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The Adventures of Mark Twain (1985 film) Quotes

The Adventures of Mark Twain (1985 film) is a television program that first aired in 1970 . The Adventures of Mark Twain completed its run in 1970.

It features Will Vinton as producer, and Billy Scream in charge of musical score.

The Adventures of Mark Twain (1985 film) is distributed by Clubhouse Pictures.

The cast includes: Michele Mariana & Wilbur Vincent as The Mysterious Stranger, Michele Mariana as Becky Thatcher, James Whitmore as Mark Twain, Chris Ritchie as Tom Sawyer, John Morrison as Adam, Carol Edelman as Eve, and Wally Newman as Captain Stormfield.

The Adventures of Mark Twain (1985 film) Quotes

James Whitmore as Mark Twain

  • (James Whitmore) "You look about as disappointed as Presbyterians in Hell."
  • (James Whitmore) "The human race, in all its poverty, has only one truly effective weapon: laughter. Against the assault of laughter; ha-ha-ha-ha.; nothing can stand."
  • (James Whitmore) "That? Oh, that was just a little Writer's Block, that's all."
  • (James Whitmore) "There's no sadder sight than a young pessimist. Except an old optimist."
  • (James Whitmore) "The man with an idea is a fool, until the idea succeeds."
  • (James Whitmore) "Don't worry. Providence protects children, and idiots. I know it's true. I've tested it."
  • (James Whitmore) "It's time."
  • (James Whitmore) "I'm still considering whether to go. I haven't seen an atom of truth that there is a future life."
  • (James Whitmore) "Yet I am strongly inclined to expect one. Anyway, don't be such a sissy in the face of a real adventure."
  • (James Whitmore) "Stormfield's a man of faith. Means he is willing to believe what he knows ain't so."
  • (James Whitmore) "Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody, if he can help it."
  • (James Whitmore) "I will continue on doing my duty, but when I get to the other side, I will use my considerable influence to have the human race drowned again, this time drowned good. No omissions. No ark."
  • (James Whitmore) "Let me see, there are a number of things I want to say to you before I go."
  • (James Whitmore) "Always obey your parents."
  • (James Whitmore) "-- when they are present."
  • (James Whitmore) "Be respectful of your superiors."
  • (James Whitmore) "-- if you have any."
  • (James Whitmore) "Rise early, for it is the early bird that catches the worm."
  • (James Whitmore) "I once knew a man who tried it. Got up at sunrise. Horse bit him."

Chris Ritchie as Tom Sawyer

  • (Chris Ritchie) "Supposing we do die? Is there really a heaven or a hell?"
  • (James Whitmore) "Oh, I don't know about that. I don't wish to express an opinion. You see, I have friends in both places."
  • (Chris Ritchie) "These must be those classics everyone talks about."
  • (Huck Finn) "What are classics?"
  • (James Whitmore) "Something everyone wants to have read but don't want to read."

Michele Mariana & Wilbur Vincent as The Mysterious Stranger

  • (Michele Mariana & Wilbur Vincent) "Life itself is only a vision. A dream. Nothing exists, save empty space and you. And you -- are but a thought."
  • (Huck Finn) "You murdered 'em."
  • (Michele Mariana & Wilbur Vincent) "Never mind them. People are of no value. We could make more sometime -- if we need them."
  • (Michele Mariana & Wilbur Vincent) "Fools. What fascinations there are on this planet. Strange mortals with -- curious customs. We'll have a storm now. And an earthquake if you like. You must stand aside -- out of danger."
  • (Michele Mariana & Wilbur Vincent) "I can do no wrong -- for I do not know what it is."

Michele Mariana as Becky Thatcher

  • (Michele Mariana) "Who are you?"
  • (Michele Mariana & Wilbur Vincent) "An angel."
  • (Huck Finn) "What's your name?"
  • (Michele Mariana & Wilbur Vincent) "Satan."
  • (Huck Finn) "Uh oh."
  • (Michele Mariana & Wilbur Vincent) "What's the matter?"
  • (Huck Finn) "Nothing. Just that it's sure a sorry name for an angel."
  • (Michele Mariana) "How come you want to catch that comet so bad, Mr. Twain?"
  • (James Whitmore) "Oh-ho-ho, the comet and I are part of the plan, angelfish. No doubt the Almighty said here, "There go those two unaccountable freaks. They came into this world together, they must go out together.""
  • (Michele Mariana) "Well, Tom and Huck and l, well, see, we're not so sure --"
  • (James Whitmore) "That l know what l'm doing up here? Angelfish, it's just like piloting a river. You get to know the shape of it. Like following a hall at home in the dark. And even if you feel some fear, you know no harm can come to you because you've traveled that hallway a hundred times in nothing but bare feet and faith."

Wally Newman as Captain Stormfield

  • (Wally Newman) "I think a man has to have his own Heaven to be happy."

Carol Edelman as Eve

  • (Carol Edelman) "What is that?"
  • (John Morrison) "It's a -- valentine."
  • (Carol Edelman) "Valentine? Where did you get that word?"
  • (John Morrison) "It -- looks like a valentine."
  • (Carol Edelman) "It's a good word, and bears repeating."
  • (Carol Edelman) "It looks like a man. I have never seen a man before, but it looks like one. I think it's the most unusual of the reptiles. It has frizzy hair, no hips, and tapers like a carrot, so it must be a reptile, although it could also be architecture."

John Morrison as Adam

  • (John Morrison) "Abel is a good boy, but if Cain had stayed a bear, it would have improved him."
  • (John Morrison) "It's not a fish. It must either be an enigma, or some sort of bug. I never had a thing perplex me so. Perhaps I can take it apart to see what its arrangements are."
  • (John Morrison) "She says things are not right. The buzzard, for instance. She says it was intended to live on decayed flesh. But we cannot overturn the whole scheme to accomodate the buzzard."

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