South Park Quotes

South Park is a Animated sitcom that first aired in 1997 on Comedy Central. South Park completed its run in 1970.

South Park aired for 22 seasons. It features Vernon Chatman as producer, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Mary Kay Bergman; Isaac Hayes; Eliza Schneider; Mona Marshall; April Stewart doing voices, Primus (band) as theme composer, and Adam Berry, Scott Nickoley, and Jamie Dunlap as composer. South Park is executive produced by Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Brian Graden, Deborah Liebling, Frank C. Agnone II, Bruce Howell, and Anne Garefino. South Park is created by Trey Parker; Matt Stone.

South Park is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of South Park is 22 minutes long. South Park is produced by Unbulleted list Celluloid Studios (1997) Braniff Productions (1997-2006) Parker-Stone Productions (2006-2007) South Park Studios (2007-present) Comedy Partners and distributed by Viacom Media Networks.

South Park Quotes

• (Randy Marsh) "Refreshments were available, yes."

• (Priest Maxi) "Boys, I haven't seen you in church lately."
• (Kyle) "Well, I'm Jewish."
• (Priest Maxi) "You're not too Jewish to worship Jesus, are you?"
• (Kyle) "I guess not."

• (Eric Cartman) "Come on Kyle. Just because your mom is a bitch doesn't mean that we all have to suffer."

• (Token Williams) "Jesse Jackson is not the emperor of black people."
• (Stan) "He told my dad that he is --"

• (Butters) "Fellas."

• (Cartman) "You so much as TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants."
• (Stan) "Jesus, Cartman."
• (Cartman) "Well, I'm just sayn', man, seriously, don't mess with kitty, man."

• (Unnamed) "I think they ate the 'Member Berries."

• (Stan) "Oh, my God, we killed Kenny."
• (Kyle) "We killed Kenny?"
• (Stan) "Yup. We're bastards."

• (Unnamed) "Hey, hey, what's shakin' Rudy?"
• (Unnamed) "Man, Fat Abbott. You need to lose weight."
• (Unnamed) "I lose weight when I feel like it bitch. Shut your bitch ass mouth, ho."

• (Cartman) "OK, that's enough fat-ass jokes for this week."

• (Garrison) "Just remember, there are no stupid questions, only stupid people."

• (Unnamed) "I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time."
• (Kyle) "Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation."
• (Unnamed) "I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind."
• (Cartman) "Ample parking day or night, people spouting: "Howdy, neighbor.""
• (Unnamed) "I'm headin' down to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind."
• (Unnamed) "So come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine."

• (Mr. Slave) "Oh. I never should have shoved all those poor animals up my ass."

• (Randy Marsh) "If Saddam Hussein is making weapons then we have to stop him -- with our weapons."

• (Cartman) "The rest of you go get the goods on Stan. His mom grounded him once for setting something on fire. Let's find out what that something was and then lie and say it was a puppy."

• (Stan) "I have a button we can use for his nose."
• (Kyle) "What would we use a marble-sack for?"

• (Timmy) "TIMAH."

• (Cartman) "Oh, look what I did with Kyle's money. I had it changed into singles so I could roll around in it like this. Oh, Kyle's money."

• (Butters) "This is just like Vietnam, huh fellas? Whoopee."

• (Stan) "Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty."

• (Stan) "Oh my god. They killed Kenny."
• (Kyle) "You bastard."

• (Kenny) "And what I think, basically, is that when you let what you watch be under your parents' control, television sucks. Television sucks because parents get offended because they rely on television as a babysitter for their kids."
• (Stan) "Totally, dude."
• (Kyle) "Good point, man."

• (Mr. Garrison) "What do you think, Mr. Marsh? You ready to put a down payment on that baby?"
• (Randy Marsh) "Well yeah, but I just had one question about how it works. Well, it seems all the buttons on these front and rear flexi-grips are also found on the side of the vehicle."
• (Mr. Garrison) "Yep."
• (Randy Marsh) "So, they don't really do anything."
• (Mr. Garrison) "Right."
• (Randy Marsh) "So then, couldn't I just order one that works without going in and out of my ass and mouth?"
• (Mr. Garrison) "-- Well, I guess you could."
• (Unnamed) "Huh? What's that? What'd he say?"

• (Eric Cartman) "I got my period."

• (Eric Cartman) ""Oooh, there's Cartman, we should invite him to the party for sure -- ""
• (Eric Cartman) "f*** you, May, f*** you, Annie, f*** you, BeBe, f*** you, whatever your name is, and f*** you, bitch."

• (Mrs Crabtree) "Hurry up. We're running late."
• (Stan) "Ahh we're always running late, you fat hog."
• (Mrs Crabtree) "What did you say?"
• (Stan) "I wish I could go to Prauge."
• (Mrs Crabtree) "Yeah. Me too."

• (Unnamed) "BLOOD ORGY."

• (Phillip) "That fart was absolutely GHOULISH Terrance."

• (Chef) "James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here."

• (Stan) "You know, I learned something today."

• (Stan) "It's always interesting to hear from Famous People."
• (Wendy) "Hitler was famous too."

• (Tweek) "But what if I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?"
• (Stan) "Tweek, when has that ever happened, except for that one time?"

• (Unnamed) "Hello, Mrs. Brovlowski, this is Stan's mom. I was wondering if you might know why my son is trying to split his head open with an ice pick."
• (Stan) "Aaaah. I have to get it out."

• (Unnamed) "Hey, hey, hey, what's goin' down, y'all?"
• (Unnamed) "Man, Fat Abbot, what you doin' on this side of the hood?"
• (Unnamed) "You know something, Rudy, you're like school in summer time."
• (Unnamed) "School in summertime?"
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, bitch, school in summertime. Open up your f***ing ears, you f***ing ho or I'll pop your bitch ass."
• (Unnamed) "I'm-a pop-a you-a bitch-a ass-a too-ba, Bitch-a."

• (Stan) "Jimmy, will you go talk to Wendy for me?"
• (Jimmy) "F-F-for wh-what?"
• (Stan) "Just go talk to her, and be poetic. Tell her she's my muse. No, tell her -- tell her -- she's a continuing source of inspiration to me."
• (Jimmy) "She's what?"
• (Stan) "She's a continuing source of inspiration to me."
• (Jimmy) "Okay. Hey, W- Hey, Wendy."
• (Wendy) "Yeah?"
• (Jimmy) "Stan says you're a cont -- you're a cont -- Stan says you're a cont- cont --"
• (Wendy) "Well, tell Stan to f*** off."
• (Jimmy) "-- cont -- You're a continuing source of inspiration to him."

• (Eric Cartman) "I'm not fat, I just haven't grown into my body yet you skinny bitch."
• (Mr. Garrison) "Eric. If you call Wendy a bitch one more time I'm sending you to the principal's office."
• (Eric Cartman) "Bitch."
• (Mr. Garrison) "That's it Eric, you --"
• (Eric Cartman) "I'm going."

• (Terrance) "Hey Phillip, guess what?"
• (Phillip) "What?"
• (Terrance) "Farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt."

• (Cartman) "Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later."

• (Mr. Garrison) "Now a haiku is just like a good old-fashioned American Poem, except that it's completely stupid."

• (Cartman) "The wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho de Burritos Rojos, south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man who was missing his left index finger, named Gary Bushwell, arriving home at 11:46."

• (Mr. Garrison) "Anyway, children, as I was saying, the Hare Krishna's are totally gay."

• (Cartman) "Three adorable children, please."

• (Cartman) "Kenny's family is so poor, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage."

• (City Wok Owner) "Welcome to s***ty Wok."

• (Mr. Slave) "Oooh, Jesuth Christht."

• (Stan) "Guys, we have no choice. We're gonna have to move away. Environmental activists don't use logic or reason."

• (Unnamed) "Manbearpig."

• (Cartman) "I have never in my life done anything just for the money. If I'm lying may the Lord strike me down right now."
• (Butters) "Uh oh."

• (Eric Cartman) "Well, f*** you, Stan, f*** you, Kyle, and"
• (Eric Cartman) "f***y you, Kenny. Bebe, you're still cool."

• (Mr. Garrison) "You little turds, you ruined my life for the last time"

• (Unnamed) "Hey. Hey. Hey. What's goin' on Rudy?"
• (Unnamed) "Man, Fat Abbot, you need to lose weight."
• (Unnamed) "I lose weight when I feel like it, bitch. Shut your bitch-ass mouth, ho."
• (Unnamed) "Bitch, I'll kick yo' ass."
• (Unnamed) "You think you slick, you punk ass blasphemous dope fiend bitch. I had my jimmy whacked 7 times last week, I'll bust a cap in your mother f***in' ass."

• (Mr. Garrison) "Don't lie, Stan. Lying makes you sterile."

• (Unnamed) "And, papa, I know you have tried to keep your daughter away from anything sexual, but look at her now: she's a god**** whore."
• (Butters) "She suuuure is."

• (Unnamed) "How I long to return to Bezos and Touch Butts with my Wife."

• (Satan) "I suppose I should help Humanity out, they have been doing my job for me so much these days."

• (Cartman) "Oh, Kyle, you just made a huge withdrawal at the First Bank of Lies."

• (Cartman) "I'm not fat, I'm festively plump."

• (Unnamed) "Oh my God, I found a penny."
• (Unnamed) "You bastard."

• (Cartman) "Oh, this is a democratic boy band, is it?"

• (Cartman) "Don't worry, Tweek. Your family can go on welfare. Kenny's family's on welfare and they're happy, isn't that right, Kenny?"
• (Kenny) "f*** you."

• (Unnamed) "I don't know, I'm just a Turtle."

• (Kyle) "All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff."

• (Kyle) "We're guys, dude. We find something about all our friends to rip on. We made fun of you for being rich for the same reason we rip on Butters for being wimpy."
• (Stan) "And we rip on Kyle for being a Jew."
• (Kyle) "And Stan for being in love with Wendy. And Cartman for being fat. And Cartman for being stupid. And Cartman for having a whore for a mom. And Cartman for being a sadistic asshole."
• (Cartman) "Hey. You did me already."

• (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch) "Yeah, I could use some god**** poontang, myself, right now."

• (Eric Cartman) "Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy."

• (Cartman) "I'm not fat, I'm big-boned."
• (Stan) "No, Jay Leno's chin is big-boned. You are a big fat ass."

• (Kyle) "Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said -- this week."

• (Mrs. Crabtree) "Sit down or the bunny dies."

• (Cartman) "Why don't we all sing, "Kyle's Mom is a Stupid Bitch" in D-minor?"

• (Stan Marsh) "This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas."

• (Cartman) "Butters, what the hell are you doing?"

• (Randy Marsh) "We want our kids to work some of these things out for themselves."

• (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch) "Everything is back to normal. I-I think -- I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again."

• (Butters) "Hell, Dad, I've got lots of Girlfriends. Sally's just my Bottom Bitch. D'you know what I'm sayin'?"

• (Cartman) "Well God, I guess you got me again, didn't you? Yeah, that was a good one, God. Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard."

• (Mrs. Broflovski) "They won't know what they're seeing."

• (Mr. Slave) "Oh, Jesus Christ."

• (Cartman) "Naw dude, independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding."

• (Stan) "Oh my god. Jay Leno's chin killed Kenny."
• (Kyle) "You bastard."
• (Jay Leno) "Ah, who cares? He dies every episode."

• (Stephen Stotch) "Don't talk back Butters, go to your room. I don't know what's wrong with that boy. It can't be our parenting, we're awesome. He must have some kind of mental illness --"

• (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch) ""Hey there, Butters, wanna slap my titties around?" Uh, no thanks, ma'am. I might get in trouble again."

• (Garrison) "You go to hell. You go to hell and you die."

• (Garrison) "Yeah. f*** 'em all to Death."

• (Stan) "Dude, this is pretty f***ed up right here."

• (Unnamed) "Look, this is wrestling. This."
• (Unnamed) "Mister, you'd better take your gay porn and get out of here."

• (Unnamed) "You're watching MTV, the cool, brainwashing, 12-year-old-and-younger station that hides behind a slick image. We're so cool that we decide what's cool. And now MTV News. The News that is single-handedly dumbing-down our country, which is cool."

• (Unnamed) "Wickershams, Tally Ho."

• (Mr. Garrison) "Well, damn it, Eric, don't you have some smart-ass thing to say?"

• (Newscaster Ned) "If irony was made of strawberries, we'd all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now."

• (Stan) "We're not getting on, you fat ugly bitch."
• (Mrs. Crabtree) "What did you say?"
• (Stan) "I said, "We're not getting on, you fat ugly bitch.""
• (Mrs. Crabtree) "Oh."
• (Kyle) "Whoa, dude."
• (Stan) "I always wondered if that would work."

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