Saved! Quotes

Saved! is a television show that first aired in 1970 . Saved! stopped airing in 1970.

It features Michael Ohoven as producer, Christophe Beck in charge of musical score, and Bobby Bukowski as head of cinematography.

Saved! is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Saved! is 92 minutes long. Saved! is distributed by MGM Distribution Co..

The cast includes: Eva Amurri as Dean, Patrick Fugit as Patrick, Jena Malone as Mary, Mandy Moore as Hilary Faye, Eva Amurri as Cassandra, Mary-Louise Parker as Lillian, Martin Donovan as Pastor Skip, Elizabeth Thai as Veronica, and Heather Matarazzo as Tia.

Saved! Quotes

Jena Malone as Mary

• (Jena Malone) "What? Did they send you over so you could strap me onto the back of your scooter?"
• (Patrick Fugit) ""Scooter"? Mary, this is a Vespa."

• (Jena Malone) "Please let it be cancer, please let it be cancer, please let it be cancer --"

• (Jena Malone) "s***, f***, god****."

• (Jena Malone) "Okay, I'm pretty sure this isn't what Jesus had in mind when he said, "Help Dean." Look, don't be too harsh. I'm not the first person to ever get the message screwed up. Looking at her, it's like life is too amazing to be this random and meaningless consequence of the universe. There had to be a God -- or something out there."

• (Jena Malone) "Cassandra Edelstine was the first Jewish to ever attend Christian Eagle High School amid rumors that she was a stripper. Everyone wanted to get her saved. Especially Hilary Faye."

• (Jena Malone) "I need to tell you guys something."
• (Mandy Moore) "Eew."
• (Elizabeth Thai) "Eew."
• (Roland) "WHAT? Wasn't like it was some kind of secret. The guy was like a one-man gay pride parade."

• (Jena Malone) "Why would God make us so different if he wanted us to be the same?"

• (Jena Malone) "I've been born again my whole life -- accepting Jesus."

• (Jena Malone) "I know this is wrong, but do you ever wonder if she just made the whole thing up? I mean, it's a pretty good one. It's not like anyone can ever use virgin birth as an excuse again."
• (Jena Malone) "I don't really think she made it up, but I can understand why a girl would."

• (Jena Malone) "Dean. What are you doing here?"
• (Eva Amurri) "I'm going to my Prom."
• (Jena Malone) "Mercy House let you guys take the van?"
• (Eva Amurri) "Well no not really, we sort of led a rebellion and swiped it. You're pregnant?"
• (Jena Malone) "I wanted to tell you --"
• (Eva Amurri) "Our first time?"
• (Eva Amurri) "That's so awesome."

• (Jena Malone) "My mom just compared me to a car -- so me -- having a baby -- definitely falls into the category of things she couldn't handle."

Martin Donovan as Pastor Skip

• (Martin Donovan) "I think the Christian thing to do would be to let them stay."
• (Mandy Moore) "The Christian thing to do? I have been doing the CHRISTIAN THING my whole life. I did not have sex with a gay and try to blame it on Jesus."
• (Jena Malone) "Hilary Faye --"
• (Mandy Moore) "Oh, shut up, you fornicator."

• (Martin Donovan) "Let's get our Christ on, let's kick it Jesus-style."

• (Martin Donovan) "Patrick, this is not a gray area."
• (Patrick Fugit) "Dad, it's all a gray area."
• (Martin Donovan) "THE BIBLE IS BLACK AND WHITE."

• (Martin Donovan) "All right. All right. Who's down with G-O-D?"

• (Martin Donovan) "Listen, I'm concerned about Mary. Something's going on."
• (Mandy Moore) "Yeah, me too."
• (Martin Donovan) "Well, she's part of your posse, and I think that you could help her. I'm gonna need you to be a warrior out there on the front lines for Jesus."
• (Heather Matarazzo) "You mean like shoot her."
• (Martin Donovan) "No, I was thinking of something a little less gangsta."

Heather Matarazzo as Tia

• (Heather Matarazzo) "Stop being so stingy."
• (Mandy Moore) "What? They're my Valentine's day chocolates."
• (Heather Matarazzo) "Hilary Faye, you bought them for yourself so it doesn't count."

• (Heather Matarazzo) "JESUS DIED FOR YOUR SINS."
• (Mandy Moore) "Tia, calm down."

• (Heather Matarazzo) "Oh my god, the Jew girl's speaking in tongues."
• (Roland) "She's going to show her boobs. Thank you Jesus."
• (Patrick Fugit) "She is, she's going to show her boobs."
• (Mandy Moore) "She's saying she has a hot p*****."

Eva Amurri as Cassandra

• (Eva Amurri) "What are you supposed to be?"
• (Roland) "A roller skate."

• (Eva Amurri) "I'm not really a stripper --"
• (Roland) "I'm not really a Christian."

• (Eva Amurri) "Doesn't it bother you to have people smoking around you? It's so bad for the baby."
• (Jena Malone) "I'm not pregnant."
• (Eva Amurri) "So what are you gonna do? It's too late for the big "A". You look like a smuggler. I know a place where you could sell it."
• (Jena Malone) "I'm not going to sell my --"
• (Eva Amurri) "It's Dean's, isn't it?"

• (Paramedic) "I only got room for one of you."
• (Eva Amurri) "I'm the father --"
• (Patrick Fugit) "I'm the boyfriend --"
• (Mitch) "I'm HIS boyfriend."
• (Paramedic) "That's nice, but I still only got room for one of you."

• (Eva Amurri) "So I figured they would have sent you to a special school by now."
• (Roland) "This IS a special school."

• (Eva Amurri) "So, Patrick asked you out and you turned him down? The boy is a tomcat, even if he is a big JC freak. And; double plus bonus; I'm pretty sure he's not a 'mo."
• (Jena Malone) "He's Pastor Skip's son, and I'm about to pop a baby out."
• (Eva Amurri) "I should tell Patrick to act gay around you, maybe then he'll get a little action."

• (Eva Amurri) "If you're interested, I know some people who would pay a lot of money to take naked pictures of you in a "family way"."
• (Jena Malone) "Yeah? How much money?"

• (Eva Amurri) "I should kick your fat Christian ass right now."
• (Mandy Moore) "You know what? Whatever."
• (Mandy Moore) "And I'm not even fat."
• (Eva Amurri) "Your head is fat. Oh. And your ass is fat."
• (Mandy Moore) "WHATEVER."

• (Eva Amurri) "Are you playing footsies with me?"
• (Roland) "Wheelies."

• (Eva Amurri) "Now that's what I call being hung on a cross."

• (Eva Amurri) "She made me listen to the whole Elms CD on her iPod."

• (Eva Amurri) "Piss off, asshole. Oh, and another thing? No more muffins for you. The muffin shop is closed."

• (Eva Amurri) "Did I ever tell you about the time I shoplifted a frozen turkey out of a Piggly Wiggly wearing only a tube top and daisy dukes?"

• (Eva Amurri) "We should get back inside."
• (Roland) "Nice."
• (Eva Amurri) "Do you want a push?"
• (Roland) "Thanks."
• (Eva Amurri) "If you stare at my ass again, I will push you off a cliff."

• (Eva Amurri) "Roland and I both saw you sneaking out of the clinic. Kudos on the Bono shades by the way."

• (Eva Amurri) "It's ok. Last year I got saved so I could go on the ski trip."

Patrick Fugit as Patrick

• (Patrick Fugit) "Mary, you want to go out sometime?"
• (Jena Malone) "What? Are you going to take me out on your "scooter"?"
• (Patrick Fugit) "Come on, I'm like, totally adorable, besides, it would drive Hilary Faye crazy."
• (Jena Malone) "I can't. I'm -- not dating right now."
• (Patrick Fugit) "What about tomorrow night? Will you be dating then?"

• (Patrick Fugit) "I like you, Mary. I do. God gave us free will, and that day at Hilary Faye's, you weren't afraid to use it. You inspired me. You amaze me, Mary."

• (Patrick Fugit) "I bought both red and yellow, because I didn't know -- which --"
• (Jena Malone) "But Patrick;"
• (Patrick Fugit) "Mary? Honestly? It doesn't matter to me."

• (Patrick Fugit) "Come here. Sorry"
• (Jena Malone) "What are you doing, Patrick?"
• (Patrick Fugit) "I just wanna see what's in here."
• (Jena Malone) "But --"
• (Patrick Fugit) "No, no, come on."
• (Jena Malone) "No. We're not allowed --"
• (Patrick Fugit) "Just for a second."
• (Jena Malone) "I don't think we should be in here."
• (Patrick Fugit) "Yes, yes we should definitely be in here."
• (Jena Malone) "No."

Mandy Moore as Hilary Faye

• (Mandy Moore) "I know what you're looking at, Mary. And Jesus does too."

• (Mandy Moore) "Roland, does Jesus still love me?"
• (Roland) "Probably not."
• (Roland) "Yeah, why not."

• (Mandy Moore) "Well, if it isn't the Heathens."
• (Eva Amurri) "Burn in hell, you narrow-minded, tacky-ass bitch."

• (Mandy Moore) "You know, secondhand smoke kills."
• (Eva Amurri) "I'm counting on it."

• (Mandy Moore) "You better be wearing underwear this time."
• (Eva Amurri) "Heh."

• (Roland) "Are you okay?"
• (Mandy Moore) "No, Roland -- I crashed my van into Jesus. Okay? I have a pimple the size of Jupiter. I am NOT okay. This is not how I wanted to remember my Prom. This is not how I wanted to remember my life."
• (Roland) "Well maybe we can fix it -- with some glue, or something"

• (Mandy Moore) "PASTOR SKIP."

• (Mandy Moore) "Lay off the tiara, Tia."

• (Mandy Moore) "Mary, turn away from Satan. Jesus, he loves you."
• (Jena Malone) "You don't know the first thing about love."
• (Mandy Moore) "I am FILLED with Christ's love. You are just jealous of my success in the Lord."
• (Jena Malone) "This is not a weapon. You idiot."

• (Mandy Moore) "Want to get something to eat with us?"
• (Patrick Fugit) "We're going to DQ."
• (Eva Amurri) "Why? So we can watch Hilary Faye try to get into your Easter basket? No thanks."

• (Mandy Moore) "Hey Cass. How do you feel?"
• (Eva Amurri) "Oh, I'm a whole new girl Hay-Faye."
• (Mandy Moore) "I TOLD YOU. How great is Jesus?"
• (Eva Amurri) "Yeah, um, about that -- I've decided to devote my life to Satan instead. Thanks though."

• (Mandy Moore) "I mean you're not born a gay, you're born again."

• (Mandy Moore) "Us Christian girls have got to learn to protect ourselves. I mean, sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some"
• (Mandy Moore) "rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary."

Elizabeth Thai as Veronica

• (Elizabeth Thai) "Roland is so blessed to have such a thoughtful sister. You know, in countries like China, Hilary Faye would probably have been killed at birth."
• (Mandy Moore) "And then where would you be, Roland?"
• (Roland) "China."

Mary-Louise Parker as Lillian

• (Mary-Louise Parker) "I keep trying to remind myself that when Jesus closes a door he opens a window."
• (Jena Malone) "Yeah, so we have something to jump out of."

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