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The Big Kahuna (film) Quotes

The Big Kahuna (film) is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . The Big Kahuna ended its run in 1970.

It features Elie Samaha as producer, Christopher Young in charge of musical score, and Anastas N. Michos as head of cinematography.

The Big Kahuna (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Big Kahuna (film) is 90 minutes long. The Big Kahuna (film) is distributed by Lions Gate Entertainment.

The cast includes: Kevin Spacey as Larry Mann, Peter Facinelli as Bob Walker, and Danny DeVito as Phil Cooper.

The Big Kahuna (film) Quotes

Kevin Spacey as Larry Mann

  • (Kevin Spacey) "Did you mention perhaps what line of industrial lubricants Jesus would have endorsed?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Do I strike you as a particularly religious man, Phil?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "Not even the slightest."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Then why am I seized with a sudden overwhelming desire to pray?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Phil -- man, we're in Witchita, Kansas. What does it matter whether we're on the 1st floor or the 500th floor? It all looks the same."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "There are people in this world, Bob, who look very official while they are doing what they are doing. And do you know why?"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Why?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Because they don't know what they are doing. Because if you know what you are doing, then you don't have to look like you know what you are doing, because it comes naturally."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "How long have you been married, Bob?"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Six months."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "You love your wife?"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Do I love my wife? Why wouldn't I?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Well, people get married for a lot of different reasons, Bob. You seem like a real principled guy to me."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "So?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Well, I've known people. I'm not saying you're one of them. It's just I've known them who were real principled, and then they met somebody else who was real principled, and then the two of them got married, only to find out one day it was their principles that got married. Two of them just kind of came along for the ride."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Oh."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Love has a lot of counterfeits, Bob, not to get too deep."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Sure."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Here's to the profound religious experience that comes from doing a job well and being grossly underpaid."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "When Jesus comes back he's going to have to give them a 2 day advanced notice, so they can make one of those little graph things."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Well, I'll be a son of a bitch. I don't smoke, you quit drinking, Bob here wouldn't even dream of lusting after a woman -- between the three of us, we're practically Jesus."

Danny DeVito as Phil Cooper

  • (Danny DeVito) "There's something I wanna say to you. And I want you to listen very closely because it's very important. The man we just chased from here --"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "We didn't chase anybody."
  • (Danny DeVito) "The man who just left the room a moment ago is a very good friend of mine. Is it because I've known him for a long time? Well, there are a lot of people who I've known for quite a while. And some of them I wouldn't let wipe my dog's ass. Others I can take or leave. They don't matter to me. But Larry matters very much, the reason being, I can trust him. I know I can trust him. He's honest."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Is he honest, or is he just blunt?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "He's honest, Bob. He's blunt as well. That sometimes is part of being honest, because there are a lot of people who are blunt but not honest. Larry is not one of those. Larry is an honest man. You, too, are an honest man, Bob. I believe that somewhere deep down inside of you is something that strives to be honest. The question that you have to ask yourself is, "Has it touched the whole of my life?""
  • (Peter Facinelli) "What does that mean?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "That means that you preaching Jesus is no different than Larry or anybody else preaching lubricants. It doesn't matter whether you're selling Jesus or Buddha or civil rights or how to make money in real estate with no money down. That doesn't make you a human being. It makes you a marketing rep. If you wanna talk to somebody honestly, as a human being, ask him about his kids. Find out what his dreams are, just to find out, for no other reason. Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation, to steer it, it's not a conversation anymore. It's a pitch, and you're not a human being. You're a marketing rep."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Forgive me if I respectfully disagree."
  • (Danny DeVito) "We were talking before about character. You were asking me about character. We were speaking of faces, but the question is much deeper than that. The question is do you have any character at all? And if you want my honest opinion, Bob, you do not, for the simple reason that you don't regret anything yet."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "You're saying I won't have any character unless I do something I regret?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "No, Bob. I'm saying you've already done plenty of things to regret. You just don't know what they are. It's when you discover them, when you see the folly in something you've done and you wish that you had it to do over, but you know you can't because it's too late. So you pick that thing up and you carry it with you to remind you that life goes on, the world will spin without you, you really don't matter in the end. Then you will attain character because honesty will reach out from inside and tattoo itself all across your face. Until that day, however, you cannot expect to go beyond a certain point."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "May I go now?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "Go ahead."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Thank you."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Good night."
  • (Danny DeVito) "A man hasn't any idea what his soul looks like until he gazes into the eyes for the woman that he's married to. And then, if he's any kind of decent human being, he spends the next couple of days throwing up. Because no honest man can stand that image."

Peter Facinelli as Bob Walker

  • (Peter Facinelli) "What if he wants to talk?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Well, then you talk Bob, you talk as long as he wants, forty days and forty nights, if you have to, until he tires of it. Then you come back here and tell us what happened."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "You'll wait up?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Till the next fiscal quarter, beyond that I can't make any guarantees."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Throw me in the water and see if I can swim."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "I think you're missing the point here Bob, we're about to throw you off a cliff and see if you can fly."

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