Rounders (film) Quotes

Rounders (film) is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Rounders stopped airing in 1970.

It features Joel Stillerman as producer, Christopher Young in charge of musical score, and Jean-Yves Escoffier as head of cinematography.

Rounders (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Rounders (film) is 121 minutes long. Rounders (film) is distributed by Miramax.

The cast includes: Matt Damon as Mike McDermott, John Malkovich as Teddy KGB, Edward Norton as Worm, Famke Janssen as Petra, Michael Rispoli as Grama, John Turturro as Joey Knish, Gretchen Mol as Jo, Edward Norton as Lester 'Worm' Murphy, Tom Aldredge as Judge Marinacci, Adam LeFerve as Sean Frye, and Josh Mostel as Zagosh.

Rounders (film) Quotes

Edward Norton as Worm

• (Edward Norton) "why don't you warm up a sit for me?"
• (Matt Damon) "What?"
• (Edward Norton) "I got certain "needs" I have to attend to I'm overdue"
• (Matt Damon) "Good I was starting to wonder about you, I thought maybe the boys upstate brought about a few changes in you"
• (Edward Norton) "hey, In your dreams lover"

• (Edward Norton) "She's really got him by the balls."
• (Famke Janssen) "That's not so bad, is it?"
• (Edward Norton) "It depends on the grip."

• (Edward Norton) "Now, what did I ever do to that guy?"
• (Matt Damon) "You f***ed his mother"
• (Edward Norton) "yeah but she was a good looking older woman you gotta give me that."

• (Edward Norton) "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f***in' rake."
• (Matt Damon) "What the f*** are you talkin' about. What saying?"
• (Edward Norton) "I-I don't know. There ought to be one though."

• (Edward Norton) "have you been working? Is your game sharp?"
• (Matt Damon) "No, I'm off it"
• (Edward Norton) "You're getting cold cards?"
• (Matt Damon) "No I quit"
• (Edward Norton) "What, are you s***ting me?"
• (Matt Damon) "I got cleaned out"
• (Edward Norton) "Mike McDe, you lost?"
• (Matt Damon) "It was a real blood game over at KGB's place"
• (Edward Norton) "You sat down with the mad Russian and he emptied your pockets?"
• (Matt Damon) "Yeah I didn't want to tell you while you were in prison, I didn't want to dispirit you."
• (Edward Norton) "So you're just a student now? What are doing for money?"
• (Matt Damon) "I'm driving Knish's truck"
• (Edward Norton) "Oh my God, you're killing me, we've got to get you back in the game we're old partners, we're going to "run it" like we always did."
• (Matt Damon) "No, I'm off it I really am, I'm done."

• (Edward Norton) "What do you want me to say? Those were wild times you were there too"
• (Matt Damon) "Nothing's changed you were hiding from your troubles then and your hiding from your troubles now"
• (Edward Norton) "I like to hide that's part of the fun for me"
• (Matt Damon) "If we f***ed up back then the worst thing that could happen was catch a beating or get expelled, you're fixing to go down it's almost as if you want to"

• (Edward Norton) "Here's the play: I know this girl Barbra I was so close to banging her before I went away, she works as a hostess for all the trust fund babies in there, she got me in their game, she introduces me as her "cousin" from out of town who loves to gamble and wants to win at poker."
• (Matt Damon) "It sounds solid, that's a nice hook up"
• (Edward Norton) "It's all the way nice, but I got this "feeling"."
• (Matt Damon) "What "feeling" is that exactly?"
• (Edward Norton) "You know this "feeling", I got the table all set, knife, fork, sauce --"
• (Matt Damon) "You just don't have the "steak""
• (Edward Norton) "Exactly"
• (Matt Damon) "here's two twenty, that'll get you started"
• (Edward Norton) "Two twenty? Thanks but that's like eleven bets I can't even get a table in here."
• (Matt Damon) "Then forget this game I'll straighten you out in the city tomorrow."
• (Edward Norton) "I'm already behind here."
• (Matt Damon) "You just got out, what's the big f***ing hurry?"
• (Edward Norton) "The hurry is other than you, there are five guys eagerly waiting my release."
• (Matt Damon) "How much do you owe?"
• (Edward Norton) "Like ten."
• (Matt Damon) "Ten?"
• (Edward Norton) "I can't even figure it out with the juice. I can get started on this easy if it's you and me working together."
• (Matt Damon) "I heard you asking me before and I hear you asking now but I can't do that, I just can't do that, I've made promises."
• (Edward Norton) "I totally understand, its fine. I'll just make a couple moves earlier than I would've before."

• (Edward Norton) "Like my uncle Les used to say "When the money is gone, it's time to move on". So enjoy it, you secret handshaking assholes."

• (Edward Norton) "You've got to understand there's two economies in there, there's cash and there's trade, so I've got to keep three games going at once, a game with the white guys, a game with the brothers and a game with the guards, the trick is I've got to skim enough cash off the white guys so I can lose it to the guards so they can keep doing me favors and then I've got to trim enough smokes off the brothers so I can trade and keep living in the "style" I've grown accustomed to and I've got to do all of this without getting my ass kicked."

• (Edward Norton) "You know what always cheers me up, when I'm feeling s***ty?"
• (Matt Damon) "No, what's that?"
• (Edward Norton) "Rolled up aces over kings. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. Playing all-night high-limit Hold'em at the Taj, "where the sand turns to gold." Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over."
• (Matt Damon) "f*** it, let's go."
• (Edward Norton) "Don't tease me."
• (Matt Damon) "Let's play some cards."
• (Edward Norton) "Yes."

• (Edward Norton) "Who wants more? I'm in, I'm staging a late night comeback, a "late night rally", just to warn you"
• (Vitter) "Hold on there"
• (Edward Norton) "What are you doing?"
• (Vitter) "Give me the deck"
• (Edward Norton) "Relax don't get so agitated"
• (Vitter) "Looks like we got a rogue game here"
• (Edward Norton) "A what?"
• (State Trooper) "What the hell is going on over here?"
• (Vitter) "This son of a bitch is base dealing, I caught a hanger"
• (Edward Norton) "A "hanger"? What are you saying? I don't even know what you're saying"
• (State Trooper) "His saying you're dealing off the bottom of the deck"
• (Edward Norton) "Come on guys"
• (Adam LeFerve) "What'd he give him?"
• (Vitter) "Seven of hearts"
• (State Trooper) "You boys working? Are you professionals?"
• (Matt Damon) "No listen I was winning before this guy got here"
• (State Trooper) "Let the cards do the talking, if the seven didn't help you we'll listen to what you have to say"
• (Edward Norton) "hey, three of a kind you've Ozzie three sixes like --"
• (Vitter) "SHUT UP"
• (State Trooper) "One last thing"
• (Edward Norton) "Alright take it easy are you going to read us our rights at least?"

• (Edward Norton) "Hey, I'm not gonna let a garbage can fall on my head."
• (Matt Damon) "No, you're gonna jump out of the way and let it land on me."

Matt Damon as Mike McDermott

• (Matt Damon) "It's plenty wise we know what we're holding and we know what you're holding"
• (Tom Aldredge) "The f*** you know what we all got"
• (Matt Damon) "Summer clerkship in your office says I know what your holding"
• (Tom Aldredge) "I wouldn't bet with a job like that let's just say "I'll put you at the top of the list" if your right"

• (Professor Petrovsky) "You're in trouble?"
• (Matt Damon) "Yes sir, I am, not with the law, I owe"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "Gambling debt?"
• (Matt Damon) "Yes, it's not mine, I vouched for the wrong guy, now it's on me"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "I understand, what will it take to be free of this?"
• (Matt Damon) "I need fifteen thousand tonight"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "I'm not a wealthy man"
• (Matt Damon) "I know, it kills me to ask you this, I don't have any other play, if you can help me at all"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "I hate to see you like this and I want to help you, if it must be tonight, ten is the best I can do"
• (Matt Damon) "Will you do that?"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "Yes"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "so you take this money and get yourself out of this trouble, you hear me?"
• (Matt Damon) "I promise I'll pay you back"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "I know good luck"

• (Matt Damon) "What the f*** were you thinking?"
• (Edward Norton) "I was trying to give us an edge"
• (Matt Damon) "I had them"
• (Edward Norton) "Look I'm sorry we got banged up, I took a shot and missed, it happens"
• (Matt Damon) "Happens all the time around you"
• (Edward Norton) "And it doesn't happen to you? You're the one that flushed his whole bank roll on one hand"
• (Matt Damon) "Oh f*** you man, that was different"
• (Edward Norton) "How is that different? What makes you so f***ing special? Why are all your moves so smart and noble and I'm always the idiot piece of s***? You act like you're only one with any ambition"
• (Matt Damon) "Then what's your ambition? I don't know, you tell me"
• (Edward Norton) "I don't know, I don't think like that"
• (Matt Damon) "No, you don't think"
• (Edward Norton) "No, I don't think like you, you always think you can beat the game straight up, that's not me, and I'm always going to look for that edge, always"
• (Matt Damon) "Alright, what's the edge now? We owe fifteen grand in a day and we're broke, what the f*** do we do?"
• (Edward Norton) "That's easy, we get the f*** outta dodge, we stay clear of the city for a while, we'll hit the road, we'll be up again in no time, this will all blow over, we'll have a ball."
• (Matt Damon) "not a f***ing chance I'm going to live like that, you talk to Grama, you get him to stake me"
• (Edward Norton) "it's not going to work, we're not dealing with Grama."
• (Matt Damon) "you said Grama was on his own"
• (Matt Damon) "you told me Grama was on his own"
• (Edward Norton) "KGB bankrolled him"
• (Matt Damon) "So you just f***ed us right in the ass"
• (Edward Norton) "yeah, all the way, you see what I'm saying. no fooling around, it's highway time, you with me or not?"
• (Matt Damon) "no I'm not this time."
• (Edward Norton) ", you're really going back there?"
• (Matt Damon) "yeah"

• (Matt Damon) "The game is no limit hold 'em. The Cadillac of poker."

• (Matt Damon) "What happened?"
• (Edward Norton) "Nothing, she closed her legs too fast."

• (Matt Damon) "I always told her she'd be a good card player, she'd know exactly know when to release a s***ty hand"
• (Edward Norton) "Oh come on forget that this girl is obviously wrapped way too tight for a living"
• (Matt Damon) "I knew it, I f***ing knew it"
• (Edward Norton) "This is depressing you can't trust them, you can't trust them at all, you domesticated yourself for this girl you took yourself out of life you walked a f***ing line for her and the minute you want a little of it back she walks out on you"

• (Matt Damon) "Doyle Brunson says" the key to no limit is to put a man to a decision for all his chips" Teddy's just did it his representing aces the only hand better than my cowboys I can't call and just give him a chance to catch I can only fold if I believe him in a heads up match your stack is almost as important as the quality of your cards I chopped one of his legs off in the first hand now all I have to do is lean on him until he falls over"
• (Matt Damon) "the rule is this: if you spot a man's tell, you don't say a f***ing word I finally spotted KGB's and usually I'd let him chewing those Oreos until he was dead broke but I don't have that kind of time I've only got until morning not even Teddy KGB is immune to getting a little rattled"

• (Matt Damon) "The game in question is no limit Texas hold'em minimum buy in twenty five thousand dollars a game like this doesn't come around often outside the casinos, the stakes attract rich flounders and they in turn attract the sharks, each player is dealt two cards face down then five cards are dealt face up these are known as community cards everyone can use to make the best five card hand, the key to the game is playing the man, not the cards, there's no other game in which fortunes can change so much from hand to hand, a brilliant player can get a strong hand, crack go on tilt and lose his mind along with every chip in front of him, this is why The World Series of Poker is decided on a no limit hold'em table, pro's won't play no limit they can't handle the swings but there are others like Doyle Brunson consider no limit the only pure game left, "Like Papa Wallenda said, "Life is on the wire, the rest is just waiting.""

• (Matt Damon) "Are you satisfied now, Teddy? Because I can keep busting you up all night if you like."

• (Matt Damon) "I'll be really quick. You won't feel a thing."

• (Matt Damon) "What's with kiting my checks?"
• (Edward Norton) "I'm on empty that's why"
• (Matt Damon) "You're tapped again? How much was the hooker?"
• (Edward Norton) ""Relaxation therapist" that's not where it went"
• (Matt Damon) "You lost it to Roman and Maurice? I told you, you didn't have to give it all back to them, take some money for your time"
• (Edward Norton) "That's not where it went either. I ran into Grama tonight he took everything I had"
• (Matt Damon) "Who's he working for?"
• (Edward Norton) "His sort of out on his own, this f***er went around and bought up all my debt"
• (Matt Damon) "That turn coat motherf***er you kidding me? So what'd you owe him?"
• (Edward Norton) "I don't know his crazy gorilla math, like fifteen"
• (Matt Damon) "Fifteen?"
• (Edward Norton) "Yeah he said the juice has been running the entire time on my ten"
• (Matt Damon) "Why didn't you tell me that? I could've paid that off, I had the money"
• (Edward Norton) "I'm not going to sit in the can and have my friend pay off my debt, I'm not a leech, we can help each other like always that's why we've got to get into the bigger games"
• (Matt Damon) "You know I'll help you, f*** that guy, we'll figure something out"

• (Matt Damon) "Generally the rule is: the nicer the guy, the poorer the card player, these guys despite being cops are real sweet hearts. I'm right on schedule, I'm up forty two hundred. The morning can't get here soon enough."

• (Matt Damon) "How the hell am I supposed to get in this game?"
• (Edward Norton) "I told to its easy the whole time in the joint I was dumping money to guards this one guy Pete Frye, I must've lost ten grand over eighteen months, he said when if I ever want a game just look up his nephew, you just go in there and ask for "Sean Frye" you're going to clean this game up these guys are total suckers"
• (Matt Damon) "Alright give me like eight hours come back at seven, seven thirty"
• (Edward Norton) "I was thinking "what am I going to do for eight hours?" why don't I come in and just sit for a little while?"
• (Matt Damon) "No, not a chance"
• (Edward Norton) "I'll sit at the other table and play "straight""
• (Matt Damon) "You want to play "straight"? You go in there I'll be back in eight hours"

• (Matt Damon) "That's 4,400. I'm gonna call you. Or else, I won't respect myself tomorrow morning."
• (John Malkovich) "Respect is all you have left in the morning."

• (Matt Damon) "Mind if I sit?"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "Please, have a seat"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "That was a nifty trick the other night"
• (Matt Damon) "Thank you"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "Marinacci and the DA were ready to cut cards for your services, of course it was altogether a different trick you pulled today, the disappearing act at your meeting."
• (Matt Damon) "Yeah, I figured I owe you an explanation."
• (Professor Petrovsky) "No, not to me, I'm sure there was a good reason you left, you just have to work harder, prepare and smooth things out with the others, I'm sure there was a good reason why you left."

• (Matt Damon) "I've often seen these people, these squares at the table, short stack and long odds against them. All their outs gone. One last card in the deck that can help them. I used to wonder how they could let themselves get into such bad shape, and how the hell they thought they could turn it around."

• (Matt Damon) "You comin' up?"
• (Edward Norton) "No, I've been standin' out here all this time just to say hi."
• (Matt Damon) "All right, listen, things haven't been that smooth on the homefront so, you know, tone it down a little, all right?"
• (Edward Norton) "Tone done what, motherf***er?"

• (Matt Damon) "The poker room at The Mirage in Vegas is the center of the poker universe. Doyle Brunson, Johnny Chan, Phil Hellmuth the legends consider it their office, every couple of days a new millionaire shows up wanting to beat a world champion. Usually they go home with nothing but a story, down here the millionaires are scarce or they're playing craps, there's still plenty of money there for the taking, in fact you can't game in the city because the New York rounders are taking out the tourists here."

• (Moogie) "Hey, lemme ask you a question. In the legal sense, can f***in' Steinbrenner move the Yankees? Does he have the f***in' right to just move them?"
• (Matt Damon) "How should I know that?"
• (Moogie) "You didn't learn that yet?"
• (Matt Damon) "No, we get to Steinbrenner in third year law school."
• (Moogie) "Oh --"

• (Matt Damon) "It's like the nature channel -- you don't see Piranhas eating themselves, do you?"

• (Matt Damon) "First prize at the World Series of Poker is a million bucks. Does it have my name on it? I don't know. But, I'm gonna find out."

• (Matt Damon) "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker."

• (Matt Damon) "Let's start the hurley."

• (Matt Damon) "Fifteen grand in five days I can do that I've gone on rushes like that before"
• (Edward Norton) "On optimum conditions with a bank roll, maybe, what'd you got on you?"
• (Matt Damon) "I got like three fifty"
• (Edward Norton) "That's twelve hundred between us we might've play the lotto"
• (Matt Damon) "You find the games you scout them out I sit I mop them up"
• (Edward Norton) "We might have a shot at this if we sat down and did our thing"
• (Matt Damon) "No I'm going to do that, I'm going to do this straight up"

• (Matt Damon) "you were lookin' for that third three, but you forgot that Professor Green folded on Fourth Street and now you're representing that you have it. The DA made his two pair, but he knows they're no good. Judge Kaplan was trying to squeeze out a diamond flush but he came up short and Mr. Eisen is futilely hoping that his queens are going to stand up. So like I said, the Dean's bet is $20."

• (Professor Petrovsky) "For generations, the men of my family have been rabbis in Israel before that in Europe, it was to be my calling. I was quite a prodigy. I was the "pride" of my Yeshiva. The elders said I had a forty year old understanding of the Midrash. By the time I was twelve by the time I was thirteen I knew I could never be a rabbi."
• (Matt Damon) "Why not?"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "Because for all I understood of the Talmud, I never saw God there."

• (Matt Damon) "Uh, you know what? I got my five grand here. That's just fine by me. I'm going home."
• (John Malkovich) "Fine. It's a f***ing joke anyway. After all, I am paying you with your money."
• (Matt Damon) "What did you say?"
• (John Malkovich) "Your money -- I am still up 20 grand -- from this last time I stick it in you."
• (Matt Damon) "They're trying to goad me, trying to own me. But this isn't a gunfight. It's not about pride or ego. It's only about money. I can leave now, even with Grama and KGB -- and halfway to paying Petrovsky back. That's the safe play. I told Worm you can't lose what you don't put in the middle. But you can't win much either."

• (Matt Damon) "Would you stop f***ing around, for five god**** minutes for once in your f***ing life?"
• (Edward Norton) "Whoa, Jesus, what happened? My old man just walked in."

• (Matt Damon) "In "Confessions of a Winning Poker Player," Jack King said, "Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career." It seems true to me, cause walking in here, I can hardly remember how I built my bankroll, but I can't stop thinking of how I lost it."

• (Matt Damon) "It's immoral to let a sucker keep his money."

• (Matt Damon) "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas? It's a skill game Jo."

• (Matt Damon) "Fold or hang tough, fold or raise the bet. These are decisions you make at the table, sometimes the odds are stacked so clear there's only one way to play it other times like holding a small pair against two over cards six to five or even money, either way then it's all about feel what's in your guts"

• (Matt Damon) "just walking in here makes me queasy, the brick walls, the f***ing mopes at the table, the musty smell, I feel like Buckner walking back into Shea, but what choice do I have?"

• (Matt Damon) "What can you do for me? I mean five hundred isn't even enough to get me started"
• (John Turturro) "Five hundred won't help, what's two grand going to do? What kind of trouble you in?"
• (Matt Damon) "With the worst kind, with the worst guy"
• (John Turturro) "KGB?"
• (Matt Damon) "Yeah"
• (John Turturro) "Didn't I tell you? Never let that guy ahold of you?"
• (Matt Damon) "You told me a lot of things"
• (John Turturro) "Yeah I did, and you don't listen, I tell you to play within your means, you risk your whole bank roll, I tell you not to over extend yourself, to rebuild, so you don't have to hock for more, I was giving you a living, showing you the playbook I put together off my beats and that wasn't enough for you"
• (Matt Damon) "This is the one time I don't need you to tell me how I f***ed up, I know I f***ed up, what I need from you is money, I need whatever money you can give me"
• (John Turturro) "That's the thing, this time there is no money, I give you two grand what's that buy you? A day? No I give it to you I'm wasting it"
• (Matt Damon) "That's f***ing great"
• (John Turturro) "You did it to yourself, you had to put it all on the line for some Vegas pipe dream"
• (Matt Damon) "I took a risk, I took a risk, you see all the angles, and you never have the f***ing stones to play one"
• (John Turturro) "Stones? you little punk, I'm not playing for the thrill of f***ing victory here, I owe rent, alimony, child support, I play for money, my kids eat, I got stones enough not to chase card actions of f***ing pipe dreams of winning the world series on ESPN, but about the money I've got to turn my back, I've got to say no"
• (Matt Damon) "That's fine I understand"

• (Matt Damon) "these two have no idea what they're about to walk into, down here to have a good time they figure, "why not give poker a try? after all how different could it be from the home games they've played their whole lives?" All the luck in the world isn't going to change things for these guys, they're simply over matched, we're not playing together but then again we're not playing against each other, they wear their "tells" like signs around their necks, facial tics, nervous fingers the hand over the mouth, the way a cigarette is smoked, little unconscious gestures that reveal the cards in their hands. We catch everything if a fish acts strong he's bluffing, if he acts weak his got a hand, it's that simple."

• (Matt Damon) "I turned my ten grand into just over sixty, paid fifteen to Grama, six went back to the Chesterfield, and as for Worm, I figure we're even and after the ten going back to the professor I'm back where I started: "three stacks of high society""

• (Matt Damon) "I tell you it's hard leaving that game, an open invitation to lay with those lames but I'm retired, and in my playing days, it'd be pretty sweet to have anyone of them owing me favors. The truth is I could always find games though, easy games, tough games, straight games, crooked games, home games. I can turn this truck onto the Jersey Turnpike and be at the Taj Mahal casino in two hours, but I've made promises I'm just a law student now."

• (Professor Petrovsky) "I know a magician doesn't reveal his secrets"
• (Matt Damon) "I'm not a magician"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "If it wasn't "magic", how did you know what everyone held?"
• (Matt Damon) "It's a combination of things: I was watching when the cards came out, that's just an old habit with me, it's like breathing"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "Watch the cards?"
• (Matt Damon) "I watch the cards but I also watch the player react to the cards. That's how I knew the DA made his two pair and judge Kaplan missed the flush, I was watching their eyes when they checked their river cards, their faces tell you everything"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "you watch the man? I never knew you had to calculate so much in cards"
• (Matt Damon) "here's some advice, just play premium hands, you only start with jacks or better if its good enough to call you've also got to be in there raising, tight but aggressive and I do mean aggressive, you've got to think of it as a war"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "you're officially never invited to our game again"
• (Matt Damon) "I don't blame you, put a guy like me in that game, cards don't even matter I'll play it blind"

• (Matt Damon) "You're in town for five f***ing minutes and you already got a sign on your back"
• (Edward Norton) "That f***ing Knish rat me out? Come on you've got to stop listening to that guy, he sees all the angles but doesn't have the balls to play any."
• (Matt Damon) "That guy hasn't had to work in fifteen years"
• (Edward Norton) "You don't think that's work? Grinding it out on his leather ass? No thank you."
• (Matt Damon) "I thought so too now I know what real work is, speaking of which are you going to get a job? Are you going to look? Or you're just going back to printing those credit cards? Are you going away again?"
• (Edward Norton) "First of all I wasn't "printing" I was "distributing" its different, second of all I'm never going back there, stop worrying so much."
• (Matt Damon) "I want you to think long term, be smart every place in Manhattan they all keep books if you get listed as a "mechanic" not only you're going to get the s*** kicked out of you you're not going to get a game anywhere in New York, it's just stupid it's bad business."
• (Edward Norton) "This is what I love about you, you think about the big picture."
• (Edward Norton) "But it's not me, I don't play the game straight up then if I lose I find some real work I see a mark I take them down, that's what I do, that's the way I live."
• (Matt Damon) "I know you're the guy that taught me all the angles but I'm not the one with my nose open right now, I'm going to preach to you, those two guys in there they're not "rabbits",Roman and Maurice they're Russian outfit guys, not as bad as KGB but you don't want to be f***ing around with those guys."
• (Edward Norton) "Those fake Versace shirts and s***?"
• (Matt Damon) "You still got time, go back in there and lose their money back to them, and make it look good."

• (Matt Damon) "I don't know if I'm going to bring my legal career to a crashing halt before it even starts but sometimes I just can't help myself."

• (Matt Damon) "The amazing thing is, in this collection of great legal minds there isn't a single real card player."

• (Matt Damon) "You can shear a sheep many times, but skin him only once."

• (Matt Damon) "You have a respectable profession"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "Not to my family my parents were devastated, destroyed by my decision my father sent me away to New York to live with distant cousins I eventually found my place, my life's work"
• (Matt Damon) "What then?"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "I amerced myself fully, I studied everything I could about the law I felt deeply inside that it was what I was born to do"
• (Matt Damon) "Did your parents get over it?"
• (Professor Petrovsky) "No, I always hoped that I would find some way to change their mind, but they were inconsolable, my father never spoke to me again"

• (Matt Damon) "Worm's dad did the grounds, when he wasn't too f***ing drunk, that's when we did them, of course the grounds weren't all we did, Worm put us into a scam a day on all the young aristocrats we went to school with, selling them dime bags of Oregano, nunchakus, or fire crackers from Chinatown, kept us in lunch money until the time we went from more than just pocket change and got caught we had the starting five take a dive against Friends Academy the point guard snapped and gave Worm up, they hauled him before the school board and offered him a deal " tell us who else was involved and we'll go easy on you" Worm didn't say a f***ing word and got himself expelled, I stayed in school and graduated, not many friends can stand up for a friend like that."

John Turturro as Joey Knish

• (John Turturro) "This is what I like to see Mike McDermott where he belongs, sitting with the scum bags telling jokes dragging the occasional pot."
• (Guberman) "occasional? like my occasionally went out with other men"
• (John Turturro) "I was actually going to try to make some real money tonight but in Mike's honor return to the ring, I'll sit with you all for a while"
• (Famke Janssen) "don't do us any favors, they're about to go to the boards to fill these seats"
• (Josh Mostel) "you know if we wanted to take each other's "rolls" we could've just stayed home"

• (John Turturro) "Hey Jo, Long time."
• (Gretchen Mol) "Knish. How are you?"
• (John Turturro) "The same."

• (John Turturro) "The guy's a cheat he always has been, right now his over at Chesterfield ruining your reputation with every lousy second he deals."
• (Matt Damon) "I told him, did anybody else see you?"
• (Matt Damon) "No, nobody saw it I heard it, the snapping sound gave it away, had I known might not have noticed him turn around then I see him with the Mechanic's grip I know."
• (Matt Damon) "Did you get into the office?"
• (John Turturro) "I tried to warn him but he looked right through me"
• (Matt Damon) "Alright I'll go get him"
• (John Turturro) "No, his ok now most of the players are at the tail end of a thirty six hour session they can't see straight, if his still there when Roman and Maurice start their game his going to wish he was still inside"
• (Matt Damon) "I'm going to go get him"

• (John Turturro) "I'm listening. What do you need? 500? A grand?"
• (Matt Damon) "Huh? I need -- I need 15,000."
• (John Turturro) "Fifteen?"
• (Matt Damon) "Yep."
• (John Turturro) "I need a blow job from Christy Turlington. Get the f*** outta here. $15,000?"

John Malkovich as Teddy KGB

• (John Malkovich) "Want a cookie?"

• (John Malkovich) "No More. No. Not tonight. This son of bitch, all night he, "Check. Check. Check." He trap me."

• (John Malkovich) "If you don't have my money then you are mine."

• (John Malkovich) "That's a position raise, I call."

• (John Malkovich) "In my club, I will splash the pot whenever the f*** I please."

• (John Malkovich) "Aces full, Mike."

• (John Malkovich) "It hurts doesn't it? Your hopes dashed, your dreams down the toilet. And your fate is sitting right besides you."

• (John Malkovich) "Mr. Son of a bitch, let's play some cards."

• (John Malkovich) "He beat me -- Straight up -- Pay him -- Pay that man his money."

• (John Malkovich) "That ace could not have helped you."
• (John Malkovich) "I bet it all."
• (Matt Damon) "You're right Teddy, the ace didn't help."
• (Matt Damon) "I flopped the nut straight."

Famke Janssen as Petra

• (Famke Janssen) "So how'd you do?"
• (Edward Norton) "So, so, six thousand, two thousand and here's two more"
• (Famke Janssen) "Alright so its ten grand total, take back the two we lent you, give you the "white meat.""
• (Edward Norton) "you know what? Why don't you give me all of it?"
• (Famke Janssen) "Usually credit players leave with their profit otherwise the juice starts five points a week on Mike"
• (Edward Norton) "Ok we'll owe you"

• (Famke Janssen) "Tomorrow's a week"
• (Matt Damon) "A week of what?"
• (Famke Janssen) "The first two thousand you owe the Chesterfield"
• (Matt Damon) "Oh, worm"
• (Famke Janssen) "Yeah it's kind of weird he just won eight grand why go out on the line on another two?"
• (Matt Damon) "So he took off eight from Roman and Maurice?"
• (Famke Janssen) "Yeah he comes in after you leave, about twenty minutes later he cashes out for the full amount Maurice hasn't been back since, his been playing across the street, but Worm's been around playing, his run you up just under seven grand"
• (Matt Damon) "Do me a favor and put him on his own?"
• (Famke Janssen) "Yeah?"
• (Matt Damon) "Yeah cut him off"

Michael Rispoli as Grama

• (Michael Rispoli) "I heard you were out"
• (Edward Norton) "Hey, how you doing? I was just thinking about you, I could use you see me in two weeks I'll put you back on the payroll"
• (Michael Rispoli) "I got bad news for you Worm I'm out on my own now"
• (Edward Norton) "Really? Go figure"
• (Michael Rispoli) "A lot of people were angry when you went away"
• (Edward Norton) "I know that's why I'm trying to put together a roll here"
• (Michael Rispoli) "A lot of people asking if I could help if I knew where to find you so it got me thinking"
• (Edward Norton) "Really? You're thinking now? That's big"
• (Michael Rispoli) "Here's what I'm thinking: instead of you owing fifteen grand spread out to five guys, you owe twenty five to me"
• (Edward Norton) "What? Where the f*** do you get off?"
• (Michael Rispoli) "where do I get off?Here's how it is, twenty five to me and the juice is still running"
• (Edward Norton) "Jesus Christ, what the f*** are you doing? You were my partner"
• (Michael Rispoli) "No I was your lackey, but I learned a few things Worm I consolidated your outstanding debt"
• (Edward Norton) "Where did you come up with the scratch for that?"
• (Michael Rispoli) "What I did was go partners with an old friend of yours Teddy KGB backed me"
• (Edward Norton) "Bulls***"
• (Edward Norton) "Teddy has plenty of goons why would he put you under his play?"
• (Michael Rispoli) "Because as soon as he heard your name he became excited about the prospect"
• (Edward Norton) "So you bought me up Grama?"
• (Michael Rispoli) "Yeah, a real sweet deal too thirty cents on the dollar, not a lot of faith out there in the business community"
• (Edward Norton) "Great so you're a banker now? That's real classy"
• (Michael Rispoli) "Not exactly I don't have to tell you my collection methods"

• (Michael Rispoli) "You owe twenty five I'll take the rest in five days"
• (Matt Damon) "Five grand a week and you keep the juice going we want what you want we want to square this thing but three days is impossible no one's saying "your not the man", just think of it as a business decision, he just got out let's put him on a plan"
• (Michael Rispoli) "This is not the money store we're not negotiating I tell you how it works"
• (Matt Damon) "Then I'm asking"
• (Michael Rispoli) "you looking for some charity?"
• (Edward Norton) ", you know what?I need your f***ing charity like I need your cock in my ass."
• (Matt Damon) "Will you shut the f*** up?"
• (Michael Rispoli) "It's too late for him to shut the f*** up"
• (Matt Damon) "His good for it"
• (Michael Rispoli) "If you think his good for it then it's on you too"
• (Matt Damon) "Then it's on me too"
• (Michael Rispoli) "Fifteen large five days or I start breaking things."

• (Michael Rispoli) "Where's your friend?"
• (Matt Damon) "His gone"
• (Michael Rispoli) "So you brought my money?"
• (Matt Damon) "I'm a little short"
• (Michael Rispoli) "How short?"
• (Matt Damon) "The whole way"
• (Michael Rispoli) "There must be some kind of story"
• (Matt Damon) "As you can see I can't pay you"
• (Michael Rispoli) "I can see you're banged up pretty good, you never should've vouched for that scumbag"
• (Matt Damon) "Maybe not"
• (Michael Rispoli) "You're leaving me no outs here"
• (Matt Damon) "Why?"
• (Michael Rispoli) "I can't trust that you're not playing me"
• (Matt Damon) "I'm not the one working with a partner"
• (Michael Rispoli) "You want to take it up with KGB you go right ahead otherwise you got one day"

Gretchen Mol as Jo

• (Gretchen Mol) "Do you know why I left this morning? I found that gangsters roll in your pocket"
• (Matt Damon) "It's not what you think"
• (Gretchen Mol) "Who do you think I am? You lie right to my face, in old days you never lied, you've lost everything but at least you never lied"
• (Matt Damon) "Last night I sat down at this card table and it was the first time I felt alive since I got busted at KGB's joint"

• (Gretchen Mol) "What kind of a job is that going to be, Mike um, writing an opinion on high stakes poker?"
• (Matt Damon) "Hon, you're the one that told me I should use my poker skills in the court room."

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