The Apple Dumpling Gang (film) Quotes

The Apple Dumpling Gang (film) is a television show that debuted in 1970 . The Apple Dumpling Gang completed its run in 1970.

It features Bill Anderson as producer, Paul J. Smith (composer) in charge of musical score, and Frank V. Phillips as head of cinematography.

The Apple Dumpling Gang (film) is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Don Knotts as Theodore Oglivie, Tim Conway as Amos Tucker, Don Knotts as Theodore Ogelvie, Harry Morgan as Homer McCoy, Bill Bixby as Russell Donovan, Don Knight as John Wintle, Slim Pickens as Frank Stillwell, Clay O'Brien as Bobby, Bill Bixby as Donovan, Brad Savage as Clovis, Don Knotts as Theodore, Tim Conway as Amos, Susan Clark as Dusty, Stacy Manning as Celia Bradley, and Fran Ryan as Mrs. Stockley.

The Apple Dumpling Gang (film) Quotes

Don Knotts as Theodore

• (Don Knotts) "Get back, you cabbage head. You're gonna bust it."

• (Don Knotts) "You know something, Amos?"
• (Tim Conway) "Huh?"
• (Don Knotts) "We got to make a decision."
• (Tim Conway) "What?"
• (Don Knotts) "Does the Hash Knife Outfit throw in its hand? Or do we go out in a blaze of glory?"
• (Tim Conway) "Right. Uh, just what do you mean -- blaze of glory?"
• (Don Knotts) "Fighting till the last man's killed. What's it going to be, pard?"
• (Tim Conway) "You know that jail in Santa Fe wasn't all that bad."

• (Don Knotts) "It's a piece of cake."
• (Tim Conway) "You mean it ain't gold?"

• (Unnamed) "You're rear end's on fire, Theodore."
• (Don Knotts) "Oh. Thank you."
• (Don Knotts) "Why didn't you tell me my rear end was on fire?"
• (Tim Conway) "Well, you said not to do anything to attract attention."

• (Don Knotts) "You and me been through a lot together, and although I climbed your hump once in a while, I; I just couldn't have asked for a better partner. If we meet again in that big roundup in the sky sometime, I'm gonna spread my blanket 'side of yours, just the same as always."

• (Don Knotts) "You know something, Amos? The Lord poured your brains in with a teaspoon, and somebody joggled His arm. I keep trying to tell you we ain't got no lead to throw, and no powder to throw it with."

Don Knight as John Wintle

• (Don Knight) "Donovan. I haven't seen you since, ah --"
• (Bill Bixby) "Santa Fe."
• (Don Knight) "Right."
• (Bill Bixby) "When you sold me the Marshal's horse."
• (Don Knight) "Right. I was just funnin', Donovan."
• (Bill Bixby) "The Marshal wasn't amused."

Bill Bixby as Russell Donovan

• (Bill Bixby) "Ah, the lady of the house."
• (Fran Ryan) "Kids, yick."
• (Bill Bixby) "The children are marvelous about parties. They love parties themselves."
• (Fran Ryan) "Come on."
• (Bill Bixby) "If you'd just take one small look --"
• (Clay O'Brien) "Who was that?"
• (Bill Bixby) "That was the president of the garden club."

• (Bill Bixby) "What have I done to deserve this?"
• (Brad Savage) "Who are you talking to?"
• (Bill Bixby) "It doesn't matter. I don't think He's listening to me anyway."

• (Bill Bixby) "You always kiss like that?"
• (Susan Clark) "I've been saving up."

• (Bill Bixby) "Dusty. Dusty. Would you just tell me what's bothering you?."
• (Susan Clark) "That bed. That great, big, brass bed. If you had no intention of exercising your husbandly prerogatives, why'd you buy that bed?"
• (Bill Bixby) "That's it? The bed ?"
• (Susan Clark) "Yes."
• (Bill Bixby) "The bed happens to be for the kids, Dusty. When the nights are getting colder, they'll need a warmer place to sleep. So the brass bed is for the boys, and the smaller bed is for Celia."
• (Susan Clark) "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place, then we could have avoided this little misunderstanding."
• (Susan Clark) "Come along, Celia. This is no place for a lady."

Stacy Manning as Celia Bradley

• (Stacy Manning) "Mr. Donovan, I gotta go."
• (Bill Bixby) "But you just went."
• (Stacy Manning) "I gotta go again."
• (Bill Bixby) "That's impossible. Go to sleep."
• (Stacy Manning) "I'm gonna have an accident."

• (Stacy Manning) "When Mr. Stockley gets mad, he uses words I've never heard before."

Tim Conway as Amos

• (Tim Conway) "I'm gonna buy some new toes."

• (Tim Conway) "How much money do you figure that dude's got in front of him?"
• (Don Knotts) "About five hundred."
• (Tim Conway) "Five hundred? Wow. You know, that'll be, uh, that's two hundred apiece."

• (Tim Conway) "Uh, still aren't mad 'cause I shot you in the leg, are you, Frank?"

Clay O'Brien as Bobby

• (Clay O'Brien) "Where's your friend?"
• (Don Knotts) "He better be in another county."

• (Clay O'Brien) "Clovis don't like to be touched."

Slim Pickens as Frank Stillwell

• (Slim Pickens) "Anytime you got one of them down-home sheriffs, you always got a town full of vigilantes."

• (Slim Pickens) "If I ever get within shootin' distance of that doggone Amos Tucker, he's gonna have "winders" where his ears was."

Harry Morgan as Homer McCoy

• (Harry Morgan) "Donovan, this is just a half portion of a town, but we do have certain what you might call rules to live by. You don't jump another man's claim; you don't steal his wife, woman or whiskey; you don't strike a bargain and then entertain second thoughts about the matter. Any one of these offenses could make you the exalted guest of honor at a hemp party."

• (Harry Morgan) "I've never teamed two more unlikely prospects. You two go together like ice cream and whiskey. But I guess you'd be man and wife same as regular people, and nobody could say different."

• (Harry Morgan) "Welcome to Quake City, Donovan. Looks like luck is against you."
• (Bill Bixby) "Well, there's one good thing about luck; it always changes. And I got a feeling mine is just around the corner."

• (Harry Morgan) "This court is now in session, the Honorable Homer McCoy presiding. Theodore Ogelvie, Amos Tucker, you're charged with attempted bank robbery. How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?"
• (Don Knotts) "Not guilty?"
• (Harry Morgan) "Guilty."
• (Tim Conway) "That was the wrong one."
• (Harry Morgan) "This court sentences you to be hung by the neck until dead. And I'm fining you an extra ten bucks for perjury. Let 'em out."
• (Harry Morgan) "Be down at the old oak tree near Boot Hill at twelve o'clock sharp for your hanging. And bring your own rope."

Brad Savage as Clovis

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Susan Clark as Dusty

• (Susan Clark) "Donovan? I'm sorry I hit you in the head with the spitoon."
• (Bill Bixby) "A perfectly logical misunderstanding. And I'm sorry I offered to buy you a drink in the saloon, too."
• (Susan Clark) "A perfectly logical misunderstanding."
• (Bill Bixby) "Well, I wouldn't make that mistake again."
• (Susan Clark) "You wouldn't?"
• (Bill Bixby) "Good luck, Dusty."

• (Susan Clark) "Donovan? Yes you, you snake oil salesman. Are you coming out here or am I coming in there?"
• (Bill Bixby) "What's the matter, Dusty? Is there some trouble?"
• (Susan Clark) "Yes, there's trouble all right. And you're in it."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.