Real Genius Quotes

Real Genius is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Real Genius ended its run in 1970.

It features Brian Grazer, and Robert Daley as producer, Thomas Newman in charge of musical score, and Vilmos Zsigmond as head of cinematography.

Real Genius is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Real Genius is 106 minutes long. Real Genius is distributed by TriStar Pictures.

The cast includes: Gabriel Jarret as Mitch, Val Kilmer as Chris Knight, Deborah Foreman as Susan, Ed Lauter as David Decker, Jon Gries as Lazlo Hollyfeld, Robert Prescott as Kent, Michelle Meyrink as Jordan, Mark Kamiyama as 'Ick' Ikagami, Louis Giambalvo as Major Carnagle, Severn Darden as Dr. Meredith, William Atherton as Roy, and Michelle Meyrink as Man.

Real Genius Quotes

Robert Prescott as Kent

• (Robert Prescott) "Uh, I'll catch up with you guys. I have to go to the bathroom."
• (Val Kilmer) "Okay, Kent, but I don't think that's going to help your confidence any, do you?"

• (Robert Prescott) "You're all a bunch of degenerates."
• (Val Kilmer) "We are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jell-O?"
• (Robert Prescott) "You did not."
• (Val Kilmer) "This is true."
• (Robert Prescott) "Look, it was hot and I was hungry, okay?"

Gabriel Jarret as Mitch

• (Gabriel Jarret) "You have to get even with Jerry Hathaway. "It's a moral imperative.""

• (Gabriel Jarret) "This is coherent light."
• (Mitch's dad) "Oh, so it talks."

• (Gabriel Jarret) "What are you doing?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, " -- I drank what?""

• (Gabriel Jarret) "And from now on, stop playing with yourself."
• (Robert Prescott) "It is God."

• (Professor Hathaway) "Mitch, will you miss your friends?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Well, no. I think I intimidate other kids."
• (Professor Hathaway) "Good boy."

• (Gabriel Jarret) "You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning --"
• (Val Kilmer) "Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "No --"
• (Val Kilmer) "Why am I the only one who has that dream?"

• (Gabriel Jarret) "What if these don't fool anybody?"
• (Val Kilmer) "They shoot us."

• (Gabriel Jarret) "Did you know there's a guy living in our closet?"
• (Val Kilmer) "You've seen him too?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Who is he?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Hollyfeld."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Why does he keep going into our closet?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Why do you keep going into our closet?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "To get my clothes; but that's not why he goes in there."
• (Val Kilmer) "Of course not, he's twice your size; your clothes would never fit him."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Yeah --"
• (Val Kilmer) "Think before you ask these questions, Mitch. Twenty points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?"

• (Gabriel Jarret) "Are you okay?"
• (Michelle Meyrink) "No, not emotionally, no I'm not. I'm disappointed, not terribly, but still. It should have gone much further much faster. It's okay, though, I know what the problem is. It's obviously the drag coefficient. I'll just have to redesign the blades. I can do that no problem. I can do that here. But after they're designed I got to cut them and that takes tools and time. Do you know how long this stuff is supposed to last?"
• (Mark Kamiyama) "Maybe another half an hour?"
• (Michelle Meyrink) "Oh that's great, that's good, I can do that no problem. Okay, what's your name?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Mitch."
• (Michelle Meyrink) "Oh, thank you for your help, Mitch. Okay I'll see you later."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "You're welcome."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Who was that?"
• (Mark Kamiyama) "That? Oh, that was --"
• (Michelle Meyrink) "I'm Jordan. I forgot to tell you my name, I'm Jordan. I heard there was going to be someone new this term. Are you it?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Yeah."
• (Michelle Meyrink) "Do you have a bed?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Yeah."
• (Michelle Meyrink) "Oh. I was going to make you one if you didn't have one, but you have one. Okay, bye."

Val Kilmer as Chris Knight

• (Val Kilmer) "You wanted to see me, Your Joggingness?"

• (Darlington Recruiter) "You are Chris Knight, aren't you?"
• (Val Kilmer) "I hope so. I'm wearing his underwear."

• (Professor Hathaway) "What's that smell?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Must be the dog, sir."
• (Professor Hathaway) "That's popcorn."
• (Val Kilmer) "Yes sir, I know --"
• (Professor Hathaway) "Well, get it away from me. I hate popcorn. I can't stand popcorn."
• (Val Kilmer) "Good. Now I know what to get you for your birthday."

• (Val Kilmer) "Hey how's it going, Jerry?"
• (Professor Hathaway) "What do you want, Knight?"
• (Val Kilmer) "World peace, but I don't think this is the time to discuss it."
• (Professor Hathaway) "Get out."
• (Val Kilmer) "There's something that might interest you, Jerry."
• (Professor Hathaway) "I'm not interested in anything you have to say."
• (Deborah Foreman) "Dr. Hathaway --"
• (Val Kilmer) "Susan."
• (Val Kilmer) "I solved the power problem, Jerry."
• (Deborah Foreman) "Jerry?"
• (Professor Hathaway) "Take a cab."
• (Val Kilmer) "So you'll hammer later."

• (Val Kilmer) "Look at it this way. Considering the type of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong possibility this may be the only chance you ever have in your entire lives -- to have sex."

• (Val Kilmer) "Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races, we only had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?"

• (Val Kilmer) "Oh, Kent, that is so unfair. And we were going to make you King of the Winter Carnival."
• (Robert Prescott) "Really?"

• (Val Kilmer) "Hey Kent -- That's your car."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus."
• (Robert Prescott) "You've gone too far this time, Knight."
• (Val Kilmer) "I had help."
• (Robert Prescott) "You, huh? Well you won't get away with this. Doctor Hathaway's gonna hear all about this. You'll rue the day."
• (Val Kilmer) ""Rue the day?" Who talks like that?"

• (Air Force SP at Gate) "IDs?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Hey, could you snap it up buddy, we just flew in, we're tired, we're hungry, we rented this stupid car --"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Are you out of your mind?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Shh. We've got to intimidate these guys. Be cool. It's okay."
• (Air Force SP at Gate) "You're not on the list."
• (Val Kilmer) "List. We're not on the list. Yeah, that's because we're classified."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Yeah."
• (Air Force SP at Gate) "Security. Yes, sir."
• (Air Force SP at Gate) "Aren't you guys a little young to be technicians?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Yeah, well, lasers are a young science -- okay, there, fine, you made me say it. Now we're both in trouble."
• (Air Force SP at Gate) "Look, I'll call the duty officer."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Uh."
• (Val Kilmer) "Hey, uh, there, uh, airborne."
• (Val Kilmer) "Don't do that. Listen, if you make that call it's our job: we're four hours late. Give us a break, will ya' buddy? Someday you might be in the private sector too, right?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Yeah."
• (Val Kilmer) "We're dead."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Oh, no."
• (Val Kilmer) "All right."

• (Professor Hathaway) "I want to see more of you around the lab."
• (Val Kilmer) "Fine. I'll gain weight."

• (Val Kilmer) "This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated."

• (Professor Hathaway) "When you first started at Pacific Tech you were well on your way to becoming another Einstein and then you know what happened?"
• (Val Kilmer) "I got a haircut?"

• (Dr. Dodd) "Why is that toy on your head?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Because if I wear it any place else, it chafes."

• (Val Kilmer) "Would you prepared if gravity reversed itself? The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets. I've got it. Nudity."

• (Val Kilmer) "You see Mitch, I used to be you. And lately I've been missing me so I asked Dr. Hathaway if I could room with me again and he said sure."

• (Val Kilmer) "Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?"
• (Ed Lauter) "She happens to be my daughter."
• (Val Kilmer) "Oh. Then I guess you have."

• (Val Kilmer) "Here Mitch, taste this. Go on, you won't hurt my feelings, just try it. What do you think, too sweet?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "What is it?"
• (Val Kilmer) "I don't know, I found it in one of the labs."
• (Val Kilmer) "Relax, it's just yogurt."

• (Val Kilmer) "Sir, let me take this moment to compliment you on your fashion sense, particularly your slippers."

• (Val Kilmer) "Would you qualify that as a launch problem or a design problem?"

• (Val Kilmer) "I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't want you guys to think I was stuffy. You know, no fun. All brain, no penis."

• (Professor Hathaway) "You still run?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Only when chased."

• (Val Kilmer) "Okay Mitch, I'm gonna make it up to you. Let's just pause, put that down. Let's just take a step back. No, I was wrong, I'm sorry, take a step forward. Now, take a step back. Step forward. Back. And then we're cha-cha-ing."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Will you stop it? I'm serious."
• (Val Kilmer) "Okay, I'm serious too."

• (Val Kilmer) "You didn't touch anything, did you?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "No."
• (Val Kilmer) "Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under 'H' for "toy.""
• (Gabriel Jarret) "What is that?"
• (Val Kilmer) "It's a penis stretcher. Do you want to try it?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "No."
• (Val Kilmer) "I'm kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility."

• (Val Kilmer) "Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dips*** Knight" has a nice ring to it."

• (Professor Hathaway) "You are of no further use to me."
• (Val Kilmer) "Interesting way to begin a conversation --"

• (Val Kilmer) "Jerry, if you think that by threatening me you can get me to be your slave -- Well, that's where you're right. But; and I am only saying this because I care; there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing."
• (Professor Hathaway) "I'm not kidding, Chris."
• (Val Kilmer) "Neither am I, Jerry."

• (Val Kilmer) "Kent puts his name on his license plate."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "My mom does the same thing to my underwear."
• (Val Kilmer) "Your mom puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?"

Michelle Meyrink as Jordan

• (Michelle Meyrink) "How do these look?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Terrible; mine looks like him and his looks like me."

• (Michelle Meyrink) "Are you peeing?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Uh, I can't start."
• (Michelle Meyrink) "Because I'm here?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "I think so."
• (Michelle Meyrink) "Weird. Well I have to go."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Me too."

• (Michelle Meyrink) "Are you going to take me home to meet your parents?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "No."
• (Michelle Meyrink) "Why? Are you ashamed of me?"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "No, them."
• (Michelle Meyrink) "Oh."

• (Michelle Meyrink) "I never sleep, I don't know why. I had a roommate and I drove her nuts, I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she's okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don't know if that had anything to do with being my fault. But listen, if you ever need to talk or you need help studying just let me know, 'cause I'm just a couple doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay?"

William Atherton as Roy

• (William Atherton) "Our studies indicate the weapon is totally useless in warfare."
• (Ed Lauter) "It's not intended for use in your kind of warfare, Roy. It's the perfect peacetime weapon. That's why it's secret."
• (Michelle Meyrink) "So it's both immoral and unethical?"
• (Ed Lauter) "Yes."

Mark Kamiyama as 'Ick' Ikagami

• (Mark Kamiyama) "Do you think it's getting weird around here?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Absolutely."
• (Michelle Meyrink) "I didn't notice."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "I like it."

• (Mark Kamiyama) "It worked."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "That's neat."
• (Mark Kamiyama) "Now if we can just keep it from exploding."
• (Robert Prescott) "Explo-?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Hey Ick, you were just kidding about exploding, right?"
• (Val Kilmer) "Ick? It's a joke, right?"

Louis Giambalvo as Major Carnagle

• (Louis Giambalvo) "Where's the laser?"
• (Professor Hathaway) "It's coming."
• (Louis Giambalvo) "It's coming? Ha. It's not even breathing hard."

Severn Darden as Dr. Meredith

• (Severn Darden) "A bit of advice --"
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Oh, uh, thank you --"
• (Severn Darden) "Always -- no, no -- never -- forget to check your references."
• (Gabriel Jarret) "Uh -- ok -- thank you. I'd better be going."
• (Severn Darden) "I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down" verbally, don't you?"

Jon Gries as Lazlo Hollyfeld

• (Jon Gries) "Did you wanna borrow my pajamas?"

• (Jon Gries) "Well, how'd you do?"
• (Val Kilmer) "How'd I do? I passed. But I failed. Yeah."
• (Jon Gries) "Well, then I'm happy and sad for you."

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