South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Quotes

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . South Park: Bigger, Longer &amp stopped airing in 1970.

It features Marc Shaiman in charge of musical score.

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is 81 minutes long. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is distributed by Paramount Pictures, and Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Mary Kay Bergman as Cartman, Trey Parker as Stan, Matt Stone as Kyle, Mary Kay Bergman as Mrs. Cartman, Minnie Driver as Ike, Isaac Hayes as Chef, Mike Judge as Kenny, Matt Stone as Sheila Broflovski, George Clooney as Dr. Doctor, Eric Idle as Dr. Vosknocker, Howard McGillin as Gregory, Mike Judge as Kenny McCormick, Trey Parker as Satan, Mary Kay Bergman as Eric Cartman, Stewart Copeland as Soldier, Trey Parker as Stan Marsh, Minnie Driver as Brooke Shields, Deb Adair as Woman in Theatre, Bruce Howell as Man in Theatre, Trey Parker as Sharon Marsh, Matt Stone as Ike Broflovski, and Toddy Walters as Winona Ryder.

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Quotes

Minnie Driver as Brooke Shields

• (Minnie Driver) "Dopey pappy sheet eater."

• (Minnie Driver) "I once farted on the set of Blue Lagoon."

Matt Stone as Kyle

• (Matt Stone) "Remember what the MPAA says; Horrific, Deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don't say any naughty woids. That's what this war is all about."

• (Matt Stone) "You don't think they're really going to kill Terrence and Phillip, do you?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Kyle you need to stop being such a chicken s*** and stand up to your mother., you need to smack her in the face and say that's enough of your s*** you f***ing bitch."

• (Matt Stone) "We've got to blame Canada, we've got to make a fuss. Before someone thinks of blaming us."

• (Matt Stone) "What the heck is a rimjob?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Why, that's where you put your legs behind your head and let someone lick your ass."

• (Mr. Mackey) "I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay?"
• (Matt Stone) "Nowhere."
• (Trey Parker) "We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before."
• (Mr. Mackey) "Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin s***, you ass spelunker"."

• (Matt Stone) "-- if it's war they want, it's war they'll have."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "This is f***ing weak --"

• (Matt Stone) "Kyle you are grounded for two weeks."
• (Trey Parker) "You too Stan."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "And you're grounded for three weeks Eric."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Hey. Why am I grounded more that's f***in' bulls***."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "What, what, what? What was that word young man?"

• (Matt Stone) "Man, this movie gets better every time I see it."
• (Ticket Taker) "Hey."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Yeah, but you know what? That whole part about lighting farts is bulls***. You can't do that."
• (Mike Judge) "Yeah, you can."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "No way."
• (Mike Judge) "Yes you can. You can too light a fart on fire."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Okay, Kenny. I'll bet you a hundred dollars you can't light a fart on fire."
• (Mike Judge) "Yes you can. Check it out."
• (Trey Parker) "Holy s***, dude."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Ah. Oh my God. Hey."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Aw, s***. Aw, s***."
• (Trey Parker) "Help. Somebody do something."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Aahh. This stick is on fire."
• (Mike Judge) "Ooowww."
• (Trey Parker) "Oh my God, you killed Kenny."
• (Matt Stone) "You bastard."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Wow, I guess you can light a fart on fire, huh?"

• (Matt Stone) "Let me have some candy, Cartman."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy."
• (Matt Stone) "Fine. Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy."

• (Matt Stone) "Dude, that movie was f***ing sweet."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "You bet your f***in' ass it was."
• (Trey Parker) "f***, dude, I wanna be just like Terrence and Phillip."

• (Matt Stone) "Ok. Let's try this one more time. Ready, Ike? Kick the baby."
• (Matt Stone) "Don't kick the baby."
• (Matt Stone) "Kick the baby."
• (Matt Stone) "Ike. You broke ANOTHER window. That's a bad baby. Baaaaaad baby."
• (Trey Parker) "Kyle, we're going to see the Terrance and Phillip movie."
• (Matt Stone) "Oh my god, dude."
• (Matt Stone) "Kyle. Where are you going?"
• (Matt Stone) "Uuh, we're going ice-skating."
• (Matt Stone) "Well take your little brother with you."
• (Matt Stone) "Aww, come on, ma. He's not even my real brother. He's adopted."
• (Matt Stone) "DO AS I SAY, KYLE."
• (Matt Stone) "Ok, ok, I'm sorry."

• (Matt Stone) "When Canada is dead and gone, there'll be no more Celine Dion."

• (Matt Stone) "You are all just a bunch of ass-ramming uncle f***ers."

• (Matt Stone) "Come on, Ike. Kick the baby."
• (Minnie Driver) "Don't kick the baby."
• (Matt Stone) "Kick the baby."

George Clooney as Dr. Doctor

• (George Clooney) "Dammit. It never gets any easier."

• (George Clooney) "We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live."

Trey Parker as Stan Marsh

• (Trey Parker) "Is sex the only thing that matters to you?"
• (Saddam Hussein) "I love you."

• (Trey Parker) "Why did our mothers start this war? What the f*** are they fighting for? When did this song become a marathon?"

• (Trey Parker) "We're "La Resistance," we want to save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war and stuff."
• (The Mole) "I can't help you. I'm grounded in my room for the next three days."
• (Matt Stone) "So are we. Our parents think we're home right now."
• (Trey Parker) "Why are you grounded?"
• (The Mole) "Why? Because God hates me, that's why. He has made my life miserable. So I call him a cock-sucking asshole, and I get grounded."

• (The Mole) "Now, did you bring the mirror?"
• (Trey Parker) "Check."
• (The Mole) "Did you bring the rope?"
• (Trey Parker) "Check."
• (The Mole) "Did you bring the buttfor?"
• (Trey Parker) "What's a buttfor?"
• (The Mole) "For pooping, silly."

• (Trey Parker) "The sun is shining and the grass is green. / Under the three feet of snow, I mean."

• (Trey Parker) "Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy?"
• (Isaac Hayes) "Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris."
• (Trey Parker) "Huh?"
• (Isaac Hayes) "Whoops."

• (Unnamed) "Did someone say my name?"
• (Trey Parker) "Who are you?"
• (Unnamed) "I'm Brian Dennehy."
• (Matt Stone) "What? No, not f***in' Brian Dennehy."
• (Trey Parker) "Get the f*** out of here."
• (Unnamed) "Oh. Bye."

• (Trey Parker) "There's a bunch of birds in the sky. And some deers just went running by."

• (Trey Parker) "You have spilled the blood of the innocent. Now begins two million years of Darkness."
• (Isaac Hayes) "Oh, good job Mrs. Broslofski. Thanks a lot."

• (Trey Parker) "Up there, there is so much room / Where baby's burp and flowers bloom / Everyone dreams I can dream too / Up there / Up where the skies are ocean blue / I could be safe and live without a care / Up there"

• (Trey Parker) "Wait, before we put a message out, do a search on the word clitoris."
• (Matt Stone) "Hmm OK Found: 8,000,000 pages found with the word clitoris."

• (Unnamed) "Thank God we live in this quiet, little, pissant, redneck, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one-horse, mudhole, peckerwood, right-wing, whistle-stop, hobnail, truck-driving, old-fashioned, hayeseed, inbred, unkempt, out-of-date, white trash, kick-ass. Mountain town."
• (Trey Parker) "Look."

• (Trey Parker) "How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?"
• (Saddam Hussein) "Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?"

• (Trey Parker) "You see homeless people but you just don't care."

• (Trey Parker) "Saddam, could I talk to you over here for a second? I don't see why you have to belittle me in front of people like that."
• (Saddam Hussein) "Relax guy."
• (Trey Parker) "Sometimes I think you don't have any respect for me."
• (Saddam Hussein) "Come here, guy. Who's my cream puff?"
• (Trey Parker) "I am."
• (Saddam Hussein) "That's my baby."

• (Trey Parker) "What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? / He'd make a plan and follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do."
• (Matt Stone) "When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the Gold, / he did two salchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears / he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair."
• (Matt Stone) "So what would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? / I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, that's what Brian Boitano'd do."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "I want this V-chip out of me. / It has stunted my vocabulary."
• (Matt Stone) "And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone."
• (Trey Parker) "For Wendy I'll be an activist too, / 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "And what would Brian Boitano do? He'd call all the kids in town / and tell them to unite for truth, that's what Brian Boitano'd do."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010, / he fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids he beat up Kublai Khan."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take s*** from anybody. / So let's call all the kids together / and unite to stop our moms. / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do. / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do. / 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do."

• (Trey Parker) "But this is going to be the best movie ever. It's a foreign film from Canada."

• (Trey Parker) "You have spilt the blood of the innocence, now begins 2,000,000 years of darkness."
• (Isaac Hayes) "Oh, good job, Mrs. Broslofski. Thanks a lot."
• (Sheila Broslofski) "I was just trying to make the world a better place for children."
• (Saddam Hussein) "Yeah, and brought enough intolerence in the world to allow my coming. Now everyone bow down to me."
• (Saddam Hussein) "Yeah."

• (Trey Parker) "Listen Mr. homeless man, if you don't wanna buy us the tickets and not get your ten bucks and not buy yourself a bottle of vodka, then be my guest."
• (Unnamed) "Six tickets please."

• (Trey Parker) "Thank you Clitoris."

• (Saddam Hussein) "Some people say that I'm a bad guy, they may be right, they may be right. But it's not as if I don't try, I just f*** up, try as I might. But I can change, I can change. I can learn to keep my promises I swear it. I'll open up my heart and I will share it. Any minute now I will be born again. Yes, I can change, I can change, I know I've been a dirty little bastard. I like to kill, I like to maim, yes, I'm insane, but it's okay, cause I can change. It's not my fault that I'm so evil. It's society, society. You see my parents were sometimes abusive, and it made a prick of me. But I can change, I can change. I can learn to keep my promises I know it. I'll open up my heart and I will show it, any minute now I will be born again."
• (Trey Parker) "But what if you never change? What if you remain a sandy little butt-hole?"
• (Saddam Hussein) "Hey Satan, don't be such a twit. Mother Theresa won't have s*** on me."

• (Trey Parker) "The day is mine."

• (Trey Parker) "Hey, Mole. You know where the "clitoris" is?"
• (The Mole) "Ze what?"
• (Trey Parker) "The "clitoris." I have to have to find the clitoris so I can get this Wendy girl to like me again."
• (The Mole) "Hey, you have to stop thinking with your dick. You have to be on your toes, because I am not going be grounded again. Not for you, not for anybody."

• (The Mole) "If anything goes wrong, make a sound like a dying giraffe."
• (Trey Parker) "What's a dying giraffe sound like?"
• (The Mole) "WUUUUUaahhh. WUUUaaaaaaahhhhh."

• (Trey Parker) "Hey you guys I found the clitoris. I think I can get Wendy to like me again."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Yeah I guess all's well that end's well. We can go home now. You dips***."

• (Trey Parker) "Can I have FIVE tickets to Terence Phillip: Asses on Fire, please?"
• (Ticket Taker) "No."
• (Trey Parker) "What do you mean no?"
• (Ticket Taker) "Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America, you have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian."
• (Trey Parker) "But why?"
• (Ticket Taker) "Because this movie has naughty language. Next please."

• (Trey Parker) "What if you remain a sandy little butthole?"
• (Saddam Hussein) "Hey, Satan, don't be such a twit / Mother Teresa won't have s*** on me."

• (Trey Parker) "Well good morning, Stan."
• (Trey Parker) "Hi mom, can I have eight dollars to see a movie?"
• (Trey Parker) "A movie? But I thought you were going ice-skating."
• (Trey Parker) "But this is gonna be the best movie ever. It's a foreign film from Canada."
• (Trey Parker) "Oh alright, then. But be back for supper."
• (Trey Parker) "Thanks, mom."

Isaac Hayes as Chef

• (Isaac Hayes) "So finally, what a happy end / Americans and Canadians are friends again."

• (Isaac Hayes) "Everything worked out what a happy end. Americans and Canadians are friends again. So let's all join hands and knock oppression down."
• (Trey Parker) "Don't you know our little lives are now complete?"
• (Matt Stone) "'Cause Terrance and phillip are sweet."
• (Matt Stone) "Super sweet."
• (Unnamed) "Thank God we live in this quiet, little pissant, redneck, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one-horse, mudhole, peckerwood, right-wing, whistle-stop, hobnail, truck-driving, old-fashioned, hayseed, inbred, unkempt, out-of-date, white trash --"
• (Trey Parker) "Kick-ass."
• (Unnamed) "Mountain -- town."

• (General) "Now each battalion has a specific code-name and mission. Battalion 5, raise your hands."
• (General) "You will be the all important first defense wave, which we will call "Operation Human Shield"."
• (Isaac Hayes) "Hey, wait a minute --"
• (General) "Now keep in mind, 'Operation Human Shield' will suffer heavy losses. But don't lose your spirit men. Stay until the bitter end. Battalion 14?"
• (General) "Right, you are 'Operation Get Behind The Darkies'. You will follow Battalion 5 here and try not to get killed for God's Sake. Are there any questions men?"
• (General) "Yes Soldier?"
• (Isaac Hayes) "Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?"
• (General) "I don't listen to hip-hop."
• (Isaac Hayes) "Hey."

Mary Kay Bergman as Eric Cartman

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Well, Kyle's mom is a big, fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls. / On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, on Wedensday and Saturday she's a bitch. Then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a super king kamehameha bee-utch. / Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a big big big big big big bitch. / Bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch. Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's such a stupid bitch./Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Hey Stan. Tell them about the part where Terrance called Phillip a "testicle-s***ting rectal wart.""

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "And my little boy eric, had my picture on his shelf / And now when he sees me he tells me to go f*** myself."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Mom? If you were in a German "scheisse" video, you -- you'd tell me, right?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Sure, hon."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "That movie has warped my fragile little mind."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Hey, you're holding up the god damn lunch line."

• (The Mole) "Ze alarms, they went off?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Oh that was my bad, sorry."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "I hate you Kenny."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Kyle's Mom -- She's a big, fat, f***in' BIIIIIIIIITCH. Who's a f***in' bitch? Kyle's Mooooooooom. Yeah."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Oh f***."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "You should've seen Kyle when his mom showed up. He was scared out of his mind."
• (Matt Stone) "Shut up, Cartman."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "No dude, I'd be scared too, your mom is a f***ing bitch."
• (Matt Stone) "Don't call my mom a bitch, you fat f***."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Don't call me fat you buttf***ing son of a bitch."
• (Isaac Hayes) "Whoa, children. Where did you learn to talk like that?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "It's pretty f***ing sweet, huh?"

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Aw, screw it. It probably isn't all that good anyway."
• (Matt Stone) "Cartman. What the hell are you talking about? You LOVE Terrance and Philiip."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Yeah, but the animation is all crappy."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Hey Stan, tell them about the part where Terrence calls Phillip a testicle s***ting rectal wart."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars."
• (Matt Stone) "It's not your fault, Cartman."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Dude, I know, I'm just f***in' stoked I don't have to pay him."
• (Matt Stone) "Oh, that's real nice. He was your friend, you fat f***."

• (Saddam Hussein) "Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Hey, don't call me fat buttf***er."
• (Trey Parker) "Do it Cartman. Do it."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Damn. s***. Respect my f***in' authoritayyy."
• (Saddam Hussein) "You need to watch your mouth, brat."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Dog-s*** taco."
• (Saddam Hussein) "Quick Satan. Do something."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Try this on for size -- Blood drenched frozen tampon popsicle."
• (Saddam Hussein) "Hey, buddy. I know I was mean before. But don't worry; I can change."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "OK -- not. f***, s***, cock, ass, titties, boner, bitch, muff, p*****, c***, butthole, Barbra Streisand."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "More people will come if they think we have punch and pie."
• (Matt Stone) "Punch and pie."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Don't call me fat, you f***ing Jew."
• (Mr. Garrison) "Eric, did you just say the F-word?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Jew?"
• (Matt Stone) "No, he's talking about "f***". You can't say "f***" in school, you f***ing fat ass."
• (Mr. Garrison) "Kyle."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Why the f*** not?"
• (Mr. Garrison) "Eric."
• (Trey Parker) "Dude, you just said "f***" again."
• (Mr. Garrison) "Stanley."
• (Mike Judge) "f***."
• (Mr. Garrison) "Kenny."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. f***-f***ety-f***-f***-f***."
• (Mr. Garrison) "How would you like to go see the school counselor?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "How would you like to suck my balls?"
• (Mr. Garrison) "What did you say?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was --"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?"
• (Trey Parker) "Holy s***, dude."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Hey dudes."
• (Matt Stone) "What's the matter Cartman?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "It's this V-Chip, I hate it. I can't say any dirty words"
• (Matt Stone) "Really? So you can't say f***?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "No."
• (Matt Stone) "And you can't say s***?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "No."
• (Matt Stone) "So you can't say I'm Eric Cartman the Fattest f***ing piece of s*** in the world?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "f*** YOU."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "AHHH."
• (Matt Stone) "Ewwww -- Sweet."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Why the hell am I still holding this thing for?"
• (Mr. Garrison) "Mr. Hat, no."

• (Terrence) "Well, f*** my ass and call me a bitch."
• (Phillip) "Oh, you s***faced cockmaster."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Wow. 's***faced cockmaster'."

• (Mr. Mackey) "I guess I'll have to send a warning letter out to parents before more children see Terrence & Phillip."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Everybody's f***ing seen it."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Eric."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "I'm sorry I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile little mind."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Son of a gun. Heck."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "I had to ride my bike here. My behind is killing me."
• (Matt Stone) "Your "behind"?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "I have to say "behind" because I get shocked if I say "ass"."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "AGH."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Yes, that's right, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. Now who wants to touch me?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "I said, who wants to f***in' touch me?"

• (The Mole) "You MUST shut of the alarms. I f***ing hate guard dogs."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Yeah, I heard you the first time you British piece of s***."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Owww."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question?"
• (Mr. Mackey) "What?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "What's the big f***ing deal, bitch?"
• (Trey Parker) "Yeah."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Mom I saw him, I saw Kenny."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Oh, you poor dear. You've been through so much."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "I bet him he couldn't light a fart on fire, and now he's all pissed off"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "damn I can't say "pissed off" either."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Mom, there's someone at the door."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Mom, I said there's someone at the door."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Coming, hun."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Ay, I can't see the TV."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Oh, look Eric, It's your little friends."
• (Matt Stone) "Fireman."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "What are you guys doing here?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Aw, sweet dudes. Yes, YEEES."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "See, it doesn't hurt anyone. f***, f***ety, f***, f***, f***."

• (Mary Kay Bergman) "You guys, this is all Kyle's mom's fault."
• (Matt Stone) "Shut up, Cartman."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Kyle's mom is the one that started that damn club and all because she's a big fat stupid bit --"
• (Matt Stone) "Don't say it, Cartman."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Well --"
• (Matt Stone) "Don't do it, Cartman."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Well --"
• (Matt Stone) "I'm warning you."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Okay, okay."
• (Matt Stone) "I'm getting pretty sick of him calling my mom a --"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Well -- Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she a bitch to all the boys and girls."
• (Matt Stone) "Shut your f***ing mouth, Cartman."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, on Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch, then on Sunday just to be different she's a super king kamehameha bee-otch. Come on, you all know the words. Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch. Kyle's mom's a bitch and she just a dirty bitch. Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch."
• (Trey Parker) "Uh, Cartman?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Kyle's mom's a bitch and she just a dirty bitch. I really mean it, Kyle's mom -- She's a big fat f***ing biiitch. Big old fat f***ing bitch, that mom -- Yeah. Chaa."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "What?"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Oh -- f***."

Stewart Copeland as Soldier

• (Stewart Copeland) "And I don't know what I've been told / Canadian p***** is mighty cold."

Toddy Walters as Winona Ryder

• (Toddy Walters) "I'm super-psyched to be here today. What you're doing for our country is sooo cool. I mean, war, man. Wow. War. Y'know? Wow."

Mike Judge as Kenny

• (Unnamed) "Well, fine. You go ahead and miss church and then when you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan."
• (Mike Judge) "Okay."

• (Mike Judge) "Mmf mm mpf mm mommmppf mmf momm mmom mf mff. Mff mffs mmmph mmf, mmph? Mmmpf mpph."

Howard McGillin as Gregory

• (Howard McGillin) "I'm here for "la resistance.""
• (Matt Stone) "What's the password?"
• (Howard McGillin) "I don't know."
• (Matt Stone) "Guess."
• (Howard McGillin) "Uhhh -- bacon."
• (Matt Stone) "-- okay."

Deb Adair as Woman in Theatre

• (Deb Adair) "What garbage."
• (Bruce Howell) "Well, what do you expect, they're Canadian."

Eric Idle as Dr. Vosknocker

• (Eric Idle) "Now, I want you to say "doggy"."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Doggy."
• (Eric Idle) "Notice, that nothing happens."
• (Eric Idle) "Now, say "Montana"."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Montana."
• (Eric Idle) "Good. Now, "pillow"."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Pillow."
• (Eric Idle) "All right. Now I want you to say "horse f***er"."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Go on, honey. It's all right."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "Horse fu --"
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "That hurts, god****it."
• (Eric Idle) "Now I want you to say "big floppy donkey dick"."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "No."
• (Eric Idle) "Success. The child doesn't want to swear."
• (Mary Kay Bergman) "This isn't fair, you sons of bi --"

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.