The Lying Detective Quotes

The Lying Detective is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . The Lying Detective completed its run in 1970.

It features Sue Vertue as producer, and David Arnold; Michael Price in charge of musical score.

The Lying Detective Quotes

• (Sherlock Holmes) "There must be something comforting about the number three, people always give up after three."

• (Sherlock Holmes) "Oh, for God's sakes, I don't text her back."
• (Dr. John Watson) "Why not? You bloody moron. She's out there, she likes you and she's alive. And do you have the first idea how lucky you are?"

• (Sherlock Holmes) "Who's this one? Is this a new person? I'm against new people."

• (Mrs. Hudson) "Is Molly the right person to be doing medicals? She's more used to dead people."

• (Dr. John Watson) "I mean, obviously, normal and fine are both relative terms when it comes to Sherlock and Mycroft."

• (Culverton Smith) "If the Queen was a serial killer, I'd be the first person she'd tell. We have that kind of friendship."

• (Sherlock Holmes) "The game's afoot"

• (Mrs. Hudson) "I'm the widow of a drug dealer. I own property in central London. And for the last bloody time, John, I'm not your housekeeper."

• (Sherlock Holmes) "Get me a fresh glass of water, please. This one's filthy."

• (Mrs. Hudson) "Get out of my house. You reptile."

• (Therapist) "Amazing, the times a man doesn't really look at your face. Oh, you can hide behind a sexy smile or a walking cane. Or just be a therapist talking about you -- all the time."

• (Policeman) "Do you have any idea what speed you were going at?"
• (Mrs. Hudson) "No, of course not. I was on the phone."

• (Lady Smallwood) "Here."
• (Mycroft Holmes) "What's this?"
• (Lady Smallwood) "My number."
• (Mycroft Holmes) "I already have your number."
• (Lady Smallwood) "My private number."
• (Mycroft Holmes) "Why would I need that?"
• (Lady Smallwood) "I don't know. Maybe you'd like a drink sometime."
• (Mycroft Holmes) "Of what?"
• (Lady Smallwood) "Up to you. Call me."

• (Dr. John Watson) "Yeah, well, they're real enough, I suppose."
• (Sherlock Holmes) "Why would I be faking?"
• (Dr. John Watson) "Because you're a liar. You lie all the time, it's like your mission."
• (Sherlock Holmes) "I have been many things, John, but when have I ever been a malingerer?"
• (Dr. John Watson) "You pretended to be dead for two years."
• (Sherlock Holmes) "Apart from that."

• (Dr. John Watson) "You didn't kill Mary. Mary died saving your life. It's her choice. No one made her do it, no one could ever make her do anything, but the point is, you did not kill her."
• (Sherlock Holmes) "In saving my life she conferred a value on it -- It is a currency I do not know how to spend."

• (Mary Watson) "If you're watching this, I'm -- probably dead. I'm giving you a case, Sherlock. Might be the hardest case of your career. When I'm -- gone, if I'm gone, I need you to do something for me. Save John Watson. Save him, Sherlock. Save him. Don't think anyone else is going to save him, because there isn't anyone. It's up to you. Save him. But I do think you're going to need a little bit of help with that, because you're not exactly good with people, so here's a few things you need to know about the man we both love. And more importantly, what you're going to need to do to save him. John Watson never accepts help. Not from anyone, not ever. But here's the thing; he never refuses it. So, here's what you are going to do. You can't save John, because he won't let you. He won't allow himself to be saved. The only way to save John is to make him save you. Go to hell, Sherlock. Go right into hell and make it look like you mean it. Go and pick a fight with a bad guy, put yourself in harm's way. If he thinks you need him, I swear -- he will be there."

• (Sherlock Holmes) "Stop talking. It makes me aware of your existence."

• (Dr. John Watson) "How did you know about that? I didn't tell you that."
• (Therapist) "You must have done."
• (Dr. John Watson) "I really didn't."
• (Therapist) "Well, maybe Sherlock told me."
• (Dr. John Watson) "Wait, you've met Sherlock exactly once, in this room. He was off his head."
• (Therapist) "Oh no, no. I-I met him before that."
• (Dr. John Watson) "When?"
• (Therapist) "We spent a night together. It was lovely. We had chips."
• (Therapist) "You're not what I expected, Mr Holmes. You're -- nicer."

• (Mycroft Holmes) "What's he doing? Why is he just wandering about like a fool?"
• (Lady Smallwood) "She died, Mycroft. He's probably still in shock."
• (Mycroft Holmes) "Everybody dies. It's the one thing human beings can be relied upon to do. How can it still come as a surprise to people?"

• (Unnamed) "Oh, big brother is watching you."
• (Sherlock Holmes) "Literally."

• (Sherlock Holmes) "You know, it's not my place to say, but it was just texting. People text. Even I text. Her, I mean. Woman. Bad idea. Try not to, but, you know, sometimes --"
• (Sherlock Holmes) "It's not a pleasant thought, John, but I have this terrible feeling from time to time that we might all just be human."
• (Dr. John Watson) "Even you?"
• (Sherlock Holmes) "No. Even you."

• (Dr. John Watson) "Is this a game? A bloody game."

• (Dr. John Watson) "I cheated on you, Mary. There was a woman on the bus, and I had a plastic daisy in my hair, I'd been playing with Rosie. And this girl just smiled at me. That's all it was, it was a smile. We texted, constantly. You want to know when? Every time you left the room; that's when. When you were feeding our daughter. When you were stopping her from crying; that's when. And that's all it was. Just texting. But I wanted more. And do you know something? I still do. I'm not the man you thought I was, I'm not that guy. I never could be. But that's the point."
• (Dr. John Watson) "That's the whole point. Who you thought I was -- is the man who I want to be."
• (Mary Watson) "Well then -- John Watson -- Get the hell on with it."

• (Cornelia) "The kids would love to meet you both. I think he's sort of promised."
• (Sherlock Holmes) "Oh, okay."

• (Sherlock Holmes) "As I think I have explained to you many times before, romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people --"
• (Dr. John Watson) "Would complete you as a human being."
• (Sherlock Holmes) "That doesn't even mean anything."
• (Dr. John Watson) "Just text her. Phone her, do something while there's still a chance. Because that chance doesn't last forever. Trust me, Sherlock, it's gone before you know it. Before you know it."

• (Culverton Smith) "Oh no, I'll lay it out for you. There are two possible explanations for what's going on here. Either I'm a serial killer, or Sherlock Holmes is off his tits on drugs. Hmm? Delusional paranoia about a-a public personality. That's not so special. It's not even new."
• (Culverton Smith) "I think you need to tell-tell your faithful little friend how you're wasting his time because you're too high to know what's real anymore."

• (Sherlock Holmes) "You're suicidal. You're allowed chips. Trust me. It's about the only perk."

• (Culverton Smith) "Murder is a very difficult addiction to manage. People don't realize how much work goes into it. You have to be careful. But if you're rich, or famous and loved, it's amazing what people are prepared to ignore. There's always someone desperate about to go missing, and no one wants to suspect murder if it's easier to suspect something else. I just have to ration myself, choose the right heart to stop."

• (Sherlock Holmes) "It's not a pleasant thought, John, but I have this terrible feeling from time to time that we might all just be human."
• (Dr. John Watson) "Even you?"
• (Sherlock Holmes) "No."
• (Sherlock Holmes) "Even you."

• (Therapist) "You are holding yourself to an unreasonable standard."
• (Dr. John Watson) "No, I'm failing to."

• (Culverton Smith) "What's the very worst thing you can do -- to your very best friends?"

• (Sherlock Holmes) "Why do you do it?"
• (Culverton Smith) "Why do I kill? It's not about hatred, or -- or revenge. I'm not a dark person. Killing human beings,"
• (Culverton Smith) "-- it just makes me -- Ah, incredibly happy. You know, in-in-in films, when you see dead people, pretending to be dead, and it's just living people lying down? Well, that's not what dead people look like. Dead people -- look like things. I like to make people into things. Then you can own them."

• (Eurus) "Oh. He's making a funny face -- I think I'll put a hole in it."

• (Culverton Smith) "What's the very worst thing you can do -- to your very best friends?"
• (Ivan) "Something on your mind?"
• (Culverton Smith) "Yes, Simon. Oh yes."
• (Ivan) "Whatever you tell us, stays in this room. I think I speak for everyone."
• (Faith) "Well, what is the worst thing you could do?"
• (Culverton Smith) "Tell them your darkest secret. Because -- if you tell them, and they decide they'd rather not know, you can't take it back. You can't unsay it. Once you've opened your heart, you can't close it again."

• (Mrs. Hudson) "He's not so difficult when you've got a gun on him."

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