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The Mating Game (film) Quotes

The Mating Game (film) is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . The Mating Game ended in 1970.

It features Philip Barry, Jr. as producer, Jeff Alexander (score) in charge of musical score, and Robert J. Bronner as head of cinematography.

The Mating Game (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Mating Game (film) is 96 minutes long.

The cast includes: Debbie Reynolds as Mariette Larkin, Donald Losby as Grant Larkin, Rickey Murray as Lee Larkin, Una Merkel as Ma Larkin, Tony Randall as Lorenzo Charlton, Caryl Bailey as Luisa, Addison Powell as David DeGroot, Philip Ober as Wendell Burnshaw, Fred Clark as Oliver Kelsey, and William Smith as Barney.

The Mating Game (film) Quotes

Una Merkel as Ma Larkin

  • (Una Merkel) "No offense, but, you look down right seedy."
  • (Tony Randall) "I suppose so."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "It's that city air. Dirty's up your blood, hey Pop?"
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Yup. I took one look at you laddie-buck, I said to myself, what he needs is a few days in the country."
  • (Una Merkel) "Oh, grand."
  • (Una Merkel) "Careful, now. A boar's a dangerous animal, especially in the mating season."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Ma, every animal's dangerous in the mating season. You oughta know that by now."
  • (Una Merkel) "Not in front of the Reverend."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "It must have a case of love at first sight. Just like you and me, huh, Ma?"
  • (Una Merkel) "Look, here. Don't you go comparing us to a couple of pigs."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Don't you be so touchy."
  • (Una Merkel) "He's like that. Ask him for the loan of his shotgun, without thinkin' twice, he'll give you both barrels."
  • (Una Merkel) "Hon, that kind of fish don't jump in your lap. You gotta bait the hook. Look, go put on your pink dress and use some of my new perfume, that "Orgee." I used some the other night and Pop nearly came unhinged."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Nearly? Mighty powerful."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "Ma, it's not "Orgee," its: Orgy."
  • (Una Merkel) "Orgy."

Debbie Reynolds as Mariette Larkin

  • (Debbie Reynolds) "How can you live in a stinkin' city?"
  • (Tony Randall) "I work there. And I study law at night."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "A lawyer."
  • (Tony Randall) "Well, not for another year. Then, I'm off to Washington."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "What for?"
  • (Tony Randall) "Experience. Contacts. In another four years I intend to run for Congress."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "No kidding? How come?"
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "Good morning. How's my lovely little revenuer? Oh, you look kind of piqued. Well, that's the price you pay. I guess you're out of condition, huh? I'm only kidding. You were wonderful. Just wonderful. You better get some more sleep. After last night, you need it. I'll keep your breakfast warm."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "Now, now, now, Charlie. Don't act like a tax collector."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "You still at it? Hmm? How's it coming?"
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "The only time you act human is when you're drunk."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "You were born suspicious. I'll bet you made the doctor show his license before you let him slap your behind."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "A crazy lot of people around here."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "One look and I can size a person up. Take this fella I met. Right off I could tell what was the matter with him. A nice looking fella. Smart. Ambitious. But, so serious. Work, work, work. All day long. What he needs, I said, was somebody who could show him how to get some fun out of life. And, I said, I'm just the one to do it."
  • (Tony Randall) "You know, You know what's wrong with you? You're inhibited."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "Would you prefer the home spun type? Honey, lamb. Honey, sugar. Sweetie pie. Honey lamb. Suger plum."
  • (Tony Randall) "No."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "Maybe a career girl?"
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "May I take a letter, Senator. Any letter you care to dictate to me. From A to Z. You take it and I'll just run it down your throat."
  • (Tony Randall) "Oh, cut out the monkey business and let me get on with my work. Please."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "Well, what type do you like?"
  • (Tony Randall) "The silent, invisible type."
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "Maple's pregnant. Yeh, practically everything's pregnant. It's that time of year, you know? You can feel it in the air, can't you?"

Tony Randall as Lorenzo Charlton

  • (Tony Randall) "Poppy."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Huh?"
  • (Tony Randall) "We got a problem on our hands. She's ripe and ready, that girl."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Ah, Ma, she's just practicing. You know, like they say, practice makes perfect."
  • (Tony Randall) "Too much practice takes the edge off the real thing."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "You know me, Ma, I'm all for the real thing."
  • (Tony Randall) "Mariette's a good girl; so, we got nothing to worry about so far. But, I know the signs. It's time we got her a husband."
  • (Tony Randall) "Mariette, you go change your clothes. A girl like you wearing pants."
  • (Una Merkel) "Mom."
  • (Tony Randall) "Do what I tell you, hon."
  • (Tony Randall) "Mr. Larkin, everybody who has a gross annual income of $600 or more has got to file an income tax return."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Well, that let's me out. All I got's a $183. The most money I've ever had in a couple of years."
  • (Tony Randall) "Just now out in the yard, I saw a big refrigerator in the truck. How much did that cost you?"
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "One second-hand manure spreader."
  • (Tony Randall) "How much did the manure spreader cost you?"
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "About, 50 loads of manure."
  • (Tony Randall) "And, Mr. Larkin --"
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "It's A-1, first class manure. Pop gets it at the Dairy. First of all, it's screened and then it's aged and --"
  • (Tony Randall) "When a taxpayer shortchanges the government, its the same thing as if he shortchanged his own family. Why? Because the government belongs to everybody."
  • (Tony Randall) "Mr. Larkin, I am an agent of the United States government. I'm here to talk to you about your income tax."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Hidey ho, what do you know? Hear that, Ma?"
  • (Una Merkel) "A government man."
  • (Tony Randall) "So you see, I can't take favors from taxpayers."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Who's a taxpayer? I never paid a tax in my life. Did I, Ma? Ask Ma. Did I?"
  • (Una Merkel) "No, that's right, he never did."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Never."
  • (Tony Randall) "Mr. Larkin, not only have you never once paid any income tax, but you've never even filed an income tax return."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "What's that, return?"
  • (Tony Randall) "Yes, one of these forms."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Well, I -- well, I never got one. So how could I return it?"

Donald Losby as Grant Larkin

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Fred Clark as Oliver Kelsey

  • (Fred Clark) "What was that?"
  • (Philip Ober) "My pig. Perfectly normal pig, until the Larkin's got ahold of him. Now, he's a nervous wreck."
  • (Fred Clark) "What have they done to him?"
  • (Philip Ober) "Corrupted him. Turned him into a howling sex maniac. If they can do it to my pig, they can do it your birddog."
  • (Fred Clark) "I don't like to ruin a man. We don't enjoy taking his stocks and bonds, selling his house and property. But, when a man shortchanges Uncle Sam, it leaves us no choice. Great or small, gentlemen, high-bracket, low-bracket, if Uncle doesn't get his cut; we nail your hide to the barnyard door."
  • (Fred Clark) "If you let her get away, you are out of a job."
  • (Tony Randall) "Mr. Kelsey, with your imagination, I think you know what you can do with my job, sir."

Addison Powell as David DeGroot

  • (Addison Powell) "Wendell, what can I do? I'm a tax lawyer."
  • (Philip Ober) "Why do you think I sent for you? These days, who has all the money he needs? You don't. I don't. Why? Income tax."
  • (Addison Powell) "Well, granted, what does that got to do with it?"
  • (Philip Ober) "Every year those bureaucratic cut-throats drink my blood. In spite of you, in spite of my so-called friend in the Treasury Department, every year they bleed me dry."

Caryl Bailey as Luisa

  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Howdy-doodle-doo, Luisa. My, you're looking bright-eyed and bushy tailed."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Hey, you knocked off some blubber didn't you."
  • (Caryl Bailey) "Five pounds."
  • (Sidney 'Pop' Larkin) "Well, that looks good."

William Smith as Barney

  • (William Smith) "Hi ya, Suger. What's the good word?"
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "What do you want, Barney?"
  • (William Smith) "Is that anyway to talk to a fella who comes over here to pay you a friendly visit?"
  • (Debbie Reynolds) "Barney, take your paws off of me. I'm in a bad mood."

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