The American President Quotes

The American President is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . The American President completed its run in 1970.

It features Rob Reiner as producer, Marc Shaiman in charge of musical score, and John Seale as head of cinematography.

The American President is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The American President is 113 minutes long. The American President is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Michael Douglas as President Andrew Shepherd, Martin Sheen as A. J. MacInerney, Michael J. Fox as Lewis Rothschild, Annette Bening as Sydney Ellen Wade, Anna Deavere Smith as Robin McCall, David Paymer as Leon Kodak, Nina Siemaszko as Beth Wade, Richard Dreyfuss as Bob Rumson, John Mahoney as Leo Solomon, Martin Sheen as A.J., Shawna Waldron as Lucy Shepherd, Joshua Malina as David, Samantha Mathis as Janie, Martin Sheen as A.J. MacInerney, Shawna Waldron as Lucy, and Wendie Malick as Susan Sloan.

The American President Quotes

Anna Deavere Smith as Robin McCall

• (Anna Deavere Smith) "Buenas Dias, Senior Presidente."
• (Michael Douglas) "Too tall McCall, how was Mexico?"
• (Anna Deavere Smith) "I didn't truly appreciate it until I came back and discovered that America isn't a great society?"
• (Michael J. Fox) "He dumped a whole section."

• (Anna Deavere Smith) "Never gone wrong parading you around as a lonely widower. I can't believe I said that, Mr. President that was an completely thoughtless remark. I would never dream of insulting you or the memory of your wife."

• (Anna Deavere Smith) "How do you want me to handle the "Sydney issue?""
• (Michael Douglas) "The "Sydney issue?""
• (Michael J. Fox) "We should have a consensus on how the White House is going to handle it."
• (Michael Douglas) "Well I sure hope the "Sydney issue" refers in some way to a problem we're having with Australia, because if it's anything other than that --"
• (Samantha Mathis) "Mr. President? Ms. Wade is here to see you."
• (Michael Douglas) "Send her in, please. I'm finished here."
• (Samantha Mathis) "Yes, sir."
• (Michael Douglas) "There is no "Sydney issue.""

• (Anna Deavere Smith) "It's Christmas."
• (Michael J. Fox) "It's Christmas?"
• (David Paymer) "Yeah. You didn't get the memo?"

• (Anna Deavere Smith) "I think the important thing is not to make it look like we're panicking."
• (Michael Douglas) "See, and I think the important thing is actually not to BE panicking."

Martin Sheen as A. J. MacInerney

• (Martin Sheen) "I feel a nightmare coming on --"

• (Martin Sheen) "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the Roosevelt Room, giving Lewis oxygen."

• (Martin Sheen) "Excuse me, Mr. President, I just got off the phone with the federal mediator in St. Louis. Management just walked away from the table; the baggage handlers, pilots and flight attendants are all getting set to walk out in forty-eight hours."
• (Michael Douglas) "You know, I studied under a Nobel Prize-winning economist, and you know what he taught me?"
• (Martin Sheen) "Never have an airline strike at Christmas?"

• (Martin Sheen) "Good night, Mr. President."
• (Michael Douglas) "A.J.?"
• (Martin Sheen) "Yes, sir?"
• (Michael Douglas) "When we're out of the office, and alone, you can call me Andy."
• (Martin Sheen) "I beg your pardon, sir?"
• (Michael Douglas) "You were the best man at my wedding, for crying out loud. Call me Andy."
• (Martin Sheen) "Whatever you say, Mr. President."

• (Martin Sheen) "Oh, and Leon, don't be the nice, sweet guy from Brooklyn on this one. Do what the NRA does."
• (David Paymer) "What, scare the s*** out of them?"
• (Martin Sheen) "Exactly."
• (David Paymer) "I can do that."

• (Martin Sheen) "Listen, I'm going to have Janie clear your schedule for the weekend, you need to get some rest"
• (Michael Douglas) "Are you handling me A.J.?"
• (Martin Sheen) "No sir but I will if you don't start taking your head out your ass"
• (Michael Douglas) "Excuse me?"
• (Martin Sheen) "Lewis is right, go after this guy"
• (Michael Douglas) "Has Rumson lied in the past seven weeks?"
• (Martin Sheen) "Has he lied?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Other than not knowing the difference between Harvard and Stanford, has he said something that isn't true? Am I not a Commander in Chief who's never served in the military? Am I not opposed to a Constitution amendment banning flag burning? Am I not a unmarried father who shared a bed with a liberal lobbyist down the hall from his twelve year old daughter?"
• (Martin Sheen) "And you think you're wrong?"
• (Michael Douglas) "I don't think you win elections by telling fifty nine percent of voters that they are"

• (Martin Sheen) "You've said it yourself a million times. If there had been a TV in every living room sixty years ago, this country does not elect a man in a wheelchair."

• (Martin Sheen) "The President doesn't answer to you, Lewis."
• (Michael J. Fox) "Oh, yes he does A.J. I'm a citizen, this is my President. And in this country it is not only permissible to question our leaders it's our responsibility."

• (Martin Sheen) "Oh, you only fight the fights you can win? You fight the fights that need fighting."

• (Martin Sheen) "Sir, it's immediate, it's decisive, it's low-risk, and it's a proportional response."
• (Michael Douglas) "Someday someone's going to have to explain to me the virtue of a proportional response."

• (Martin Sheen) "Excuse me, sir, where are you going?"
• (Michael Douglas) "I'm going over to her house. I'm going to stand outside her door until she let's me in, and I'm not leaving 'til I get her back."
• (Martin Sheen) "How are you going to do that, sir?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Well, I haven't worked that out yet, but I'm sure groveling will be involved."

• (Martin Sheen) "Mr.President, this is an election year. If you're looking for female companionship, we can make certain arrangements that will ensure total privacy."
• (Michael Douglas) "I don't want you to get me a girl, A.J.. What is this, Vegas?"
• (Martin Sheen) "No sir, this is the White House."

Michael J. Fox as Lewis Rothschild

• (Michael J. Fox) "Can I just state very clearly I can't be part of anything illegal."
• (Martin Sheen) "Good for you, Lewis."
• (Michael J. Fox) "Say what you want. It's always the guy in my job that ends up doing 18 months in Danbury minimum security prison."

• (Michael J. Fox) "I tell any girl I'm going out with to assume that all plans are soft until she receives confirmation from me thirty minutes beforehand."
• (Anna Deavere Smith) "And they find this romantic?"
• (Michael J. Fox) "Well, I say it with a great deal of charm."

• (Michael J. Fox) "You have a deeper love of this country than any man I've ever known. And I want to know what it says to you that in the past seven weeks, 59% of Americans have begun to question your patriotism."
• (Michael Douglas) "Look, if the people want to listen to- --"
• (Michael J. Fox) "They don't have a choice. Bob Rumson is the only one doing the talking. People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand."
• (Michael Douglas) "Lewis, we've had presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know the difference."

• (Michael J. Fox) "Who're we calling, sir?"
• (Michael Douglas) "I'm calling the Organization of the United Brotherhood of It's None of Your Damn Business, Lewis. I'll be with you in a second."

• (Michael J. Fox) "At least let the agents do a security sweep. We don't know who's in there."
• (Michael Douglas) "You think there's a florist in there planning an assassination on the the off-chance that I might be stopping by?"
• (Michael J. Fox) "It's possible."

Shawna Waldron as Lucy

• (Shawna Waldron) "My Dad told me to tell you that he's on the phone with his dentist, and that I should behave myself and entertain you until he gets back."
• (Annette Bening) "Oh. Your father's on the phone with his dentist?"
• (Shawna Waldron) "No, he told me to tell you he's on the phone with his dentist. He wants you to think he's a regular guy."
• (Annette Bening) "Oh. Well, who's he on the phone with?"
• (Shawna Waldron) "The prime minister of Israel."

• (Shawna Waldron) "Just be yourself."
• (Michael Douglas) "Be myself."
• (Shawna Waldron) "Yeah, and compliment her shoes. Girls like that."

• (Shawna Waldron) "Do you see it as part of your job to torture me?"
• (Michael Douglas) "No, just one of the perks."

Michael Douglas as President Andrew Shepherd

• (Michael Douglas) "Two-ball on the side."
• (Martin Sheen) "Nice shot, Mr. President."
• (Michael Douglas) ""Nice shot, Mr. President"? You won't even call me by my name when we're playing pool?"
• (Martin Sheen) "I will not do it playing pool, I will not do it in a school. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam I Am."
• (Michael Douglas) "At ease, A.J. At ease."
• (Michael Douglas) "Would; would you get away from the pocket?"
• (Martin Sheen) "I beg your pardon, sir."

• (Michael Douglas) "You have concerns?"
• (Annette Bening) "Yes. Not many. A few. One. I have one concern."
• (Michael Douglas) "This wouldn't have to do with the fact that one of us is president?"

• (Michael Douglas) "Yeah, hi, good morning -- how do I get an outside line?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Well, that was easy."

• (Michael Douglas) "Douglas, does the NRA have video tapes of you playing golf with Satan?"

• (Michael Douglas) "Seven trillion dollar communications system at my disposal, and I can't find out if the Packers won."

• (Michael Douglas) "She's questioning your loyalty."
• (Michael J. Fox) "Hell, I question it all the time."

• (Michael Douglas) "This is NOT the business of the American people."
• (Martin Sheen) "With all due respect, sir, the American people have a funny way of deciding on their own what is and what is not their business."

• (Michael Douglas) "Sydney, Congress doesn't take this long."

• (Michael Douglas) "Listen, are you hungry? I skipped breakfast. You wanna -- have a doughnut? Coffee or something?"
• (Annette Bening) "Sir, I'm a little intimidated by my surroundings. And yes, I have gotten off to a rocky and somewhat stilted beginning, but don't let that diminish the weight of my message. The GDC has been at every president for the last decade and a half that global warming is a calamity the effects of which will be second only to nuclear war. The best scientists in the world have given you every reason to take the GDC seriously, but I'm going to give you one more. If you don't live up to the deal you just made, come New Hampshire we're going to go shopping for a new candidate."
• (Michael Douglas) "You can't do that, Sydney."
• (Annette Bening) "With all due respect, Mister President, who's going to stop me?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Well, if you go through that door, the United States Secret Service. That's my private office."
• (Annette Bening) "Ah."
• (Michael Douglas) "You have to go out that door,"
• (Michael Douglas) "over there."

• (Michael Douglas) "Oh, wait a minute here comes my favorite part."
• (Richard Dreyfuss) "My name is Bob Rumson, and I'm running for President."
• (Michael Douglas) "Sure glad he cleared that up, because that crowd was about to buy some Amway products."

• (Michael Douglas) "Do you think there will ever be a time when you can stand in a room with me and not think of me as the President?"
• (Annette Bening) "This isn't a state of mind. You are the President. And when I'm in a room with you, oval or any other shape, I'm always gonna be a lobbyist, and you're always gonna be the President."
• (Michael Douglas) "I have news for you, Sydney. As a lobbyist, you'd never be alone in a room with the President."

• (Michael Douglas) "You ever been to Camp David?"
• (Annette Bening) "Camp David? Sure, I used to go there all the time, but then they changed chefs."

• (Michael Douglas) "If Mary hadn't died, would we have won three years ago?"
• (Martin Sheen) "Would we have won?"
• (Michael Douglas) "If we had to go through a character debate three years ago, would we have won?"
• (Martin Sheen) "I don't know. But I would have liked that campaign. If my friend Andy Shepherd had shown up, I would have liked that campaign very much."

• (Michael Douglas) "For reasons passing understanding, people do not relate guns to gun-related crime."

• (Michael Douglas) "The White House is the single greatest home court advantage in the modern world."

• (Michael Douglas) "She didn't say anything about me?"
• (Martin Sheen) "Well, she did say you were taller than she thought you'd be."
• (Michael Douglas) "Well, that's something."

• (Michael Douglas) "Listen, I feel terrible about this, but I'm going to have to cancel our date tonight."
• (Annette Bening) "Another woman?"
• (Michael Douglas) "No, I've gotta go to St. Louis to avert a massive airline strike."
• (Annette Bening) "Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that one."

• (Annette Bening) "How'd you finally do it?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Do what?"
• (Annette Bening) "Manage to give a woman flowers and be president at the same time?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Well, it turns out I've got a rose garden."

• (Michael Douglas) "Janie, can you get me the number of a local florist?"
• (Samantha Mathis) "I'll take care of it, sir, where would you like them sent?"
• (Michael Douglas) "No, I want to do it myself. I just need the number."
• (Samantha Mathis) "I don't understand"
• (Michael Douglas) "I want the phone number of a florist."
• (Samantha Mathis) "You just want the phone number?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Yeah."
• (Samantha Mathis) "I don't understand, sir, is there a problem --"
• (Michael Douglas) "Janie, I want to send some flowers. I want to do it myself. I don't want to staff it out, and I don't want to issue and executive order. I just want a phone number."

• (Michael Douglas) "Lewis, however much coffee you drink in the morning, I want you to reduce it by half."
• (Michael J. Fox) "I don't drink coffee, sir."
• (Michael Douglas) "Then hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat, would you please?"

• (Michael Douglas) "Perhaps it would be better if you bill me for the flowers, I'm sure it'll be all right with your boss -- Well, I don't know if you recognize my voice, but this is the president -- Of the United States --. Hello?"

• (Michael Douglas) "What I did tonight was not about political gain."
• (David Paymer) "Yes sir. But it can be, sir. What you did tonight was very Presidential."
• (Michael Douglas) "Leon, somewhere in Libya right now, a janitor's working the night shift at Libyan Intelligence Headquarters. He's going about doing his job -- because he has no idea, in about an hour he's going to die in a massive explosion. He's just going about his job, because he has no idea that about an hour ago I gave an order to have him killed. You've just seen me do the least Presidential thing I do."

• (Michael Douglas) "Two hundred and sixty four million Americans --"
• (Michael J. Fox) "Two hundred and sixty four million Americans don't give a damn about your life, they give a damn about their own, Mr. President, you raised a daughter, almost entirely on your own, and she's terrific so what does it say to you in the past seven weeks, fifty nine percent of Americans question your family values"

• (Michael Douglas) "You're attracted to me, but the idea of physical intimacy is uncomfortable because you only know me as the President. But it's not always going to be that way, and the reason I know that is there was a moment last night when you were with ME, not the President. And I know what a big step that was for you. So, Sydney, I'm in no rush. Here's my plan. We're going to slow down, and when you're comfortable, that's when it's going to happen."
• (Michael Douglas) "Perhaps I didn't properly explain the fundamentals of the slowdown plan."
• (Annette Bening) "No, you explained it great."
• (Michael Douglas) "Are you nervous?"
• (Annette Bening) "No."
• (Michael Douglas) "Good. My nervousness exists on -- several levels. Number one, and this is in no particular order, I haven't done this in a pretty long time. Number two, uh, any expectations that you might have, given the fact that I'm -- you know --"
• (Annette Bening) "The most powerful man in the world?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Exactly, thank you. I think it's important you remember that's a political distinction that comes with the office. I mean, if, uh, Eisenhower were here instead of me, he'd be dead by now -- and number three --"
• (Annette Bening) "Andy --"

• (Michael Douglas) "Do you know what your problem is?"
• (Annette Bening) "What's my problem?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Sex and nervousness."
• (Annette Bening) "Sex and nervousness is my problem?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Yes. Last night when we were looking at those place settings in the Dish Room, I realized those place settings were provided by the first ladies. And I'll bet none of those first ladies were nervous about having sex with their President husbands. And do you know why?"
• (Annette Bening) "No, but I'm sure you'll explain it to me."
• (Michael Douglas) "I will. Because they weren't Presidents when they first met them. That's not the case here."

• (Michael Douglas) "For the last couple of months, Senator Rumson has suggested that being president of this country was, to a certain extent, about character, and although I have not been willing to engage in his attacks on me, I've been here three years and three days, and I can tell you without hesitation: Being President of this country is entirely about character. For the record: yes, I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU. But the more important question is why aren't you, Bob? Now, this is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the question: Why would a senator, his party's most powerful spokesman and a candidate for President, choose to reject upholding the Constitution? If you can answer that question, folks, then you're smarter than I am, because I didn't understand it until a few hours ago. America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free". I've known Bob Rumson for years, and I've been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn't get it. Well, I was wrong. Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Bob's problem is that he can't sell it. We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character. And wave an old photo of the President's girlfriend and you scream about patriotism and you tell them, she's to blame for their lot in life, and you go on television and you call her a whore. Sydney Ellen Wade has done nothing to you, Bob. She has done nothing but put herself through school, represent the interests of public school teachers, and lobby for the safety of our natural resources. You want a character debate, Bob? You better stick with me, 'cause Sydney Ellen Wade is way out of your league."
• (Michael Douglas) "I've loved two women in my life. I lost one to cancer, and I lost the other 'cause I was so busy keeping my job I forgot to do my job. Well, that ends right now. Tomorrow morning, the White House is sending a bill to Congress for its consideration. It's White House Resolution 455, an energy bill requiring a 20 percent reduction of the emission of fossil fuels over the next ten years. It is by far the most aggressive stride ever taken in the fight to reverse the effects of global warming. The other piece of legislation is the crime bill. As of today, it no longer exists. I'm throwing it out. I'm throwing it out writing a law that makes sense. You cannot address crime prevention without getting rid of assault weapons and handguns. I consider them a threat to national security, and I will go door to door if I have to, but I'm gonna convince Americans that I'm right, and I'm gonna get the guns. We've got serious problems, and we need serious people, and if you want to talk about character, Bob, you'd better come at me with more than a burning flag and a membership card. If you want to talk about character and American values, fine. Just tell me where and when, and I'll show up. This is a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up. My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I am the President."

• (Michael Douglas) "Is the view pretty good from the cheap seats, A.J.?"
• (Martin Sheen) "I beg your pardon?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Because it occurs to me that in twenty five years I've never seen YOUR name on a ballot. Now why is that? Why are you always one step behind ME?"
• (Martin Sheen) "Because if I wasn't, you'd be the most popular history teacher at the University of Wisconsin."
• (Michael Douglas) "f*** you."

• (Michael Douglas) "It's sass, right? You're sassin' me."

• (Michael Douglas) "That's a little tight, Luce."
• (Shawna Waldron) "It's supposed to be tight. It's supposed to make you look regal."
• (Michael Douglas) "Is it supposed to cut off the blood flow to my face?"

• (Michael Douglas) "She didn't say anything about me?"
• (Martin Sheen) "No, but I could always pass her a note before study hall."

• (Michael Douglas) "How much do you make?"
• (Annette Bening) "More than you do, Mr. President."
• (Michael Douglas) "The name is Andy. How much money do you make?"
• (Annette Bening) "What the hell does it matter how much money I make?"
• (Michael Douglas) "You raise your voice to the president?"

• (Michael Douglas) "Syd, please, I don't want to lose you over this."
• (Annette Bening) "Mr. President, you got bigger problems than losing me. You just lost my vote."

• (Michael Douglas) "I want to buy her some flowers. That's what men do when they break a date."
• (Anna Deavere Smith) "That's not what men do. I know no men who do that."

Annette Bening as Sydney Ellen Wade

• (Annette Bening) "Bob Rumson's gotta be drooling over this."
• (Michael Douglas) "Are you attracted to me?"
• (Annette Bening) "I beg your pardon?"
• (Michael Douglas) "I asked if you were attracted to me."
• (Annette Bening) "That's not the issue."
• (Michael Douglas) "Well, I tell you what, let's make it the issue. Let's try something new, because I know that most couples when they first get together are inclined to slam on the brakes because they're concerned about Bob Rumson's drool."

• (Annette Bening) "Mr. President -- um -- uh -- I'm sure there's an appropriate thing to say at this moment -- probably some formal apology for the "nice ass" remark would be in order, I just -- I don't quite know how to word it."
• (Michael Douglas) "No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have called you at home. Should I call you at the office tomorrow?"
• (Annette Bening) "No, no, of course not -- I mean, yes, you can call me anytime you want -- this is fine, right now is fine, when I said, "of course not," I meant -- that -- You know what, to hell with it, I'm moving to another country."

• (Annette Bening) "This isn't about me. How can you keep quiet? How do you have patience for people who claim they love America, but clearly can't stand Americans?"

• (Annette Bening) "I regrouped. You have to give me that. I stood in the middle of the Oval Office and made it clear that he who doesn't take the GDC seriously does so at his peril."
• (Nina Siemaszko) "And then you walked out the wrong door."
• (Annette Bening) "Are you going to keep throwing that back in my face for the rest of my life?"
• (Nina Siemaszko) "That's my current plan, yes."

• (Annette Bening) "Why did I have to kiss him?"
• (Nina Siemaszko) "You kissed him? You didn't tell me that. Where did you kiss him?"
• (Annette Bening) "On the mouth."
• (Nina Siemaszko) "Where in the White House?"
• (Annette Bening) "The dish room."
• (Nina Siemaszko) "The dish room?"
• (Annette Bening) "The china room."
• (Nina Siemaszko) "And then what happened?"
• (Annette Bening) "He had to go and attack Libya."
• (Nina Siemaszko) "It's always something."
• (Annette Bening) "Yeah -- I gotta nip this in the bud. This has catastrophe written all over it."
• (Nina Siemaszko) "In what language? Sydney, the man is the leader of the free world. He's brilliant, funny, handsome. He's an above-average dancer. Isn't it possible our standards are just a tad high?"

• (Annette Bening) "I'm in love with you. I'm sure of it, and I want to be with you more than anything in the world but maybe it'd be better for you if I disappeared for a while."

• (Annette Bening) "I don't know how you do it."
• (Michael Douglas) "It's Arthur Murray. Six lessons."
• (Annette Bening) "That's not what I mean. Two hundred pairs of eyes are focused on you with two questions on their minds; who's this girl, and why is the President dancing with her?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Well, first of all, the two hundred pairs of eyes aren't focused on me. They're focused on you. And the answers are Sydney Ellen Wade, and because she said yes."

• (Annette Bening) "Do you do this often?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Well, we had a state dinner for the prime minister of Japan, who died shortly thereafter, so we stopped having them just in case."
• (Annette Bening) "No. I mean, do you date often?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Oh. No. You?"
• (Annette Bening) "Yeah, well, lately I seem to be going out on a lot of first dates."
• (Michael Douglas) "Oh, so you've got experience with this kind of thing."
• (Annette Bening) "Oh yeah, you can ask me anything."
• (Michael Douglas) "So, how are we doing?"
• (Annette Bening) "Ohhh you know pretty much everyday first date kind of stuff --"
• (Michael Douglas) "Darn, and I wanted to be different than the other guys."
• (Michael Douglas) "Oh, by the way, nice shoes."

• (Annette Bening) "If someone had asked me yesterday, I'd have told them that the Quebec Conference is made up of six professional hockey teams."

• (Annette Bening) "Do you think this is a good idea?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Probably not."

• (Annette Bening) "She's wonderful"
• (Michael Douglas) "She's her mother"
• (Annette Bening) "She's you"

• (Annette Bening) "Well then, congratulations. It's only taken you three years to put together crime prevention legislation that has no hope of preventing crime."

• (Annette Bening) "Hello?"
• (Michael Douglas) "Yeah, hi, is this Sydney?"
• (Annette Bening) "Leo?"
• (Michael Douglas) "No, this is Andrew Shepherd."
• (Annette Bening) "Oh. It's Andrew Shepherd. Yeah, you're hilarious, Richard, you're just a regular riot."
• (Michael Douglas) "No, this isn't Richard, this is Andrew Shepherd."
• (Annette Bening) "Oh. Well, I'm so glad you called, because I forgot to tell you today what a nice ass you have. I'm also impressed that you were able to get my phone number given the fact that I don't have a phone. Good night, Richard."
• (Michael Douglas) "Uh, this isn't Richard-"
• (Michael Douglas) "This used to be easier."

David Paymer as Leon Kodak

• (David Paymer) "You see, the country has mood swings."
• (Michael J. Fox) "Mood swings? Nineteen post-graduate degrees in mathematics, and your best explanation for going from a 63 to a 46 percent approval rating in five weeks is mood swings?"
• (David Paymer) "Well, I could explain it better, but I'd need charts, and graphs, and an easel."

• (David Paymer) "Well, you don't see that every day of the week."
• (Michael J. Fox) "He's got the whole White House press corps asking each other how to spell erudite."
• (Martin Sheen) "Better call the printer, Lewis."
• (Michael J. Fox) "I know, we gotta rewrite the State of the Union."
• (Martin Sheen) "Every word, kid. It's a whole new ballgame. You have exactly 35 minutes."
• (Michael J. Fox) "Oh, good, I thought I was gonna be rushed."

Richard Dreyfuss as Bob Rumson

• (Richard Dreyfuss) "Last night, the cost of those liberal programs was raised to include the blood of 22 American soldiers. Now, Mr. Shepherd's read a lot of books, but it doesn't take a Harvard degree to see this one coming a mile down the road."
• (Michael Douglas) "I went to Stanford, you blowhole."

• (Richard Dreyfuss) "I don't even know what we call her. Is she the First Mistress?"
• (Annette Bening) "Oh, man -- my father heard that."

Samantha Mathis as Janie

• (Samantha Mathis) "The 10:15 event has been moved inside to the Indian Treaty Room."
• (Michael Douglas) "10:15 is American Fisheries?"
• (Samantha Mathis) "Yes sir. They're giving you a 200-pound halibut."
• (Michael Douglas) "Janie, make a note. We need to schedule more events where somebody gives me a really big fish."
• (Samantha Mathis) "Yes sir."
• (Michael Douglas) "Janie, I'm kidding."
• (Samantha Mathis) "Of course, sir."

John Mahoney as Leo Solomon

• (John Mahoney) "I hired your reputation, Sydney. I hired a pit bull, not a prom queen."
• (Annette Bening) "That's unfair."
• (John Mahoney) "It's incredibly unfair."

• (Leo's secretary) "Mr. Solomon? This was just delivered by a White House messenger. It's marked perishable."
• (John Mahoney) "The White House has sent me something perishable?"
• (Leo's secretary) "It's for Ms. Wade."
• (John Mahoney) "Oh, here we go."
• (Annette Bening) "Relax, Leo, I'm sure it's just a formality."
• (Leo's secretary) "It's from him."
• (John Mahoney) "Of course it's from him."
• (Annette Bening) "So he had some staff flunky send me a fruit basket."
• (Leo's secretary) "Well, he wrote the note himself."
• (Annette Bening) "I'm sure he didn't take the time to --"
• (Leo's secretary) "The messenger said he waited in the Oval Office for ten minutes while the president wrote the card."
• (Annette Bening) "Okay, listen- it took him ten minutes to write the card?"
• (Leo's secretary) "Apparently he went through several drafts."

Joshua Malina as David

• (Joshua Malina) "We should do some prep work. You want to order in?"
• (Annette Bening) "I can't. I'm having dinner at the White House. So, let's start early tomorrow. Say, 7:30?"
• (Joshua Malina) "Okay. I'm, uh, having lunch at the Kremlin, so we'll have to, you know, start even earlier than that."
• (Annette Bening) "Good night, David."
• (Joshua Malina) "In order for me to catch the morning plane to Moscow."
• (Annette Bening) "Good night, David."

• (Joshua Malina) "We should do some prep work. You wanna order in?"
• (Annette Bening) "Uh, I can't. I'm having dinner at the White House. So let's start early tomorrow morning, say 7:30?"
• (Joshua Malina) "Okay. I'm having lunch at the Kremlin, so we'll have to, you know, start even earlier than that."
• (Annette Bening) "Good night, David."
• (Joshua Malina) "In order for me to catch the morning plane to Moscow."
• (Annette Bening) "Good night, David."

Wendie Malick as Susan Sloan

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