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The Kentucky Fried Movie Quotes

The Kentucky Fried Movie is a television show that debuted in 1970 . The Kentucky Fried Movie ended in 1970.

It features Kim Jorgensen, Larry Kostroff, and Robert K. Weiss as producer, Igo Kantor in charge of musical score, and Robert E. Collins, and Stephen M. Katz as head of cinematography.

The Kentucky Fried Movie is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Kentucky Fried Movie is 83 minutes long. The Kentucky Fried Movie is distributed by United Film Distribution Company.

The Kentucky Fried Movie Quotes

  • (Henry Gibson) "In the past year, over 800,000 Americans have died. Despite millions of dollars of research, death continues to be our nation's number one killer."
  • (Hornung) "Mr. Grunwald, in addition to your occupation as a spoon, is it not true that you are a driving instructor?"
  • (Grunwald) "No."
  • (Hornung) "Then it is true."
  • (Grunwald) "Yes."
  • (Hornung) "That you're not a driving instructor?"
  • (Grunwald) "No."
  • (Hornung) "Your Honor, I object to this line of questioning."
  • (Judge) "Overruled."
  • (Hornung) "Very well, then; I'd like some time to go over my briefs."
  • (Judge) "Please."
  • (Hornung) "They're fine."
  • (Argon Spokesman) "At Argon, we're working to keep your money."
  • (A.M. Newscaster) "In the meantime this is A.M. Today. It's 18 minutes after the hour and time for our daily feature of debate: Count/Pointercount. Once again here are John Fitzsimmons and Sheila Hamilton."
  • (John Fitzsimmons) "Well Sheila, I guess even you and your liberal cronies have found the light at the end of the tunnel of love with our beloved president. The intellectuals have been much agitated and now, having gotten the presidency by exploiting the problems they themselves have manufactured, he has done his best to fuel their anxieties about him. Sheila, will you and your pack of bleeding heart liberals never learn that expanding welfare roles only accelerate inflation and inevitably hurt most those they purport to help?"
  • (Sheila Hamilton) "Why John, you old stick in the mud."
  • (Sheila Hamilton) "I've been listening to that horse shit of yours for months, and you can take that crap and blow it out your ass. And for good measure, sit on THIS,"
  • (Sheila Hamilton) "John."
  • (Announcer) "It's been said that the test of a man's courage is how he performs in the face of danger. Well, in the next half hour, you're gonna meet a very unique breed of cat. The kind of man who doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. Rex Kramer, part-time airline mechanic, full-time daredevil. A man willing to risk his life for the sake of adventure. He has to chase it, confront it, and whip it. Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker."
  • (Rex Kramer) "NIGGERS."
  • (Hornung) "Ms. Filagree, as a passenger in the Grunwald vehicle, can you identify the man driving the blue Buick?"
  • (Rita Filagree) "Yes."
  • (Hornung) "Is he in this courtroom right now?"
  • (Rita Filagree) "Yes."
  • (Hornung) "Would you kindly point him out to me, please?"
  • (Rita Filagree) "I can't do it, I just can't do it."
  • (Hornung) "Young lady, are you familiar with the penile codes in this state?"
  • (Narrator) "Brutal. Savage. Beyond Perversion."
  • (Loo) "You can always look for happiness, but there is really no need to look past your own front door. There are plenty of things that you can do right here in your own community. You can visit a dairy and see how milk is handled and prepared for delivery. Or plan a series of window displays on home safety. Or help start a library. Or discuss with your dentist what you can do to make your teeth more attractive."
  • (Pennington) "These are the Hartz Mountains of Asia. A terrain so rugged, so treacherous, no country will claim it."
  • (Asquith) "Worse then Detroit?"
  • (Pennington) "I'm afraid so."
  • (Narrator) "Never before has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited."
  • (Claude LaMont) "I live ze unknown, I love ze unknown, I am ze unknown."
  • (Paul Burmaster) "Claude, where are you living now?"
  • (Claude LaMont) "Zat -- is unknown. I don't know."
  • (Newscaster) "Rams plagued by fumbles as earthquakes rock Los Angeles. Film at eleven."
  • (Narrator) "If you were thrilled by "The Towering Inferno" -- if you were terrified by "Earthquake" -- then you will be SCARED SHITLESS at the Samuel L. Bronkowitz production of "That's Armageddon.""
  • (Dr. Klahn) "No. Not water. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ohhh. I'm melting. I'm melting. What a world, what a world. It was a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude."
  • (Unnamed) "One of the most frequent problems encountered during the sexual act is that of premature ejaculation."
  • (Unnamed) "Should premature ejaculation occur, the Joy of Sex album comes equipped with BIG JIM SLADE."
  • (Unnamed) "Big Jim, former tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs, is outfitted with various whips, chains, and a sexual appetite that will knock your socks off."
  • (Unnamed) "Big Jim has satisfied women throughout the world, and the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln."
  • (Dr. Klahn) "The CIA thinks they can infiltrate the Mountain of Dr. Klahn."
  • (CIA Agent) "You can't scare me, you slant-eyed yellow bastard."
  • (Dr. Klahn) "Take him to -- Detroit."
  • (CIA Agent) "No. No, not Detroit. No. No, please. Anything but that. No. No."
  • (Game Show Announcer) "Guard number one is a senior on Klahn's mountain, and aspires to be a research chemist. Welcome, please, Hung Well. Guard number two is a real skating buff. A warm welcome for Long Wang. Traveling comes naturally to guard number three, as he's a licensed airplane pilot. Welcome, please, Enormous Genitals."
  • (1st guest) "Fish for dinner last night?"
  • (2nd guest) "Phewww -- Harvey still smoking those cigars?"
  • (3rd guest) "CHRIST. Did a cow shit in here?"
  • (Loo) "And who are they?"
  • (Dr. Klahn) "Refuse, found in waterfront bars."
  • (Loo) "Shanghaied?"
  • (Dr. Klahn) "Just lost drunken men who don't know where they are and no longer care."
  • (Unnamed) "Where are we?"
  • (Unnamed) "I don't care."
  • (Loo) "And these?"
  • (Dr. Klahn) "These are lost drunken men who don't know where they are, but do care. And these are men who know where they are and care, but don't drink."
  • (Unnamed) "I don't know who I am."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah. and I don't drink."
  • (Dr. Klahn) "Guards."
  • (Dr. Klahn) "Do you care?"
  • (Unnamed) "No."
  • (Dr. Klahn) "Put this man in cell #1, and give him a drink."
  • (Guard) "What do you drink?"
  • (Unnamed) "I don't care."
  • (Pennington) "Klahn has been connected with every sort of nefarious activity. You name it; opium, weapons traffic, assassination, motion picture distribution --"
  • (Klahn) "Now take him to be tortured."
  • (Loo) "What was that? This is not a chawade. We need total concentwation."
  • (A.M. Newscaster) "It's 19 minutes after the hour, and now it's time for our daily feature The Astrological Hour. A quick reminder: these reports are not intended to foster belief in astrology, but merely to support people who cannot take responsibility for their own lives."
  • (Henry Gibson) "Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death: one, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness."
  • (Pennington) "This is Butkus, Klahn's bodyguard. He is tough and ruthless. This is Kwong, Klahn's chauffeur. He is rough and toothless."
  • (Newscaster) "Moscow in flames, missiles headed toward New York. Film at eleven."
  • (Newscaster) "The popcorn you are eating has been pissed in. Film at eleven."
  • (Narrator) "More offensive than "Mandingo". More shocking than "Behind the Green Door". More erotic than "Deep Throat". You will cream in your jeans when you see "Catholic High School Girls in Trouble"."
  • (The Architect) "I tell you this building is unsafe."

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