The Celebrity Apprentice Quotes

The Celebrity Apprentice is a Reality competition.2Fgame shows that first aired in 2008 on NBC. The Celebrity Apprentice stopped airing in 2017.

The Celebrity Apprentice lasted 8 seasons and 90 episodes. It features Mark Burnett, Donald Trump, and Arnold Schwarzenegger as producer, and Kenneth Gamble, Leon Huff, and Anthony Jackson as theme composer. The Celebrity Apprentice is created by Mark Burnett.

The Celebrity Apprentice is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Celebrity Apprentice is 60 minutes (season 1) long. The Celebrity Apprentice is produced by Trump Productions and distributed by FremantleMedia.

The Celebrity Apprentice Quotes

• (Unnamed) "Did you think Jessica was very beautiful?"
• (Unnamed) "She's a pretty girl."
• (Unnamed) "Pretty, or beautiful? I thought she was beautiful --"
• (Unnamed) "She's beautiful. Come on."
• (Unnamed) "A beautiful girl. We can all agree on that."
• (Unnamed) "George, I'm not asking you. What the hell do I have to hear about you for? I don't need to hear your answers."

• (Unnamed) "That was good, right?"
• (Unnamed) "Yeah --"
• (Unnamed) "I loved it."
• (Unnamed) "All right."

• (Unnamed) "Omarosa, I didn't call for you yet."

• (Unnamed) "So, you know Tiger Woods? I know you've played with him before. I mean, could you guys get, like, a round together and maybe fill it out with another couple?"
• (Unnamed) "You; what have you been drinkin' tonight?"
• (Unnamed) "What are you talkin' about?"
• (Unnamed) "That's shooting high."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah?"
• (Unnamed) "Um, I can't get Tiger Woods these days to do my own talk show, not to mention play golf."
• (Unnamed) "But he loves golf, and so do you, so you can go out and have some fun."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, I know, it sounds simple, but he's, uh, he's very busy -- Let's shelve the golf thing for a minute. Is there another sort of -- thing that you might have thought of that I could offer?"
• (Unnamed) "Like flying away with you somewhere for a romantic weekend?"
• (Unnamed) "Boy, you are really shooting for the fence, aren't you? I can't even do that on my own time. Not to mention with a perfect stranger."
• (Unnamed) "Really? Get a life."
• (Unnamed) "-- How 'bout, like; going back to the golf thing for just a second; like, a celebrity and you, so we don't know who this other celebrity is yet."
• (Unnamed) "Let's stick to this Z100 thing. I think that's a good idea."

• (Unnamed) "You have some serious bling on your hands. What's going on there?"

• (Unnamed) "How many times do you get to see gay guys bowling?"

• (Unnamed) "I'm gonna sell the frog smoking opium."

• (Unnamed) "There's a bedroom in there, dude. You better put that to use. You got this beautiful girl all over you and you're not doing anything? They're gonna think you're a little sweet, you know what I mean? Not that there's anything wrong with that."

• (Unnamed) "Ooh, she's mad as a wet hen."

• (Unnamed) "Someone comes into your house, you got a toilet tank here."
• (Potential Buyer) "-- So, you're supposed to put this over a toilet?"
• (Meghan Boody (artist)) "-- This is a cast-iron fireplace cover."
• (Unnamed) "So what, I made a mistake? I didn't know. I'm gonna sell it as a toilet bowl. It looked like a damn toilet bowl to me."

• (Unnamed) "For someone who is supposed to be such a successful salesman, Nick had absolutely no rapport with any of his customers."

• (Unnamed) "The only reason why Katrina's gone --"
• (Unnamed) "You like her 'cause she's your girlfriend?"
• (Unnamed) "No, no no no -- if she had taken more of a leadership role, I would've put her in that hot seat. She wasn't the one taking the leadership role."
• (Unnamed) "I think that's an excuse."
• (Unnamed) "Wait a minute. You're saying because she didn't take a leadership role, she's gone, and she's now in this beautiful suite overlooking the world?"

• (Unnamed) "What about getting costumes? -- We could all dress up in different Disney characters or whatever it is, and -- it's a shtick."
• (Unnamed) "I told you: Ben Affleck, Sharon Stone."

• (Unnamed) "I take solace in the fact that I have a higher IQ than the other fifteen contestants, which just goes to show you that there's little correlation between IQ and success in lemonade sales."

• (Unnamed) "So, Amy, how does it feel to finally be on a losing team?"

• (Unnamed) "That is like calling the kettle black."
• (Unnamed) "See, there you go with your racist terms. What was that you said about black people?"

• (Unnamed) "May the best man win."
• (Unnamed) "I think we already have."

• (Unnamed) "Mr. Trump came in yesterday to the suite where I'm staying, and he shook my hand. Basically, I think now that I've been fired, I realize he was saying, "Win this, Sam. Win this. Because if you win this, I believe in you. I believe in you, I believe in you. But if you lose this, there's no way I can keep you on. You've shown me in so many different ways that there's just no way I can keep you on. ""

• (Unnamed) "It's a little bit like: watch somebody sell their used car and not wash it. You can spend $10 washing the car and get another $200 for the car. And I've seen guys, they're selling cars that are dirty, and I say, "That guy is a loser.""

• (Unnamed) "See the way they're kissing your ass already? That's what happens when you're a boss."

• (Unnamed) "Essentially, um, we introduced her to a piece called "The Hollowed p*****"."
• (Meghan Boody (artist)) "I actually photographed this at a taxidermist studio in Paris. It's not quite clear if this is an undead kitty or not."

• (Unnamed) "I'd like an exotic trip for four with you and Joy and maybe another couple, and then if they can --"
• (Unnamed) "Now let me get this straight: I gotta go to the far ends of the earth?"
• (Unnamed) "Two nights, then."
• (Unnamed) "But where are we going for two nights?"
• (Unnamed) "Your favorite destination. You and a guest will go with Joy and Phil; uh, Regis --"
• (Unnamed) "Who's Phil? Is Phil Donahue coming with us?"

• (Unnamed) "I'll see you back in the boardroom. Somebody will be fired."

• (Unnamed) "You got hit in the head with a little piece of plaster that; by the way, all my life I've been hit on the head with plaster; Omarosa, I mean, you know, give me a break."

• (Unnamed) "I don't really take anything that Heidi says to heart at all. I mean, look at the source."

• (Unnamed) "-- She likes to drop the "f-bomb" every five minutes."

• (Unnamed) "I love how you're speaking to me as though I, like, have never spoken the English language."

• (Unnamed) "David, if you were the team leader, do you think the result would have been different?"
• (Unnamed) "Not in this case, because sales is not my forte."

• (Unnamed) "Would you send someone out in the football field without his uniform on with Bowie? I don't think so. I know that my --"
• (Unnamed) "If there was 20 seconds left in the game, would you be yammering on like this?"

• (Unnamed) "What about Kwame? Do you love Kwame?"
• (Unnamed) "He does. He does. He's in love with him."

• (Unnamed) "The other team obviously can't come up with an original idea, so they've got the hookers over here working my customers."

• (Unnamed) "The way I come in is big energy, charisma; I'm gabbing up a storm before --"
• (Unnamed) "If you say so yourself."
• (Unnamed) "What's that?"
• (Unnamed) "What makes you think you have charisma?"
• (Unnamed) "I think I do. I think I bring a certain energy to a place."

• (Fitz Daniel Tabbas Tepper) "Let me give you advice in life: Don't sell when it's already sold."

• (Unnamed) "-- I would say that I thought that you guys wanted an explanation, and I went ahead and gave an explanation --"
• (Unnamed) "It was a long, boring explanation, and I didn't wanna hear it."

• (Unnamed) "I am a good person."

• (Unnamed) "This is showtime. This is what I do for a living. This is my knitting, if you will. I sell things. I'm phenomenal at it. Ereka, Bill, Katrina and most of the people have underestimated me -- I said, "Hop on this back, I'm taking us to the promised land.""

• (Unnamed) "Tammy's testicle ad may compromise our ability to win this task."

• (Unnamed) "We were lookin' up the ass of a dead dog with fleas if we thought we were gonna go up against them."

• (Unnamed) "I kind of feel like an adult film actor getting' ready to get prepped. I mean, I almost feel like I'm goin' in for a rub and a tug, and it's kind of makin' me a little nervous."

• (Unnamed) "She's trying to tell me how to sell. It's absurd. It's like trying to tell the Pope how to pray."

• (Unnamed) "This is some pimped-out rap video s***."

• (Unnamed) "Come on, it's supporting a great cause."
• (Businessman) "What, Marquis Jet? That's a great cause?"

• (Unnamed) "I love you."
• (George Steinbrenner) "I love you too."
• (Unnamed) "You're a special guy."
• (George Steinbrenner) "You're a special guy."

• (Unnamed) "In business, it's about numbers. It's all about how much you bring in to the bottom line at the end of the year. Rather than, "You should just buy this product because I'm cute.""

• (Unnamed) "Business is business; friends are friends. Don't use them in the same sentence."

• (Unnamed) "Katrina, go back to the suite. Your girlfriend Ereka gave you a break -- Enjoy your evening, there's no place like Trump Tower."

• (Unnamed) "This is a picture of my mother in her last years. This is my father in his prime."

• (Unnamed) "Mr. Trump will see you now."

• (Unnamed) "Omarosa has a huge chip on her shoulder. She felt that she was superior to the other people. She's very smart, but I think her attitude was terrible."

• (Unnamed) "If she slings mud in this direction, that won't be a good move. I'll ask her leading questions that she has to answer, and she'll effectively self-implode; she'll be destroyed."

• (Unnamed) "It's time to do something drastic. Right now, we need to be hopping. We need to be poppin' like a frog on a hot plate."

• (Unnamed) "Is that woman on woman? That's tough stuff, right?"

• (Unnamed) "We call her Lady Di. She looks like Lady Di to me."

• (Meghan Boody (artist)) "This is a series called Psyche and Smut, and it's about a young girl, Psyche, and her twin sister, Smut. And Psyche is this very prim and proper pinafore little girl, and Smut is this rather aberrant, naughty little girl. And by the way, the city's ruled by frogs and their concubines."

• (Unnamed) "Nick and Amy, this is the weakest romance I've ever seen. This romance is pathetic."
• (Unnamed) "Well, I think we just decided we were meant to be very close friends."
• (Unnamed) "Very close friends. That's right."
• (Unnamed) "Good. I've had some "very close friends"."
• (Unnamed) "Me too. Me too."
• (Unnamed) "It's cost me a lot of money, I'll tell you that."

• (Unnamed) "The Ice Queen is dead."

• (Unnamed) "Um, it's bottled thousands of miles away from civilization, up in the --"
• (Nightclub Owner) "Okay, this is a nightclub. It's not rocket science. It's just water."

• (Unnamed) "I've actually doubled my empire. You've motivated me to get on your heels. So, a lot of things happening."
• (Unnamed) "-- He's able to collect his rent, finally."

• (Unnamed) "When we were in the airport, that pilot looked at me, and I could tell he was disgusted."

• (Unnamed) "Hi, this is Robin from Mr. Trump's office. Mr. Trump would like you to meet him at Wollman Rink in 45 minutes."
• (Unnamed) "Thanks, Helen. Bye-bye."

• (Unnamed) "I never knew you were so short."

• (Unnamed) "I think the mood in the house right now is mainly just shock. Everyone's kinda goin', "What the hell just happened? How did we lose that again?" -- Remember that time when your dog got run over when you were a little kid? That's how I feel right now. I feel like a pet was just killed."

• (Unnamed) "Who chose this stupid concept; of the three?"

• (Unnamed) "Do you want a man-drink, McClain, or do you want a girl-drink?"
• (Unnamed) "Man me up."

• (Unnamed) "How did Heidi do?"
• (Unnamed) "Heidi was fantastic. And I will tell you that I haven't always been a fan of Heidi. I haven't always thought that she was professional, nor does she have much class or finesse --"
• (Unnamed) "That was very nice. This is one of the worst compliments I've ever heard."

• (Unnamed) "My name is Sam. Mr. Trump, I've read every book you've written -- twice."

• (Unnamed) "We're taking the feminine route right now: to try and act like a girl, think like a girl, maybe we'll win like the girls."

• (Unnamed) "Women, great job. As a little treat, you're gonna see the nicest apartment in New York City. It's my apartment. So you be up there, one o'clock at my apartment. Guys, they killed you. They really gave you a good beating. So you're not gonna be seeing my apartment."

• (Unnamed) "No matter what kind of relationship I have with someone, if they're one day late on the rent, I start the eviction process, because that affects my cash flow."
• (Unnamed) "See, I might have to evict you, very early. I don't know. You also have to have heart. You know, we need heart in this business."

• (Unnamed) "This is called luxury. This is Trump Luxury."

• (Unnamed) "People need to have more sex, because everyone is just so miserable."

• (Unnamed) "At that point, I just had this pit in my stomach, thinking, "We're gonna lose.""

• (Charles Reiss) "Amy kind of reminded me of a Stepford wife."

• (Unnamed) "At least now, in this wind, people are gonna realize I have my own hair. They always say, "Trump; does he wear a wig?" I say, "I have my own hair." At least they'll see it now in the wind."

• (Unnamed) "Popped your boardroom cherry. Isn't that great?"

• (Unnamed) "I mean, everyone hates you, everyone --"
• (Unnamed) "I don't think they hate me."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, pretty close."
• (Unnamed) "Okay."

• (Unnamed) "Sometimes, those of us who end up winning win more than just a loss."

• (Unnamed) "So as a reward, you have 10 minutes with me. You know, a lot of people would like that opportunity, so take advantage of it."

• (Unnamed) "-- Nick's a guy who oftentimes will jump out of the plane without learning how to operate the parachute."

• (Unnamed) "Mr. Trump, I would have fired her, and I would have liked it."

• (Unnamed) "I am the Zen master of presentations."

• (Unnamed) "Sammy's like Picasso. That guy is so far left field, but he paints this colorful, disturbing picture. You just gotta be able to interpret that picture."

• (Unnamed) "I have no degree from no college."

• (Unnamed) "A country innocent boy who doesn't know how to dress? I mean, I was a virgin on prom night to those kids."

• (Unnamed) "I want access to Trump."

• (Unnamed) "That was a tough one."
• (Unnamed) "I didn't think so tough."

• (Unnamed) "You're Fired."

• (Unnamed) "George, what do you have?"
• (Unnamed) "Oh, boy. I got a lot. First of all, from what's gone on up until now, I was really surprised how little you had learned."

• (Unnamed) ""I like my Poland Spring.""
• (Unnamed) "Absolutely. I understand you like that Poland Stream, but now, you're involved with a product that's not from Poland. You're involved with a product that's from New York."

• (Unnamed) "Nick, I don't know why you think you're such a great salesman. Your performance was terrible."

• (Unnamed) "Someone asks me who I was, I say, "I'm Kwame Jackson from Charlotte, North Carolina.""
• (Unnamed) "How would you explain to the little boy whose father makes five dollars an hour? His father had to work two hours to get that ball."
• (Unnamed) "I didn't sell the kid crack."

• (Unnamed) "What do you think, Nick?"
• (Unnamed) "We lost, and it stinks, and I'm tired of it."

• (Unnamed) "Isaac's last name?"
• (Unnamed) "Mizrahi."
• (Unnamed) "Yes. I see you learned that a little too late."

• (Unnamed) "Again, her thought process is far beyond my comprehension. Just the little "induendos"; the snake in the grass over there. The skull of Henry VIII. I mean, she is amazing."

• (Unnamed) "She's not on the same page -- I mean, not only is she not on the same page, she's not reading from the same book."

• (Unnamed) "You have your finance person and you have your team leader, and the money somewhere disappeared between the hand and the ass. Right?"

• (Unnamed) "I show this apartment to very few people. Presidents, Kings -- and they walk in, they look around, and they really can't believe what they're seeing."

• (Unnamed) "You can't have a straighter man than a country kid from Boise, Idaho."

• (Unnamed) "What about if we buy, um dirt in, like, we can just get plastic baggies and we can buy a package of seeds. We can make it look really cute."
• (Unnamed) "Like, seeds -- seeds with dirt?"

• (Unnamed) "-- I'm a big, big connoisseur of waters."

• (Unnamed) "So I would just; that's the one thing that's gonna be hard"
• (Unnamed) "- it's a bird."
• (Unnamed) "Actually, it's funny, because that's the lesson I've been trying to learn this whole time. But, um, it's basically the concept of --"
• (Unnamed) "That bird is funny. What is that, a pigeon?"
• (Unnamed) "That is a pigeon."

• (Unnamed) "I'm starting to think that I may never hire a man again."

• (Unnamed) "That's a big stretch."
• (Unnamed) "No, it's not a big stretch for me, Mr. Trump, because I learn fast, I learn --"
• (Unnamed) "You don't believe in the genetic pool?"
• (Unnamed) "Excuse me?"
• (Unnamed) "That what you have, you have."
• (Unnamed) "I've got genetic pool big time, Mr. Trump."

• (Unnamed) "This is my first Garbage Dump Dive."

• (Unnamed) "Just for the strength of the team, I'd like to see Heidi go. Plus, I'm tired of hearing her say that she'd rather sell Tampax than artwork. She's pretty much supporting my theory that she is the least classiest person in this game."

• (Unnamed) "Whoa. That's the end of that marriage."

• (Unnamed) "Be the country kid. Be the hat."

• (Unnamed) "She got emotional and attacked me personally --"
• (Unnamed) "I got emotional? Did I cry, Troy? Look at me in the eyes. Did I cry? -- Did I get stern with you? Yes. There's a difference. Get it right."

• (Unnamed) "Troy's from Idaho, so he's got that whole kind of Southern charm thing going on."

• (Unnamed) "You haven't helped me at all. Get out."

• (Unnamed) "If you tell me I'm coming close, I will stop. And if you have to punch me in the stomach and tell me to sit down and shut up, I'll shut up. And I'll learn, Mr. Trump."

• (Unnamed) "We knew that the golf club had a large spread, and we could negotiate. We also knew that the leg wax had a large spread."

• (Unnamed) "In my senior year of medical school, I was like, "What can I do with an M. D. besides treat patients? ""

• (Unnamed) "When we first walked into Meghan's apartment, I was so excited. I mean, I thought her apartment was amazing. She seemed passionate. I mean, she seemed a little creepy --"

• (Unnamed) "Now, Sam, it seemed to be unanimous that; I really don't even think it's a lack of leadership -"
• (Unnamed) "Sit down."
• (Unnamed) "Thank you, Mr. Trump."

• (Unnamed) "Come on, help a redhead out, man. Here's to the happy couple. She needs a drink, man. Bring her upstairs for some specials."
• (Male passerby) "She's my sister."
• (Unnamed) "Uh-oh."
• (Male passerby) "I'm not a redneck."

• (Unnamed) "Nobody has ever duped me."
• (Unnamed) "You've never, ever been duped?"
• (Unnamed) "Nope -- and I'm not gonna give him credit for it."
• (Unnamed) "I have. I've been duped -- I've been duped many times. Everyone's duped. You've been duped also."
• (Unnamed) "I think we got duped, to be honest."
• (Unnamed) "Thanks, Tammy."

• (Unnamed) "Bill, you sold me out."
• (Unnamed) "Short-term memory."

• (Unnamed) "The guy in the leisure suit obviously dances to the beat of a different drummer. Apparently, that drummer loves polyester."

• (Unnamed) "I'm a little annoyed she didn't shake Bill's hand. Me; I don't care. But Bill's a nice guy."

• (Unnamed) "You're entitled to your opinion --"
• (Unnamed) "Of course I am, but it's obviously our opinion that matters."

• (Unnamed) "It could be they're in love, but we'll find out on that plane. But they better not use my bedroom."

• (Unnamed) "Hey, Nick. You could have kids that look like him. He's the spitting image of my little brother."

• (Unnamed) "I'm not a chicken. I'm a leader."

• (Unnamed) "I'm giving you my word, that if you write me a check for a thousand dollars for that glass of lemonade, that you are going to experience the American dream."

• (Unnamed) "I have a bad haircut."

• (Unnamed) "Happy Hour prices, still at Planet Hollywood --"
• (Unnamed) "This is stupid."

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