Reality Bites Quotes

Reality Bites is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Reality Bites ended its run in 1970.

It features Danny DeVito as producer, Karl Wallinger in charge of musical score, and Emmanuel Lubezki as head of cinematography.

Reality Bites is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Reality Bites is 99 minutes long. Reality Bites is distributed by Universal Studios.

The cast includes: Winona Ryder as Lelaina Pierce, Ethan Hawke as Troy Dyer, Winona Ryder as Lelaina, Ben Stiller as Michael Grates, Janeane Garofalo as Vickie, Swoosie Kurtz as Charlane McGregor, Swoosie Kurtz as Wes McGregor, Steve Zahn as Sammy, Janeane Garofalo as Vickie Miner, and Andy Dick as Rock.

Reality Bites Quotes

Janeane Garofalo as Vickie

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Welcome to the Maxi Pad."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Would the two of you just do it and get it over with? I'm starving."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Évian is "naïve" spelled backward."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "He's weird, he's strange, he's sloppy, he's a total nightmare for women -- I can't believe I haven't slept with him yet."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Sometimes I get that not-so-fresh feeling."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Laney, sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "You don't understand. Every day, all day, it's all that I think about, OK? Every time I sneeze, it's like I'm four sneezes away from the hospice, and it's like it's not even happening to me. It's like I'm watching it on some crappy show like "Melrose Place" or some s***, right? And I'm the new character, I'm the HIV-AIDS character, and I live in the building and I teach everybody that it's OK to be near me, it's OK to talk to me, and then I die. And there's everybody at my funeral wearing halter tops or chokers or some s*** like that."
• (Winona Ryder) "Vickie stop, OK? Just stop. You're freaking out. And you know what? You're gonna have to deal with the results. Whatever they are, we're gonna have to deal with them just like we've dealt with everything else."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "This isn't like everything else."
• (Winona Ryder) "I know that, all right? But it's gonna be OK, you know? I know it's gonna be OK. "Melrose Place" is a really good show."

Ethan Hawke as Troy Dyer

• (Ethan Hawke) "I am not under any orders to make the world a better place."

• (Ethan Hawke) "Hello, you've reached the winter of our discontent."

• (Ethan Hawke) "I'm bursting with fruit flavor."

• (Ethan Hawke) "I'm picking up some very strange vibes. They're of the I-just-got-laid variety."

• (Ethan Hawke) "I was told there'd be no math on this exam."

• (Ethan Hawke) "You can't navigate me. I may do mean things, and I may hurt you, and I may run away without your permission, and you may hate me forever, and I know that scares the living s*** outta you 'cause you know I'm the only real thing you got."

• (Ethan Hawke) "You look like a doily."

• (Ethan Hawke) "There's no point to any of this. It's all just a -- a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know -- a Quarter-Pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle -- and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt."

• (Ethan Hawke) "At the beep, please leave your name, number, and a brief justification for the ontological necessity of modern man's existential dilemma, and we'll get back to you"

• (Ethan Hawke) "This girl is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs."

• (Ethan Hawke) "Well f*** me for being nice."

• (Ethan Hawke) "Did he dazzle you with his extensive knowledge of mineral water, or was it his in-depth analysis of, uh, uh, Marky Mark that finally reeled you in?"

• (Ethan Hawke) "He's the reason Cliffs Notes were invented."

Winona Ryder as Lelaina

• (Winona Ryder) "I was really going to be somebody by the time I was 23."
• (Ethan Hawke) "Honey, all you have to be by the time you're 23 is yourself."
• (Winona Ryder) "I don't know who that is anymore."
• (Ethan Hawke) "I do. And we all love her. I love her. She breaks my heart again and again, but I love her."

• (Winona Ryder) "I'm not going to work at the Gap for Chrissake."

• (Winona Ryder) "I'd like to somehow make a difference in people's lives."
• (Ethan Hawke) "And I -- I would like to buy them all a Coke."
• (Winona Ryder) "And you wonder why we never got involved?"

• (Winona Ryder) "All right, fine. You wanna be in a band? Fine. Go ahead. Play every night. Play three times a night. Don't just dick around the same coffee house for five years. Don't dick around with her or with me. I mean, try at something for once in your life. Do something about it, but you know what? You better do it now, and you better do it fast, because the world doesn't owe you any favors."

• (Winona Ryder) "I have to work around here, and, unfortunately, Troy, you are a master at the art of time suckage."

• (Winona Ryder) "You've been waiting for this since the day we met."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Oh, who told you that, Your psychic partner?"

• (Winona Ryder) "He's so cheesy, I can't watch him without crackers."

• (Winona Ryder) "Oh, oh is this like a, is this like a pirate operation?"
• (Andy Dick) "Do I look like a pirate to you?"

• (Winona Ryder) "Are you religious?"
• (Ben Stiller) "Um, uh, I guess, uh, I guess I'm, uh, a non-practicing Jew."
• (Winona Ryder) "Hey, I'm a non-practicing virgin."

• (Winona Ryder) "I just don't understand why things just can't go back to normal at the end of the half hour like on the Brady Bunch or something."
• (Ethan Hawke) "Well, 'cause Mr. Brady died of AIDS. Things don't turn out like that."

• (Winona Ryder) "Can you define "irony"?"
• (Ethan Hawke) "It's when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning."

• (Winona Ryder) "Welcome to the world of the emtionally mature. Maybe you've seen Michael. He lives here."

Steve Zahn as Sammy

• (Steve Zahn) "I have something to tell you, I am -- a homo -- homosexual."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Oh, Christ."

Ben Stiller as Michael Grates

• (Ben Stiller) "Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you? Because excuse me if somebody doesn't know the secret handshake with you."
• (Ethan Hawke) "There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake."

• (Ben Stiller) "Can you hear me now?"

Swoosie Kurtz as Wes McGregor

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