Stir Crazy (film) Quotes

Stir Crazy (film) is a TV show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Stir Crazy stopped airing in 1970.

It features Hannah Weinstein as producer, Tom Scott (musician) in charge of musical score, and Fred Schuler as head of cinematography.

Stir Crazy (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Stir Crazy (film) is 111 minutes long. Stir Crazy (film) is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Cedrick Hardman as Big Mean, Richard Pryor as Harry Monroe, Gene Wilder as Skip Donahue, Georg Stanford Brown as Rory, Charles Weldon as Blade, Barry Corbin as Warden Walter Beatty, Richard Pryor as Harry, Craig T. Nelson as Deputy Ward Wilson, Lee Purcell as Susan, Miguel Ángel Suárez as Jesus Ramirez, JoBeth Williams as Meredith, Nicolas Coster as Warden Henry Sampson, and Joel Brooks as Len Garber.

Stir Crazy (film) Quotes

Gene Wilder as Skip Donahue

• (Gene Wilder) "The fact is that you were railroaded. Just one more example of a repressive criminal justice system coming down on the bottom layer of society."
• (JoBeth Williams) "Well, I don't know about the bottom part; but, I couldn't agree with you more on the rest."

• (Sheriff) "Would you mind stepping downtown with us and lookin' at some mug shots. Maybe you can identify those guys."
• (Bank Teller) "There they are. The New Yorkers."
• (Gene Wilder) "Is there anything we can do to help?"

• (Gene Wilder) "Did you sleep any better last night?"
• (Richard Pryor) "No. I got a couple of winks between nightmares."

• (Gene Wilder) "It's amazing. There's hardly any family resemblance. No offense."
• (JoBeth Williams) "We're just barely cousins. See, my mother was a French Can-Can dancer and; it's a long story."

• (Gene Wilder) "Is there not some lightning stroke you can use to cut through all this garbage? This isn't funny anymore. Do they know I hate confinement?"

• (Gene Wilder) "I wonder what triggered all that violence? He seems so gentle. I see what it is. Nobody has ever just sat down and honestly talked to that man. Poor kid."

• (Gene Wilder) "We tried to teach him charades. He didn't get it. He just didnt get it."

• (Gene Wilder) "She's not for you."
• (Richard Pryor) "What do you mean, she's not for me?"
• (Gene Wilder) "Harry, Nancy is a fascinating girl. She may be the single hottest girl on the East Side. But, when you wake up in the morning, you'll find that she's not a very serious person."
• (Richard Pryor) "Neither; am; I."

• (Gene Wilder) "I want to get out of this place. Let's go some place. We can just head out west. We could grab odd jobs along the way. Build up a wonderful little nest egg. And then head for Hollywood. That's the place for you and me. Picture it, Harry. Harry and Skip in the Sunbelt. Out there, in the Sunbelt, you just smile and they pour money out on you. And the women. Oh, God. The women. Natural. Robust. Open. Carefree. Uninhibited. Healthy."

• (Gene Wilder) "Alright, now listen to me. A kid tried that stuff at me once at Camp Minneconnie in Vermont and I hit him so hard that his braces ripped the whole upper part of his lip. His mother had to come and get him in the middle of the season."

• (Gene Wilder) "Okay, just picture this. You and me; and two girls. Romping through the desert. Splashing into the ocean. And the moonlight is out. And, we just catch a glimpse of their bodies when the moonlight hits their breasts. And we watch those breasts just bounce gently; to and fro."
• (Richard Pryor) "And sand?"
• (Gene Wilder) "After the water, we go on the sand; but, we'll have a blanket."
• (Richard Pryor) "Seriously, man."
• (Gene Wilder) "You tell me I'm serious. That's what I'm trying to tell ya."
• (Richard Pryor) "Let's go."
• (Gene Wilder) "Okay. California. Here I come."

• (Gene Wilder) "I want a bigger cell. With better ventilation."
• (Craig T. Nelson) "Why? Grossberger been fartin' on ya?"

• (Gene Wilder) "You want to know something that's always fascinated me? Are the prison romances that sometimes spring up between inmates and girls from the outside. Sometimes quite beautiful girls. I mean, would you, for example, could you actually become involved, I mean, romantically, with a prisoner?"
• (JoBeth Williams) "Absolutely not."
• (Gene Wilder) "No, I didn't think so. I was just curious."

• (Gene Wilder) "This filthy, roach-ridden reality is inspiring -- what did that second policeman say to you when he grabbed you by the throat?"
• (Richard Pryor) "Man, I don't f***ing believe you."
• (Gene Wilder) ""Man, I don't f***ing believe you." Fabulous."
• (Richard Pryor) "You don't get it, Skip, do ya? You think this is The Count Of Monte Cristo or something, man? We're in trouble. This is the real deal. We're in deep s***."
• (Gene Wilder) "Harry, you and I are innocent. You know that. I know that. And somewhere outside, the two guys who really pulled that bank job know it too."
• (Richard Pryor) "But, the cops don't know it."

• (Gene Wilder) "Hi. Hello. Excuse me, dear. May I talk with you for just one minute?"
• (Lee Purcell) "Up your kazoo."
• (Gene Wilder) "Up my. Please, I'm not trying to be a pest. I know that you're an actress."
• (Lee Purcell) "Who are you?"
• (Gene Wilder) "My name is Skip Donahue. I'm a playwright and I saw you do a scene from "Romeo and Juliet" at the Wilson Workshop. I want you to know that you were wonderful. I'm not just saying it to be kind. You were really lovely."
• (Lee Purcell) "If you don't get out of my way, I'm going to kick you in the nuts."
• (Gene Wilder) "Kick. In the nuts. You're fantastic. I mean the way you can switch characters like that. The difference between this and your Juliet is fabulous. By the way, dear, I know that you're not wearing anything underneath that coat."
• (Lee Purcell) "What?"
• (Gene Wilder) "I also know that you're a shoplifter, part-time."
• (Lee Purcell) "What are you? Some kind of a looney tune?"
• (Gene Wilder) "No, I'm the store detective, here, part-time."

• (Gene Wilder) "What are you doing?"
• (Richard Pryor) "I'm gettin bad. You better get bad, Jack cause if you ain't bad you're gonna get f***ed."

Richard Pryor as Harry Monroe

• (Sissie) "Harry, what is this?"
• (Richard Pryor) "That's personal."
• (Sissie) "What is it?"
• (Richard Pryor) "That ain't oregano."
• (Sissie) "You put this in the veal?"
• (Cook's Helper) "And the soup."
• (Sissie) "No."
• (Cook's Helper) "And the salad."
• (Sissie) "Lord have mercy."
• (Sissie) "Grass."
• (Richard Pryor) "My grass. Jesus. You cooked half my stash."

• (Richard Pryor) "Do you mind? What'd you kill your step-father for anyway?"
• (Georg Stanford Brown) "Criticizing my new fur jacket -- and -- slapping my hand."

• (Minister) "I'm feeling something very strange."
• (Joy) "That's my leg."
• (Joy) "Oh, that's alright. Hit 'em again, Harry."
• (Richard Pryor) "Yes, ma'am."
• (Richard Pryor) "Hitting again, Father."
• (Minister) "I never felt like this before. I'm; I'm --"
• (Joy) "Horny? That which reminds me, there's something I've always wanted to ask someone like you. Do you get much?"
• (Minister) "Not too often. Just an occasional glass at dinner."
• (Richard Pryor) "That's not what she meant."

• (Young Man in Hospital) "What you in for, brother?"
• (Richard Pryor) "There's got to be some kind of confusion. They say my appendix grew back; but, I had it taken out years ago. What about you?"
• (Young Man in Hospital) "I came in for a hernia operation. They cut off one of my nuts by mistake."
• (Richard Pryor) "Say what."

• (Richard Pryor) "Tell me about the job opportunity."
• (Gene Wilder) "It's in banking."
• (Richard Pryor) "I don't know a darn thing about banking."
• (Gene Wilder) "We don't have to know anything about banking. I've sold the manager on a new promotion idea."
• (Gene Wilder) "Oh, you'll save money, Knock on wood, When you do what a good wood pecker should, Save for a horse or a brand new ranch, When you flock to the Glenboro Savings Branch, You can feather your nest with frills, Fill your garage with coupe de villes, Just relax if you have the big bills --"

• (Korean Doctor) "Mr. Frasier, how you go?"
• (Young Man in Hospital) "That's the cat that did me."
• (Richard Pryor) "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh."
• (Young Man in Hospital) "Make sure you cover up your jewels."
• (Richard Pryor) "Nooo. Ahhhhh."

• (Richard Pryor) "This is '65 African Ganja; from the motherland. Do you understand? It's been soaked in the earth, back home. This is mean. One joint of this put Southern California to sleep back in '65. Did you know there was a revolution in '65? We went to sleep and missed it. Because, of this. This is green. This is bad."

• (Richard Pryor) "That's right. That's right. We bad. That's right. We don't want no s*** either. That's right."
• (Gene Wilder) "Darn right."
• (Richard Pryor) "We don't want not shiiiiiit. You understand. We don't take too much s***. We take a little bit. We don't take a bunch of it."
• (Gene Wilder) "Damn right."
• (Richard Pryor) "That's right."
• (Richard Pryor) "Say, no s***."
• (Gene Wilder) "No; s***."
• (Richard Pryor) "That's right."
• (Richard Pryor) "No s***. Try it again."
• (Gene Wilder) "We don't take no s***."
• (Richard Pryor) "s***."
• (Gene Wilder) "No s***, writ."
• (Richard Pryor) "Shiiit."
• (Gene Wilder) "We ain't s***."
• (Richard Pryor) "You better believe it, baby."

• (Richard Pryor) "A hundred and twenty five years -- Oh God, Oh God -- I'll be a hundred and sixty one when I get out."

• (Richard Pryor) "I'm a clown, see, I shoot the firecrackers and the soda water. There's a little car that pulls up and there's supposed to be like 10 midgets in it. They all get out --"
• (Charles Weldon) "That ain't no rodeo clown. A rodeo clown is the most dangerous job in the world. He's the one that gets closest to the bull. He gets the best of the bull. Hook to the left. Hook to the side. If the bull rider is in danger, he's gotta protect him. Even if it means gettin' his ribs pulled out and bein' freight-trained."
• (Richard Pryor) "Freight-trained."
• (Charles Weldon) "That's right. Run over, just like a freight train, only with a bull, it's worse. Cause a freight train don't back up and finish the job. Later on I'll show you the proper way to lie on the stretcher when they come to pick you up."

• (Sissie) "Mrs. R.H. was my best customer, too."
• (Richard Pryor) "Yeah, well I was James' best customer. That's the guy who sold me this African Ganja '65. Do you understand what you've done to me? My girlfriend, Caroline, just for a little bit of this, was not only going to let me have her mind and her body; but, two of her girlfriends."

• (Richard Pryor) "Walking through the desert, alright. But, I don't see no naked women."

JoBeth Williams as Meredith

• (JoBeth Williams) "Remember the little girl in the bank? She is ready to swear that you weren't the ones in the woodpecker suits when the bank was held up. And she remembers that one of the robbers had a tattoo. She even remembers the design. Neither, neither of you has a tattoo, do you?"
• (Gene Wilder) "No."
• (JoBeth Williams) "Good. I'll check the tattoo artists in the area. Oh, by the way, there's a raunchy strip joint in town where tattooed guys hang out. I'm going to try for a part-time job there."

Barry Corbin as Warden Walter Beatty

• (Barry Corbin) "I want to win that trophy. And I countin' on you to go balls out for it."
• (Gene Wilder) "I only have one speed. Balls out."

• (Barry Corbin) "That boy is very confused. Straighten him out."

• (Barry Corbin) "You're gonna represent Glenboro prison in the annual Top Hand-competition. Congratulations."
• (Gene Wilder) "Oh. Oh my god. Warden. I can't do that."
• (Barry Corbin) "What in the hell are you talking about?"
• (Gene Wilder) "Well, I should have told you in your office. My mother was a veterinarian. I can't have anything to do with the exploitation of animals, she'd turn over in her grave."
• (Barry Corbin) "I don't believe you heard me correctly. This is very important to me."
• (Gene Wilder) "Important to you? My mother is watching over every step I make. Do you know that my soul is on the line here? So let's just drop --"
• (Gene Wilder) "What? I said no. Whoa, I told him no. Ma, are you crazy, I have witnesses -- All right, we'll talk about it in my cell."
• (Gene Wilder) "Uhm -- I have to go to the bathroom. Would you excuse me, warden?"

Charles Weldon as Blade

• (Charles Weldon) "Now every bull has a secret word that makes him crazy, and sends him into his craziest ride, Your job is to figure out that word."
• (Richard Pryor) "Bull -- uh -- let's see. Uh -- rumplestiltskin. Uh -- malt liquor -- come on bull."
• (Richard Pryor) "Come on, bull. Uh -- woof, woof. Uh --"
• (Richard Pryor) "-- hey sexy -- hee-hee -- s***."
• (Richard Pryor) "Oh, you mother-f***er."
• (Charles Weldon) "Congratulations, you found the word."

• (Charles Weldon) "Now, let me explain to you about bulls, okay? A bull is the most evil, disgusting, and crafty sucka in the world. He'll snot on you, fart on you, do anything he can, to mash out your brain. The worst kind of bull, is the one that won't do nothin'. Just stand there. Look at you. That means he's studyin' you. Soakin' up your weak spots and rememberin' 'em for the time he gets to prance on your head."

• (Charles Weldon) "What you doin' joinin' the rodeo? A city dude like you, suckin' up to the Warden."
• (Gene Wilder) "He's not sucking up to the Warden. He's just having a little fun. We showed some aptitude for this, that's all."
• (Charles Weldon) "Aptitude? You hear that?"
• (Georg Stanford Brown) "Why don't you lay off him Blade. The man's just doin' what he gotta do. They were going to cut the dude's nuts off. Ain't that right, Harry?"
• (Richard Pryor) "I don't want to discuss my nuts."

Georg Stanford Brown as Rory

• (Georg Stanford Brown) "That's Blade. He runs the third world side of Cell Block 2. My dear, till Grossberger came along he held the axe murder record in the south-west. He's the one I'm gonna get you the cheeseburger from. How do you like it, medium?"
• (Richard Pryor) "Oh no, I don't want no cheeseburger, I'm trying to, er, keep my weight down."
• (Georg Stanford Brown) "Don't worry about him, I'll protect you. I'll protect you."
• (Richard Pryor) "I'm getting a little podge."
• (Georg Stanford Brown) "For some reason I make him uneasy."
• (Richard Pryor) "I wonder why? Hi"
• (Richard Pryor) ". I'm going."
• (Richard Pryor) "Skip my friend."
• (Richard Pryor) "Excuse me would you?"
• (Georg Stanford Brown) "I'll come with you."
• (Richard Pryor) "Awwwww -- s***."

• (Georg Stanford Brown) "That's Grossberger. The biggest mass murderer in the history of the southwest? My dear, he killed his entire family and all of his relatives in one weekend and then he killed some more people that reminded him of his family."

• (Georg Stanford Brown) "I wouldn't sit with him and I killed my step daddy."

• (Georg Stanford Brown) "What you up for, sweet pants?"
• (Richard Pryor) "We're innocent, man. I swear we are. What do you mean? No, god damn, sweet pants? Oh, s***."

Craig T. Nelson as Deputy Ward Wilson

• (Craig T. Nelson) "Bein' from the East, I thought the kid would be a little softer in the crotch."
• (Barry Corbin) "He's soft alright. You just don't know where to kick him."

Miguel Ángel Suárez as Jesus Ramirez

• (Miguel Ángel Suárez) "They accused me of robbing several banks. But, no way. I was drunk and all; but, I'm positive I only robbed one bank. How about you?"
• (Gene Wilder) "Oh, my friend and I were doing this song and dance act --"
• (Miguel Ángel Suárez) "Oh, must have been pretty bad."

Nicolas Coster as Warden Henry Sampson

• (Nicolas Coster) "How have you been getting along?"
• (Gene Wilder) "Swell. Just swell. A few ups and downs. You know, people see movies about prison life; but, until you've actually spent a little time here, it's hard to get the real flavor of what it's like. I think more Americans should spend a little time behind bars, so they would understand that."
• (Nicolas Coster) "Well, more Americans probably will."

Cedrick Hardman as Big Mean

• (Cedrick Hardman) "What's the charge?"
• (Richard Pryor) "Innocent."
• (Cedrick Hardman) "Ain't we all?"
• (Richard Pryor) "Bank robbery?"
• (Cedrick Hardman) "Oh, s***."
• (Richard Pryor) "Ooooh, s***."
• (Cedrick Hardman) "You can kiss the baby."
• (Richard Pryor) "Kiss the baby?"
• (Gene Wilder) "What baby is that sir?"
• (Cedrick Hardman) "Ask your lawyer."

• (Cedrick Hardman) "Short ass son of a bitch, ain't you?"
• (Richard Pryor) "Oh, I'm a short son of a bitch. My father was a short son of a bitch too. My mother was shorter than him. And my brother was real short and we couldn't even see him. He was a short son of a bitch."

Joel Brooks as Len Garber

• (Joel Brooks) "That's way on the other side of town. We'll never make it."
• (JoBeth Williams) "We have to try, Len. Please. Please shut up and shake your tail."

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