The Great Muppet Caper Quotes

The Great Muppet Caper is a television program that first aired in 1970 . The Great Muppet Caper stopped airing in 1970.

It features David Lazer, and Frank Oz as producer, Joe Raposo in charge of musical score, and Oswald Morris as head of cinematography.

The Great Muppet Caper is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom, and United States. Each episode of The Great Muppet Caper is 97 minutes long. The Great Muppet Caper is distributed by Universal Picturesefn and The film's distribution rights were purchased by The Jim Henson Company from ITC Entertainment in August 1984..

The cast includes: Jim Henson as Kermit, Frank Oz as Miss Piggy, Diana Rigg as Lady Holiday, Charles Grodin as Nicky Holiday, Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Peter Hughes as Statler, Kate Howard as Carla, Jerry Nelson as Floyd, Joan Sanderson as Dorcas, John Cleese as Neville, Richard Hunt as Zoot, and Richard Hunt as Scooter.

The Great Muppet Caper Quotes

Jim Henson as Kermit

• (Jim Henson) "Someone's coming."
• (Fozzie) "Oh, maybe they're bringing hamburgers."

• (Beauregard) "Takes awhile to get to know the town."
• (Fozzie) "How long have you lived in London?"
• (Beauregard) "All my life."
• (Jim Henson) "How come you don't have an English accent?"
• (Beauregard) "Hey, I'm lucky to have a driver's license."

• (Jim Henson) "Now, we're about to embark on a potentially dangerous mission. There could be physical violence, there could be gunplay, and there is the slightest chance that somebody might even get killed. So if anybody wants out, now is the time to say it."
• (Jerry Nelson) "I'm out."
• (Rowlf) "Me too."
• (Dr. Bunsen Honeydew) "Ditto."
• (Beaker) "Meep meep."
• (Richard Hunt) "Hey, don't we have a gig around here, or something, or somewhere?"
• (Pops) "Sorry, I got a dental appointment."
• (Janice) "It's like this, Kermit, I have to go to work all day --"
• (Fozzie) "Hold it."
• (Fozzie) "Shame on you. I thought we were in this thing together. I'm just as scared as you are, but this has to be done. We don't want the bad guys to win. We gotta do this f-f-for justice. For freedom. For honesty."

• (Jim Henson) "I think I'll read for a while."
• (Jim Henson) "Uh, I wish I had a book."

• (Jim Henson) "We're going to catch those crooks red-handed."
• (Jim Henson) "Yes, Bo?"
• (Beauregard) "What color are their hands now?"

• (Jim Henson) "Uh, taxi. Taxi."
• (Jim Henson) "I don't know why the cabs won't stop."
• (Dave Goelz) "Just leave it to me."
• (Dave Goelz) "Taxi."
• (Fozzie) "Aaaaahhh."
• (Jim Henson) "Uh, that's very effective."
• (Dave Goelz) "Yeah, it's great when it works."

• (Jim Henson) "Pretty nice up here, isn't it?"
• (Fozzie) "Kermit? What if we drift out to sea? What if we're never heard from again? What if there's a storm? Or; we get struck by lightning?"
• (Dave Goelz) "That'd be neat."
• (Jim Henson) "Listen, nothing's gonna happen. These are just the opening credits."
• (Fozzie) "Oh. Where are they?"
• (Fozzie) "Wow."
• (Jim Henson) "The Great Muppet Caper."
• (Fozzie) "Nice title."

• (Jim Henson) "What's wrong with the drummer? He looks a little crazed."
• (Richard Hunt) "Oh, he's just upset about missing the Rembrandt exhibit at the National Gallery."
• (Animal) "RENOIR."

• (Jim Henson) "How do we get in?"
• (Fozzie) "I suggest we ring the door bell."

• (Unnamed) "All out for the USA."
• (Jim Henson) "Great. How close are we?"
• (Unnamed) "About 30,000 feet."
• (Jim Henson) "You mean --"
• (Unnamed) "Yep, happy landings."

• (News Editor) "Did you read these headlines? Huh?"
• (News Editor) ""JEWEL HEIST ON MAIN STREET." And it's nice bold print, isn't it?"
• (Jim Henson) "Yes, it's very easy to read."
• (News Editor) "Shut up now."
• (Jim Henson) "Sorry."
• (News Editor) ""Lady Holiday's Jewels Stolen," that's what it says in The Times. And here's The Herald, "Fashion Queen Of London Robbed." And last, but not least"
• (News Editor) "here's our cute little banner story, "Identical Twins Join The Chronicle Staff." Now I ask you, which would you buy?"
• (Fozzie) "I read the one that has "Dear Abby"."
• (News Editor) "OH."

• (Jim Henson) "Could somebody turn out the light?"
• (Jim Henson) "Thank you."

• (Fozzie) "What does "BSC" stand for?"
• (Jim Henson) "I don't know."

• (Jim Henson) "Quiet."
• (Janice) "Look, Mother. It's my life, okay? So if I want to live on a beach and walk around naked -- Oh."

• (Jim Henson) "Fozzie, this is all very embarrassing."
• (Fozzie) "Don't worry Kermit, it won't leave this room."
• (The Muppet Newsman) "Here is a Muppet newsflash. Kermit the Frog to date Lady Holiday. Details at 11."

• (Fozzie) "Nobody reads those names anyway, do they?"
• (Jim Henson) "Sure. They all have families."

• (Unnamed) "All out for England."
• (Jim Henson) "Oh, great. The plane is landing."
• (Unnamed) "The plane? No, the plane lands in Italy. You land in England."

• (Pops) "Hey, how're you guys fixin' to pay?"
• (Jim Henson) "What are our choices?"
• (Pops) "A: Credit card; B: Cash; C: Sneak out in the middle of the night."
• (Fozzie) "We'll take C."
• (Pops) "Very popular choice."

• (Fozzie) "Kermit, are bears allowed in those fountains?"
• (Jim Henson) "What?"
• (Fozzie) "Are bears allowed in those fountains?"
• (Jim Henson) "No, I don't think so."
• (Fozzie) "I need a bath."

• (Jim Henson) "How are we supposed to cut through the bars if nobody brought stuff to cut with?"
• (Jerry Nelson) "I brought some hot mustard, maybe that will eat through the bars."

• (Jim Henson) "I hate to be rude, but we're trying to do a movie here."

• (British Gentleman) "For once the forecast was right. It said it was going to rain cats and dogs."
• (Jim Henson) "No, no. We're bears and frogs."
• (Dave Goelz) "And Gonzos."

• (Jim Henson) "We were wondering if you could recommend a nice hotel. Actually, a cheap hotel."
• (British Gentleman) "How cheap?"
• (Fozzie) "Free."
• (British Gentleman) "Well, that narrows the field a bit."
• (British Gentleman) "Let's see. "Places where you can park your carcasses." Bus terminals -- River banks -- The Happiness Hotel --"
• (Jim Henson) "Happiness Hotel? That sounds great."
• (Dave Goelz) "What's wrong with bus terminals?"

• (Pops) "Hey. What's goin' on in there? Lotta folks out here need to use the restroom."
• (Jim Henson) "Well, we're developing these pictures, we'll be out as soon as we finish. We're trying to catch a jewel thief."
• (Fozzie) "A jewel thief."
• (Pops) "Well, catch him in another room, people are dancing up and down on one leg out here."

• (Jim Henson) "But -- Nicky, why are you doing this?"
• (Charles Grodin) "Why am I doing this? Because I'm a villain. It's pure and simple."

• (Jim Henson) "Excuse me."
• (Pops) "What?"
• (Jim Henson) "We'd like a room."
• (Pops) "Really?"
• (Jim Henson) "Yeah, we'd like to check in."
• (Pops) "Somebody's checking in."
• (Unnamed) "SOMEBODY'S CHECKING IN?"

• (Fozzie) "We'll do better next time."
• (News Editor) "Next time? Next time."
• (News Editor) "What makes you think there's gonna be a next time?"
• (Jim Henson) "Well, if there isn't it's gonna be a real short movie."

Diana Rigg as Lady Holiday

• (Diana Rigg) "Nicky, that's my new secretary dancing out there."
• (Charles Grodin) "Which one?"
• (Diana Rigg) "The pig."

• (Diana Rigg) "Carla, the neckline on that gown is too high, don't you think?"
• (Kate Howard) "I rather like the effect."
• (Diana Rigg) "You like looking like an ostrich?"
• (Kate Howard) "Of course not, Lady Holiday."
• (Diana Rigg) "And Marla. Too many frills and furbelows, I don't think we should strive for the fan-tailed pigeon look, do you? And you, Darla, that outfit's the pits. Loose where it should be tight and tight where it should be loose, like the folds on a turkey's neck. Why would I design such atrocious looking clothes?"
• (Diana Rigg) "I must be getting senile."
• (Unnamed) "Yes, Lady Holiday?"
• (Diana Rigg) "We have to make drastic changes in the new line before the show tomorrow, all my girls are going around looking like barnyard animals."
• (Frank Oz) "Ahem."
• (Diana Rigg) "Good heavens, who are you?"
• (Frank Oz) "My name is Miss Piggy, and I would like to be a high-fashion model."
• (Diana Rigg) "Doesn't surprise me. Seems to be the way we're headed."

• (Diana Rigg) "I have grave doubts about wearing these jewels. I feel as if thieves are breathing down my neck."
• (Charles Grodin) "Thieves aren't breathing down your neck."

• (Diana Rigg) "Give Stanley a tip, Nicky."
• (Charles Grodin) "For complimenting you on your necklace?"
• (Diana Rigg) "No, because it's customary."
• (Charles Grodin) "I haven't any change."
• (Diana Rigg) "Then give him something bigger."
• (Charles Grodin) "Bigger ? I left my wallet at home."
• (Diana Rigg) "You left your wallet in college."

Dave Goelz as Gonzo

• (Dave Goelz) "Gee, a lot of people worked on this movie."
• (Jim Henson) "Oh, this is nothing. Wait till you see the end credits."

• (Dave Goelz) "Hubba hubba."

• (Dave Goelz) "Is that the Eiffel Tower?"
• (Fozzie) "Yeah."
• (Jim Henson) "No."
• (Fozzie) "No. No."

• (Fozzie) "Hey, Kermit, I'm getting hungry."
• (Dave Goelz) "Call room service."
• (Jim Henson) "There's no phone."
• (Rizzo the Rat) "That's OK, there's no food, either."

• (Fozzie) "Oh, did I get my elbow in the shot?"
• (Dave Goelz) "Don't worry; it adds human interest."
• (Fozzie) "But I'm a bear."

• (Dave Goelz) "What's the name of this river?"
• (Jim Henson) "I don't know."
• (Fozzie) "I think it's the English river."
• (Dave Goelz) "Oh. I'll take a picture of it. Say cheese."

• (Dave Goelz) "I wonder how far you could plummet before you blacked out."
• (Jim Henson) "Uh, don't try it, Gonzo. We need you for this movie."
• (Dave Goelz) "Sure is tempting."

• (Dave Goelz) "Stop the presses."
• (News Editor) "Why? What happened?"
• (Dave Goelz) "I don't know. I just always wanted to say that."

Jerry Nelson as Floyd

• (Fozzie) "Peanut butter?"
• (Jerry Nelson) "Animal ate it."
• (Animal) "Sorry."

Richard Hunt as Scooter

• (Fozzie) "Wax lips?"
• (Richard Hunt) "Aw man, I just had 'em."
• (Dr. Teeth) "Did you leave 'em in your other pants?"
• (Richard Hunt) "I don't have no other pants."
• (Fozzie) "Yo-yo?"
• (Janice) "Fer sure."

Charles Grodin as Nicky Holiday

• (Charles Grodin) "What do you want me to do? I just spilled ketchup all over my cummerbund."

Joan Sanderson as Dorcas

• (Joan Sanderson) "What would you buy if you were bored?"
• (John Cleese) "Uh -- a jar of calf's foot jelly."

Frank Oz as Miss Piggy

• (Frank Oz) "Adios, mon cherie."

• (Frank Oz) "Why are you telling me all this?"
• (Diana Rigg) "It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere."

• (Frank Oz) "Well, what a delightful menu."
• (Frank Oz) "What?"
• (Jim Henson) "Oh, hah, nothing, it's just sort of amusing that the roast beef is the same price as an Oldsmobile."

• (Prison Guard) "Miss Piggy."
• (Frank Oz) "What?"
• (Prison Guard) "Your lawyer is here to see you."
• (Frank Oz) "Lawyer? I don't have a lawyer."
• (Prison Guard) "Och, sure you do. Little green guy."
• (Frank Oz) "Kermie. Oh. No wonder he hasn't come by to see me. He had to finish law school."

• (Frank Oz) "Well, as you can see from this small sampling, modeling is my life. It is my destiny, I shall accept nothing less."
• (Diana Rigg) "I can offer you a job as a receptionist."
• (Frank Oz) "AAAAAAAHHHHH. I'll take it. I'll take it. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, you won't be sorry, I promise. I can type, I can take shorthand, I can make coffee, I can do it all."
• (Diana Rigg) "Sit."
• (Frank Oz) "I can sit. I'm very good at sitting."

• (Frank Oz) "Oh, Kermy. Oh, I've missed you so."
• (Jim Henson) "Please, the name is Rosenthal."
• (Jim Henson) "I'm your attorney, that's the only way they'd let me in here."
• (Frank Oz) "Oh, right. Oh, I've missed you so -- Rosenthal. It's been an eternity."
• (Jim Henson) "It's been forty-five minutes."
• (Frank Oz) "Time goes slow in the cooler."

• (Frank Oz) "What am I? A glutton for punishment?"

Peter Hughes as Statler

• (Peter Hughes) "Hey, Waldorf. Wake up. Here come the bikinis."
• (Waldorf) "Oh, boy. We better synchronize our pacemakers."

• (Peter Hughes) "I guess all's well that ends well."
• (Waldorf) "Doesn't matter to me, as long as it ends."

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