The Other Guys Quotes

The Other Guys is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . The Other Guys ended in 1970.

It features Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, Jimmy Miller, and Patrick Crowley as producer, Jon Brion in charge of musical score, and Oliver Wood (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

The Other Guys is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Other Guys is 107 minutes long. The Other Guys is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Mark Wahlberg as Terry Hoitz, Samuel L. Jackson as P.K. Highsmith, Damon Wayans, Jr. as Fosse, Steve Coogan as David Ershon, Zach Woods as Douglas, Dwayne Johnson as Christopher Danson, Michael Keaton as Captain Gene Mauch, Rob Riggle as Martin, Eva Mendes as Dr. Sheila Gamble, Adam McKay as Dirty Mike, Ray Stevenson as Roger Wesley, Lindsay Sloane as Francine, Brett Gelman as Hal, Viola Harris as Mama Ramos, Andy Buckley as Don Beaman, Bobby Cannavale as Jimmy, and Ice-T as Narrator.

The Other Guys Quotes

Michael Keaton as Captain Gene Mauch

• (Michael Keaton) "Look, there's guys on top coming down on me like a ton of bricks, and I got to save what little ass I have left, all right?"

• (Michael Keaton) "In twenty years, that guy's never been down here before. What did you two do?"

• (Michael Keaton) "Shake your dicks, this pissing contest is over."

• (Michael Keaton) "You know Danson and Highsmith were not good cops, right?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Yeah. But with the way things are now, who's left?"
• (Michael Keaton) "Not to be too corny about it -- maybe it's you guys."

• (Michael Keaton) "Wait a minute, wait a minute. How many times have I explicitly told you, lay off Ershon?"
• (Allen Gamble) "Terry, how many times has Captain told us to stay off the Ershon case?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Twice."
• (Allen Gamble) "Terry says twice, I agree."

• (Michael Keaton) "Alright Allen, you're gonna have to hand over your gun."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Captain, you really want to disarm this guy, take out the batteries in the calculator."

• (Michael Keaton) "Listen guys, I've got two jobs. I work here, and I have another job at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm doing it to put a kid through NYU, so he can explore his bisexuality and become a DJ."

• (Michael Keaton) "You know what, I'm going to hang onto the wooden gun."
• (Allen Gamble) "To give me back my real gun?"
• (Michael Keaton) "No. I'm going to give you this -- It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you're in any trouble, and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out."

• (Michael Keaton) "This paperwork is like Bob's wife here. It's thick, ugly, and has Danson's fingerprints all over it. No offense, Bob."
• (Bob Littleford) "Nah, it's alright."

Mark Wahlberg as Terry Hoitz

• (Bob Littleford) "Hey, guys. There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment of the pension coming up, so if you just wanna come by the old --"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Damn it, Bob. Let me ask you something; what do you even do around here besides interrupt people?"
• (Bob Littleford) "Well, I serve as treasurer to the union, I make a wicked pot of decaf --"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Exactly. You're a worthless piece of s***."
• (Bob Littleford) "Probably right, Terry. That's why I feel so sad all the time. I'm gonna go for a walk."
• (Bob Littleford) "Bob."
• (Allen Gamble) "Say something."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Come on. Bob."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "It's a bad time, Bob."

• (Allen Gamble) "Hey, I didn't know you can dance."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids to show them how queer they were, okay."
• (Allen Gamble) "You learned to dance like that sarcastically?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Yeah, I guess."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "Half empty bottle of Gin, chair knocked over. And look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle. Make sure you get this, all right?"
• (Michael Keaton) "Detectives, all your work's done here. You can go."
• (Allen Gamble) "What about Ershwon targeting the lottery?"
• (Michael Keaton) "You know why Ershwon was calling down to the lottery offices all those times. It's because he was hooking up with the Powerball girl, the one on TV with all the number balls. Yeah, she filed a restraining order on him last week. It was right there in front of you guys the whole time."
• (Allen Gamble) "It can't be."
• (Michael Keaton) "You guys are getting transfered."
• (Allen Gamble) "What?"
• (Michael Keaton) "Traffic. Yeah, that's right."
• (Michael Keaton) "You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown."
• (Allen Gamble) "I --"
• (Michael Keaton) "You're gonna walk a beat downtown. It's done."
• (Michael Keaton) "No. No, no. It's done. Save yourselves some gas."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Captain."
• (Allen Gamble) "Is there an appeal process we can --"
• (Rob Riggle) "Had to do what you had to do, Captain."
• (Damon Wayans, Jr.) "Ouch."
• (Rob Riggle) "Wow. That hurt."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "What the hell are you doing?"
• (Lindsay Sloane) "I'm dancing, Terry. What the hell are you doing here?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "I love you, Francine. If you were with me, you wouldn't be here in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills."
• (Lindsay Sloane) "This is a ballet studio, Terry, okay? These poles are horizontal."
• (Allen Gamble) "He loves you very much, Francine."
• (Lindsay Sloane) "Who is this guy?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "What are you doing here, Allen?"
• (Allen Gamble) "It's the code, I'm your partner. I'm here to support a friend and a work colleague."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "They took my shoes again, man. What the hell is it with taking shoes?"

• (Art Gallery Patron) "Is this man bothering you?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Are you actually having sex with this creep?"
• (Lindsay Sloane) "Terry, he's gay, okay? He's even wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm gay"."

• (Allen Gamble) "Hey, what are you doing here?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "I come here when I have lady troubles, which means I come here every night."

• (Allen Gamble) "Get in the car."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Come on, Allen, we both know it's wooden."
• (Allen Gamble) "Apartment pop. Now get in the car."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "You're not gonna shoot me."
• (Allen Gamble) "Ok, I'll be honest. This is only the second time I've ever fired this."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "So stop pointing it at me."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "Little boy on his 13th birthday, it's time to get laid."
• (Allen Gamble) "Already feels inappropriate."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "So he goes to the lady at the barn and says, "Miss, I know you usually want money, but I don't have any money. It's my birthday, do you think I could have sex with you for this duck?""
• (Allen Gamble) "Was he a farmer? Because that's probably a health code violation to bring a duck into a place of prostitution."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "They weren't going to have sex with duck."
• (Allen Gamble) "No, I just mean a health code violation to have the duck brought into a facility like that."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "So anyway, she says "Yes, I'll do it." So he goes in there and gives it to her."
• (Allen Gamble) "He gives her what?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "The high hard one, and she loves it. So she goes, "If you do that again, I'll give you your duck back". So he gets laid twice for free."
• (Allen Gamble) "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. So the duck is payment for sexual intercourse?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Yes, he used it as payment and now he's getting paid back the duck. He says, "Oh my God this is the greatest birthday ever." He does it again. Now he's walking home, right? --"
• (Allen Gamble) "So she was satisfied with the duck as currency?"
• (Allen Gamble) "Okay."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "So he's walking home, and can't wait to get home to tell his father. So he's walking down the street with the duck, and all of a sudden, 'Vroom.' A truck comes by and runs over his duck. Kills the duck."
• (Allen Gamble) "Kills the duck? So the duck is now dead?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "The duck is dead. The kid starts crying, the truck driver stops, he's all upset, he didn't mean-."
• (Allen Gamble) "Of course he's crying, he's a 13 year old boy who just had sex twice and just watched his beloved duck die. So far I don't see how this is ever going to be funny."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "The guy feels so bad about killing the duck so he gives him two dollars."
• (Allen Gamble) "And the kid's happy with the two bucks?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "He's ecstatic. He got laid twice and now he's got two dollars on top of it."
• (Allen Gamble) "Seems like a duck would be worth a lot more than two dollars."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Well this was awhile back. So he goes home and his dad says "What happened, what happened? Tell me, tell me." He goes, "Dad, I got a f*** for the duck, I got a duck for the f***, and I got two bucks for a f***ed up duck.""
• (Allen Gamble) "So it's like a limerick."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "You didn't think that was funny?"
• (Allen Gamble) "I thought it was entertaining at the end, sure. The way all the words were put together, but in terms of content? No."
• (Allen Gamble) "Get the check."

• (Allen Gamble) "America."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Did you yell 'America' when you hit the accelerator?"
• (Allen Gamble) "Nope. No, no. I've never actually put my foot all the way down to the ground with the accelerator like that. It got me slightly aroused."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "Remember us, hotshot?"
• (Steve Coogan) "Of course I do. Please, sit."
• (Steve Coogan) "Two of those Russian waters, please. No lime wedges, just cucumber."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office."
• (Steve Coogan) "Yes, that awful gas leak."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now."
• (Steve Coogan) "I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way. I absolutely abhor death."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber, the jig is up, okay? We know it wasn't your security team that grabbed you. And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses. You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises."
• (Allen Gamble) "God, this water is good. Terry, have you tried the water?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Shut up, Allen."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "We're gonna do 'good cop, bad cop'. Okay? It's the oldest game in the book for a reason; it works. I come strong, then you come in. You got it?"
• (Allen Gamble) "Yeah."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "I come strong, then you come in."
• (Allen Gamble) "Right. Got it."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Now you listen to me, you piece of s***. It's just you and me, and I'm gonna rip you apart. How did you cover your losses up? Huh? What drug cartel are you working with now?"
• (Steve Coogan) "Okay, I'll talk to you,"
• (Steve Coogan) "you're reasonable."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "No-no, look at me."
• (Allen Gamble) "Yeah? You wanna talk to me?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Allen, what are you doing?"
• (Allen Gamble) "I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human s***."
• (Allen Gamble) "Look, I'm really sorry about that. I just -- I saw how aggressive you were being, and I thought 'Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that since we're doing 'Bad cop, bad cop'."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "What? No, I said 'Good cop, bad cop'. I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop."
• (Allen Gamble) "Okay, then there it is. That's it. I thought you said 'Bad cop, bad cop'."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "What is this?"
• (Allen Gamble) "It's my car; it's a Prius."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "I'm like a peacock, you gotta let me fly."

• (Allen Gamble) "I didn't need you to stick up for me, ok? I could've handled that myself."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Hey, don't flatter yourself. It's the partners' code. I had no choice."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "No, I don't like you. I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend."
• (Allen Gamble) "OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "How you gonna do that?"
• (Allen Gamble) "We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned."
• (Allen Gamble) "Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope."

• (Allen Gamble) "I'm so tired of you getting angry, and yelling all the time, it's exhausting. I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "You want to know why I'm so angry all the time? Because the more I try to do right the more I screw things up."

• (Mark Wahlberg) "That hurt, man."

• (Allen Gamble) "Wow, Mauch was upset, huh?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Really? The only thing I had to proud of in my life was being a detective. That's all I had. Now, it's gone."
• (Allen Gamble) "I know. Well, you still got me."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Don't you get it? I don't want you, Allen. I never did. I told you that scaffolding violation was dogs***."
• (Allen Gamble) "I've can't believe you still doubt me after everything we've seen. It's a real case and I'm a real cop. We just got the wrong target for Ershwon."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "You carry a rape whistle."
• (Allen Gamble) "This is real cop's work."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "There is nothing about you that makes a man a man, ok? You've got no gun, no car, no wife, and now you've got no partner. Leave me alone."
• (Ice-T) "A mutt case --"
• (Allen Gamble) "Terry, I am a cop for your information, ok?"
• (Ice-T) "-- a broken partnership --"
• (Allen Gamble) "I'm a cop."
• (Ice-T) "-- and getting busted down to a s***ty assignment. Allen and Terry have hit the trifecta."

• (Allen Gamble) "I can't hear. I can't hear. There's blood blisters on my hands. Oh, my God. How do you walk away in a movie without flinching when it explodes behind them? There's no way. I call bulls*** on that. When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, and it was followed by the explosion, that was bulls***."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars. That was all accurate."

• (Allen Gamble) "What are you doing?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "We just handed all of our evidence over to the bad guy's lawyer."
• (Allen Gamble) "Are you a big man? Huh? I'm talkin' to you."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "What?"
• (Allen Gamble) "Do you wake up in the mornin' and say, "I'm puttin on my big boy pants. Look, I'm wearin' a belt. I got big boy pants on.""
• (Allen Gamble) "We don't do that s***."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Stop. Stop it man, you're scarin' the s*** outta me man, stop it."
• (Allen Gamble) "Is this how you conduct yourself -- in a democracy?"

Damon Wayans, Jr. as Fosse

• (Damon Wayans, Jr.) "Hope you like prison food -- and penis."

• (Damon Wayans, Jr.) "At the crime scene, LOL"
• (Rob Riggle) "Good tweet, good tweet."

Ray Stevenson as Roger Wesley

• (Ray Stevenson) "There are three things I love in this world: Kylie Minogue, small dimples just above a woman's buttocks --"
• (Allen Gamble) "Beautiful features."
• (Ray Stevenson) "And the fear in a man's eye when he know's I'm about to hurt him."

Steve Coogan as David Ershon

• (Steve Coogan) "I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise it's just sort of a linear story."

• (Steve Coogan) "Gentlemen, you have two choices: Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys."

• (Steve Coogan) "Is this real? Am I being Punk'd?"

• (Allen Gamble) "Whoa, your hair's soft."
• (Steve Coogan) "VO5 Hot Oil."

Samuel L. Jackson as P.K. Highsmith

• (Samuel L. Jackson) "You have the right to remain silent -- but I want to hear you scream."

• (Samuel L. Jackson) "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin', partner?"
• (Dwayne Johnson) "Aim for the bushes."

Bobby Cannavale as Jimmy

• (Bobby Cannavale) "Chinatown. Three triad gang members. I pop two of them off the draw; bang, bang. And I raise up to take the leader out --"
• (Therapy Cop) "Oh s***, I feel like I'm there now."
• (Bobby Cannavale) "I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof. He says, "Let's even the odds." He tosses me down a Mossberg pump, I send one through his chest. Game over, bitches."
• (Therapist) "Jimmy, let's talk about how that story made you feel."
• (Bobby Cannavale) "Like my cock was made outta concrete."

Rob Riggle as Martin

• (Rob Riggle) "Look at these two jamokes, would ya? One shot Jeter and the other shot an office."
• (Damon Wayans, Jr.) "Have some decorum, we're at a funeral. Shhh."
• (Damon Wayans, Jr.) "You wanna dance Brolio? Huh? I will rock your body with big nasty hooks, you'll be pissin' blood outta your ass."
• (Allen Gamble) "That's horrible."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Why don't you step back, man. You touch him, I swear to god I'm gonna beat the s*** out of you with Allen's head."
• (Allen Gamble) "He's not gonna do that, that's hyperbole, but that's a weird example."

• (Rob Riggle) "It looks like Scarface sneezed on your car."

Brett Gelman as Hal

• (Brett Gelman) "You get back here and you make love to my wife."

• (Brett Gelman) "What would you rather be, a bear or a dog?"
• (Mark Wahlberg) "I don't care."
• (Brett Gelman) "I would rather be a bear-dog, half bear, half dog. Because that way I would live in the house, but I still get to make a doodie in the woods."

Andy Buckley as Don Beaman

• (Allen Gamble) "This is all the evidence we have, and I, I truly hope you take this seriously."
• (Andy Buckley) "Yes. Very much so."
• (Allen Gamble) "From everything I've heard, you guys are the best at these types of investigations -- Outside of Enron -- and AIG; and Bernie Madoff; WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers --"
• (Andy Buckley) "O-Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective."

Adam McKay as Dirty Mike

• (Adam McKay) "How you fellas doin'? We about to have us a little screw party in this red Prius over here if you wanna join us."
• (Allen Gamble) "Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the Boys?"
• (Adam McKay) "How you know who we are?"
• (Allen Gamble) "You left a note in that car."
• (Mark Wahlberg) "Police, s***head."
• (Adam McKay) "He's a copper, we gotta go. C'mon. Hey, grease it, boys. They're cops."
• (Allen Gamble) "You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare."
• (Adam McKay) "We are gonna have sex in your car. It will happen again."

Eva Mendes as Dr. Sheila Gamble

• (Allen Gamble) "I think my line is being tapped. Do you remember where we did it on Halloween 3 years ago?"
• (Eva Mendes) "Yeah."
• (Allen Gamble) "Meet me there."

• (Eva Mendes) "Allen, I'm pregnant."
• (Allen Gamble) "Whose baby is that? Who's the man who did that to you?"

Viola Harris as Mama Ramos

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Ice-T as Narrator

• (Ice-T) "In New York City there's a fine line between law and chaos. On that line live Danson and Highsmith."

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