The Muppet Show Quotes

The Muppet Show is a Sketch comedy that appeared on TV in 1976 on ITV, and Types. The Muppet Show ended in 1981.

The Muppet Show aired for 120 episodes. It features Jim Henson; Sam Pottle as theme composer. The Muppet Show is created by Jim Henson.

The Muppet Show is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom, and United States. Each episode of The Muppet Show is 22-26 minutes long. The Muppet Show is produced by The Jim Henson Company; Associated Television; ITC Entertainment and distributed by ITC Entertainment; Disney-ABC Domestic Television. Spinoffs for this show include The Muppet Movie (1979).

The Muppet Show Quotes

• (Fozzie) "I'll get it."
• (Fozzie) "Muppet Show backstage."
• (Kermit) "Fozzie, who was it this time?"
• (Fozzie) "Las Vegas."

• (Fozzie) "I don't got rhythm."
• (Rowlf) "That's for sure."
• (Fozzie) "I don't got rhythm."
• (Rowlf) "Who can ask for anything more?"
• (Statler) "We could."
• (Waldorf) "Yeah. Earplugs."

• (Kermit) "Fozzie, will you get that?"
• (Fozzie) "Hello. Muppet Show backstage."
• (Kermit) "Who was that?"
• (Fozzie) "The water department."
• (Kermit) "What the hey?"

• (Fozzie) "I got it."
• (Fozzie) "Muppet Show backstage."
• (Kermit) "Uh Fozzie, who was it this time?"
• (Fozzie) "The Atomic Energy Commission."

• (Announcer) "And now, "Veterinarian's Hospital". The continuing storrrrry of a quack who's gone to the dogs."

• (Miss Piggy) "But I love him."
• (Rowlf) "How could you love him? You're a nurse."
• (Miss Piggy) "That may be true, but I am a woman first."
• (Rowlf) "No, you're not. You're a pig first. Nurse second. I don't think woman made the top 10."

• (Miss Piggy) "Methinks thou doth protest too much."
• (Kermit) "What?"
• (Miss Piggy) "Shakespeare."
• (Kermit) "Sounds more like Bacon. From a ham."
• (Miss Piggy) "How would you like a pork chop? Hi-yah."
• (Miss Piggy) "You always hurt the one you love."

• (Waldorf) "Well, this show certainly doesn't lay any eggs."
• (Unnamed) "Bwak bawk bawk."
• (Statler) "Wanna bet?"

• (Waldorf) "He shouldn't have jumped. The show wasn't that bad."

• (Statler) "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't watched it."
• (Waldorf) "Believe what?"
• (Statler) "I don't know; I wasn't watching."

• (Fozzie) "Kermit. Kermit. This time I have really got it. I have re-mastered the art of handling hecklers."
• (Kermit) "Oh, you think so, huh?"
• (Fozzie) "Oh, I know so. I know so."
• (Kermit) "OK, I tell you what; you tell a joke and I will heckle you."
• (Fozzie) "Great."
• (Kermit) "But, Fozzie; I expect a great comeback."
• (Fozzie) "Right."
• (Fozzie) "Ahh, my cousin's so dumb he thinks Eggs Benedict's a mafia gangster."
• (Kermit) "I've seen cheeseburgers funnier then that."
• (Fozzie) "What do you think, huh? Too subtle?"

• (Statler) "This show is awful."
• (Waldorf) "Terrible."
• (Statler) "Disgusting."
• (Waldorf) "See you next week?"
• (Statler) "Of course."

• (Statler) "What have you got for an opening act this time? A Chinese gorilla dancing ballet?"
• (Kermit) "Cancel the opening number."
• (Unnamed) "Dong day do dai dai do --"

• (Waldorf) "Tell me, Statler. Do you have any naval experience?"
• (Statler) "Well, I once saved a rat from drowning."
• (Waldorf) "Really, how?"
• (Statler) "I gave him mouth to mouse resuscitation."

• (Waldorf) "How do they do it?"
• (Statler) "How do we watch it?"
• (Waldorf) "Why do we watch it?"
• (Statler) "Why do you watch it?"

• (Waldorf) "Well, you gotta give them credit."
• (Statler) "Why's that?"
• (Waldorf) "Well, they're gonna keep on doing it till they get it right."

• (Announcer) "And now it's time for Veterinarian's Hospital, the continuing story of an orthopedic surgeon who's gone to the dogs."

• (Waldorf) "You are my sunshine. My only sunshine."
• (Statler) "Why you old fool."
• (Waldorf) "What?"
• (Statler) "I'm not your son and my name's not Shine."
• (Waldorf) "And he calls me an old fool?"

• (Robot Kermit) "Hey, listen you, how about you and me getting together and makin' some ste-e-e-am heat. Huh, snuggle bunny?"
• (Miss Piggy) "Snuggle bunny? Why, uh --"
• (Robot Kermit) "Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Aaah, a marriage made in heaven. A frog and a pig. We can have bouncing baby figs."

• (Fozzie) "Let's all sing the rhyming song, the rhyming song, the rhyming song. Let's take turns and rhyme together -- the rhyming song."
• (Pig) "I left my niece in your car."
• (Fozzie) "The rhyming song, the rhyming song."
• (Pig) "My laundry's ready at half-past nine."
• (Fozzie) "The rhyming song. Oh brother. Link?"
• (Unnamed) "The stars are twinkling in the sky."
• (Fozzie) "The rhyming song, the rhyming song."
• (Unnamed) "There's no hot water in my hotel."
• (Fozzie) "The rhyming song."

• (Unnamed) "What's the difference between illegal and immoral?"
• (Unnamed) "Immoral is something that's not right and illegal is me with a tummy ache."
• (Unnamed) "I didn't write it."

• (Waldorf) "I can't believe those rats were responsible for this show."
• (Statler) "Those rats were also responsible for the bubonic plague. Dohohohoh."

• (Waldorf) "Just when you think this show is terrible something wonderful happens."
• (Statler) "What?"
• (Waldorf) "It ends."

• (Beauregard) "Kermit. Kermit. I had a dream and it was so real. I -- what does it mean when you dream people are walking on your head?"
• (Kermit) "It means you're sleeping on the floor."

• (Miss Piggy) "It's too late, Doctor Bob. We've lost him."
• (Rowlf) "Well, he couldn't have gone far. He was under the sheet just a second ago."

• (Waldorf) "Uh, Statler?"
• (Statler) "Yeah, what?"
• (Waldorf) "Is that it?"
• (Statler) "Yes, it's over. How'd you like it?"
• (Waldorf) "Uh, I don't know. I slept through the whole thing."
• (Statler) "Well, you didn't miss much."

• (Kermit) "Animal, you like the theme song, don't you?"
• (Animal) "Yeah, yeah."
• (Floyd) "No, no."
• (Animal) "No, no."

• (Kermit) "Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Muppet Show."

• (Statler) "Ever heard of pig on bikes?"
• (Waldorf) "I've never heard of road hogs."

• (Statler) "I like that last number."
• (Waldorf) "What did you like about it?"
• (Statler) "It was the last number."

• (Kermit) "And now a man who needs no introduction, so what am I doing out here?"

• (Fozzie) "I'll get it."
• (Fozzie) "Muppet Show backstage."
• (Kermit) "Fozzie, who was that?"
• (Fozzie) "The fire department."
• (Kermit) "I think this is what's called a running gag."
• (Fozzie) "No, THAT'S what's called a running gag."

• (Statler) "Well the show tonight certainly didn't lay an egg."
• (Unnamed) "Bawk."
• (Waldorf) "Wanna bet?"

• (Waldorf) "These seats are awful."
• (Statler) "Why? Can't you see anything?"
• (Waldorf) "That's the problem. I can see everything."

• (Muppet Newsman) "Here is a Muppet News Flash."
• (Muppet Newsman) "There is no news tonight."

• (Waldorf) "You know, on the show that wasn't funny."
• (Statler) "True, true."
• (Waldorf) "But on a record, it doesn't even make sense."

• (Statler) "You know I never liked this show's theme music."
• (Waldorf) "Niether did I."
• (Kermit) "You promised."

• (Waldorf) "Pay up. They made it through another one"
• (Statler) "Double or nothing next week's show?"
• (Waldorf) "You're on."

• (Statler) "Now why did you do that to poor Fozzie?"
• (Waldorf) "Do what? I really was on the Titanic."
• (Statler) "I know. You still have the dress you wore so they'd let you in the life boat. Heh heh heh."
• (Waldorf) "D'oh."

• (Announcer) "And now Pigs in Space. Starring the ever handsome Link Hogwash, the illustrious first mate Miss Piggy, and the scientist Dr Jullius Strangepork. Our story begins when --"

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