The Master of Disguise Quotes

The Master of Disguise is a television program that first aired in 1970 . The Master of Disguise completed its run in 1970.

It features Barry Bernardi, Sid Ganis, Todd Garner, Adam Sandler, and Alex Siskin as producer, Marc Ellis in charge of musical score, and Peter Lyons Collister as head of cinematography.

The Master of Disguise is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Master of Disguise is 81 minutes long. The Master of Disguise is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Dana Carvey as Pistachio Disguisey, Brent Spiner as Devlin Bowman, Harold Gould as Grandfather Disguisey, Jennifer Esposito as Jennifer, Maria Canals as Sophia, Mark Devine as Trent, Austin Wolff as Barney Baker, Vincent Castellanos as Art Dealer, and James Brolin as Fabbrizio Disguisey.

The Master of Disguise Quotes

Brent Spiner as Devlin Bowman

• (Brent Spiner) "No need to bring anything --"
• (Dana Carvey) "We don't want to go anywhere with you, Melon Head."

• (Brent Spiner) "I think it's time for you to go."
• (Dana Carvey) "This is what you're doing --"
• (Dana Carvey) "this is what I want you to do."
• (Brent Spiner) "Did you just tell me to shut up?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Yes."

Maria Canals as Sophia

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Dana Carvey as Pistachio Disguisey

• (Dana Carvey) "Come get the cheese, buttercup."

• (Texas Man) "Am I going too fast for you?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Am I going too fast for you?"
• (Texas Wife) "Are you mocking my husband?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Are you mocking my husband?"
• (Texas Wife) "'Cause you better not be."
• (Dana Carvey) "'Cause you better not be."

• (Dana Carvey) "I noticed that you became acquainted with the sidewalk a moment ago."

• (Dana Carvey) "Once I found an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know."

• (Dana Carvey) "I'm going to be a master of disguise. I'm going to be a master of disguise. I'm going to be a master of disguise --"
• (James Brolin) "ENOUGH."

• (Dana Carvey) "And yet, Backstreet Boy, this is one girl who isn't content to be the Malcolm in your middle."

• (Dana Carvey) "Can I help you?"
• (Harold Gould) "I have come to help you, Pistachio."
• (Dana Carvey) "Help me what?"
• (Harold Gould) "Find your mother and your father. My son."
• (Dana Carvey) "My father -- your son -- Holy canoli. You are my sister."

• (Dana Carvey) "Appraise this."
• (Vincent Castellanos) "It appears to be of 12th century Tuscan design --"
• (Dana Carvey) "I knew it was old, you fool. Let me appraise you; you're an idiot. A complete and total idiot."

• (Dana Carvey) "The folks around here call me "Dub-ya". Hoo ya."

• (Dana Carvey) "Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club. Turtle, turtle, turtle."

Harold Gould as Grandfather Disguisey

• (Harold Gould) "Did you ask Jeeves?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Yes but no such luck."
• (Harold Gould) "When you were on the roof -- did you hear something like this?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Yes exactly that. But without the pain on my face. We have a clue."

• (Harold Gould) "Who are you now?"
• (Dana Carvey) "The question is not who I am, the question is who are you? I'm Prince LaIi Jhamba from the Ringy Dingy Heights near Bombay, Calcutta and New Delhi, India. India. India."
• (Harold Gould) "It's time to test that."
• (Dana Carvey) "What is it?"
• (Dana Carvey) "That is a big reptile.Not a problem."
• (Dana Carvey) "Oh, yes. He wouldn't hurt anybody now.I'm going to call him Buttercup. So cute, eh?"
• (Harold Gould) "Energico. God help me, I love it."
• (Dana Carvey) "You like the cheese. Go get the cheese, Buttercup. You know you love it."

• (Harold Gould) "Ahh you're too young for the job. Go home and ask your mommy to change you're diaper."
• (Austin Wolff) "I don't wear a diaper."
• (Harold Gould) "Hey Pistachio. There's a talking baby out here."
• (Dana Carvey) "I want to see the talking baby coochy coochy coo. Brave Barney Baker nice to see you again."
• (Harold Gould) "You know this baby?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Yes, yes of course I do."
• (Austin Wolff) "Actually I was potty trained when I was two."
• (Dana Carvey) "Yes you are the conductor of the potty train."

• (Harold Gould) "When you were on the roof, did you hear something like this?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Yes exactly that. But without the pain on my face. We have a clue."

Jennifer Esposito as Jennifer

• (Jennifer Esposito) "Love Cake?"
• (Dana Carvey) "What?"
• (Jennifer Esposito) "You said "Love Cake"."
• (Dana Carvey) "Why would I say that? Your hindquarters are hideously scrawny."
• (Jennifer Esposito) "What?"
• (Dana Carvey) "What I was trying to say is that I have a present for Barney."
• (Dana Carvey) "Tell him they are from his dad -- da da da dat Italian guy -- Me."

• (Jennifer Esposito) "-- And now I believe that you can do anything."
• (Dana Carvey) "Ah. That's very nice but not exactly true, I -- I can't turn mud into oatmeal, for example, I can't build a spaceship that will travel to Pluto --"

Mark Devine as Trent

• (Mark Devine) "What kind of crap are you filling his head with?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Uh, the nice-ness?"
• (Mark Devine) ""The nice-ness?" You are trying to horn in in my action, aren't cha?"
• (Dana Carvey) "You are trying to horn in in my action, aren't cha?"
• (Mark Devine) "What?"
• (Mark Devine) "Are you mocking me?"
• (Dana Carvey) "What?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Are you mocking me?"

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