (Herbert Lom) "All right. See, it's always the same. Clouseau is sitting there, in a chair, just like you, with his back to me. Then suddenly, my hands go round his throat, and I begin to squeeze. It's wonderful. It's marvelous. I'm squeezing. And the more I squeeze, the freer I feel. I'm in ecstasy. And then suddenly, suddenly my problem is solv-ved."
• (Herbert Lom) "Doctor. DOCTOR."

• (Peter Sellers) "Good Sharkey, Colonel God."

• (Peter Sellers) "Swine bird."

• (Peter Sellers) "-- I am from the Nice Telephone Company; there is some trouble with your phone."
• (David Lodge) "-- I don't think there's any trouble with the telephones here."
• (Peter Sellers) "I know when there is a trouble, and when there is not a trouble, and you may rest assured that there is a trouble."
• (David Lodge) "Since when?"
• (Peter Sellers) "Since it was reported."
• (David Lodge) "By whom? And what sort of trouble is it?"
• (Peter Sellers) "If I knew that, I could simply call you up and tell you what the trouble with your telephone is."
• (Catherine Schell) "Well -- Whatever the trouble is, I hope you locate it."
• (Peter Sellers) "Madame, it is my business to locate trouble --"
• (Peter Sellers) "-- Er, no trouble back there."

• (Peter Sellers) "I tell you, infamous powers are at work. The instant you assign me to a case, the Underworld hears about it and I am set upon. It is amazing that I am still alive."
• (Herbert Lom) ""Amazing" is not the word."
• (Peter Sellers) "Do I detect something in your voice that says I am in disfavor with you?"
• (Herbert Lom) "YES. I wish you were DEAD."
• (Peter Sellers) "Well, of course, you are entitled to your opinion."

• (Peter Sellers) "Are you blind?"
• (John Bluthal) "Yes."

• (Peter Sellers) "Cato is in hospital. They nearly blew his little yellow skin off."

Christopher Plummer as Sir Charles Lytton

• (Christopher Plummer) "He's out of ammunition."
• (Peter Sellers) "He's out of his mind, that's what he's out of."

• (Christopher Plummer) "There's something about a wife, even with a beard."

• (Christopher Plummer) "With friends like you, who needs enemies?"

• (Christopher Plummer) "All right, Darling, where is it?"
• (Catherine Schell) "After all these years, you still need to ask?"

John Bluthal as Blind beggar

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Graham Stark as Pepi

• (Graham Stark) "You're breaking my fingers."
• (Christopher Plummer) "Well, why don't you call a policeman?"

Catherine Schell as Claudine

• (Col. Sharky) "I will be forced to shoot you."
• (Catherine Schell) "Who's forcing you?"

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