The Big Lebowski Quotes

The Big Lebowski is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . The Big Lebowski stopped airing in 1970.

It features Coen brothers as producer, Carter Burwell in charge of musical score, and Roger Deakins as head of cinematography.

The Big Lebowski is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Big Lebowski is 117 minutes long. The Big Lebowski is distributed by PolyGram Filmed Entertainment (UK).

The cast includes: Jeff Bridges as The Dude, Mark Pellegrino as Blond Treehorn Thug, John Goodman as Walter Sobchak, John Turturro as Jesus Quintana, Tara Reid as Bunny Lebowski, Philip Seymour Hoffman as Brandt, Julianne Moore as The Big Lebowski, Steve Buscemi as Donny, Julianne Moore as Maude Lebowski, Jimmie Dale Gilmore as Smokey, Jon Polito as Da Fino, Ben Gazzara as Jackie Treehorn, and David Thewlis as Knox Harrington.

The Big Lebowski Quotes

Jeff Bridges as The Dude

• (Jeff Bridges) "Also, my rug was stolen."
• (Younger Cop) "The rug was in the car?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "No. It was here."
• (Younger Cop) "Oh, separate incidents."
• (Julianne Moore) "Jeffrey, this is Maude Lebowski. I need to see you. I'm the one who took your rug."
• (Younger Cop) "Well. I guess we can close the file on that one."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man."
• (Mark Pellegrino) "Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny."
• (Jeff Bridges) "My -- my wi-, my wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm f***ing married? The toilet seat's up, man."

• (Woo, Treehorn Thug) "Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh, man, don't do that. Not on the rug, man."
• (Woo, Treehorn Thug) "You see what happens? You see what happens, Lebowski?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter -- what am I going to tell Lebowski?"
• (John Goodman) "I told that f*** down at the league office -- who's in charge of scheduling?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter --"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Burkhalter."
• (John Goodman) "I told that kraut a f***ing thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter --"
• (Steve Buscemi) "They already posted it."
• (John Goodman) "Well they can f***ing unpost it."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Who gives a s***. They're gonna kill that poor woman, man. What am I gonna tell Lebowski?"
• (John Goodman) "C'mon Dude, eventually she'll get sick of her little game and, you know, wander on back."
• (Steve Buscemi) "How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter?"
• (John Goodman) "I'm shomer shabbos."
• (Steve Buscemi) "What's that?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah, and in the meantime, what do I tell Lebowski?"
• (John Goodman) "Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't f***ing ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as s*** don't f***ing roll."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Sheesh."
• (John Goodman) "Shomer shabbos."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, how am I going to --"
• (John Goodman) "Shomer f***ing shabbos."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh f*** it. I'm out of here."
• (John Goodman) "Come on, Dude --"
• (John Goodman) "f***ing BABY --"

• (Jeff Bridges) "I dropped off the money exactly as per -- look, man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new s***, you know, I-I-I-I -- this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple -- uh, you know?"
• (Julianne Moore) "What in God's holy name are you blathering about?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "I'll tell you what I'm blathering about -- I've got information man. New s*** has come to light. And s*** -- man, she kidnapped herself. Well sure, man. Look at it -- a young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know, and she, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that's cool -- that's, that's cool, I'm, I'm saying, she needs money, man. And of course they're going to say that they didn't get it, because -- she wants more, man. She's got to feed the monkey, I mean uh -- hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?"

• (Tony the Chauffeur) "So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates, my daughter's married to a jadrool loser bastard, and I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain.""
• (Jeff Bridges) "Ahh f***in'-A, man. I got a rash, man. f***in'-A."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Would you come off it Walter? You're not even f***ing Jewish, man."
• (John Goodman) "What the f*** are you talking about Dude?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "You're f***ing Polish-Catholic."
• (John Goodman) "What the f*** are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia, Dude."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah --"
• (John Goodman) "And you know this."
• (Jeff Bridges) "-- And five f***ing years ago you were divorced man."
• (John Goodman) "When you get a divorce you get a new license? You turn in your library card? You stop being Jewish?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "That rug really tied the room together."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Hey, no, come on, Walter. We're ending this thing cheap, man."
• (John Goodman) "No, what's mine is mine."
• (Nihilist) "No funny shtuff."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Alright, alright, I've got four dollars, almost five --"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Hey, I got eighteen dollars."
• (John Goodman) "What's mine is mine."
• (Nihilist) "We f*** you ups, man. We takes the money."
• (John Goodman) "Come and get it."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Uh, and then, uh, the music business, briefly."
• (Julianne Moore) "Oh?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah. Roadie for Metallica"
• (Julianne Moore) "Oh."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Speed of Sound Tour"
• (Julianne Moore) "Mm-hmm."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Bunch of assholes."

• (Jeff Bridges) "I could be just sitting at home with pee stains on my rug."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh no, really, it's, ahh, not even -- not even bruised anymore."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Hey, nice marmot."

• (Jeff Bridges) "They're gonna kill that poor woman."

• (Jeff Bridges) "f***in' Quintana -- that creep can roll, man."
• (John Goodman) "Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah."
• (John Goodman) "No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh."
• (John Goodman) "When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast."
• (Steve Buscemi) "What's a -- pederast, Walter?"
• (John Goodman) "Shut the f*** up, Donny."

• (Jeff Bridges) "This is the f***in' guy. I can find this f***in' Lebowski guy."
• (Steve Buscemi) "His name's Lebowski? That's your name, Dude."

• (Jeff Bridges) "My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh boy. How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus."

• (Jeff Bridges) "And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man."
• (John Goodman) "You mean -- beyond pacifism?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the f*** are you talking about?"
• (John Goodman) "Huh? No, what the f*** are you -- I'm not -- We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude."
• (Steve Buscemi) "What the f*** is he talking about?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "My rug."
• (John Goodman) "Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the f*** are you talking about?"
• (John Goodman) "What the f*** are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT -- Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy --"
• (John Goodman) "What the f*** are you?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, he peed on my rug."
• (Steve Buscemi) "He peed on the Dude's rug."
• (John Goodman) "Donny you're out of your element. Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh, Jesus, what's that smell, man?"
• (Auto Circus Cop) "Yes, probably a vagrant slept in the car. Or maybe just used it as a toilet and moved on."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Ow. f***ing fascist."

• (The Stranger) "I like your style, Dude."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Well, I dig your style too, man. Got the whole cowboy thing goin'."
• (The Stranger) "Thankee."

• (The Stranger) "There's just one thing, Dude."
• (Jeff Bridges) "And what's that?"
• (The Stranger) "Do you have to use so many cuss words?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "What the f*** you talking about?"
• (The Stranger) "Okay, Dude. Have it your way."

• (Jeff Bridges) "By the way, do you think that you could give me that $20,000 in cash? My concern is, and I have to, uh, check with my accountant, that this might bump me into a higher, uh, tax --"
• (Julianne Moore) "Brandt, give him the envelope."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh, you've already got the check made out, that's great."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Look, just stay away from my f***ing lady friend."
• (Jon Polito) "Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady."
• (Jeff Bridges) "She's not my special lady, she's my f***ing lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive, man."

• (Jeff Bridges) "I was one of the original authors of the Port Huron Declaration. Not the compromised second draft --"

• (Jeff Bridges) "God damn you Walter. You f***in' asshole. Everything's a f***in' travesty with you, man. And what was all that s*** about Vietnam? What the f***, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the f*** are you talking about?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "I only said I THOUGHT she kidnapped herself. You're the one who's so f***ing certain."
• (John Goodman) "That's right, Dude. 100% certain."

• (Jeff Bridges) "At least I'm housebroken."

• (Jeff Bridges) "f*** sympathy. I don't need your f***in' sympathy, man, I need my f***ing johnson."
• (Steve Buscemi) "What do you need that for, Dude?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "Jesus, man, could you change the channel?"
• (Cab Driver) "f*** you man. If you don't like my f***in' music get your own f***in' cab."
• (Jeff Bridges) "I had a rough --"
• (Cab Driver) "I pull over and kick your ass out."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the f***in' Eagles, man."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Dude."
• (Nihilist) "Who is this?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Dude. The bag man, man. Where do you want us to go?"
• (Nihilist) "Us?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "s***."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Uh. Yeah, uh. Me and, uh, the driver. I'm not handling the money, driving the car and talking on the phone all at the same time."
• (Nihilist) "Shut the f*** up."
• (John Goodman) "Dude, are you f***ing this up?"
• (Nihilist) "Who the f*** is that?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "That is the driver."
• (Jeff Bridges) "s***. Walter, you f*** -- you f***ed it up. You f***ed it up. Her life was in our hands, man."
• (John Goodman) "Nothing is f***ed here, Dude. Come on, you're being very un-Dude. They'll call back."

• (Jeff Bridges) "These are, uh --"
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Oh, those are Mr Lebowski's children, so to speak."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Different mothers, huh?"
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "No."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Racially he's pretty cool?"
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "They're not literally his children. They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers; inner city children of promise but without the necessary means for a; necessary means for a higher education. So Mr Lebowski is committed to sending all of them to college."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a god**** moron."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Where's the f***ing money Lebowski?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "Just take it easy man."
• (John Goodman) "I'm perfectly calm Dude."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah, waving the f***ing gun around?"
• (John Goodman) "Calmer than you are."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Will you just take it easy?"
• (John Goodman) "Calmer than you are."

• (Jeff Bridges) "What's in the f***in' carrier?"
• (John Goodman) "Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii."
• (Jeff Bridges) "You brought the f***in' Pomeranian bowling?"
• (John Goodman) "What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a f***ing beer. He's not taking your f***ing turn, Dude."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Man, if my f***in' ex-wife asked me to take care of her f***in' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go f*** herself."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Mind if I do a J?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "Who the f*** is Arthur Digby Sellers?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "So if you could just write me my check for ten percent of a half a million -- five grand -- I'll go out and mingle."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Far out, man. Far f***ing out."

• (Jeff Bridges) "The Dude abides."

• (Da Fino, Private Snoop) "I'm a brother shamus."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Brother Seamus? Like an Irish monk?"
• (Da Fino, Private Snoop) "What the f*** are you talking about?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "I hate the f***in' Eagles man."

• (Jeff Bridges) "I mean we totally f***ed it up man, we f***ed up this payoff, we got the kidnappers all mad at us, and Lebowski, ya know, he yelled at me a lot but he didn't do anything, huh?"
• (John Goodman) "Well, sometimes, it's a cathartic --"
• (Jeff Bridges) "No, I'm saying, if he knows I'm a f***-up, why does he leave me in charge of getting his wife back? Because he doesn't f***ing want her back. He no longer digs her, it's all a show. Ok, so then why doesn't he give a s*** about his million bucks? I mean, he knows we never handed off the briefcase, but he never asked for it back. The million bucks was never in the briefcase. The asshole was hoping that they would kill her. You threw out a ringer for a ringer."

• (Jeff Bridges) "What do you do?"
• (David Thewlis) "Oh, nothin' much."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Do you find them much, these, stolen cars?"
• (Younger Cop) "Sometimes. Wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck though."
• (Older Cop) "Or the Creedence."

• (Jeff Bridges) "He just wanted the car. All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back. That really tied the room together."

• (Jeff Bridges) "I'm sorry your stepmother is a nympho."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Did you ever hear of "The Seattle Seven"?"
• (Julianne Moore) "Mmm."
• (Jeff Bridges) "That was me -- and six other guys."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, ya know, it's Smokey, so his toe slipped over the line a little, big deal. It's just a game, man."
• (John Goodman) "Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?"
• (Jimmie Dale Gilmore) "Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker Dude, I'm marking it 8."
• (John Goodman) "Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter --"
• (John Goodman) "You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain."
• (Jimmie Dale Gilmore) "I'm not --"
• (John Goodman) "A world of pain."
• (Jimmie Dale Gilmore) "Dude, he's your partner --"
• (John Goodman) "Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a s*** about the rules? Mark it zero."
• (Jeff Bridges) "They're calling the cops, put the piece away."
• (John Goodman) "Mark it zero."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter --"
• (John Goodman) "You think I'm f***ing around here? Mark it zero."
• (Jimmie Dale Gilmore) "All right, it's f***ing zero. Are you happy, you crazy f***?"
• (John Goodman) "-- It's a league game, Smokey."

• (Jeff Bridges) "This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head."

• (Jeff Bridges) "This is a very complicated case, Maude. A lot of ins, a lot of outs. Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict drug regimen to keep my mind limber."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Who the f*** are you, man?"
• (David Thewlis) "Oh, just a friend of Maudie's."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah, a friend with a cleft asshole?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "What the f*** are you talking about?"

• (The Stranger) "How have things been going?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Well, you know, strikes and gutters, ups and downs."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Well, they finally did it. They killed my f***ing car."
• (Nihilist) "Ve vant ze money, Lebowski."
• (Nihilist #2) "Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl."
• (Nihilist #3) "Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski."
• (Jeff Bridges) "You don't HAVE the f***ing girl, dips***s. We know you never did."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Are these the Nazis, Walter?"
• (John Goodman) "No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of."
• (Nihilist) "Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve f*** you ups."
• (John Goodman) "f*** you. f*** the three of you."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Hey, cool it Walter."
• (John Goodman) "No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the f***ing rules."
• (Nihilist #2) "His girlfriend gave up her toe."
• (Nihilist #3) "She though we'd be getting million dollars."
• (Nihilist #2) "Iss not fair."
• (John Goodman) "Fair. WHO'S THE f***ING NIHILIST HERE. WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF f***ING CRYBABIES?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Hey, cool it Walter. Look, pal, there never was any money. The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, so take it up with him, man."
• (John Goodman) "And, I would like my undies back."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?"
• (John Goodman) "No, Donny. These men are cowards."
• (Nihilist) "Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen."
• (John Goodman) "f*** you."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Ah, f*** it."
• (Julianne Moore) "f*** it. Yes. That's your answer. That's your answer for everything. Tattoo it on your forehead."

• (Jeff Bridges) "Rug pee-ers did not do this. Look at it: a young trophy wife, marries this guy for his money, she figures he hasn't given her enough, you know, she owes money all over town."
• (John Goodman) "That, f***in'; bitch --"
• (Jeff Bridges) "It's all a god damn fake, man. It's like Lenin said: you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh, you know --"
• (Steve Buscemi) "I am the walrus."
• (Jeff Bridges) "You know, you'll uh, uh; well, you know what I'm trying' to say --"
• (Steve Buscemi) "I am the walrus."
• (John Goodman) "That f***ing bitch."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh yeah."
• (Steve Buscemi) "I am the walrus."
• (John Goodman) "Shut the f*** up, Donny. V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov."
• (Steve Buscemi) "What the f*** is he talking about?"

• (Jeff Bridges) "Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing."

• (Younger Cop) "And was there anything of value in the car?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh, uh, yeah, uh -- a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a, uh -- uh, my briefcase."
• (Younger Cop) "In the briefcase?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers, business papers."
• (Younger Cop) "And what do you do, sir?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "I'm unemployed."

Jon Polito as Da Fino

• (Jon Polito) "Well maybe you and me could pool our resources, you know, trade information? Professional courtesy? Compeers, you know?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah, yeah, I get it, f*** off Da Fino. And stay away from my special; from my f***ing lady friend, man."

• (Jon Polito) "Let me tell ya something; I dig your work. Playing one side against the other, in bed with everybody; just fabulous stuff."

Philip Seymour Hoffman as Brandt

• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "You never went to college --"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh, no I did, but I spent most of my time occupying various administration buildings -- smoking a lot of thai stick -- breaking into the ROTC -- and bowling. To tell you the truth Brandt, I don't remember most of it."

• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a generous offer to you to act as courier, once we get instructions for the money."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Why me, man?"
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "He believes the culprits might be the very people who, uh, soiled your rug, and you are in a unique position to confirm or disconfirm that suspicion."
• (Jeff Bridges) "He thinks the carpet pissers did this?"
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Well Dude, we just don't know."

• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Well, enjoy. And perhaps we'll see you again some time, Dude."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah, sure, if I'm -- in the neighborhood and I, uh -- gotta use the john."

• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Her life is in your hands."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Man, don't say that, man."
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that: her life is in your hands."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh, s***, man."
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Her life is in your hands, Dude."

John Goodman as Walter Sobchak

• (John Goodman) "I told that Kraut a f***in' thousand times, I don't roll on shabbos."

• (John Goodman) "f***ing Germans. Nothing changes. f***ing Nazis."
• (Steve Buscemi) "They were Nazis, Dude?"
• (John Goodman) "Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration. Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?"

• (John Goodman) "As if we would DREAM of taking your money."

• (John Goodman) "Call the medics, Dude. I'd go myself but I'm pumping blood. Might pass out. Rest easy, good buddy, you're doing fine. We got help choppering in."

• (John Goodman) "Anti-semite."

• (John Goodman) "Anti-semite."

• (John Goodman) "You're being very undude."

• (John Goodman) "You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah, but Walter --"
• (John Goodman) "Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon -- with nail polish. These f***ing amateurs --"

• (John Goodman) "The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy f***in' adversary."
• (Steve Buscemi) "Who's in pajamas Walter?"
• (John Goodman) "Shut the f*** up, Donny."

• (John Goodman) "Those rich f***s. This whole f***ing thing -- I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this f***ing strumpet --"
• (Jeff Bridges) "I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter."
• (John Goodman) "Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, face it, there isn't any connection."

• (John Goodman) "OVER THE LINE."
• (Jimmie Dale Gilmore) "Huh?"
• (John Goodman) "I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul."
• (Jimmie Dale Gilmore) "Bulls***. Mark it 8, Dude."
• (John Goodman) "Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame."
• (Jimmie Dale Gilmore) "Bulls***, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude."
• (John Goodman) "Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

• (John Goodman) "He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the In-and-Out Burger --"
• (Jeff Bridges) "The In-and-Out Burger is on Camrose."
• (John Goodman) "Near the In-and-Out Burger --"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Those are good burgers, Walter."
• (John Goodman) "Shut the f*** up, Donny."

• (John Goodman) "Etz chaim he dude, as the ex used to say."
• (Jeff Bridges) "What the f*** is that supposed to mean? What the f*** are we gonna tell Lebowski?"
• (John Goodman) "Huh?"
• (John Goodman) "Oh, him. Er --"
• (John Goodman) "What exactly is the problem?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Well, the problem is -- W-what do you mean "what's the" -- umph -- Th-there was no -- We d- we didn't eh -- uhumph -- They're gonna kill that poor woman. Man."
• (John Goodman) "What the f*** are you talking about? That poor woman -- that poor SLUT kidnapped herself. Come on dude, you said so yourself."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Man --. I said I THOUGHT she kidnapped herself -- YOU'RE the one who's so f***ing certain."
• (John Goodman) "That's right dude. One hundred percent certain."

• (John Goodman) "I'm not even supposed to pick up the phone unless its an emergency."
• (Jeff Bridges) "This is a f***in' emergency."
• (John Goodman) "I understand. That's why I picked up the phone."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, you f***. We gotta go to Pasadena, man. Come pick me up or I'm off the f***in' bowling team."

• (John Goodman) "You have got to buck up, man. You cannot drag this negative energy in to the tournament."
• (Jeff Bridges) "f*** the tournament -- f*** YOU, Walter."
• (John Goodman) "f*** the tournament? All right, I can see you don't want to be cheered up here, Dude. Come on Donny, let's go get us a lane."

• (John Goodman) "Were you listening to The Dude's story, Donny?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter --"
• (Steve Buscemi) "What?"
• (John Goodman) "Were you listening to The Dude's story?"
• (Steve Buscemi) "I was bowling."
• (John Goodman) "So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know --"
• (Jeff Bridges) "(interrupting) Walter, Walter, what's the point, man?"
• (John Goodman) "There's no reason; here's my point, dude, there's no f***ing reason why these two --"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Yeah, Walter, what's your point?"

• (John Goodman) "It's all water under the bridge."

• (John Goodman) "That rug really tied the room together, did it not?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "f***in' A."
• (Steve Buscemi) "And this guy peed on it."
• (John Goodman) "Donny, please."

• (John Goodman) "Achtung baby."

• (John Goodman) "That's right, Dude, they peed on your f***ing rug."

• (John Goodman) "Am I wrong?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "No you're not wrong."
• (John Goodman) "Am I wrong?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "You're not wrong Walter. You're just an asshole."
• (John Goodman) "Okay then."

• (John Goodman) "Fifteen, Dude. This is it. Let's take that hill."

• (John Goodman) "And a good day to you, sir."

• (John Goodman) "Now so far, we have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes."
• (Jeff Bridges) "What about the toe?"
• (John Goodman) "Forget about the f***ing toe."
• (Coffee Shop Waitress) "Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant."
• (John Goodman) "Oh please, dear? For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint."

• (John Goodman) "Yeah, the beauty of this is its simplicity. If it gets complex, everything can go wrong."

• (John Goodman) "If you will it, it is no dream."

• (John Goodman) "Does he still write?"
• (Pilar, Sellers' Housekeeper) "Oh no no, he has health problems."

• (John Goodman) "Now that is just ridiculous, Dude. Nobody is going to cut your dick off. Not if I have anything to say about it."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Thank you Walter, that makes me feel very secure, it makes me feel very warm inside."

• (John Goodman) "Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of s***."
• (Steve Buscemi) "What's wrong with Walter, Dude?"

• (John Goodman) "The little prick is stonewalling me."

• (John Goodman) "f*** it, Dude, let's go bowling."

• (John Goodman) "Excuse me, dear? The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint."
• (Jeff Bridges) "This isn't a First Amendment issue, man."

• (John Goodman) "Look at our current situation with that camel f***er over in Iraq. Pacifism is not something to hide behind."

• (John Goodman) "f***ing dips*** with a nine toed woman."

• (John Goodman) "That's not her toe, Dude."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Then whose toe is it, Walter?"
• (John Goodman) "How the f*** should I know?"

• (John Goodman) "Shut the f*** up, Donny."

• (John Goodman) "Your wheel. At fifteen m-p-h I roll out. I double back, grab one of 'em and beat it out of him. The uzi."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Uzi?"
• (John Goodman) "You didn't think I was rolling out of here naked."

• (John Goodman) "GOD DAMN IT. Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't make us saps."

• (John Goodman) "Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant."

• (John Goodman) "Nothing is f***ed here Dude. Nothing is f***ed. They're a bunch of f***ing amateurs."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Walter, would you just shut the f*** -- don't say a peep while I'm doing business here, man."
• (John Goodman) "Okay Dude. Have it your way."
• (John Goodman) "But they're amateurs."

• (John Goodman) "Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors -- and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and -- up to -- Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince."

• (John Goodman) "Also, let's not forget; let's not forget, Dude; that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city; that aint legal either."
• (Jeff Bridges) "What are you, a f***ing park ranger now?"
• (John Goodman) "No, I'm --"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Who gives a s*** about the f***ing marmot."

• (John Goodman) "When we make the handoff, I double back, grab one of 'em and beat it out of him. Huh?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "That's a great plan, Walter. That's f***in' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss f***in' watch."

• (John Goodman) "Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Look, man --"
• (John Goodman) "Dude, please? Is this your homework, Larry?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Just ask him about the car."
• (John Goodman) "Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Is that your car out front?"
• (John Goodman) "Is this your homework, Larry?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "We know it's his f***ing homework. Where's the f***ing money, you little brat?"
• (John Goodman) "Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh, for Christ's sake, Walter --"
• (John Goodman) "You're entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car."
• (Jeff Bridges) "And the f***ing money."
• (John Goodman) "And the f***ing money. And, we know that this is your homework."
• (Jeff Bridges) "We're going to cut your dick off, Larry."
• (John Goodman) "You're killing your father, Larry."

• (John Goodman) "Nihilists. f*** me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos."

Julianne Moore as Maude Lebowski

• (Julianne Moore) "My father's weakness is vanity, hence the slut."

• (Sherry in 'Logjammin') "You must be here to fix the cable."
• (Julianne Moore) "Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here."
• (Jeff Bridges) "He fixes the cable?"
• (Julianne Moore) "Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey."

• (Julianne Moore) "Are you surprised at my tears, sir?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Dude, f***in' A."
• (Julianne Moore) "Strong men also cry -- strong men also cry."

• (Julianne Moore) "Let me tell you something. The whole thing stinks to high heaven."

• (Julianne Moore) "Jeffrey."
• (Jeff Bridges) "-- Maude?"
• (Julianne Moore) "Love me."
• (Jeff Bridges) "That's my robe."

• (Julianne Moore) "Did I urinate on your rug?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug?"
• (Julianne Moore) "Do you speak English sir? Parla usted Inglese?"

• (Julianne Moore) "You have your story, I have mine. I say that I entrusted the money to you, and you stole it."
• (John Goodman) "As if we would ever dream of taking your bulls*** money."

• (Julianne Moore) "Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Uh, is that what this is a picture of?"
• (Julianne Moore) "In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Oh yeah?"
• (Julianne Moore) "Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Johnson?"

• (Julianne Moore) "The story is ludicrous."

• (Julianne Moore) "I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?"

• (Julianne Moore) "Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "'Scuse me?"
• (Julianne Moore) "Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "I was talking about my rug."
• (Julianne Moore) "You're not interested in sex?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "You mean coitus?"

• (Julianne Moore) "It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people; it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women; who engage in it compulsively and without joy. Yes, Mr. Lebowski, these unfortunate souls cannot love in the true sense of the word. Our mutual acquaintance Bunny is one of these."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Listen, Maude, I'm sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, but I don't see what it has to do with; do you have any Kahlúa?"

• (Julianne Moore) "Start talking and talk fast you lousy bum."
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "We've been frantically trying to reach you, Dude."
• (Julianne Moore) "Where is my god**** money you bum?"

• (Julianne Moore) "Are you employed, sir?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Employed?"
• (Julianne Moore) "You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Is this a -- what day is this?"
• (Julianne Moore) "Well, I do work sir, so if you don't mind --"
• (Jeff Bridges) "I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man."

• (Julianne Moore) "I will not abide another toe."

• (Julianne Moore) "I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea."

• (Julianne Moore) "My father and I don't get along, he doesn't approve of my lifestyle and, needless to say, I don't approve of his. Still, I hardly wish to make my father's embezzlement a police matter, so I'm proposing that you try to recover the money from the people you delivered it to."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Well, I could do that --"
• (Julianne Moore) "If you successfully do so, I will compensate you to the tune of 10 percent of the recovered sum."
• (Jeff Bridges) "A hundred --"
• (Julianne Moore) "Thousand, yes bones or clams or whatever you call them."

• (Julianne Moore) "Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski. Condolences. The bums lost. My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Lebowski?"
• (Julianne Moore) "The bums will always lose."
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Okay. The old man told me to take any rug in the house."

Mark Pellegrino as Blond Treehorn Thug

• (Mark Pellegrino) "What the f*** is this?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Obviously, you're not a golfer."

• (Mark Pellegrino) "Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the f***ing money, s***head?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "It's uh -- uh -- it's down there somewhere, let me take another look."

• (Mark Pellegrino) "What the f*** is this?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Obviously you're not a golfer."

Ben Gazzara as Jackie Treehorn

• (Ben Gazzara) "Refill?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Does the Pope s*** in the woods?"

• (Ben Gazzara) "Interactive erotic software. The wave of the future, Dude. One hundred percent electronic."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah well, I still jerk off manually."

Steve Buscemi as Donny

• (Steve Buscemi) "I'm throwing rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude."

• (Steve Buscemi) "They posted the next round for the tournament."
• (John Goodman) "Donny, shut the f- when do we play?"

John Turturro as Jesus Quintana

• (John Turturro) "Nobody f***s with the Jesus."

• (John Turturro) "Are you ready to be f***ed, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna f*** you up."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion, man."
• (John Turturro) "Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy s*** with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the f***ing trigger 'til it goes "click.""
• (Jeff Bridges) "Jesus."
• (John Turturro) "You said it, man. Nobody f***s with the Jesus."
• (John Goodman) "Eight-year-olds, Dude."

David Thewlis as Knox Harrington

• (David Thewlis) "So you're Lebowski. Maudie's told me all about you. She'll be back in a moment, sit down. Would you like a drink?"
• (Jeff Bridges) "Uh, yeah. White Russian?"
• (David Thewlis) "The bar's over there."

Tara Reid as Bunny Lebowski

• (Tara Reid) "Blow on them."
• (Jeff Bridges) "You want me to blow on your toes?"
• (Tara Reid) "I can't blow that far."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Are you sure he won't mind?"
• (Tara Reid) "Uli doesn't care about anything. He's a Nihilist."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Ah, that must be exhausting."
• (Tara Reid) "You're not blowing --"

• (Tara Reid) "I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars."
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Ah hahahahaha. Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited."
• (Tara Reid) "Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred."
• (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Ah haha. That's marvelous."
• (Jeff Bridges) "Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine."

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