Shrek 2 Quotes

Shrek 2 is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Shrek 2 stopped airing in 1970.

It features Aron Warner, David Lipman, and John H. Williams as producer, and Harry Gregson-Williams in charge of musical score.

Shrek 2 is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Shrek 2 is 92 minutes long. Shrek 2 is distributed by DreamWorks.

The cast includes: Mike Myers as Shrek, Cody Cameron as Pinocchio, Eddie Murphy as Donkey, Conrad Vernon as Gingerbread Man, Rupert Everett as King, Julie Andrews as Queen, Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona, Rupert Everett as Prince Charming, Aron Warner as Wolf, Rupert Everett as Chef, Jennifer Saunders as Fairy Godmother, Kelly Cooney as Fast Food Clerk, Aron Warner as Pig, and Chris Miller as Mirror.

Shrek 2 Quotes

Eddie Murphy as Donkey

• (Eddie Murphy) "Owww. You little hairy little licking sack of --"
• (Jennifer Saunders) "Is it on?, Is it on?"
• (Jennifer Saunders) "What? Is it on? Is it on? This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Run, run, run as fast as you can."

• (Puss-in-Boots) "Ah-ha-ha --."
• (Puss-in-Boots) "He he -- Hairball."
• (Eddie Murphy) "Oh, that is nasty."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Look at our little mutant babies."
• (Eddie Murphy) "I gotta get a job."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Head 'em up, Head 'em up, Move 'em on, Move 'em on, Head 'em up, Rawhide. Line 'em up, Move 'em on, Head 'em up, Head 'em up, Move 'em on, Rawhide. Knock 'em out, Pound dead, Make 'em tea, Buy 'em drinks, Meet their mommas, Milk 'em hard, RAWHIDE. YEE-HAW."

• (Eddie Murphy) "You know, in some cultures, donkeys are revered as the smartest of animals, especially us talking ones."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Are we there yet?"

• (Eddie Murphy) "The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom --"
• (Mike Myers) "Bet my bottom?"
• (Eddie Murphy) "I'm coming Elizabeth."

• (Eddie Murphy) "If we ever need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call."

• (Eddie Murphy) "I say we take the sword and neuter him right here. Give him the Bob Barker treatment."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Oh, don't feel bad, Shrek. Almost everybody who meets you wants to kill you."

• (Eddie Murphy) "I'm a stallion, baby."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Puss and Donkey, y'all."

• (Eddie Murphy) "You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Aaaaaaw."
• (Mike Myers) "Hey? You still look like a noble steed to me."

• (Eddie Murphy) "It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on."

• (Eddie Murphy) "I mean, how good looking could this Prince Charming guy be anyway?"
• (The Ugly Stepsister) "Are you kiddin'? He's gorgeous. His face looks like it was carved by angels."
• (Puss-in-Boots) "Hmmm -- he sounds dreamy."

• (Eddie Murphy) "I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place. Let's just walk away slowly."
• (Puss-in-Boots) "That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage. She is the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom."
• (Mike Myers) "So why don't we drop in for a spell? Ha, ha. Spell."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Are we there yet?"
• (Mike Myers) "Yes."
• (Eddie Murphy) "Really?"
• (Mike Myers) "No."

• (Eddie Murphy) "What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." Nobody said I have the right to remain silent."
• (Mike Myers) "Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity."
• (Puss-in-Boots) "I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad."
• (Conrad Vernon) "Shrek? Donkey?"
• (Puss-in-Boots) "Too late."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Did I miss?"
• (Mike Myers) "No. You got them."

• (Eddie Murphy) "Pray for mercy, from Puss."
• (Puss-in-Boots) "And Donkey."

• (Eddie Murphy) "I don't feel any different. Do I look any different?"
• (Puss-in-Boots) "You still look like an ass to me."

Conrad Vernon as Gingerbread Man

• (Conrad Vernon) "It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick."

• (Conrad Vernon) "IT'S ALIVE."

• (Conrad Vernon) "Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man. We got a big order to fill."

• (Conrad Vernon) "I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears. Flip over to Wheel of Torture."
• (Cody Cameron) "I'm not flipping anywhere, Sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona."

Rupert Everett as Prince Charming

• (Rupert Everett) "Where is he Mum? I shall render his head from his shoulders. I will smite him where he stands. HE WILL RUE THE VERY DAY HE STOLE MY KINGDOM AWAY FROM ME."
• (Jennifer Saunders) "Oh, put it away, Junior. You're still going to be King. We just need to work out something smarter, that's all."

• (Rupert Everett) "No, no. Bad donkey. Bad. Down."
• (Cameron Diaz) "Dad, it's alright, it's alright. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon."
• (Eddie Murphy) "Yup, that's me, the noble steed. Hey waiter. How 'bout a bowl for the steed?"

• (Cedric) "Can I help you, your majesty?"
• (Rupert Everett) "Ah, yes, um -- Mmm, exquisite. What do you call this dish?"
• (Cedric) "That would be the dog's breakfast, your majesty."
• (Rupert Everett) "Ah, yes. Very good, uh -- Carry on, Cedric."

• (Rupert Everett) "Darling? Ah, I thought I might find you here; how about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball --"
• (Cameron Diaz) "I'm not going."
• (Rupert Everett) "B-b-but the whole kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage."
• (Cameron Diaz) "There's just one problem; that's not my husband. I mean, look at him."
• (Rupert Everett) "Yes, he is a bit different, but people do change for the ones they love; you'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother --"
• (Cameron Diaz) "Change ? He's completely lost his mind."
• (Rupert Everett) "Darling, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance; I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek --"
• (Cameron Diaz) "But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad; I'd give anything to have him back --"
• (Rupert Everett) "Darling, that's mine. Decaf -- otherwise I'm up all night."

• (Rupert Everett) "Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land everyone was happy, until the sun went down, and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother, who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming. It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the dragon's keep, for he was the bravest, and most handsome in all the land, and it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her- gasp."
• (Aron Warner) "What?"
• (Rupert Everett) "Princess -- Fiona?"
• (Aron Warner) "NO."
• (Rupert Everett) "Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?"
• (Aron Warner) "She's on her honeymoon."
• (Rupert Everett) "Honeymoon? With whom?"

• (Rupert Everett) "I'm sorry, Lillian. I just wish I could be the man you deserve."
• (Julie Andrews) "You are more that man now than you ever were, warts and all."

• (Rupert Everett) "I'll have the Medieval Meal."

• (Rupert Everett) "Who on earth are they?"
• (Julie Andrews) "I think that's our little girl."
• (Rupert Everett) "That's not little, that's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell?"
• (Julie Andrews) "Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look --"
• (Mike Myers) "Happy now? We came, we saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches."
• (Cameron Diaz) "But they're my parents."
• (Mike Myers) "Hello, they locked you in a tower."
• (Cameron Diaz) "Hey, that was for my own --"
• (Rupert Everett) "Good. Now's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home."
• (Julie Andrews) "Harold. We have to be --"
• (Mike Myers) "Quick, while they're not looking, we can make a run for it."
• (Cameron Diaz) "Shrek. Stop it. Everything is going to be --"
• (Rupert Everett) "A disaster. There's no way --"
• (Cameron Diaz) "You can do this."
• (Mike Myers) "But I really --"
• (Rupert Everett) "Really --"
• (Julie Andrews) "Really --"
• (Mike Myers) "Don't --"
• (Cameron Diaz) "Want --"
• (Julie Andrews) "To --"
• (Mike Myers) "Be --"
• (Rupert Everett) "He-ere."

• (Puss-in-Boots) "Who dares enter my room?"
• (Rupert Everett) "Sorry; I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but I was told that you are the one to handle an ogre problem."
• (Puss-in-Boots) "You are told correct, but for this I charge a great deal of money."
• (Rupert Everett) "Will this do?"
• (Puss-in-Boots) "You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre."

Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona

• (Cameron Diaz) "They just want to give us their blessing."
• (Mike Myers) "Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?"
• (Cameron Diaz) "Well, if you want to be part of this family, yes."
• (Mike Myers) "Who said I want to be part of this family?"
• (Cameron Diaz) "Uh -- you did? When you married me?"
• (Mike Myers) "Well, there's some fine print for ya."

• (Cameron Diaz) "Oh, Dad --"
• (Julie Andrews) "Harold --"
• (Cody Cameron) "Is he -- oh --"
• (Conrad Vernon) "He croaked --"
• (Julie Andrews) "-- Harold?"
• (Cameron Diaz) "-- Dad?"
• (Rupert Everett) "I had hoped you would never see me like this --"
• (Eddie Murphy) "Huh; and he gave you a hard time."
• (Mike Myers) "Donkey."
• (Rupert Everett) "No, no, he's right; I'm sorry, to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona, but I can see now she already has it. Shrek, Fiona; will you accept an old frog's apologies, and my blessing?"
• (Julie Andrews) "Harold --"
• (Rupert Everett) "I'm sorry, Lillian; I just wish I could be the man that you deserve --"
• (Julie Andrews) "You're more that man today than you ever were; warts and all --"

• (Cameron Diaz) "You're acting like a -- a --"
• (Mike Myers) "Go on, say it."
• (Cameron Diaz) "Like an ogre."
• (Mike Myers) "Well, guess what? Whether your parents like it or not, I am an ogre."
• (Mike Myers) "And guess what, princess? That's not about to change."
• (Cameron Diaz) "I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that."
• (Eddie Murphy) "That's real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre. Arrr.""

• (Cameron Diaz) "I want what any princess wants; to live happily ever after -- with the ogre I married."

Mike Myers as Shrek

• (Mike Myers) "Puss, do you think you could get up there?"
• (Puss-in-Boots) "No prolema, boss; in one of my nine cat lives I was the great cat burglar Santiago de Compostela."

• (Mike Myers) "Face it, Donkey. We're lost."
• (Eddie Murphy) "We can't be lost. We followed the king's instructions to the letter. What did he say? Go to the deepest, darkest part of the forest."
• (Mike Myers) "Aye."
• (Eddie Murphy) "Go past the sinister-looking trees with the scary-looking branches."
• (Mike Myers) "Uh-huh."
• (Eddie Murphy) "And there's that bush that looks like Shirley Bassey."
• (Mike Myers) "We passed that bush three times already."
• (Eddie Murphy) "Well, I wasn't the one who refused to stop for directions."

• (Mike Myers) "Aww, come one, Donkey, look at him, in his wee lil' boots. I mean, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?"

• (Mike Myers) "For five minutes, could you not be yourself? FOR FIVE MINUTES."

• (Mike Myers) "TGIF, eh, buddy? Working hard or hardly working, eh, mac?"

• (Mike Myers) "The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That's where we're going. FAR, FAR away."

• (Mike Myers) "Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you."
• (Eddie Murphy) "Oh, man. Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata. Piñata." What is a piñata, anyway?"

• (Mike Myers) "Oh, look. A little cat."
• (Eddie Murphy) "Look out, Shrek, he got a piece."

• (Mike Myers) "We are definitly not in the swamp anymore."

• (Mike Myers) "Look out, princess. Here comes the new me."
• (Eddie Murphy) "First things first. We need to get you out of those clothes."

• (Mike Myers) "How do you explain Sgt. Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?"

• (Mike Myers) "Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget."

• (Mike Myers) "How many cats can wear boots? Honestly? --"

• (Puss-in-Boots) "Stop, ogre. I have misjudged you."
• (Mike Myers) "Join the club. We got jackets."

• (Blind Mouse) "Pardon me. Would you mind letting me go?"
• (Mike Myers) "What? Puss."
• (Puss-in-Boots) "Sorry, boss."

• (Mike Myers) "Hi. I'm here to see --"
• (Receptionist) "The Fairy Godmother? I'm sorry, she's not here right now."
• (Jennifer Saunders) "Jerome. Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now."

• (Mike Myers) "Do you still know the Muffin Man?"
• (Conrad Vernon) "Sure, he's down on Drury Lane. Why?"
• (Mike Myers) "Because we're going to need flour. Lots and lots of flour."

• (Receptionist) "Look, she's not seeing any clients today. Okay?"
• (Mike Myers) "That's okay, buddy. We're from the union."
• (Receptionist) "The union?"
• (Mike Myers) "We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign."
• (Receptionist) "Oh, of course."
• (Mike Myers) "Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?"
• (Receptionist) "A little. We don't even have dental."
• (Mike Myers) "They don't even have dental. Okay, we're gonna have a look around. And buddy, it would be better if the Fairy Godmother doesn't know about this. Know what I mean? Hmm?"
• (Eddie Murphy) "Hmm?"
• (Mike Myers) "Hmm?"
• (Eddie Murphy) "Huh? Huh? Huh?"
• (Mike Myers) "Stop it."

• (Mike Myers) "Donkey? you're a --"
• (Eddie Murphy) "A stallion, baby. I can whinny."
• (Eddie Murphy) "I can count."
• (Eddie Murphy) "Look at me, Shrek. I'm trotting."

Jennifer Saunders as Fairy Godmother

• (Jennifer Saunders) "Harold, you were supposed to give her the potion."
• (Rupert Everett) "Well, I guess gave her the wrong tea."

• (Jennifer Saunders) "Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me."

• (Jennifer Saunders) "Remember, happiness is just a teardrop away --"

• (Jennifer Saunders) "He endured blistering winds and scorching deserts; he climbed the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower; and what does he find? Some gender-confused WOLF telling him that HIS princess is already married."
• (Rupert Everett) "Well, it wasn't my fault; he didn't get there in time."

• (Jennifer Saunders) "I don't care whose fault this was, just get this place cleaned up. And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried and smothered in chocolate."

• (Jennifer Saunders) "What in Grimm's name are you doing here?"
• (Mike Myers) "It seems that Fiona is not at all happy."
• (Jennifer Saunders) "Oh, and is there any question as to why that is? Let's explore that, shall we?"
• (Jennifer Saunders) "Let's see -- P-p-p-p-p, Princess. Cinderella -- Handsome prince, lived happily ever after -- oh, no ogres. Sleeping Beauty -- handsome prince, no ogres. Thumbelina, no. Handsel and Gretel, no. The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman -- no, no, no, no, NO. You see, ogres don't live happily ever after."

• (Jennifer Saunders) "I told you ogres don't live happily ever after."

Julie Andrews as Queen

• (Julie Andrews) "So, Fiona. Tell us about where you live."
• (Cameron Diaz) "Well, Shrek owns his own land. Don't you, honey?"
• (Mike Myers) "Yes. It's in an -- enchanted forest, abundant in squirrels, and cute little duckies --"
• (Eddie Murphy) "What?"
• (Eddie Murphy) "I know you ain't talking about the swamp."
• (Mike Myers) "Donkey."
• (Rupert Everett) "An ogre from a swamp. How original."
• (Julie Andrews) "I guess that will be a fine place to raise the children."
• (Mike Myers) "It's a little early to be thinking about that, isn't it?"
• (Rupert Everett) "Indeed. I just started eating."

• (Julie Andrews) "Oh, stop being such a drama king."

Cody Cameron as Pinocchio

• (Cody Cameron) "I'm a real boy."

Chris Miller as Mirror

• (Chris Miller) "Well, the abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at the Far Far Away royal ball. The carriages are all lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them like Miss Muffet's curds and whey."

Aron Warner as Pig

• (Aron Warner) "I see London, I see France --"

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