Stay Tuned (film) Quotes

Stay Tuned (film) is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Stay Tuned stopped airing in 1970.

It features James G. Robinson as producer, Bruce Broughton in charge of musical score, and Peter Hyams as head of cinematography.

Stay Tuned (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Stay Tuned (film) is 88 minutes long. Stay Tuned (film) is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: John Ritter as Roy Knable, Pam Dawber as Helen Knable, Jeffrey Jones as Spike, Eugene Levy as Crowley, Lou Albano as Ring Announcer, Heather McComb as Diane Knable, David Tom as Darryl Knable, David Tom as Voice-over in a commercial for Silencer Of The Lambs, Lou Albano as TV Announcer, Heather McComb as Duane, Bob Dishy as Murray Seidenbaum, Erik King as Pierce, and Bob Dishy as Jay.

Stay Tuned (film) Quotes

Pam Dawber as Helen Knable

• (Pam Dawber) "Roy, what do you do when you want the TV to go away? You turn it --"
• (Unnamed) "Off."

• (Pam Dawber) "Dynamite. He's going to hit me with a train AND blow me up? ROY."

• (Pam Dawber) "You wanted to live in a TV fantasy? Well, you got your wish."

• (Pam Dawber) "Where's my husband?"
• (Bob Dishy) "What are you worried about him for? I ditched my wife five channels ago. She happened to meet the business end of a fifty-ton reptile. And I can tell you, I don't exactly miss dried meat loaf."

• (Pam Dawber) "You sadistic bastard."
• (Jeffrey Jones) "Runs in the family. My father was an oil company president."

• (Pam Dawber) "How can you even think of eating doughnuts at a time like this?"
• (John Ritter) "What should I do, look for some oat bran? I'm starved."

• (Unnamed) "Do you know the rules of our game?"
• (Pam Dawber) "What game?"

• (Pam Dawber) "Let me get this straight. We've been sucked into some kind of TV world?"
• (John Ritter) "Are you saying that that salesman was --"
• (Eugene Levy) "Mr. Spike; Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, big brother to the ungrateful dead."

• (Pam Dawber) "Oh, you'll get us out? Your leadership skills couldn't get us out of a T-shirt."

• (Pam Dawber) "Kids, don't try this at home."

Eugene Levy as Crowley

• (Eugene Levy) "We did it. We beat Spike. Oh, I would have given an arm and a leg to see this. In fact, I already did."

• (Unnamed) "By order of the court --"
• (Eugene Levy) "Looks like Spike's gonna make his quota after all. I'm sorry, Mrs. Knable."
• (Unnamed) "-- I deliver the soul of the Marquis de Knable to it's RIGHTFUL OWNER."
• (Jeffrey Jones) "Finally, he's mine."

• (Eugene Levy) "Nice disguise. Interesting concept. Diagonal boobs. Could you fix that thing?"

• (Eugene Levy) "Trust me, Babe, you walked into the right place. Very cushy down here. I mean, you can cool your heels in here for the rest of eternity if you kiss the right ass. And let me tell ya', these lips ain't calloused for nothing."

John Ritter as Roy Knable

• (John Ritter) "Who on earth taught you that?"
• (That student) "Uh, I saw it on TV somewhere. Some old movie."
• (John Ritter) "Take my advice, kiddo. Don't watch too much TV. It can get you into trouble."

• (John Ritter) "Whoever left the gate open is grounded for a week."
• (John Ritter) "Check that. Whoever left the gate open gets double their allowance."

• (Unnamed) "Where have you been?"
• (John Ritter) "Aaaaaahhhh."

• (John Ritter) "Hi, fellas, I loved you in Star Wars."

• (John Ritter) "Now I want you both to stay inside. You just make sure those doughnuts are ready. I'm going to be very hungry when I get back."

• (Unnamed) "Any last requests?"
• (John Ritter) "Yeah, how about the long version of 'Stairway to Heaven'?"
• (Unnamed) "I'm afraid zat is not where you are going."

• (John Ritter) "Roy Knable, private dick. Well, better than being a public dick."

• (One of those soldiers) "Mon cherie, you inflame me."
• (John Ritter) "I never kiss on the first date."
• (One of those soldiers) "Eh?"
• (John Ritter) "Naughty boy."
• (Pam Dawber) "This has been a kick fellas, but we gotta go."
• (The other of those soldiers) "No, No. Come back here, sweetheart."
• (John Ritter) "Hey you keep your hands off her."
• (One of those soldiers) "You hair is so beautiful. May I have a lock of it?"
• (John Ritter) "Why don't you keep the whole thing?"

• (John Ritter) "Jump."
• (Pam Dawber) "Jump?"
• (John Ritter) "Wherever it leads can't be any worse than this. Go."
• (John Ritter) "Yeow."
• (John Ritter) "Umph."
• (Pam Dawber) "Couldn't be any worse, huh, Roy?"
• (John Ritter) "Helen? Oh, my god."
• (John Ritter) "We're cartoons."

• (John Ritter) "Boy, this is strange."
• (Pam Dawber) "Strange? I'm an animated rodent wearing high-heel running shoes. The word "strange" is somehow lacking."

• (John Ritter) "This will put a permanent crease in his shorts."

• (John Ritter) "You creeps."
• (Heather McComb) "Uh-oh. Extreme close-up on Mr. Knable."
• (Unnamed) "Oh."

• (John Ritter) "Deeb-a-deeb-a-deeb; that's all folks."

• (John Ritter) "Where are you going to go, your cartoon mother's house?"

• (John Ritter) "For a mouse, you, um, look pretty sexy."
• (Pam Dawber) "Too bad you didn't like the way I looked when I was human."
• (John Ritter) "I always did."
• (Pam Dawber) "News to me."

• (John Ritter) "At least we're safe here. No one ever dies in cartoons, right?"

• (John Ritter) "Holy Shatner."

Heather McComb as Diane Knable

• (Heather McComb) "What are you doing?"
• (David Tom) "Did you see that? That dish, it ate my BMX."
• (Heather McComb) "Is this some sort of male puberty thing?"

• (Heather McComb) "All right. Welcome to Duane's Underworld, O Father of Lies. I'm your excrement host Duane, and with me as always is my only slightly decaying co-host Garf."
• (Unnamed) "Wifto."

• (Heather McComb) "All right. Now, I understand you're searching for your lovely wife Helen -- who I truly believe you will find, because good always conquers over evil --"
• (Unnamed) "Not."

• (Heather McComb) "Bogus."

Lou Albano as TV Announcer

• (Lou Albano) "No holds barred. No transfusions allowed."

• (Unnamed) "I've lost the feeling in my arm."
• (Unnamed) "All of a sudden, I can't see anything."
• (Lou Albano) "Sundays at 8:00 -- Different Strokes."

• (Lou Albano) "Welcome to Northern Overexposure, the story of a young doctor from New York who comes to Alaska, complains about everything, and freezes to death."

• (Lou Albano) "How did James Dean really die? Find out tonight on Autopsies Of The Rich And Famous."

• (Lou Albano) "It's My Three Sons Of Bitches."

• (Lou Albano) "In this corner, Roy "The Couch Potato" Knable and his wife Helen The Heroin."

Jeffrey Jones as Spike

• (Jeffrey Jones) "Crowley. Quite a radical weight-loss plan you've been on."

• (Jeffrey Jones) "Ew, you're the ugliest bitch in perdition; but you've given me a beautiful idea."

• (Jeffrey Jones) "My, my. Now you'll never get back to Kansas."
• (Jeffrey Jones) "En garde."
• (Jeffrey Jones) "Oh, no sword. Have to talk to that prop man."
• (Jeffrey Jones) "Right about now, your wife is probably catching that train -- right between the eyes. And you let it happen."
• (David Tom) "Here it comes, Dad."
• (Jeffrey Jones) "I've taken loads of souls -- and none more pathetic than yours, Roy. Say good night, Gracie."
• (John Ritter) "Not yet."
• (John Ritter) "You see, I was captain of my junior college fencing team. All right. Co-captain."

• (Jeffrey Jones) "This just in -- Helen Knable has been kidnapped and taken to Channel 1. We take you there live."
• (Pam Dawber) "Roy, I don't know where you are, but get your butt back here."
• (Jeffrey Jones) "Unfortunately, her gutless failure of a husband won't lift a finger to save her. Isn't that right, Roy?"
• (John Ritter) "No."

• (Jeffrey Jones) "Wait a sec -- you don't get it, do you? Without me, you don't get out of here."
• (John Ritter) "Sorry, Spike, you're cancelled."

• (Jeffrey Jones) "Make your move, tinhorn."
• (Pam Dawber) "Today, Roy."

David Tom as Darryl Knable

• (Unnamed) "Oh. These kids are driving me crazy."
• (Unnamed) "I wish there was some way to shut them up."
• (David Tom) "For those long, tedious car trips, you need --"
• (David Tom) "The Silencer of the Lambs. Driving will never be the same. "The Silencer of the Lambs"."
• (David Tom) "Silencer of the Pets sold separately."

• (David Tom) "Dad, can you hear me?"
• (John Ritter) "Darryl? My God."
• (One of the infidels) "God?"
• (Pam Dawber) "Yes. It's -- God."

Bob Dishy as Jay

• (Bob Dishy) "All I wanted was to be the big shot for once. Take my remote."

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