Support Your Local Sheriff! Quotes

Support Your Local Sheriff! is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Support Your Local Sheriff! completed its run in 1970.

It features William Bowers as producer, Jeff Alexander in charge of musical score, and Harry Stradling Jr. as head of cinematography.

Support Your Local Sheriff! is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Support Your Local Sheriff! is 92 min. long. Support Your Local Sheriff! is distributed by United Artists.

The cast includes: James Garner as Jason McCullough, Walter Brennan as Pa Danby, Bruce Dern as Joe Danby, Henry Jones as Henry Jackson, Willis Bouchey as Thomas Devery, Walter Burke as Fred Johnson, Jack Elam as Jake, Joan Hackett as Prudy, Gene Evans as Tom Danby, Dick Peabody as Luke Danby, and Dick Haynes as Bartender.

Support Your Local Sheriff! Quotes

James Garner as Jason McCullough

• (James Garner) "Well, gentlemen, I think it's only fair to tell you that I'd only be interested in this job on a temporary basis."
• (Henry Jones) "Oh?"
• (James Garner) "Well, you see, actually I was on my way to Australia when I heard about your gold strike and I decided to, uh, travel through here and see if I couldn't pick myself up a little stake."
• (Willis Bouchey) "What do you want to go to Australia for?"
• (James Garner) "Well, it's the last of the frontier country. Thought I might like to do a little pioneering."
• (Walter Burke) "I thought this was frontier country and we was pioneers."
• (Henry Jones) "So did I."

• (James Garner) "Is this the kind of town you people want for yourselves? Is this the kind of life you want to lead? I mean, three killings in one saloon alone. The sun hasn't even gone down yet. Any more of this foolishness, and I'm gonna close this place up tight."

• (James Garner) "It seems like you spent a lot of time with horses."
• (Jack Elam) "One end or the other. Of course, I come about it natural. My daddy stole horses for a living. They hung him."

• (James Garner) "After we're married; no matter how many kids we got; when I say we're off to Australia -- we pack up, kids and all, and off we go."
• (Joan Hackett) "What do I wanna go to Australia for?"
• (James Garner) "Because that's where your husband would be. And girls usually go where their husbands are."

• (James Garner) "But the mayor seemed to think that my qualifications suited the job perfectly."
• (Jack Elam) "Well, he'd have thought that if you were blind in both eyes and crippled in both legs."
• (James Garner) "l think you've got the situation pegged, Jake."

• (Mayor Ollie Perkins) "She's a rich little old gal in her own name, Sheriff. Sole owner of the Millard Frymore Memorial Mining Company."
• (James Garner) "You meanin' whoever marries her gets the mine."
• (Mayor Ollie Perkins) "Shaft and all."

• (James Garner) "Ain't you ever heard of just wounding them?"
• (Joan Hackett) "I only know ONE way to shoot, and that's to kill."

• (James Garner) "Gentlemen, do we have a jail here?"
• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "Do we have a jail? A brand new one with two cells that the whole community pitched in and built last month."
• (Walter Burke) "Just like a barn raising."
• (Henry Jones) "Even the dancehall girls showed up. They made sandwiches and carried on like crazy."
• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "It was designed to be practically escape proof."
• (James Garner) "Well, good, because I think I'm going to have to throw a couple of people in it."
• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "There's only one thing. This new jail is sure got everything."
• (Walter Burke) "Even a new stove with a coffee pot already on it."
• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "The only thing it hasn't got is iron bars for the cells."

• (James Garner) "Jake, how would you like the job as my deputy?"
• (Jack Elam) "I'd hate it. Even if I lived through it, I'd hate it."

• (James Garner) "Well, it may have been a lot of things, but self-defense it wasn't. And he didn't draw first; you did."
• (Bruce Dern) "What do you mean by that?"
• (James Garner) "Oh, it's an old trick. You did it pretty well; not real well; but pretty well. You feinted with your left shoulder, getting him to go for his gun, while you were goin' for yours with your right hand at the same time. It's an old Arizona trick; but I -- I have seen it used as far north as Montana."
• (Bruce Dern) "Are you callin' me a liar?"
• (James Garner) "Well now, you heard every word I said and I didn't call you a liar. All I said was you feinted him into drawin' with your left shoulder while you were goin' for the gun with the right hand."
• (Bruce Dern) "So what?"
• (James Garner) "You beat that poor man to the draw. He's dead and you're alive; that's the whole idea of the game, isn't it?"
• (Bruce Dern) "What's your name?"
• (James Garner) "Jason McCullough. What's yours?"
• (Bruce Dern) "Joe Danby. And you had better remember it."
• (James Garner) "Oh, I'll remember it, Joe. That's about all I'm gonna do the rest of my life is go around rememberin' your name."

• (James Garner) "Well, it seems Joe murdered a man this afternoon."
• (Walter Brennan) "The way I hear'd it, he killed a man in a fair gunfight."
• (James Garner) "I was standing right there."
• (Walter Brennan) "You was standin' right where?"
• (James Garner) "In the saloon when Joe killed him."
• (Walter Brennan) "Well, now that was real smart of him, weren't it?"
• (James Garner) "I've been around Joe all afternoon and I haven't seen him do one smart thing yet."

• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "She's had some terrible shocks this year. She got wealthy almost overnight; I think maybe it unhinged her a little bit. Then she was always kind of big for her age and "pooberty" hit her hard; that'll do it you know."
• (James Garner) "I didn't know that."
• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "Well, it will."
• (James Garner) ""Pooberty""

• (Mayor Ollie Perkins) "I wanted you to meet my daughter, Sheriff. She's a good cook, a mighty fine looking girl. Takes after her dear, departed mother."
• (James Garner) "Mother died, huh?"
• (Mayor Ollie Perkins) "Nope, she just departed."

• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "That must have been some show you put on at the saloon this afternoon. It kind of sobered up the whole town."
• (James Garner) "Well, that's good."
• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "Maybe -- maybe not. It has been a lot of fun around here up to now. I mean, everything all kind of wide-open and relaxed. Nobody looking down their noses at anybody who happened to shoot someone else. Nobody poking their noses into nobody else's business without them getting their big noses blasted off in the process. Ah, I guess now that we got law and order, chuches will start moving in."
• (James Garner) "Yeah, that's usually the next thing that happens."
• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "And then the women will start forming committees and having bazaars. And then they'll chase Madame Orr's girls out of town, or make them get married, or something even worse. But, what the hell, like you said, the law's the law, and we got to face up to it sometime."
• (James Garner) "When did I say that?"

• (James Garner) "You beat that poor man to the draw. He's dead and you're alive. That's the idea of this game, isn't it?"

• (James Garner) "How's Joe?"
• (Jack Elam) "Oh, he figures he's going to be out of here and we're going to be dead about this time tomorrow."
• (James Garner) "Did he seem to feel any sorrow over the fact that we might all be killed?"
• (Jack Elam) "No, it's more like he planned to dance and spit all over our graves."
• (James Garner) "Sounds like Joe."

• (James Garner) "Pretty sloppy shootin,' Jake."
• (Jack Elam) "Well, I was in a hurry to save your life. I wasn't tryin' to group my shots."
• (James Garner) "If you'd have been standing five feet further away, you'd have missed him entirely."

• (James Garner) "Well, when you set out to clean up a mess, you don't just sit around while the mess gets bigger and bigger."

• (Mayor Ollie Perkins) "I guess you know what you're doing, Sheriff."
• (James Garner) "I don't know what I could have said to give you that idea, Mayor."

• (James Garner) "You meaning, whoever marries her gets the mine?"
• (Mayor Ollie Perkins) "Shaft and all."

• (James Garner) "Well, do you see anything?"
• (Jack Elam) "No. What are we lookin' for?"
• (James Garner) "What are we lookin' for? We're lookin' for nuggets, a vein, the mother lode."
• (Jack Elam) "What's the mother lode?"
• (James Garner) "I'm beginning to get the horrible feelin' you know even less about gold mining than I do, Jake."
• (Jack Elam) "Course I don't know anything about gold mining."
• (James Garner) "Well, what do you think I brought you along for? I thought everyone around here knew about mining."
• (Jack Elam) "Well I don't. I might be able to give you a few tips about shoveling horse -- working around the stable, but I don't know nothing about huntin' gold."

• (James Garner) "He won't mind you murdering that man. He just doesn't like for you to get caught, huh?"

Walter Brennan as Pa Danby

• (Walter Brennan) "If that gun had gone off, it'd of blowed right up in my face."
• (James Garner) "Now it wouldn't have done my finger a hell of a lot of good either, would it? What can I do for you, Mr. Danby?"

• (Walter Brennan) "There's always some tramp that's good with a gun that can be hired."
• (Dick Peabody) "Yeah, but you always said that the Danbys fight their own battles."
• (Walter Brennan) "Well, maybe I was talkin' 'bout another branch of the family."

• (Walter Brennan) "Now I'm gonna take a little trip tomorrow and I want you two to behave yourselves while I'm gone. I don't want nobody to make no martyr out of this here sheriff."
• (Gene Evans) "What's a martyr?"
• (Walter Brennan) "Oh, I'm sorry. They didn't use words like that in the third grade, did they?"
• (Gene Evans) "Well, how would I know? I didn't get that far."

• (Walter Brennan) "I don't want nobody to make no martyr out of this here sheriff."
• (Gene Evans) "What's a martyr?"
• (Walter Brennan) "Oh, I'm sorry. They didn't use words like that in the third grade, did they?"
• (Gene Evans) "How would I know? I didn't get that far."

• (Walter Brennan) "What's he supposed to be?"
• (James Garner) "Well, that's my deputy."
• (Walter Brennan) "Why last week he was shovelin' horse -- he was workin' in the stable."
• (James Garner) "Well, he's been promoted."

Jack Elam as Jake

• (Jack Elam) "How come nobody ever heard of you? I mean, a man that can shoot like you do and draw as fast as you can -- how come you ain't got a reputation?"
• (James Garner) "What would I want with a reputation? That's a good way to get yourself killed."

• (Jack Elam) "You want me to tell Joe Danby that he's under arrest for murder? What're you gonna do after he kills me?"
• (James Garner) "Then I'll arrest him for both murders."

• (Jack Elam) "Well, I did odd jobs -- for one thing, I was a Orr holder at Madame Horse's, uh, horse holder at Madame Orr's House."

• (Jack Elam) "I was raised up in Indiana."
• (James Garner) "Well, that could be either good or bad."

• (Jack Elam) "Now the way this story ends -- is that they get married and he goes on to become governor of the state. Never gets to Australia, but he keeps readin' a lot of books about it. I get to be sheriff of this town -- and then I go on to become one of the most beloved characters in Western folklore."

Henry Jones as Henry Jackson

• (Henry Jones) "We are gathered here today to consign the mortal remains of Millard Frymore -- or whatever his name really was. I ain't really got a whole lot to say about Millard because he only rode amongst us two days ago, and was promptly struck down by whatever deadly disease it was struck him down. We can only hope that whatever deadly disease it was, it wasn't particularly contagious. And with that in mind, I suggest we all bow our heads in devout prayer."

• (Henry Jones) "Now just because we've lost three sheriffs don't mean we're going to lose four."
• (Walter Burke) "Our luck is bound to change."
• (Mayor Olly Perkins) "What about his luck?"

• (Henry Jones) "I'd like to remind everyone we're here to consign the remains of Millard Frymore."
• (Walter Burke) "It's gold, Henry."
• (Henry Jones) "Gold?"
• (Walter Burke) "Down there in the grave."
• (Henry Jones) "Well, let's get this coffin out of the way and have a look."

Bruce Dern as Joe Danby

• (Bruce Dern) "He's got a heart as big as the whole outdoors, but he don't have one brain in his poor old head."

• (Bruce Dern) "I hear you're gonna try and arrest me. You know you don't look near as tough as some of them other sheriffs we've had lately. Particularly that old boy that done run off about an hour and a half after he took the job."
• (James Garner) "Joe, you just make me feel tired all over when you talk like that."
• (Bruce Dern) "Now, what do you mean by that?"
• (James Garner) "It's bad enough to have to kill a man without having to listen to a whole lot of stupid talk from him first."

• (Bruce Dern) "Pa, you always told me there wasn't a jail been built that could hold a Danby."
• (Walter Brennan) "Well, now they've built one."
• (Bruce Dern) "Aww."
• (Walter Brennan) "You'll have to stay here for a couple of days."
• (Bruce Dern) "But we run this town."
• (Walter Brennan) "I gotta throw in with that sheriff that you don't exactly dazzle nobody with your intelligence."

• (Bruce Dern) "I'm gonna get you for this, Jake."
• (James Garner) "Well, you are the toughest talkin' blowhard I ever heard."

• (Bruce Dern) "You expect me to sit here in this lousy cell on that --"
• (Bruce Dern) "What is that red stuff all over the floor there?"
• (James Garner) "Oh, uh --"
• (James Garner) "-- that's the poor fella that crossed the line earlier today."

Walter Burke as Fred Johnson

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Joan Hackett as Prudy

• (Joan Hackett) "Have you figured what you're gonna do?"
• (James Garner) "More or less."
• (Joan Hackett) "What?"
• (James Garner) "Oh, I thought I might just leave town. Just get out of town before they ride in; just ride out and keep on goin'."
• (Joan Hackett) "I don't believe it."
• (James Garner) "Well, I don't know why not. I've never made any secret of the fact that basically I'm on my way to Australia. And I don't think I'm gonna find a better time to get started than right now. Besides, uh, I don't like the odds."

Gene Evans as Tom Danby

• (Gene Evans) "Pa, you been touchin' up your hair again?"
• (Walter Brennan) "Whadda ya mean, AGAIN?"
• (Gene Evans) "Nothin'. It just looks better in spots, that's all."
• (Walter Brennan) "Whadda ya mean, SPOTS?"

• (Gene Evans) "You remember when I was stuck all those years in the second grade?"
• (Dick Peabody) "Aw, shut up."

• (Gene Evans) "He stuck his finger in the end of your what?"
• (Walter Brennan) "Will you shut up? Everybody'll be lookin'."

Dick Haynes as Bartender

• (Dick Haynes) "Remember what the sheriff said: no more shootin' till the sun goes down."
• (Unnamed) "Is that what he said?"
• (Dick Haynes) "That's close enough, brother. Drinks are on the house."

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