The Dictator (2012 film) Quotes

The Dictator (2012 film) is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . The Dictator ended its run in 1970.

It features Sacha Baron Cohen; Alec Berg, Anthony Hines, David Mandel; Scott Rudin; Jeff Schaffer, and Todd Schulman as producer, Erran Baron Cohen in charge of musical score, and Lawrence Sher as head of cinematography.

The Dictator (2012 film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Sacha Baron Cohen as General Aladeen, Aasif Mandvi as Doctor, Rizwan Manji as Patient, Jason Mantzoukas as Nadal, Kevin Corrigan as Slade, Anna Faris as Zoey, Kathryn Hahn as Pregnant Woman, and John C. Reilly as Clayton.

The Dictator (2012 film) Quotes

Sacha Baron Cohen as General Aladeen

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Hey let's go, I don't want to miss the finale of the Real Housewives Of Jahalavakalinda."

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Oh it's a girl. I'm so sorry. Where's the trashcan?"

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Are you having a boy or an abortion?"

• (Megan Fox) "Katy Perry said she got a diamond Rolex."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Well, she let me aladeen in her face."

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Is there any way you could lend me some money? Maybe -- 20 million dollars?"

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Sub Saharan, can you have 150 child warriors here by 5:00pm?"

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "See? This is what happens when you set the safety switch to Aladeen instead of to Aladeen."

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Hey average American shopper. If you give me your clothes I will make a sizable donation in your name to Al Qaeda."

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "People of Wadiya. I come here before you to tell the world that they shall bow down before our mighty nation. We are two months away from enriching weapons grade uranium."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "To be used for peaceful --"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "purposes. It will be used for medical research and clean energy, it will. And it will certainly never be used to attack Isr --"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Oh boy."

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "$20 a day for the internet? What the f***. And they accuse me of being an international criminal?"

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "I love being an Americans. America is number one. Oh, I am from U.S.A.. My father also from U.S.A.. My great-grandfather fought in the American Civil Jihad. I am very proud to be an American. I am America's number one douche."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "I've fooled them. Job done."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "So, how are things back at the Palace?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Fine, but guess who's still living in my guest house?"
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Ooh, Bin Laden?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Yes, Osama. Bin Laden flooding the bathroom every time he showers -- And how hard is it to put a bath mat down, Bin Laden?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Hey, do you remember my favorite sports car?"
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "You mean your Porsche?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Yes -- the 911."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "911, it's the best."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "So I was driving the 911 near the Palace one day --"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "and I totally crashed."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "It's okay, I've already ordered a new one. A brand new 911 2012."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "You know, while you are here, you should try to see some of the sights such as the Empire State Building and Yankee Stadium."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "And I'd love to see the fireworks over the Statue of Liberty."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Hey, have your old back problems been bothering you?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Oh, it's been terrible. It got so bad that I made myself a back brace."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Really?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Yes, look, I'm still wearing it."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Hey, my English is getting good. I bet I can count down from five faster than you can."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Five, four, three, two, one."

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "From the mountain tops of North Korea to the jungles of Zimbabwe, let every child labourer and sweat shop factory worker sing -- Oppressed at last. Oppressed at last. Thank Aladeen, I am oppressed at last."

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Give a man a vagina and he will shpichs for a day. Teach a man to use his hand as a vagina, and he will shpichs for a lifetime."

• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Have you consulted Professor Bobeye about this?"
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Professor who?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Bobeye. He is the one whose forearms are very large in proportion to his body."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "I believe his name is Popeye."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Bobeye."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Popeye. And he is not a professor. He is, as the song says, a sailor man."

Anna Faris as Zoey

• (Anna Faris) "And I know this because I majored in Fem Lit."

• (Anna Faris) "Is it a crime to be proud of your job?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Actually in Wadiya it's a capital offense."

• (Anna Faris) "The police here are such fascists."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Yeah right, and not in a good way."

• (Anna Faris) "This is my store. This is a free earth collective. We are a vegan, feminist, non-profit cooperative operating within an anti-racist, anti-oppressive framework for people of all or no genders."

Jason Mantzoukas as Nadal

• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Here's the plan: We're going to take this helicopter tour and fly over the Lancaster to spot its weaknesses. Remember, we're just two ordinary American tourists looking at the sights."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Don't worry, nobody gonna suspect anything. It's a great plan, pointy."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Don't do anything to arouse any suspicions."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Don't worry, I am Wadiya's number one actor. You don't win four Wadiyan Golden Globes for nothing."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Yes you do, because you gave them to yourself."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "My performance in 'Aladeen Jones and the Temple of Doom' was outstanding."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "I gave it thumbs down."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Have you seen 'You've Got Mail Bomb'?"
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Yes, I've seen them all. They're all terrible movies. Listen to me, okay? You are a terrible actor. I urge you, right now, keep your performance small and real."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "All right. Can you get me a cloak?"
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Why?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Because I think my guy would be wearing a cloak."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "No. Your guy wears an American flag sweatsuit and a sheriff's badge."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "I need the sheriff's badge."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "For what? You're the sheriff of American douche-town."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "That's rude."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Listen: We're going to walk over there, act very inconspicuous."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Okay, no problem."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "This has to work."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Don't worry, just relax."

• (Jason Mantzoukas) "I am a mac genius."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "So what do you do?"
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Mostly I clean semen out of laptops."

• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Are you okay?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "My guy has a limp. I fell off me horse at the old Bull & Bush Pub because I'm a cockney."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Listen, listen, okay? You need to focus up right now and be prepared to deliver a small, subtle performance."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Okay, great, okay."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Okay, good."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Okay, so when we go to fly --"
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Don't do that with your eyes. You can't be a Chinese person on this thing, okay?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "I'm not Chink, I'm Chinese-American."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "No, but you cannot hold your eyes. Nobody is going to think you're Chinese-American because you hold your eyes like that. It's racist, what you're doing."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Do you know it's a fact that they cannot pronounce their R's? They pronounce them as L's. So instead you know what 'rabbit' is in Chinese?"
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "I don't know how to speak Chinese."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "It's 'labbit'."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "It's not 'labbit'."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Yes. 'Who Shot Loger Labbit' was a huge hit in China."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Nobody -- It's stup -- All right, I don't care. This is stupid, okay?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Okay, I'll do Filipino. I like to work, I like to talk."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "I like the s***, I do the kids."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Stop that. Your Filipino is the same as your Chinese."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Now who's being a lacist? You're being lacist now."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "I'm not being racist. Right now, we have to get on this helicopter and we have to act like true Americans."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "I guess you don't want me to play black, then."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Of course, I don't want you to play black."
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "Okay, just throwing it out there."
• (Jason Mantzoukas) "Okay. Don't."

Kathryn Hahn as Pregnant Woman

• (Kathryn Hahn) "Stop talking to my vagina."

• (Kathryn Hahn) "You two make a cute couple. But could you do this later? When you're not elbow deep in my p*****."

Kevin Corrigan as Slade

• (Kevin Corrigan) "Who the f*** are you? Osama Bin Laden's best friend?"
• (Sacha Baron Cohen) "No, he is NOT my best friend. Although he has been staying in my guest bedroom ever since they shot his double last year. Now the guy won't leave. I now know why this guy is the most hated man in the world. You just have to go to the bathroom after him. You go to the bathroom after Osama, you will realize the true meaning of terrorism."

Aasif Mandvi as Doctor

• (Aasif Mandvi) "Do you want the Aladeen news or the Aladeen news?"
• (Rizwan Manji) "The Aladeen news?"
• (Aasif Mandvi) "You're HIV-Aladeen."

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