Scrooged Quotes

Scrooged is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Scrooged ended its run in 1970.

It features Richard Donner as producer, Danny Elfman in charge of musical score, and Michael Chapman (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Scrooged is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Scrooged is 97 minutes long. Scrooged is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Bill Murray as Frank Cross, Alfre Woodard as Grace, John Forsythe as Lew Hayward, Karen Allen as Claire Phillips, Bobcat Goldthwait as Elliot, Michael J. Pollard as Herman, Robert Mitchum as Preston, Nicholas Phillips as Calvin Cooley, John Murray as James Cross, Brian Doyle-Murray as Earl Cross, and John Glover as Brice Cummings.

Scrooged Quotes

Bill Murray as Frank Cross

• (Bill Murray) "No, you are a hallucination brought on by alcohol -- Russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl."

• (Ghost of Christmas Past) "Let's face it, Frank. Garden slugs got more out of life than you."
• (Bill Murray) "Yeah? Name one."

• (Bill Murray) "It's not too late on Christmas Eve to have fun, you can call an old college roommate, call, you know an old army buddy, call your personal banker. HEY. I don't hear any partying in that booth, Elliot."
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Great."
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "You heard him, party."
• (Bill Murray) "Now why wasn't I invited?"
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Now that was just an innocent window and you saw what I did to that. Ugh. You don't know who you're dealing with."
• (Bill Murray) "It's a night, you gotta party hardy Marty."

• (Bill Murray) "There are people who are having trouble making their miracle happen; there are people who don't have enough to eat, there are people who are cold, you can go out and say hello to these people. You can take an old blanket out of the closet and go to them and say 'Here.', you can make them a sandwich and say 'oh by the way, here.'"

• (Bill Murray) "Get me Standards and Practices in here. I want to see wreaths."

• (Bill Murray) "The bitch hit me with a toaster."

• (Bill Murray) "Mother -- help me."

• (Unnamed) "I can't get the antlers glued to this little guy. We tried Crazy Glue, but it don't work."
• (Bill Murray) "Did you try staples?"

• (Bill Murray) "Hey. Are you glad to see me, or is this a shotgun in your pocket?"
• (Bill Murray) "All right, you've heard it. How's this for a deal? I hire you back, pay you twice your original salary, and offer you a vice president position. Would you like my office?"
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "No, I don't like your office."
• (Bill Murray) "That's SO YOU."
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "What's the catch?"
• (Bill Murray) "The catch --"
• (Bill Murray) "-- is that you need to shower, little man. You are RIPE. Whoo."

• (Bill Murray) "Quick. What time is it?"
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Somebody stole my watch."

• (Bill Murray) "I'm gonna give you a little advice, Claire -- Scrape 'em off. You wanna save somebody? Save yourself."
• (Karen Allen) "Oh, well, that's a really nice attitude on Christmas Eve."
• (Bill Murray) "Bah, humbug."

• (Bill Murray) "I am the youngest president in the history of television for a reason: I know the people."
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Well, uh -- granted but the people already wanna watch the show."
• (Bill Murray) "That isn't good enough. They have got to be so scared to miss it. So terrified."
• (Bill Murray) "Now if I were in charge, and I am."
• (Bill Murray) "Perhaps I can help you. Here's the kind of thing I would have done. Grace, cue it up."
• (Unnamed) "Acid rain."
• (Unnamed) "Drug addictions."
• (Unnamed) "International terrorism."
• (Unnamed) "Freeway killers."
• (Unnamed) "Now more than ever --"
• (Bill Murray) "It is important to remember the true meaning of Christmas."
• (Unnamed) "Don't miss Charles Dickens' immortal classic Scrooge. Your life --"
• (Bill Murray) "-- might just depend on it."
• (Bill Murray) "Not bad, huh?"

• (Bill Murray) "Grace, what in the hell is this?"
• (Alfre Woodard) "Oh, it's a painting, one of my kids did. See, there's Santa Claus and there's Mrs. Claus."
• (Bill Murray) "Honey, how many fingers does Mrs. Santa Claus have here?"
• (Alfre Woodard) "Eleven."
• (Bill Murray) "Eleven. Right."
• (Bill Murray) "It's crap. Lose it. I don't want it on the wall."

• (Bill Murray) "Where are we?"
• (Ghost of Christmas Past) "Where are we? You mean, "When are we?""

• (Bill Murray) "I never liked a girl well enough to give her twelve sharp knives."

• (Bill Murray) "You've got a promo featuring America's favorite old fart reading a book in front of a fireplace. Now I have to kill all of you."

• (Bill Murray) "The Jews taught me this great word: Schmuck. I was a schmuck, and now I'm not a schmuck."

• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "Close your eyes --. And think of snowflakes and moonbeams and whiskers on kittens --"
• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "Nooooo peeking."
• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "Of rainbows, forget-me-nots -- of misty meadows and sun-dappled pools. Oh, look. There's Mr Hedgehog. I wonder where he's going? Perhaps to HARLEM."
• (Bill Murray) "My jaw."
• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "Sometimes the truth is painful, Frank."
• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "But it's made your cheeks rosy and your eyes bright."
• (Bill Murray) "If you TOUCH ME AGAlN, I'll rip your god****ed wings off. Okay?"

• (Bill Murray) "I'm alive. Yes. I'm alive."
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Not for long."

• (Bill Murray) "He's a bright little guy. What's wrong with him?"
• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "He hasn't spoken since he saw his father killed five years ago. He just drifted away, like Sleeping Beauty."
• (Bill Murray) "I didn't know Grace's husband died."
• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "Oh Frank, don't you remember the time she wore black for a year?"
• (Bill Murray) "I remember her wearing black -- I thought it was a fashion thing. Everybody was wearing black."
• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "Oh Frank."
• (Bill Murray) "Well, is he going to be okay?"
• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "It's his choice, only he can break the spell."

• (Bill Murray) "I want to see her nipples."
• (Censor Lady) "But this is a CHRISTMAS show."
• (Bill Murray) "Well, I'm sure Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples."
• (Carpenter) "You can barely see them nipples."
• (Bill Murray) "See? And these guys are REALLY looking."

• (Bill Murray) "Claire, the whole world. Whole world, Claire."

• (Bill Murray) "I get it now. Then if you GIVE, then it can happen, then the miracle can happen to you. It's not just the poor and the hungry, it's everybody's who's GOT to have this miracle. And it can happen tonight for all of you. If you believe in this spirit thing, the miracle will happen and then you'll want it to happen again tomorrow. You won't be one of these bastards who says 'Christmas is once a year and it's a fraud', it's NOT. It can happen every day, you've just got to want that feeling. And if you like it and you want it, you'll get greedy for it. You'll want it every day of your life and it can happen to you. I believe in it now. I believe it's going to happen to me now. I'm ready for it. And it's great. It's a good feeling, it's really better than I've felt in a long time. I, I, I'm ready. Have a Merry Christmas, everybody."
• (Bill Murray) "Did I forget something big man?"
• (Nicholas Phillips) "God bless us, everyone."

• (Bill Murray) "You're staying here with me. We're working late."
• (Alfre Woodard) "But I have to take my son to the doctor."
• (Bill Murray) "GRACE. When I work late, YOU work late."
• (Alfre Woodard) "But I made the appointment two months ago."
• (Bill Murray) "I DON'T CARE."
• (Bill Murray) "We're indivisible. If I'm working late, you GOTTA work late. If you can't work late, I can't work late. If I can't work late, I CAN'T WORK LATE."

• (Ghost of Christmas Present) "On the "Addams Family", what instrument did Lurch play?"
• (Bill Murray) "I may be invisible, but I am not deaf."

• (Ghost of Christmas Past) "You left Claire for Frisbee the dog? Frank, let me sum this up for you: you don't know who you are, you don't know what you want, and you don't know what the hell is going on."
• (Bill Murray) "I've made a few mistakes. I gotta live with that. But I do know who I am, I know what I want, and I know what's going on."
• (Ghost of Christmas Past) "Hey, Frank. Up here."
• (Bill Murray) "What's going on?"
• (Ghost of Christmas Past) "How should I know? I'm just the ghost. So long, sucker."

• (Bill Murray) "I get it. You're taking me back in time to show me my mother and father, and I'm supposed to get all goosey and blubbery. Well, forget it, pal, you got the wrong guy."
• (Ghost of Christmas Past) "That's exactly what Attila the Hun said. But when he saw his mother -- Niagara Falls."

• (Bill Murray) "It's Christmas Eve. It's -- it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we -- we -- we smile a little easier, we -- w-w-we -- we -- we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be."

Alfre Woodard as Grace

• (Unnamed) "Mom, when are we gonna get a real Christmas tree?"
• (Alfre Woodard) "When they're free."

Bobcat Goldthwait as Elliot

• (Censor Lady) "Ouch."
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Hello, um, Control Room. How can I help you?"
• (Robert Mitchum) "This is Rhinelander. I wanna talk to the idiot who put that moron on the air"
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Oh, um, Brice Cummings is the idiot, sir. But he can't talk to you right now 'cause, uh, he's tied up."
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Uh-huh. Yes. In fact, he just said that you were an flatulating butthead."
• (Robert Mitchum) "A butthead?"
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "He said he never felt that way about a man before, but he really liked you in a certain way."

• (Censor Lady) "AAH."
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Shut up."
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Don't touch that dial and stay at him."

• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Hello, wabbit."
• (Bill Murray) "Could you give me a head start?"
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Sure. One thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three."

• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Hello, IBC program room."
• (Robert Mitchum) "This is Rhinelander. Who's the idiot that put that nut on the air?"
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "Oh, uh, Brice Cummings is the idiot, sir, but uh -- he can't talk to you right now because he's sorta tied up. Uh-huh. Oh, in fact, he just said that you were a flatulating butthead?"
• (Robert Mitchum) "A butthead?"
• (Bobcat Goldthwait) "He said he never felt that way about a man before, but you really looked good in a suit."

John Murray as James Cross

• (John Murray) "My brother, the King of Christmas."

• (John Murray) "You know what they say about people who treat other people bad on the way up?"
• (Bill Murray) "Yeah, you get to treat 'em bad on the way back down too. It's great, you get two chances to rough 'em up."

Michael J. Pollard as Herman

• (Michael J. Pollard) "Boy, that Dick sure knows how to drink, huh?"
• (Bill Murray) "Why do you keep calling me "Dick"?"
• (Michael J. Pollard) "I'm sorry, Mr. Burton, I guess we don't know you well enough yet to call you Dick."

Karen Allen as Claire Phillips

• (Karen Allen) "Why are you so angry?"
• (Bill Murray) "Why haven't you learned how to button a coat?"

• (Karen Allen) "Taxi. Can you get me to the IBC building in three minutes?"
• (Ghost of Christmas Past) "Which floor?"

• (Karen Allen) "That's the one good thing about regret: it's never too late. You can always change tomorrow if you want to."

Brian Doyle-Murray as Earl Cross

• (Brian Doyle-Murray) "All day long, I listen to people give me excuses why they can't work -- 'My back hurts,' 'my legs ache,' 'I'm only four.' The sooner he learns life isn't handed to him on a silver platter, the better."

John Forsythe as Lew Hayward

• (John Forsythe) "I was a captain of industry; feared by men, adored by women."
• (Bill Murray) "Adored. Come on, let's be honest, Lew. You paid for the women."

• (John Forsythe) "I don't mind you shooting at me, Frank, but take it easy on the Bacardi."

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