Robin Hood: Men in Tights Quotes

Robin Hood: Men in Tights is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Robin Hood: Men in Tights ended in 1970.

It features Mel Brooks as producer, Hummie Mann in charge of musical score, and Michael D. O'Shea as head of cinematography.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Robin Hood: Men in Tights is 104 minutes long. Robin Hood: Men in Tights is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Cary Elwes as Robin Hood, Mark Blankfield as Blinkin, Dave Chappelle as Ahchoo, Tracey Ullman as Latrine, Amy Yasbeck as Maid Marian, Marc Ian Sklar as Merry Men, Dick Van Patten as Abbot, Eric Allan Kramer as Little John, Matthew Porretta as Scarlet, Dom DeLuise as Don Giovanni, Steve Tancora as Filthy Luca, Joe Baker as Angry Villager, Clive Revill as Fire Marshal, Zitto Kazann as Head Saracen Guard, Megan Cavanagh as Broomhilde, Zitto Kazann as Guard, Steffon as Sherwood Forest Rapper-Dancer, Joe Baker as Angry Villagers, Isaac Hayes as Asneeze, Zitto Kazann as Herald, and Chuck McCann as Villager.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights Quotes

Zitto Kazann as Herald

• (Prince John) "Send word to one and all, and all and one -- that's a little redundant, isn't it?"
• (Zitto Kazann) "WHAT?"
• (Prince John) "Shut up."

• (Zitto Kazann) "Robin of Loxley, where is your king?"
• (Cary Elwes) "King? King? And which King might that be? King Richard? King Louis? King Kong? Larry King?"

• (Zitto Kazann) "I just told my boss the good news and --"
• (Zitto Kazann) "and -- and I'm in deep s***."

Cary Elwes as Robin Hood

• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Robin, do you?"
• (Cary Elwes) "I do."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Marian, do you?"
• (Amy Yasbeck) "I do."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "I now pronounce you man and --"
• (King Richard) "I object."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Who asked?"

• (Cary Elwes) "Ahchoo?"
• (Unnamed) "Bless you."
• (Dave Chappelle) "Man, I hope someone is getting a video of this."

• (Cary Elwes) "Rabbi."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Who calls?"
• (Cary Elwes) "It is I, Robin of Loxley. We wish to get married in a hurry."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Married in a hurry? That's great. Hold on, I'm on my last customer. I'll be right out."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Put a little ice on it. You'll be fine."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Married in a hurry, married in a hurry. Please invite me to the briss."

• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "I challenge you to a duel."
• (Cary Elwes) "I accept."

• (Cary Elwes) "By the by, do you know praying mantis?"
• (Dave Chappelle) "You're looking at him."

• (Cary Elwes) "Blinkin, I'd like you to meet Ahchoo."
• (Mark Blankfield) "A Jew? Here?"
• (Cary Elwes) "No no, not a Jew. Ahchoo."

• (Cary Elwes) "Rabbi, you seem to be on the side of good. Will you come and share with us some of your wisdom, some of your council, and perhaps -- some of your wine?"
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Wisdom and council, that's easy. But this is sacrimental wine. It's only used to bless things."
• (Marc Ian Sklar) "Awwwww --"
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Wait a minute. There's things here. There's rocks, there's trees, there's birds, there's squirrels. Come on, we'll bless them all until we get vashnigyered"
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Join me."
• (Cary Elwes) "Let's hear it for the Rabbi."

• (Cary Elwes) "Blinkin. What are you doing?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "Guessing. I guess no one's coming."

• (The Hangman) "Let's see, are you about a 16, 16 1/2?"
• (The Hangman) "There."
• (Cary Elwes) "It's a little tight."
• (The Hangman) "That's the idea. Would you care for a blind fold?"
• (The Hangman) "How about half a one? Get it, sir?"

• (Cary Elwes) "Prepare for the fight scene."

• (Cary Elwes) "BLINKIN."
• (Mark Blankfield) "Master Robin, Is that you?"
• (Cary Elwes) "Yes."
• (Mark Blankfield) "What back from the Crusades?"
• (Cary Elwes) "Yes."
• (Mark Blankfield) "And alive?"
• (Cary Elwes) "yes."

• (Cary Elwes) "Oh my darling, at last."
• (Amy Yasbeck) "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
• (Megan Cavanagh) "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
• (Megan Cavanagh) "You are not married yet. Before you do it, you must go through it. Or else I blew it."

• (Cary Elwes) "This is Ahchoo."
• (Eric Allan Kramer) "Bless you."
• (Dave Chappelle) "No, that's my name, man. Ahchoo."

• (Cary Elwes) "Oh, my darling, I'm ready for that kiss now."
• (Amy Yasbeck) "But first, I must warn you. It could only be a kiss. For I am a virgin and could never -- go all the way."
• (Cary Elwes) "But --"
• (Amy Yasbeck) "Unless I were married. Or if a man pledged his endless love to me."
• (Cary Elwes) "Yes --"
• (Amy Yasbeck) "Or if I knew that he desperately cared for me. Or if he were really cute."

• (Cary Elwes) "Nice shooting, Ahchoo."
• (Dave Chappelle) "To tell you the truth, I was aiming for the Hangman."

• (Cary Elwes) "As my first order of business, I would like to appoint a new Sheriff -- my friend Ahchoo."
• (Unnamed) "A black sheriff?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "He's black?"
• (Dave Chappelle) "And why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles."

• (Cary Elwes) "It is the key to the greatest treasure in all the land."
• (Amy Yasbeck) "This means you've always been my one true love because it's just the right size."
• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "It's not the size that counts -- It's how you use it."

• (Cary Elwes) "Blinkin, listen to me. They've taken the castle."
• (Mark Blankfield) "I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive."
• (Cary Elwes) "He's dead?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "Yes --"
• (Cary Elwes) "And my mother?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "She died of pneumonia while --"
• (Mark Blankfield) "Oh, you were away."
• (Cary Elwes) "My brothers?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "There were all killed by the plague."
• (Cary Elwes) "My dog, Pongo?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "Run over by a carriage."
• (Cary Elwes) "My goldfish, Goldie?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "Eaten by the cat."
• (Cary Elwes) "My cat?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "Choked on the goldfish."
• (Mark Blankfield) "Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it, Master Robin?"

• (Prince John) "And why should the people listen to you?"
• (Cary Elwes) "Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent."

• (Cary Elwes) "Kindly let me pass."
• (Eric Allan Kramer) "Uh, no. Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls."
• (Eric Allan Kramer) "I made that up."
• (Cary Elwes) "It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you."

• (Cary Elwes) "I lost. I lost? Wait a second, I'm not supposed to lose. Let me see the script."

• (Cary Elwes) "Watch my back."
• (Dave Chappelle) "Your back just got punched twice."
• (Cary Elwes) "Thank You."

• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "That's a wild boar."
• (Cary Elwes) "No, no. That's a wild pig."
• (Cary Elwes) "That's a wild bore."

• (Cary Elwes) "Good people, who have travelled from villages near and far. Lend me your ears."
• (Cary Elwes) "That's disgusting."

• (Cary Elwes) "Are you with me? Yea or Nay?"
• (Chuck McCann) "Well which one means yes?"
• (Cary Elwes) "Yea."

• (Cary Elwes) "Too-ta-loo. Au revior. Auf weidesen. Ciao. Ding dow dai."

• (Cary Elwes) "You are entering the territory of Robin Hood and his Merry Men."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Faygeles?"
• (Cary Elwes) "No, no. We're straight. Just -- merry."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "As I. And who are you, with the exceptionally long feather in your hat?"
• (Cary Elwes) "I am Robin of Loxley."
• (Rabbi Tuckman) "Robin of Loxley? I've just come from Maid Marian, the woman whose heart you've stolen, you prince of thieves, you. I knew her parents before they were taken in the plague, Lord and Lady Bahgel. You know, you two were made for each other. I mean, what a combination. Loxley and Bahgel. It can't miss."

Dave Chappelle as Ahchoo

• (Dave Chappelle) "Blinkin; what's the fastest way to reach the villagers?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "Why don't we fox them?"
• (Dave Chappelle) "Fox them."

• (Dave Chappelle) "Time out. Sorry bad guys, but I am running out of air. Gotta get pumped."
• (Dave Chappelle) "OK honkies. Time in."

• (Dave Chappelle) "I should have never worn these shoes. They just don't match my purse."

• (Dave Chappelle) "Hey Blinkin."
• (Mark Blankfield) "Did you say 'Abe Lincoln'?"
• (Dave Chappelle) "No, I didn't say 'Abe Lincoln', I said 'Hey Blinkin.' Hold the reins, man."

• (Dave Chappelle) "Blinkin. How did you do that?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "I heard that coming a mile away."
• (Cary Elwes) "Right-o, Blinkin, very good."
• (Mark Blankfield) "Pardon? Who's talking?"

• (Dave Chappelle) "What part of Georgia you from? South Central?"

• (Dave Chappelle) "Man, white men can't jump."

• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "I was angry at you before Loxley, but now I'm really pissed off."
• (Dave Chappelle) "Pissed off? If I was that close to a horse's wiener I'd be worrying about being pissed on."

• (Dave Chappelle) "Hey man, tough room -- why don't you let me give it a try."
• (Dave Chappelle) "People of Sherwood look at yourselves. Go ahead, take a look around. Oh people of Sherwood you been had. Hoodwinked. Bamboozled. Run amuck. We didn't land on Sherwood forest, Sherwood forest landed on us."

• (Dave Chappelle) "Hey, put her there?"
• (Mark Blankfield) "How do you do do?"
• (Dave Chappelle) "I've been better."

Steve Tancora as Filthy Luca

• (Steve Tancora) "I will take these cotton balls from you with my hand and put them in my pocket."

Joe Baker as Angry Villagers

• (Joe Baker) "There must be another way of doing the credits."
• (Clive Revill) "That's right. Every time they make a Robin Hood movie, they burn our village down."

Eric Allan Kramer as Little John

• (Eric Allan Kramer) "A toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll. And if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. I made that up."

• (Eric Allan Kramer) "Let's face it. You've gotta be a man to wear tights."

Steffon as Sherwood Forest Rapper-Dancer

• (Steffon) "Yo, yo, yo."
• (Unnamed) "Check it out."
• (Steffon) "Prince John and the Sherrif, they was runnin' the show/raisin' the taxes 'cause they needed the dough/a reign of terror took over the land/ they were shakin' down the people just to beat the band I said hey."
• (Unnamed) "Hey."
• (Steffon) "I said hey."
• (Unnamed) "Hey."
• (Steffon) "I said --"
• (Unnamed) "Hey nonny-nonny and a ho ho ho."
• (Steffon) "The people weren't happy, morale was low/ they had no place to turn to, there was nowhere to go/ they needed a hero, but no one could be found/ 'cause Robin Hood was out of town I said hey."
• (Unnamed) "Hey."
• (Steffon) "I said hey."
• (Unnamed) "Hey."
• (Steffon) "I said --"
• (Unnamed) "Hey nonny-nonny and a ho ho ho."
• (Steffon) "He was put into the slammer by his Arab foe/ and in a little while he would be no mo' I said hey."
• (Unnamed) "Hey."
• (Steffon) "I said hey."
• (Unnamed) "Hey."
• (Steffon) "I said --"
• (Unnamed) "Hey nonny-nonny. Hey nonny-nonny. Hey nonny-nonny and a whoa, whoa, who. Check it out."

• (Steffon) "So that's our story and it worked out good/King Richard's on his throne and Robin's back in the hood/ so let's bid our friends a fine ado/and we'll hope to meet again in Robin Hood 2/ I said hey."
• (Unnamed) "Hey."
• (Steffon) "I said hey."
• (Unnamed) "Hey."
• (Steffon) "I said"
• (Unnamed) "Hey nonny-nonny. Hey nonny-nonny. Hey nonny-nonny and a-here we go."

Marc Ian Sklar as Merry Men

• (Marc Ian Sklar) "We're men / We're men in tights / We roam around the forest looking for fights / We're men / We're men in tights / We rob from the rich and give to the poor / That's right. / We may look like sissies / But watch what you say / Or else we'll put out your lights / We're men / We're men in tights / Always on guard / Defending the people's rights / We're men / Manly men. / We're men in tights / Yes. / We roam around the forest looking for fights / We're men / We're men in tights / We rob from the rich and give to the poor / That's right. / We may look like pansies / But don't get us wrong / Or else we'll put out your lights / We're men / We're men in tights / Tight tights / Always on guard / Defending the people's rights / When you're in a fix / Just call for the men in tights / We're butch."

Amy Yasbeck as Maid Marian

• (Amy Yasbeck) "Oh Broomhilde, look. A happy little bluebird. Hello."
• (Amy Yasbeck) "This means I must make a wish. I wish against wish, I hope against hope, that the heavens bring me a kind and wonderful gentleman who possesses the key to my --"
• (Amy Yasbeck) "heart."
• (Amy Yasbeck) "Goodbye, my little friend."
• (Megan Cavanagh) "Ooh, that happy little bluebird has left a happy little do-do on your hand."

• (Amy Yasbeck) "I've come to warn you, Prince John and Rottingham have hired men to kill you at the fair tomorrow. You musn't go."
• (Cary Elwes) "Well, that's easy. I won't."
• (Amy Yasbeck) "Oh, I'm so happy. They were going to try to lure you there by having an archery contest."
• (Cary Elwes) "An archery contest?"
• (Amy Yasbeck) "Their archer is unbeatable."
• (Cary Elwes) "Really?"
• (Amy Yasbeck) "Robin, promise you won't go."
• (Cary Elwes) "All right, I promise you won't go."
• (Amy Yasbeck) "Thank you."
• (Dave Chappelle) "But wait a minute, Robin, didn't you just --"
• (Cary Elwes) "Cool it --"
• (Dave Chappelle) "Chilled."

Dom DeLuise as Don Giovanni

• (Dom DeLuise) "Ok, you want plain English: Robin is gonna be dead. D-E-D. Dead."

• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "Don Giovanni, if I may say so, your lizard looks limp."
• (Dom DeLuise) "Yeah, well, when you get to be my age -- Oh. My lizard. Oh yeah."

• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "This was to be a "private" meeting -- I mean, who are these men?"
• (Dom DeLuise) "These? These are my most trusted associates. On my right, Dirty Ezio. On my left, Filthy Luca."
• (Steve Tancora) "We thank you, for inviting us on the day of your daughter's wedding."
• (Dom DeLuise) "No, no, no."
• (Steve Tancora) "I hope that her first child, is a masculine child."
• (Dom DeLuise) "Shut up. We haven't even had our meeting yet."
• (Steve Tancora) "-- Oh yeah."

Matthew Porretta as Scarlet

• (Matthew Porretta) "Blinkin. Fix your boobs; you look like a bleedin' Picasso."

Mark Blankfield as Blinkin

• (Mark Blankfield) "I can see."
• (Mark Blankfield) "Nope, I was wrong."

• (Mark Blankfield) "Oh good, they've opened the salad bar."

• (Mark Blankfield) "Oh Master Robin."
• (Mark Blankfield) "You lost your arms in battle. But you grew some nice boobs."
• (Cary Elwes) "Blinkin, I'm over here."

Dick Van Patten as Abbot

• (Man in church) "He-e-y Abbot."
• (Dick Van Patten) "I hate that guy."

Tracey Ullman as Latrine

• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "This is a stealth catapult, we've been working on it secretly for months. It can hurl one of these heavy boulders undetected, over a hundred yards, completely destroying anything in its path."
• (Prince John) "Wow. How's it work?"
• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "It's rather simple. You get one of these heavy boulders, put it here where I'm sitting, and then pull on that lever."
• (Prince John) "Like this?"
• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH."
• (Tracey Ullman) "Oh dear Lord, if you see fit to send me my one true love --"
• (Tracey Ullman) "Thank you."
• (Tracey Ullman) "Oh my god. Oh my god."
• (Sheriff of Rottingham) "No. No. I have a headache."
• (Tracey Ullman) "OH BUGGER."
• (Tracey Ullman) "I was that close. I touched it."

• (Prince John) "Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it?"
• (Tracey Ullman) "We changed it in the 9th century."
• (Prince John) "You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"?"
• (Tracey Ullman) "Yeah. Used to be "s***house.""
• (Prince John) "It's a good change. That's a good change."

• (Prince John) "What can you tell me about Robin of Loxley?"
• (Tracey Ullman) "Robin of Loxley? Robin of Loxley? Hmm, let me see."
• (Tracey Ullman) "Raven's egg. Blood of a hen. A little more blood, yes. Eyeballs of a crocodile. Testicles of a newt. I bet he's a transsexual now. Robin of Loxley is handsome and brave. He seeks to regain his family's honor. Little sod could be trouble."
• (Prince John) "Are you certain?"
• (Tracey Ullman) "Certain? You want certain, hire yourself a witch. Me, I'm just your cook."
• (Tracey Ullman) "Here, eat that."

Isaac Hayes as Asneeze

• (Isaac Hayes) "I am Asneeze, father of Ahchoo."
• (Cary Elwes) "Bless you."
• (Isaac Hayes) "No no no, Ahchoo is my son."

Megan Cavanagh as Broomhilde

• (Megan Cavanagh) "No ding-ding vithout a vedding ring."

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