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Reefer Madness (2005 film) Quotes

Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Reefer Madness ended its run in 1970.

It features Andy Fickman, Kevin Murphy, and Dan Studney as producer, Dan Studney, David Manning, and Nathan Wang in charge of musical score, and Jan Kiesser as head of cinematography.

Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical is recorded in English and originally aired in United States, Canada, and Germany. Each episode of Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical is 108 minutes long. Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical is produced by Dead Old Man Productions and distributed by Showtime (TV network).

The cast includes: Christian Campbell as Jimmy, Steven Weber as Jack Stone, Kristen Bell as Mary Lane, John Kassir as Ralph Wiley, Michael A. Goorjian as FDR, Alan Cumming as Lecturer, John Mann as Satan, Christian Campbell as Jimmy Harper, Ana Gasteyer as Mae Coleman, Robert Torti as Jesus, Chang Tseng as Asian Guy, Steven Weber as Jack, Ana Gasteyer as Sally DeBains, Jack Stone, Ralph Wiley, Mae Coleman, Ana Gasteyer as Sally DeBains, Jack Stone, Ralph Wiley, Jimmy Harper, Mae Coleman, Britt Irvin, Alexz Johnson as The Arc-ettes, and John Kassir as Sally DeBains, Jack Stone, Mae Coleman, Ralph Wiley.

Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical Quotes

Kristen Bell as Mary Lane

  • (Kristen Bell) "Jimmy, is something wrong?"
  • (Christian Campbell) "Why? Should something be wrong? Stop hounding me. Stop -- hounding -- me."
  • (Kristen Bell) "I didn't think I was, I -- Oh, it's me, isn't it? You don't love me anymore. You haven't even tried to kiss in almost a week."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Kiss? Is that what you want? Let me show you a few new moves."
  • (Kristen Bell) "That was your tongue. Jimmy Harper, what's come over you?"
  • (Kristen Bell) "We are just like Romeo and Juliet. We're happy, young and --"
  • (Kristen Bell) "-- hemorrhaging blood."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Say, is this a fraternity sweater? Is Jimmy hanging out with college boys?"
  • (John Kassir) "Why, yes, yes, he is. We at Phi Beta Cannabis were so taken with Jimmy, we decided to pledge him -- early -- while he's still in high school -- to avoid the rush."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Well, that's the bee's knees. Wait 'til that Suzy Mayberry hears about this."
  • (John Kassir) "Let's celebrate -- with a smoke."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Hold on. This isn't that reefer I've read about, is it?"
  • (John Kassir) "Oh, no, of course not. This is a special cigarette. All the rage with the college girls -- in Paris."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Paris?"
  • (John Kassir) "Oh, yes."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Well, if I'm going to be dating a fraternity man --"
  • (Kristen Bell) "Is your finger swollen? Are you putting on weight?"
  • (Christian Campbell) "Maybe. Lately, I seem to be hungry all the time."
  • (Kristen Bell) "A moment on the lips, forever on the hips."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Remember me, Ralph? I've been sent to hell. A pubescent edition of Jezebel. It hurts a lot to bend. But, at least, I've made a friend."
  • (John Kassir) "Shut up."
  • (John Mann) "You murdered her, Ralph."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Murdered me."
  • (John Kassir) "Murdered you."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Murdered me."
  • (John Kassir) "Murdered them."
  • (Steven Weber) "What's eating him?"
  • (John Kassir) "Jack. I saw Satan. And the kid. And Satan. And the girl. And Satan."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Jimmy, what are you doing here in the middle of the night? It's almost nine p.m.."
  • (Unnamed) "Goodbye Mary Sunshine. Reefer has blown out her mind. She's now a hot-head hussy."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Don't you run. I'm not done. Can't you tell we've just begun? What's your rush? You're not having fun?"
  • (John Kassir) "No, I'm really not."
  • (Unnamed) "Mary, Mary Sunshine. Burned for, yearned for dirty life."
  • (John Kassir) "Mmmph?"
  • (Kristen Bell) "Shut up, bitch."
  • (Kristen Bell) "I feel a little naughty."
  • (John Kassir) "Baby I'll help you relax."
  • (Kristen Bell) "I'll tie you up with phone cord. We'll play with whips and nipple clips and candle wax."
  • (John Kassir) "Now hold on, Mary Sunshine. Let's not get carried away."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Just call me Mary Juana and Mary's got some scary little games to play. I'll lather you up --"
  • (John Kassir) "Who, me?"
  • (Kristen Bell) "And give you a shave --"
  • (John Kassir) "Shave ?"
  • (Kristen Bell) "I'll paddle you while straddling my little slave."
  • (John Kassir) "Hey, now."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Down on your knees. It's pointless to fight. Save your strength, it's gonna be a lengthy night."
  • (John Kassir) "Help. This crazy tomato's raping me."

Chang Tseng as Asian Guy

Michael A. Goorjian as FDR

  • (Michael A. Goorjian) "A little orphan girl once told me that the sun would come out tomorrow. Her adopted father was a powerful billionaire so I suppressed the urge to laugh in her face, but now, by gum, I think she may have been on to something."
  • (Michael A. Goorjian) "Hold on, boys. I, for one, would like to hear what the blood-spattered young lady has to say."

Steven Weber as Jack Stone

  • (Steven Weber) "Quit squawkin'. You got more static than the radio."
  • (Steven Weber) "Dumb slut, that was half a jay of good moody you just wasted."
  • (Steven Weber) "You like Brownies? Baked 'em myself."
  • (Steven Weber) "See ya in the funny papers."

Robert Torti as Jesus

  • (Unnamed) "Listen to Jesus, Jimmy."
  • (Robert Torti) "Don't let reefer kick you keister."
  • (Unnamed) "Listen to Jesus, Jimmy."
  • (Robert Torti) "I'm the Poster Boy for Easter."
  • (Robert Torti) "Jimmy, take a hit of God instead. You think you can handle the high?"
  • (Christian Campbell) "I've got a new god now."
  • (Robert Torti) "I've cured a lot of lepers, and I've risen from the dead. How ya doin'? / Is that what it's gonna take to get it through your head? You can touch. / If you keep using reefer to enjoy those teenage kicks / Soon you'll be floating naked in the river Styx / What a fix / Sulfur pools / Torture tools / Separation from your family jewels."
  • (Britt Irvin, Alexz Johnson) "Ramma-lamma-they're-gonna-cut-your-ding-dong."

Alan Cumming as Lecturer

  • (Parents) "It's time for parents to take a stand / For the preservation of this great land / 'Till the things that scare us are burned or banned, / Or smashed to smithereens. / And once the reefer has been destroyed, / We'll start on Darwin and Sigmund Freud, / And sex depicted on celluloid, / And communists and queens."
  • (Alan Cumming) "When danger's near, exploit their fear."
  • (Parents) "The end will justify the means."
  • (Unnamed) "You can't believe everything you read and that don't make me a commie."
  • (Alan Cumming) "Mr. Kochinski, Mr. Hearst is a fine American businessman and a graduate of Harvard University. Where did you matriculate?"
  • (Unnamed) "Huh?"
  • (Alan Cumming) "Ma.tric.u.late. It means where did you go to college?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well -- I -- I didn't."
  • (Alan Cumming) "Creeping like a communist, it's knocking at our doors, turning all our children into hooligans and whores."

Christian Campbell as Jimmy

  • (Christian Campbell) "You fill my life with all the colors/Of the Sunday funnies/Innocent splendor/Kisses so tender/Softer than a pillow stuffed with bunnies."
  • (Kristen Bell) "Bunnies? I don't know what you're talking about, but I like the sound of it."
  • (Christian Campbell) "There's only room for one Mary in my life -- Mary Lane. With an L. For love. I love Mary Lane."
  • (Christian Campbell) "I need words to tell you of my pounding heart/$4 words that make a guy sound smart./Well I guess that's why they invented shakespeare/His articulations of a lover's palpatations are so keen."
  • (Christian Campbell) "There's blood on my hands, and mud on my name. My id threw a party and everyone came. My innocence ravished, my virtue devoured, I can't count the strangers with whom I have showered."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Someone save me/There's no place to hide/From this salacious/Magic carpet ride."
  • (John Kassir) "Open up your mind./Let your body soar./Arms and legs entwined/Cry: More. More More."
  • (Unnamed) "If a year goes by, it might seem a day"
  • (Unnamed) "If a day goes by, it could take a year"
  • (Christian Campbell) "I can't wait to read the ending."
  • (Kristen Bell) "I can't either. But I bet it turns out real swell. I bet Romeo marries his Juliet --"
  • (Christian Campbell) "They have a baby"
  • (Kristen Bell) "And make lots of friends."
  • (Unnamed) "That's prob'ly the way the play ends."
  • (Unnamed) "Join the wonder dance. Lose the underpants."
  • (Christian Campbell) "No."
  • (Christian Campbell) "This brownie is yummy. / It's the greatest brownie known to man. / It's chewy, it's nutty, this brownie's really good. / Don't offer me a macaroon. / My brownie suits me fine. / There's frosting on the top, and best of all it's mine."
  • (Ana Gasteyer) "Eat the brownie. Eat the brownie. Eat the brownie. Eat the brownie."
  • (Steven Weber) "Let's go home."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Okay. / I shimmer electric. / I'm a one-man marching brownie band. / I love it. My brownie. / And my brownie loves me, too. / It's smooth, it's sweet, it's chocolaty. / It forms a perfect square. / And the bestest part of all, is I don't have to share."
  • (Ana Gasteyer) "He doesn't have to share."
  • (Christian Campbell) "And the bestest part of all is I don't have to share."
  • (John Kassir) "Eat the brownie."
  • (Unnamed) "Eat the brownie."
  • (Steven Weber) "Eat the brownie."
  • (Ana Gasteyer) "Eat the brownie."
  • (Ana Gasteyer) "Yeah."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Ah, Jesus. I got a great high cooking here, don't bring me down."
  • (Robert Torti) "On the contrary, Jimmy. I'm here to bring you UP; with dope. No, not your brand of dope, but the straight dope. You think hanging with those reefer fiends are cool? I don't think you realize how cool God can be."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Remember me, Ralph? I'm about to fry."
  • (John Kassir) "Shut up."
  • (Christian Campbell) "While you and your friends stand idly by. My life is now a ticking bomb."
  • (John Kassir) "Shut up."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Gonna miss my senior prom."
  • (John Kassir) "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up."
  • (Christian Campbell) "You murdered me, Ralph."
  • (John Kassir) "Shut up."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Murdered me."
  • (John Kassir) "Murdered you."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Murdered me."
  • (John Kassir) "Murdered him."
  • (Unnamed) "Come on, Jimmy, Come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally/Come on, Jimmy, come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Umm -- no thanks -- I don't think I ought to"
  • (Unnamed) "Come on, Jimmy, Come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally/Come on, Jimmy, come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally."
  • (Christian Campbell) "Um -- I have to go now -- thanks for having me --"
  • (Steven Weber) "Take a toke of T-stick, Take a toke of T-stick/Take a toke of T-stick, take a toke of T-stick"
  • (Ana Gasteyer) "Smoke it, you make choke at first, but then the worst is over/Smoke it, you may choke at first, but then the worst is over."
  • (John Kassir) "Don't be a chicken./Don't be a chicken."
  • (Unnamed) "Don't, Jimmy. Don't do it. Don't be a fool./Don't, Jimmy. Don't do it. Don't be a fool."
  • (Unnamed) "NO."

Ana Gasteyer as Mae Coleman

  • (Ana Gasteyer) "I oughtta leave him, but something makes me stay. It's the stuff. I try to kill him, but my guy gives me love and the stuff. Sometimes he's rough. He throws me down the stairs, but deep inside he cares. He buys me lingerie -- and the stuff."
  • (Ana Gasteyer) "I was a student, good grades and so naive to the stuff. A handsome stranger, some empty promises, lots of stuff. But I don't get hooked. I'm not addicted, no. I just enjoy the glow. I like to have my fun. No harm to anyone. Though the fun sometimes escapes me when Jack gets stone and rapes me. Nothing numbs me better than the stuff."
  • (Ana Gasteyer) "Ralph? Sally? We're back. We got take-away from Dim Foo's. Sally? Ralph?"
  • (John Kassir) "I found me a snack, it was nice and fresh."
  • (Unnamed) "The weed made him hungry for human flesh."
  • (Steven Weber) "Step away you mug. / 'Cause that's a brand new Persian rug."
  • (Ana Gasteyer) "He's not gonna stop."
  • (Unnamed) "Murder him. Murder him. Murder him. Murder him."

John Kassir as Ralph Wiley

  • (John Kassir) "Jack, I got me the munchies REAL BAD."
  • (Zombies) "Open the gate and abandon hope. / We're the ghosts of the kids that got hooked on dope."
  • (John Kassir) "Way down where it's hot / They are saving us a spot."
  • (Zombies) "You murdered us, Ralph. / Murdered 'em. Murdered 'em. Murdered 'em. Murdered 'em."
  • (John Kassir) "Bad zombies. Shoo. Go away."
  • (Unnamed) "He's losin' it, Jack."
  • (Steven Weber) "Gee, you don't suppose?"
  • (Ana Gasteyer) "He's liable to crack and spill all he knows."
  • (Unnamed) "He's really acting weird."
  • (Steven Weber) "Perhaps it's time he disappeared / He'd never be missed / I could murder him. Murder him. Murder him. Murder him."

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