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The Heartbreak Kid (2007 film) Quotes

The Heartbreak Kid (2007 film) is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . The Heartbreak Kid ended its run in 1970.

It features Ted Field as producer, Bill Ryan in charge of musical score, and Matthew F. Leonetti as head of cinematography.

The Heartbreak Kid (2007 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Heartbreak Kid (2007 film) is 116 minutes long. The Heartbreak Kid (2007 film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Jerry Stiller as Doc, Ben Stiller as Eddie Cantrow, Malin Åkerman as Lila, Rob Corddry as Mac, Danny McBride as Martin, Carlos Mencia as Tito, Roy Jenkins as Buzz, Stephanie Courtney as Gayla, Michelle Monaghan as Miranda, and Amy Sloan as Deborah.

The Heartbreak Kid (2007 film) Quotes

Ben Stiller as Eddie Cantrow

  • (Ben Stiller) "I love sports. In fact, I even lost my virginity on a baseball diamond."
  • (Roy Jenkins) "Oh, you're too much. Really?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yeah, yeah. A couple of the older kids pushed down and;"
  • (Ben Stiller) "It was not pretty."
  • (Stephanie Courtney) "Did you file charges?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "No, I --"
  • (Michelle Monaghan) "He was making a joke, Gayla."
  • (Amy Sloan) "About anal rape?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "You're in debt? What kind of debt?"
  • (Malin Åkerman) "You know, the kind where you owe a lot of money to people."
  • (Ben Stiller) "She doesn't have a great sense of humor."
  • (Jerry Stiller) "Are you out of your mind? Funny's a male gene, you idiot. Haven't you ever noticed whenever you see a really funny girl, she's a little mannish? Think about it. Lily Tomlin, Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell --"
  • (Rob Corddry) "Oh, I got a thing for Ellen DeGeneres though. I do, I have to admit it. I think she's great, I think she's hot. Great ass. Check it out."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Hey, uh, do you think you could tell me where I could find Uncle Tito?"
  • (Carlos Mencia) "Yes. Uh, may I ask who's inquiring?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yeah, my name's Eddie Cantrow and I'm a friend of a friend of his. I'm supposed to give him something."
  • (Carlos Mencia) "I'm sorry to tell you this, but he no longer works here. He's actually in jail, serving six to ten years. He was caught having cock-fights. And I'm not speaking about the kind of rooster."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Oh."
  • (Carlos Mencia) "Screw off. I'm joking, man. C'mon. I am Uncle Tito."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Oh, excuse me."
  • (Flamboyant Man) "Yeah."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Hey, are you running this whole thing?"
  • (Flamboyant Man) "Oh. Sure. Walk up to the first homo you see and assume he's the wedding coordinator, right? Nice."
  • (Ben Stiller) "No, no. I didn't; I didn't mean that."
  • (Flamboyant Man) "Nice stereotype, buddy. Nice."
  • (Wedding Coordinator) "Did I hear someone say "wedding coordinator"? That would be moi."
  • (Wedding Coordinator) "How can I help you?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "This is my dad."
  • (Malin Åkerman) "Oh, hi Dad."
  • (Jerry Stiller) "Nice to meet you, Lila."
  • (Malin Åkerman) "How do you know my name?"
  • (Jerry Stiller) "Okay, cat's out of the bag. My son found your panties on the sidewalk and we've been talking about you all week. Eddie, give her back her undies."
  • (Ben Stiller) "You know what? Why don't you take your little Human Genome Project and hit the road. Homophobic hobbits."
  • (Ben Stiller) "f*** me."
  • (10 Year Old Girl) "Are you like a widow or something?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yeah, I'm a widow. Yeah."
  • (10 Year Old Girl) "Sorry."
  • (12 Year Old Twin) "He's full of it. He's gay."
  • (Ben Stiller) "No. I'm not gay."
  • (12 Year Old Twin) "Let's play 5 in 5 then."
  • (Ben Stiller) "What is that?"
  • (12 Year Old Twin) "It's where I ask you 5 questions in 5 seconds. If you're telling the truth, then you shouldn't have to think."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yeah, I don't wanna play your game, sorry."
  • (12 Year Old Twin) "Quick; how'd your wife die?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Murdered."
  • (12 Year Old Twin) "How?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Icepick."
  • (12 Year Old Twin) "They get the guy?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yeah."
  • (12 Year Old Twin) "What was his name?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ronald."
  • (12 Year Old Twin) "Brad Pitt. Russell Crowe. Who's hotter?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Brad Pitt."
  • (Ben Stiller) "No no, no, I thought you meant who's hotter career-wise --"

Danny McBride as Martin

  • (Danny McBride) "I smell something weird down here. Smells like ya'll been hitting the Devil's lettuce."
  • (Danny McBride) "Miranda, we are ready to play parcheesi."

Malin Åkerman as Lila

  • (Malin Åkerman) "I wouldn't change a darn thing because it made me who I am today, and do you know who I am today?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Who are you."
  • (Malin Åkerman) "I'm Mrs. Edmond Cantrow."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Edward."
  • (Malin Åkerman) "Edward? You didn't tell me that."
  • (Malin Åkerman) "f*** me like a black guy, Eddie, come on."

Carlos Mencia as Tito

  • (Carlos Mencia) "Screw off. I'm joking, man."
  • (Carlos Mencia) "Eddie, What are you doing?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I'm just hanging with my brother, My brother Manuel."
  • (Carlos Mencia) "Eddie, People are looking for you ah. Your father keeps calling, And The Mac is trying to track you down. And what I supposed to tell the American girl -- The -- Miranda? What do I tell her?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Miranda?"
  • (Carlos Mencia) "Yes, Her family flew home, But she didn't. And she's been everywhere searching for you."
  • (Ben Stiller) "She Has?"
  • (Carlos Mencia) "Screw off. I'm joking man. That chick run for the hills. You should seen your face. You were so happy for a moment, You were like ha. I can't believe I got you again."

Jerry Stiller as Doc

  • (Jerry Stiller) "Come on, kid, let's get out of here. Bitches be crazy, you know that."
  • (Jerry Stiller) "So, what's new Eddie? Anything exciting?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ah, yeah, we just got those new Nike Sasquatch drivers in the store, so that's been kind of cool."
  • (Jerry Stiller) "Let me rephrase the question. You been crushin' any p*****?"
  • (Jerry Stiller) "Remember, this is the Bible Belt. These people have guns."
  • (Jerry Stiller) "Now listen to me and listen to me good. When your wife, on her honeymoon, asks you to cock her, you cock her good, God damn it."

Rob Corddry as Mac

  • (Rob Corddry) "Look, you want to know the secret to a happy marriage? Do what I do. Plaster on a fake smile, plow through the next half century, sit back, relax, and wait for the sweet embrace of death."

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