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The Joe Schmo Show Quotes

The Joe Schmo Show is a Hoaxes that first aired in 1970 on Spike (TV network). The Joe Schmo Show completed its run in 2013.

The Joe Schmo Show was on for 3 seasons and 29 episodes. The Joe Schmo Show is executive produced by J. Holland Moore. The Joe Schmo Show is created by Paul Wernick.

The Joe Schmo Show is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Joe Schmo Show is 60 minutes long. The Joe Schmo Show is produced by Reese Wernick Productions.

The Joe Schmo Show Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "Well everyone, the original version of Last Chance for Love was actually done in England with myself as host. And we had many popular games we played on that show like, "Tally ho, ho, ho", "Who's in the loo?", and "Carton of Fags". We're now about to play my favorite of all the games, "Bangers and Mash"."
  • (Unnamed) "Mockingbird. Mockingbird. Mockingbird."
  • (Unnamed) "What would you do if your entire world turned out to be fake? If an army of writers, producers and actors spent over a year creating TV's most elaborate experiment around YOU? If they plotted your every move, recorded it 24 hours a day, and put it on National Television? Well, that's EXACTLY what happened to THIS guy. Meet Matt Kennedy Gould: One real guy competing for $100,000 on a reality show that HE doesn't know -- is FAKE. Starring nine actors: Melissa Yvonne Lewis as Ashleigh, the Rich Bitch; David Hornsby as Hutch, the Asshole; Angela Dodson as Molly, the Virgin; Franklin Jones as Earl, the Veteran; Nikki Davis as Gina, the Schemer; Lance Krall as Kip, the Gay Guy; Brian Keith Etheridge as Brian, the Buddy; Kristen Wiig as Dr. Pat, the Quack, and me, Ralph Garman as the Smarmy Host. All performing for the one guy who thinks it's real."
  • (Unnamed) "This place is f in' starting to drive me crazy."
  • (Unnamed) "This is "The Joe Schmo Show.""
  • (Unnamed) "To add insult to injury, he pulls out the oil. Like,"
  • (Unnamed) "Dude, to really --"
  • (Unnamed) "Jesus, to really get the juices flowing, that's what you need: hot oil on jungle rot, okay."
  • (Unnamed) "One of you is about to say goodbye to high society, and return to your sad existence of working for the man."
  • (Unnamed) "Cammy, can I give you a pearl necklace?"
  • (Unnamed) "I would love a pearl necklace."
  • (Unnamed) "I can say quite honestly there is nothing in this world I would rather have than a pearl necklace from you."
  • (Unnamed) "This ought to scare the living daylights out of you. Love is as precious as a diamond. And as we all know, diamonds are forever. But love sometimes is not. Tonight, fate will point its gold finger at two of you, you'll be evicted. That's right, we'll be having a "Pearl Necklace" and "Flame-of-love" eviction ceremony tonight. If Austin and Piper choose to sever their emotional bond with you, the world is not enough to save you. The rest of you will have a chance to die another day."
  • (Unnamed) "Austin, you may now present your black balls."
  • (Unnamed) "He wasn't a frog he was a fucking human being."
  • (Unnamed) "I want to bend you over the desk right now."
  • (Unnamed) "That's T.J.."
  • (Unnamed) "The sack is right in front of your face. Just put your face in that sack and eat away."
  • (Unnamed) "Piper, put your face"
  • (Unnamed) "in the sack."
  • (Unnamed) "I can reach places in her you can never touch"

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