She's Out of My League Quotes

She's Out of My League is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . She's Out of My League ended its run in 1970.

It features Plain list, * Jimmy Miller * David Householter as producer, Michael Andrews (musician) in charge of musical score, and Jim Deanult as head of cinematography.

She's Out of My League is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of She's Out of My League is 104 minutes long. She's Out of My League is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Jay Baruchel as Kirk, Mike Vogel as Jack, Nate Torrence as Devon, Andrew Daly as Mr. Fuller, Krysten Ritter as Patty, Alice Eve as Molly, Hayes MacArthur as Ron, Kyle Bornheimer as Dylan, Lindsay Sloane as Marnie, Jessica St. Clair as Debbie, Adam LeFevre as Mr. Kettner, and Debra Jo Rupp as Mrs. Kettner.

She's Out of My League Quotes

Nate Torrence as Devon

• (Stainer) "Okay, anyway -- I love Kirky, but let's face it, the guy's a five."
• (Nate Torrence) "Stainer, that's just a dirty pool. He's at least a six."
• (Stainer) "A six? Alright you go ahead and pump rainbows into his asshole. I'm just being honest."
• (Mike Vogel) "Come on, cut him some slack. Look. Half a point cause he's a nice guy. Right? And he's funny, so that's half a point each. That brings him to six. Devon's right."
• (Stainer) "But he drives a s***box, deduct a point. Take a point off."
• (Jay Baruchel) "Wait, what's wrong with my Neon?"
• (Stainer) "Oh, I don't know, except the people who make that car don't even like it. So, we're back to a five."
• (Mike Vogel) "Five."
• (Stainer) "Meanwhile, this Molly, is a hard ten. And that five point disparity, that's a chasm. Chasm? Chasm. You can't jump more than two points."
• (Jay Baruchel) "Where do you get this s***?"
• (Stainer) "Trust me, Kirk. I can't even get a ten."
• (Mike Vogel) "Oh. Not even you, huh?"
• (Stainer) "I'm a six. OK?"
• (Mike Vogel) "Bulls***, you're a six. Then what am I?"
• (Stainer) "You're an eight."
• (Mike Vogel) "OK, you're a six then."
• (Stainer) "But I get a one point bump cause I'm in a band."
• (Jay Baruchel) "Stainer, you're in a Hall and Oats cover band. I'm pretty sure that's a deduction."
• (Stainer) "Adult Education is a tribute band. So that puts me back at seven. On a good day, the best I can bag is a nine."
• (Jay Baruchel) "What about your crappy car?"
• (Stainer) "Artist's exemption. I'm expected to have a s***ty car."
• (Mike Vogel) "Is there an artist exemption for talking out your ass?"
• (Stainer) "Yeah, it's called being a rock star, Jack. Look it up in the dictionary. It's right next to "f*** you.""
• (Nate Torrence) "I think this system's ridiculous. All right? If someone really loves you, then you are a ten."
• (Mike Vogel) "My God. What are you -- Are you Hannah Montanna? Because nothing you are saying right now is of any help to Kirk."

• (Nate Torrence) "Hey did she say anything about Wendy thinking I'm hot?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "No."
• (Nate Torrence) "Shoot, I wonder if she is on Facebook?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "Devin you're on Facebook?"
• (Nate Torrence) "Yeah -- I got like 37 friends."

• (Stainer) "I love Kirkey but let's face it, the guy's a 5. Meanwhile, this Molly is a hard 10."
• (Nate Torrence) "Stainer, that's just dirty pool. He's at least a 6 --"
• (Stainer) "6? Alright, you go ahead and pop rainbows into his asshole, but I'm just being honest."

• (Stainer) "I love Kirkey but let's face it, the guy's a 5. Meanwhile, this Molly is a hard 10."
• (Nate Torrence) "He's at least a 6 --"
• (Stainer) "6? Alright, you go ahead and pop rainbows into his asshole, but I'm just being honest."

• (Stainer) "Okay now I know you've gone crazy. You are telling me the hottest chick I've ever met in my life wants you, and the hamburglar wasn't into me? Listen to yourself -- f*** YOU."
• (Nate Torrence) "It is a pretty impressive catch Kirkey."
• (Stainer) "Yeah the day that happens is the day Jack sleeps with your wife."
• (Stainer) "What? Did that already happen?"
• (Nate Torrence) "We weren't technically dating yet."
• (Stainer) "My bad."

Krysten Ritter as Patty

• (Krysten Ritter) "You look just like someone I went to high school with."
• (Stainer) "Oh yeah? What high school? Maybe it was me."
• (Krysten Ritter) "No, he's in a coma."
• (Stainer) "Huh. Who brought the good news bear? Somebody give her some f***ing honey."

• (Krysten Ritter) "How the f*** did you get my number?"

• (Krysten Ritter) "Go s*** in your hand."

Jay Baruchel as Kirk

• (Jay Baruchel) "I come in peace."

• (Jay Baruchel) "What is he? A dog or a f***ing horse?"

• (Jay Baruchel) "Stainer, I know you don't like her very much."
• (Stainer) "Nooo, no. I hate her. In fact, the day you broke up with her I marked that down on my calendar as a day of rejoicement. I'm going to celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, we smash it."

• (Jay Baruchel) "Patty's not a bitch, she's uh -- different."
• (Stainer) "Yeah, different in that she's a bitch and other people aren't."

• (Jay Baruchel) "How is this not gay?"
• (Nate Torrence) "I think there is nothing gay about it. The fact you are letting a straight married man shave your testicles. I think that makes you one of my most macho guys alive."

• (Jay Baruchel) "Hello?"
• (Krysten Ritter) "Who's this?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "I don't know, maybe the guy with the new iPhone. Who's this?"
• (Krysten Ritter) "Ah, I don't know, maybe your worst f***ing nightmare --"

• (Jay Baruchel) "Devon, why would you tell her that I broke up with Molly?"
• (Nate Torrence) "Cause I thought you had."
• (Jay Baruchel) "No. We're just in a sticky wicket."
• (Stainer) "A "sticky wicket"?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "Yeah. A rough patch. Rough pumpkins."
• (Stainer) "And how many times have you called her?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "Five."
• (Stainer) "And how many times have you really called her?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "Seventeen."
• (Stainer) "It's done. Tao of Love."
• (Jay Baruchel) "What?"
• (Stainer) "That's what I call it. The Tao of Love. You being with Molly defies, like, forces of nature. It's over man."
• (Jay Baruchel) "No. It's not over. Frankly, I'm sick of all you guys pretending like you know where I'm coming from. None of you know what I'm going through right now."
• (Stainer) "Tina Jordan does."
• (Jay Baruchel) "Who the hell is Tina Jordan?"
• (Stainer) "She was my Molly."
• (Jay Baruchel) "You never mentioned her."
• (Stainer) "I didn't want to jinx it. But she was perfect. Yeah, perfect. Freckled shoulders. Anyway, two months into it, bam, she dumps me. I shoulda seen it coming too, cause she was a ten. Like a hard ten. I was a six, possibly a seven. Either way, I couldn't cover the spread. The universe spoke and I was depressed for months."
• (Jay Baruchel) "That's what that was? You said you had mono."
• (Stainer) "Yeah. Mono of the heart."
• (Mike Vogel) "OK, my God, how's your vagina?"
• (Stainer) "Shut up, Jack."

• (Jay Baruchel) "This is when you say Hi Molly."
• (Kyle Bornheimer) "Who are you?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "She is Molly."
• (Hayes MacArthur) "Why is she here?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "She came with me."
• (Kyle Bornheimer) "Did you hit her car or something?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "Jesus -- No but thank you for asking."
• (Kyle Bornheimer) "Are you a social worker?"
• (Alice Eve) "Nope"
• (Kyle Bornheimer) "Aw s*** are we being evicted?"
• (Kyle Bornheimer) "Are you a hooker?"
• (Jessica St. Clair) "Dylan."
• (Kyle Bornheimer) "Or a prostitute I mean?"

• (Stainer) "But he drives a s*** box so you have to deduct a point."
• (Jay Baruchel) "What is wrong with my neon?"
• (Stainer) "Oh I don't know except the people who make that car don't even like it."

• (Jay Baruchel) "She is coming to lunch with my parents on Sunday."
• (Stainer) "That takes care of that, 20 minutes with your family and she will file a restraining order. We're safe."
• (Nate Torrence) "Hey did she say anything about Wendy? You know -- like about me?"

• (Museum Director) "Can I see your invitation?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "Can I see your invitation?"
• (Nate Torrence) "Probably not the best thing to say to the Museum Director."

• (Stainer) "Kirk that Molly girl is insanely hot."
• (Jay Baruchel) "Yeah I know."
• (Stainer) "So you know whats happening? She is setting you up with the bitchy friend. Which will be perfect for you because you like bitches."
• (Jay Baruchel) "That's fine Patty is not a bitch. She's -- uh -- just different."
• (Stainer) "Yeah different in that she is a bitch and other people aren't."

• (Jay Baruchel) "Marnie, I know that we agreed to take some time off and I think that was a great idea. My God. Gave us both a chance to experiment, if you will, and meet all sorts of new and interesting, different people. You did quite a bit more experimenting than I did. A lot more experimenting. You are like a scientist. Beakers -- But obviously I'm cool with that, cause the thing is, I think, we're stronger as a result. But here's the thing, Marnie -- it's been two years. That's a lot of time off. And I'm ready for some time on. I miss you. I miss us. I got something for you."
• (Jay Baruchel) "What do you think?"
• (Stainer) "Aww, man, it's depressing. I mean, it's really depressing. It's horrible to watch you like this."
• (Nate Torrence) "I think it's really pretty. How's it work?"
• (Nate Torrence) "Oh --"
• (Mike Vogel) "What the hell is that?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "I got it for Valentine's Day, right before she broke up with me. Stainer, I know you don't like her very much."
• (Stainer) "No, no, I hate her. In fact, the day that you broke up with her, I marked that down in my calendar as a day of rejoicement. I'm gonna celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, I'm gonna smash it. OK? You can do a lot better. You deserve a lot better, Kirky."
• (Jay Baruchel) "I thank you. But, I've seen what's out there and I don't think it gets any better."
• (Mike Vogel) "When have you been out there? When have you left the apartment?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "I went out on four different dates, with three girls and that guy. I don't know what his intentions were, but it's fine. We had a great conversation. I think he was just looking for a friend."
• (Mike Vogel) "Do you know what your problem is, Kirk?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "What?"
• (Mike Vogel) "You're a moodle."
• (Jay Baruchel) "A moodle?"
• (Mike Vogel) "A man poodle. Girls, they wanna take you out on a walk. They wanna feed you, they wanna cuddle you, but make no mistake, no girl wants to do the moodle."
• (Stainer) "No one would ever f*** a moodle."
• (Mike Vogel) "No, he's right. I'm telling you, if you wanna get Marney back, she has got to believe that from the second she broke up with you, your life has been a non-stop snatch parade."
• (Nate Torrence) "Or -- you could just be who you are. Why can't that be good enough?"
• (Stainer) "Why don't you just put your f***ing balls in here?"

Mike Vogel as Jack

• (Mike Vogel) "Is there an artist exemption for talking out your ass?"
• (Stainer) "Yeah it's called being a rock star Jack. Look it up in the dictionary next to f*** you."

• (Stainer) "Hey, Kirk, um, my shift doesn't start for another half-hour, but, I was so excited, so uh, I came early."
• (Mike Vogel) "Yeah, and it was weird, he said he was really excited, and so he came early."
• (Stainer) "Yeah. Has that ever happened to you? You're so excited about something that, you come early, you know?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "Jesus Christ Devon, you're Fort Knox over here. Thank you very much."

Kyle Bornheimer as Dylan

• (Kyle Bornheimer) "f*** it. This floor is slippery. These shoes are f***ed for this."
• (Adam LeFevre) "Dylan sportsmanship."
• (Kyle Bornheimer) "f*** You."
• (Debra Jo Rupp) "Timeout."
• (Kyle Bornheimer) "You guys take a timeout for being assholes."

Alice Eve as Molly

• (Alice Eve) "You think I'm too perfect? So you were hoping there was something wrong with me so you could be with me?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "Look at the evidence, Molly. I'm unattractive, I'm out of shape, I'm uncoordinated, I've never been to Europe, I'm not a college graduate, I drive a Neon."
• (Alice Eve) "I like your Neon."
• (Jay Baruchel) "Oh come on, Molly, look at me. I'm a 5. This is a 5. Hard 5. You can't jump more than two points. It's the Tao of Love. Everybody knows that. Even if you were a 9 and I was in a band. But no, you're a hard 10."
• (Alice Eve) "What are you talking about?"
• (Jay Baruchel) "Do you even know how hot you are? No, you probably think that everybody gets free s*** everywhere they go and everybody's happy and nice to each other in shiny happy hot town with you and all your hot friends and ex boyfriends, but I hate to break it to you, it's not the same for the rest of us."
• (Alice Eve) "Okay, Kirk. You clearly have some major self-esteem issues."
• (Jay Baruchel) "You lied about me to your parents right in front of me."
• (Alice Eve) "No I didn't."
• (Jay Baruchel) ""Kirk's in aviation?" That's like saying the guy who shovels elephant s*** at the circus is in show business. No, he's just the elephant s*** guy. That's me. I'm that guy."

Hayes MacArthur as Ron

• (Hayes MacArthur) "Come on in for a dip girl."
• (Alice Eve) "Oh no, I don't even have a bathing suit."
• (Kyle Bornheimer) "You can wear your underwear. It's just like a bikini it covers all the good s***."
• (Hayes MacArthur) "Yeah underwear is fine."
• (Lindsay Sloane) "RON."
• (Hayes MacArthur) "It's like what they did in the old days."
• (Alice Eve) "Underwear would be fine if I were wearing any."

Andrew Daly as Mr. Fuller

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