Stand by Me (film) Quotes

Stand by Me (film) is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Stand by Me completed its run in 1970.

It features Bruce A. Evans, and Andrew Scheinman as producer, Jack Nitzsche in charge of musical score, and Thomas Del Ruth as head of cinematography.

Stand by Me (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Stand by Me (film) is 88 minutes long. Stand by Me (film) is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Wil Wheaton as Gordie, River Phoenix as Chris, Corey Feldman as Teddy, Jerry O'Connell as Vern, Kiefer Sutherland as Ace, Scott Beach as Mayor Grundy, Andy Lindberg as Lardass Hogan, William Bronder as Milo, Gary Riley as Charlie Hogan, Marshall Bell as Mr. Lachance, Bradley Gregg as Eyeball, Casey Siemaszko as Billy Tessio, and Jason Oliver as Vince Desjardins.

Stand by Me (film) Quotes

Wil Wheaton as Gordie

• (Wil Wheaton) "Is it loaded?"
• (River Phoenix) "s*** no. What do you think I am?"
• (River Phoenix) "JESUS."

• (Wil Wheaton) "Maybe you could come into the college courses with me."
• (River Phoenix) "Yeah right, that'll be the day."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Why not? You're smart enough."
• (River Phoenix) "They won't let me."
• (Wil Wheaton) "What do you mean?"
• (River Phoenix) "It's what everyone thinks of my family in this town. It's what they think of me. I'm just one of those low-life Chambers kids."
• (Wil Wheaton) "That's not true."
• (River Phoenix) "Oh wait, it is. No one even asked me if I took the milk money that time. I just got a three day vacation."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Did you take it?"
• (River Phoenix) "Yeah, I took it. I mean, you knew I took it. Teddy knew I took it. Everyone knew I took it. Even Vern knew it, I think. But maybe I was sorry and I tried to give it back."
• (Wil Wheaton) "You tried to give it back?"
• (River Phoenix) "Maybe. Just maybe. And maybe I took it to Old Lady Simmons and told her, and the money was all there. But I still got a three day vacation because it never showed up. And maybe the next week, Old Lady Simmons had this new suit on when she came to school."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Yeah, yeah. It was brown and it had dots on it."
• (River Phoenix) "Yeah. So let's just say that I stole the milk money, but Old Lady Simmons stole it back from me. Just say that I told this story. Me, Chris Chambers. Kid brother to Eyeball Chambers. Do you think that anyone would've believed it?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "No."
• (River Phoenix) "And do you think that that bitch would have dared try something like that if it had been one of those douchebags from up on the view, if they had taken the money?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "No way."
• (River Phoenix) "Hell no. But with me? -- I'm sure she had her eye on that skirt for a long time. Anyway, she saw her chance, and she took it. I was the stupid one for even trying to give it back."
• (River Phoenix) "I just never thought a teacher -- Oh, who gives a f*** anyway? I just wish -- that I could go some place -- where nobody knows me. I guess I'm just a p*****, huh?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "No way. No way."

• (Wil Wheaton) "-- the main guy of the story is a fat kid that nobody likes named Davie Hogan."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Like Charlie Hogan's brother. If he had one."
• (River Phoenix) "Good Vern. Go on, Gordie."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Well this kid is our age but he's fat. Real fat. He weighs close to one-eighty. But you know, it's not his fault. It's his glands."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Oh yeah, my cousin's like that, sincerely. She weighs over three hundred pounds. Supposed to be Hyboid Gland or something. Well, I don't know about any Hyboid Glands, but what a blimp. No s***. She looks like a Thanksgiving turkey. And you know this one time --"
• (River Phoenix) "Shut up, Vern."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Yeah, yeah, right. Go on, Gordie, it's a swell story."

• (Wil Wheaton) "f*** writing, I don't want to be a writer. It's stupid. It's a stupid waste of time."
• (River Phoenix) "That's your dad talking."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Bulls***."
• (River Phoenix) "Bull true."
• (River Phoenix) "I know how your dad feels about you. He doesn't give a s*** about you. Denny was the one. He cared about and don't try to tell me different. You're just a kid, Gordie."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Oh, gee. Thanks, Dad."
• (River Phoenix) "Wish the hell I was your dad. You wouldn't be goin' around talkin' about takin' these stupid shop courses if I was. It's like God gave you something, man, all those stories you can make up. And He said, "This is what we got for ya, kid. Try not to lose it." Kids lose everything unless there's someone there to look out for them. And if your parents are too f***ed up to do it, then maybe I should."

• (Wil Wheaton) "Shut up."
• (Corey Feldman) "I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up."

• (Wil Wheaton) "Piss up a rope."

• (Wil Wheaton) "Do you think I'm weird?"
• (River Phoenix) "Definitely."
• (Wil Wheaton) "No man, seriously. Am I weird?"
• (River Phoenix) "Yeah, but so what? Everybody's weird."

• (Wil Wheaton) "Well, all the kids, instead of calling him Davie, they call him Lardass. Lardass Hogan. Even his little brother and sister calls him Lardass. At school, they put a sticker on his back that says "Wide-Load". And they rank him out and beat him up whenever they get a chance. But one day, he gets an idea; a greatest revenge idea, a kid ever had."

• (Wil Wheaton) "Why did he have to die, Chris? Why did Denny have to die?"
• (River Phoenix) "I don't know."
• (Wil Wheaton) "It should've been me."
• (River Phoenix) "Don't say that."
• (Wil Wheaton) "It should've been me."
• (River Phoenix) "Don't say that, man."
• (Wil Wheaton) "I'm no good. My dad said it. I'm no good."
• (River Phoenix) "He doesn't know you."
• (Wil Wheaton) "He hates me."
• (River Phoenix) "He doesn't hate you."
• (Wil Wheaton) "He hates me."
• (River Phoenix) "No. He just doesn't know you."

• (Wil Wheaton) "Alright, alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy?"
• (Jerry O'Connell) "If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy-Pez. Cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it."
• (Corey Feldman) "Goofy's a dog. He's definitely a dog."
• (Wil Wheaton) "I knew the $64,000 question was fixed. There's no way anybody could know that much about opera."
• (River Phoenix) "He can't be a dog. He drives a car and wears a hat."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Wagon Train's a really cool show, but did you notice they never get anywhere? They just keep wagon training."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Oh, God. That's weird. What the hell is Goofy?"

• (Wil Wheaton) "But you didn't miss him. Chris Chambers never misses, does he?"
• (River Phoenix) "Not even when the ladies leave the seat down."

• (Wil Wheaton) "Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood."

Jerry O'Connell as Vern

• (Jerry O'Connell) "Any of you guys know when the next train is due?"
• (River Phoenix) "We could go down to the route 1-36 bridge."
• (Corey Feldman) "What are you, crazy? That's 5 miles down the river, you go 5 miles down the river you gotta walk 5 miles back. That could take 'til dark. We go across here we can get to the same place in 10 minutes."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Yeah, but if a train comes there's nowhere else to go."
• (Corey Feldman) "No there isn't, we just jump."
• (River Phoenix) "Teddy, it's 100 feet."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Yeah, Teddy."
• (Corey Feldman) "Look, you guys can go around if you want to, I'm crossing here, and when you guys are dragging your candy asses half way across the state and back, I'll be waiting for you on the other side relaxing with my thoughts."
• (Wil Wheaton) "You use your left hand or your right hand for that?"
• (Corey Feldman) "You wish."

• (Jerry O'Connell) "Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?"
• (Corey Feldman) "What are you, cracked?"
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Why not? I saw the other day. He was carrying five elephants in one hand."
• (Corey Feldman) "Boy, you don't know nothing. Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy. There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Yeah, maybe you're right. It'd be a good fight, though."

• (Jerry O'Connell) "Nothing like a smoke after a meal."
• (Corey Feldman) "Yeah -- I cherish these moments."
• (Corey Feldman) "What? What did I say?"

• (Jerry O'Connell) "You guys wanna go see a dead body?"

• (Jerry O'Connell) "I wasn't that scared. I wasn't. Sincerely."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Okay. Then you won't mind if we check the seat of your jockies for Hershey squirts, will you?"
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Go screw."

• (Jerry O'Connell) "Ha-ha. You flinched. Two for flinching. Two for flinching."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "-- B-but -- you flinched."
• (Corey Feldman) "I know. Two for flinching."

• (Jerry O'Connell) "Geez, Gordie. Why couldn't you have gotten breakfast stuff? Like Twinkies and Pez and Root Beer?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "Sorry, Vern. I guess a more experienced shopper could have gotten more for your seven cents."

• (Jerry O'Connell) "There's one thing I didn't understand. Did Lardass have to pay to get in the contest?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "No, Vern. They just let him in."

Bradley Gregg as Eyeball

• (Bradley Gregg) "You let him beat you, you cock-knocker. Ha ha ha."

• (Bradley Gregg) "s***. When they gonna give up? The kid's gone. They ain't never gonna find him."
• (Gary Riley) "Not where they're looking."
• (Casey Siemaszko) "Hey, Eyeball's right, Charlie. They ain't never gonna find him."
• (Bradley Gregg) "Would you hold still? You're making me f*** up the snake part."
• (Jason Oliver) "I'll tell you how they're gonna find him. Ten years from now, some hunter's gonna go in the woods to take a leak, wind up pissing on his bones."
• (Gary Riley) "I bet you a thousand bucks they'll find him before then."
• (Bradley Gregg) "Bet you two thousand dollars they don't."
• (Gary Riley) "Well, asshole --"
• (Casey Siemaszko) "Hey, what's the big deal? Who cares?"
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "Will you two just shut the f*** up? If either of you assholes had two-thousand dollars, I'd kill you both."

• (Bradley Gregg) "So, what's with you and this Connie Palermo chick?"
• (Casey Siemaszko) "I've been seeing her for over a month now and all she'll let me do is feel her tits."
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "She's a Catholic, man. There'll all like that. If you wanna get laid, you gotta get yourself a Protestant. A Jew's good."

• (Bradley Gregg) "Hey girls, where ya goin'?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "Hey, my brother gave me that."
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "Now, you're giving it to me."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Hey. C'mon, man. That's mine."
• (River Phoenix) "You're a real asshole, you know that?"
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "Ooo. You're brother's not very polite, Eyeball."
• (Bradley Gregg) "Now, Christopher. I know you didn't mean to insult my friend."
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "I know he didn't mean to insult me. That's why I'm going to give him the chance of taking it back."
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "Take it back, kid."
• (River Phoenix) "You bastard. Let go, man. s***."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Stop it, man. You're hurting him."
• (River Phoenix) "Filthy bastard --. Okay, I take it back. I take it back."
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "Now, I feel a whole let better about this. How 'bout you?"
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "Good."
• (Bradley Gregg) "See ya later, girls."

River Phoenix as Chris

• (River Phoenix) "Skin it."

• (River Phoenix) "I'm never gonna get out of this town am I, Gordie?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "You can do anything you want, man."
• (River Phoenix) "Yeah, sure. Give me some skin."
• (Wil Wheaton) "I'll see ya."
• (River Phoenix) "Not if I see you first."

• (River Phoenix) "Maybe, we should take Gordie back."
• (Corey Feldman) "Oh, great, Chambers. Now, you're turning p***** too."
• (River Phoenix) "What's your problem, Duchamp? He had a leech hanging from his balls, he fainted."
• (Corey Feldman) "What are you, his mother?"
• (River Phoenix) "Eat s***."
• (Corey Feldman) "You eat s***."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Hey, hey, hey. I think Chris is right, let's just go back."
• (Corey Feldman) "What a surprise. The king of the pussies wants to go back too."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Stop calling me that."
• (Corey Feldman) "Well, p*****."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Stop it."
• (Corey Feldman) "p*****."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Stop."
• (Corey Feldman) "p*****, p*****, p*****, p*****."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "You four-eyed psycho."
• (Corey Feldman) "Get off me."
• (Jerry O'Connell) "Two for flinching, you like it? Huh? Do I get two for flinching? You like it, Teddy?"
• (River Phoenix) "Come on, guys. Break it up."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Stop it -- stop it."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Stop it."
• (Wil Wheaton) "I'm not going back."

• (River Phoenix) "You wanna be the Lone Ranger, or the Cisco Kid?"

• (River Phoenix) "You're gonna be a great writer someday, Gordie. You might even write about us guys if you ever get hard-up for material."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Guess I'd have to be pretty hard-up, huh?"

• (River Phoenix) "How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your backyard?"
• (Corey Feldman) "Hey, I'm French, okay?"
• (River Phoenix) "Your garbage cans are empty and your dog's pregnant."
• (Corey Feldman) "Didn't I just say I was French?"

• (River Phoenix) "I'm never gonna get out of this town am I, Gordie?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "You can do anything you want, man."
• (River Phoenix) "Yeah, sure. Give me some skin."
• (Wil Wheaton) "I'll see ya."
• (River Phoenix) "Not if I see you first."

• (River Phoenix) ""Suck my fat one"? Whoever told you that you had a fat one, Lachance?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "Biggest one in four counties."

• (River Phoenix) "I knock."
• (Corey Feldman) "What? You liar. You ain't got no pat hand. You didn't deal yourself no pat hand."
• (River Phoenix) "Make your draw, s***-heap."

Kiefer Sutherland as Ace

• (Kiefer Sutherland) "We're gonna get you for this."
• (River Phoenix) "Maybe you will, maybe you won't."
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "Oh, we will."

• (Kiefer Sutherland) "You wasn't planning on taking the body from us, were you, boys?"
• (River Phoenix) "You get away. We found him. We got dibs."
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "We better start running, eyeball. They got dibs."
• (River Phoenix) "We earned him. You guys came in a car. That's not fair. He's ours."
• (Bradley Gregg) "That's not fair. He's ours. Well, not anymore"
• (Corey Feldman) "The four of us, eyeball. You just make your move."

• (Kiefer Sutherland) "What are you gonna do? Shoot us all?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "No, Ace. Just you."

• (Kiefer Sutherland) "You got two choices. You leave quietly, we take the body. Or, you can stay, we beat the s*** out of you, we take the body."

Marshall Bell as Mr. Lachance

• (Marshall Bell) "It should've been you, Gordie."

• (Marshall Bell) "Why can't you have friends like Denny's?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "Dad, they're okay."
• (Marshall Bell) "Sure they are. A thief and two feebs."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Chris isn't a thief."
• (Marshall Bell) "He stole the milk money at school. He's a thief in my book."

Gary Riley as Charlie Hogan

• (Gary Riley) "Besides, me and Billy found him first."
• (Corey Feldman) "Yeah, Vern told us how you found him."
• (Corey Feldman) "Oh Billy, I wish we'd never boosted that car. Oh Billy, I think I just turned my Fruit-of-the-Looms into a fudge factory."

• (Gary Riley) "I still think we should call the cops."
• (Casey Siemaszko) "You don't go squawkin' to the cops when ya boosted a car, you idiot. They're gonna wanna know how we got all the way out on the Back Harlow Road. Now, they know we ain't got no car. It's best we just keep our mouths shut, and then they can't touch us."
• (Gary Riley) "We could make a 'nonymous call."
• (Casey Siemaszko) "They trace those calls, stupid. I seen it on "Highway Patrol" and on "Dragnet.""

William Bronder as Milo

• (William Bronder) "Chopper. Sic'em, boy."
• (The Writer) "Now he said, "Sic'em, boy." But what I heard was, "Chopper. Sic balls.""
• (Wil Wheaton) "That's Chopper?"
• (Corey Feldman) "Ha ha ha. Come on, Choppy. Bite my ass, Choppy. Bite my ass. Bite s***. Come on, Choppy. Sic balls, Choppy."
• (William Bronder) "Stop teasing that dog, you hear me. Stop teasing him. Sonny, I'm gonna beat your ass, teasing my dog like that."
• (Corey Feldman) "Yeah? I'd like to see you climb over this fence and get me, fat ass."
• (William Bronder) "Don't you call me that, you little tin weasel peckerwood looney's son."
• (Corey Feldman) "What did you call me?"
• (William Bronder) "I know who you are. You're Teddy Duchamp. Your dad's a looney. A looney up in the nuthouse in Togus. He took your ear and he put it to a stove and burnt it off."
• (Corey Feldman) "My father stormed the beach at Normandy."
• (William Bronder) "He's crazier than a s***house rat. No wonder you're acting the way you are with a looney for a father."
• (Corey Feldman) "You call my dad a looney again, I'll kill you."
• (William Bronder) "Looney, looney, looney."
• (Corey Feldman) "I'm gonna rip your head off and s*** down your neck."

Corey Feldman as Teddy

• (Corey Feldman) "That was the all-time train dodge. Too cool. Vern, you were so scared you looked like that fat guy, Abbott Costello, when he saw the mummy."

• (Corey Feldman) "I don't need no babysitter."
• (River Phoenix) "You do to."

• (Corey Feldman) "Okay, you guys can go around if you want. I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses half way across the state and back, I'll be waiting on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts."
• (Wil Wheaton) "You use your left hand or right hand to do that?"
• (Corey Feldman) "You wish."

• (Corey Feldman) "Two for flinching."

• (Corey Feldman) "He ranked my old man."

• (Corey Feldman) "Did your mother have any kids that lived?"
• (Jerry O'Connell) "What do you mean?"

• (Corey Feldman) "I'm sorry if I'm spoiling everybody's good time."
• (River Phoenix) "It's okay, man."
• (Wil Wheaton) "I'm not sure it should be a good time."
• (River Phoenix) "You saying you wanna go back?"
• (Wil Wheaton) "No. We're going to see a dead kid -- maybe it shouldn't be a party."

• (Corey Feldman) "You die, Chambers."

Casey Siemaszko as Billy Tessio

• (Casey Siemaszko) "Hey, Ace, uh -- maybe me and Charlie shouldn't go."
• (Gary Riley) "Yeah, maybe you guys could go without us."
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "You guys are like my grandmother having a conniption fit. I don't see your problem. We brought a whole bunch of fishing gear, and if a cop asks us what we're doing here, we're just here to take a couple steelhead out of the river, and look what we found."
• (Jason Oliver) "Yeah. Come on, man, we're gonna be famous. We're gonna be on every radio and TV show in the country."
• (Gary Riley) "I still don't think we should go."
• (Kiefer Sutherland) "Okay -- okay -- you've stated your position clearly. Now I'm gonna state mine: get in the f***ing car, now."

Scott Beach as Mayor Grundy

• (Scott Beach) "Don't pay any attention to those fools, Lardass-er, I mean Davy."

• (Unnamed) "Boom-baba-boom-baba --"
• (Unnamed) "Boom-baba-boom-baba-boom."
• (Scott Beach) "And now, the one you've all been waiting for, the four-time champion, our own, Bill Travis."
• (Scott Beach) "Listen, I got ten ridin' on you myself, Billy-boy."
• (Scott Beach) "Alright, are you ready? Hands behind your backs, gentlemen. Drum roll."
• (Donelley Twin) "Hey, Lardass. Chow down, Wide Load."
• (Scott Beach) "Heh-heh-heh -- GO."
• (Andy Lindberg) "Done."
• (Andy Lindberg) "Done."
• (Bill Travis) "Done."
• (Andy Lindberg) "Done."
• (Scott Beach) "You better pace yourself if you wanna hold out, boy."
• (Unnamed) "Lardass. Lardass."
• (Wil Wheaton) "What the audience didn't know was that Lardass wasn't really interested in winning. What he wanted was revenge, and right before he was introduced he'd gotten ready for it."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Diving into his fifth pie, Lardass began to imagine that he wasn't eating pies. He pretended he was eating cow-plops, and rat guts in blueberry sauce."
• (Unnamed) "Lardass. Lardass."
• (Andy Lindberg) "Done."
• (Wil Wheaton) "Slowly, a sound started to build in Lardass' stomach. A strange and scary sound, like a log truck coming at you at a hundred miles-an-hour. Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth, and before Bill Travis knew it --"
• (Wil Wheaton) "-- he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's tits. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lardass' plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he'd created-a complete and total barf-o-rama."
• (River Phoenix) "Yeah."

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