Ratatouille (film) Quotes

Ratatouille (film) is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Ratatouille ended its run in 1970.

It features Brad Lewis as producer, Michael Giacchino in charge of musical score, and Sharon Calahan, and Robert Anderson as head of cinematography.

Ratatouille (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Ratatouille (film) is 111 minutes long. Ratatouille (film) is distributed by Buena Vista Pictures.

The cast includes: Brad Garrett as Gusteau, Peter O'Toole as Anton Ego, Lou Romano as Linguini, Patton Oswalt as Remy, John Ratzenberger as Mustafa, Brian Dennehy as Django, Janeane Garofalo as Colette, Will Arnett as Horst, Ian Holm as Skinner, Peter Sohn as Emile, James Remar as Larousse, Julius Callahan as Lalo, and Brad Bird as Ambrister Minion.

Ratatouille (film) Quotes

Lou Romano as Linguini

• (Lou Romano) "That's strangely involuntareeee."

• (Lou Romano) "When I added that extra ingredient instead of following the recipe like you said, that wasn't me -- either."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "What do you mean?"
• (Lou Romano) "I mean, I wouldn't have done that. I would've followed the recipe, I would've followed your advice, I would've followed your advice to the ends of the Earth because I love you -- r advice. But --"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Don't do it --"
• (Lou Romano) "I have a secret. It's sort of disturbing. I have a ra -- I have a raaaaa --"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "You have a -- rash?"
• (Lou Romano) "No no no. I have this-this tiny, uh, little -- little --"
• (Lou Romano) "a tiny chef who tells me what to do."

• (Lou Romano) "I know this sounds insane, but -- well, the truth sounds insane sometimes, but that doesn't mean it's not. Uh, the, the truth. And the truth is, I have no talent at all. But this rat, he's the one behind these recipes, he's the cook. The real cook. He's been hiding under my toque. He's the reason I can cook the food that's exciting everyone, the reason Ego is outside that door. I know it's hard to believe, but hey, you believed I could cook, right? Look. This works. It's crazy but it works. We can be the greatest restaurant in Paris and this rat, this brilliant Little Chef, can lead us there. What do you say?"

• (Lou Romano) "Tonight is a big night. Appetite is coming, and he's gonna have a big ego. I mean, Ego. He's coming. The, the critic? And he's gonna order -- something. Something from our menu, and we'll have to cook it --"

• (Lou Romano) "Colette. Colette."
• (Lou Romano) "Oh, it's over Little Chef, I can't do it anymore."
• (Lou Romano) "Colette. Wait, wait, wait. Don't motorcycle away. Look, I'm no good with words. I'm no good with food either. At least not without your help."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "I hate false modesty. It's just another way to lie. You have talent."
• (Lou Romano) "No, but I don't. Really. It's not me."

• (Lou Romano) "Do you know what you would like this evening, sir?"
• (Peter O'Toole) "Yes, I'd like your heart roasted on a spit. Heh heh heh heh. Ha ha ha."

• (Lou Romano) "So this is it. It's not much but it's, y'know -- not much."

• (Lou Romano) "What should I do now?"
• (Ian Holm) "Kill it."
• (Lou Romano) "Now?"
• (Ian Holm) "No, not in the kitchen. Are you mad?"

• (Lou Romano) "Listen, I just want you to know how honored I am to be studying under such a --"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "No, you listen. I just want you to know exactly who you are dealing with. How many women do you see in this kitchen?"
• (Lou Romano) "Well, I uh --"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Only me. Why do you think that is? Because haute cuisine is an antiquated hierarchy built upon rules written by stupid, old, men. Rules designed to make it impossible for women to enter this world. But still I'm here. How did this happen?"
• (Lou Romano) "Well because, because you --"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Because I am the toughest cook in this kitchen. I have worked too hard for too long to get here, and I am not going to jeopardize it for some garbage boy who got lucky. Got it?"
• (Lou Romano) "Wow."

• (Lou Romano) "Look, I know it's stupid and weird, but neither of us can do this alone, so we got to do it together, right? You with me? So let's do this thing."

• (Lou Romano) "Can I interest you in a dessert this evening?"
• (Peter O'Toole) "Don't you always?"
• (Lou Romano) "Which one would you like?"
• (Peter O'Toole) "Surprise me."

• (Lou Romano) "Ngaah. Why is it so hard to talk to you? Okay. Here we go. You inspire me. I'm going to risk it all. I'm going to risk looking like the biggest idiot psycho you've ever seen. You wanna know why I'm such a fast learner? Why I'm such a great cook? Don't laugh. I'm going to show you --"

Brian Dennehy as Django

• (Brian Dennehy) "Where are you going?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Back to the restaraunt. They'll fail without me."
• (Brian Dennehy) "Why do you care?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Because I'm a cook."

• (Brian Dennehy) "Hey, believe me, that story gets better when I tell it, okay?"
• (Brian Dennehy) "Come on. Bring some food over here. We're starving."

• (Brian Dennehy) "Food is fuel. You get picky about what you put in the tank, your engine is gonna die. Now shut up and eat your garbage."

• (Brian Dennehy) "Now don't you feel better, Remy? Eh? You've helped a noble cause."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Noble? We, we're thieves, Dad, and what we're stealing is; let's face it; garbage."
• (Brian Dennehy) "It isn't stealing if no one wants it."
• (Patton Oswalt) "If no one wants it, why are we stealing it?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Let's just say we have different points of view."

• (Brian Dennehy) "Take a good long look, Remy. This is what happens when a rat gets a little too comfortable around humans. The world we live in belongs to the enemy. We must live carefully. We look out for our own kind, Remy. When all is said and done, we're all we've got."
• (Patton Oswalt) "No."
• (Brian Dennehy) "What?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "No. Dad, I don't believe it. You're telling me, that the future is; can only be; more of this ?"
• (Brian Dennehy) "This is the way things are. You can't change nature."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Change is nature, Dad. The part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide."
• (Brian Dennehy) "Where are you going?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "With luck, forward."

Patton Oswalt as Remy

• (Patton Oswalt) "Look, if we're going to be thieves, why not steal the good stuff in the kitchen, where nothing is poisoned?"
• (Brian Dennehy) "First of all, we are not thieves. Secondly, stay out of the kitchen and away from the humans. It's dangerous."
• (Patton Oswalt) "I know I'm supposed to hate humans, but there's something about them. They don't just survive, they discover, they create. I mean, just look at what they do with food."

• (Patton Oswalt) "I want to make things, Dad."

• (Patton Oswalt) "The key is to keep turning it. Get the smoky flavor niiice and even --"
• (Peter Sohn) "That storm's getting closer. Hey, Remy? You think that maybe we shouldn't be so --"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Whoa, you gotta taste this. This is -- oh, it's got this kind of -- mmm, it's burny, melty -- it's not really a smoky taste. It's more like a certain -- Pshew. It's got like this "Ba-boom. Zap." kind of taste. Don't you think? What would you call that flavor?"
• (Peter Sohn) "Lightning-y?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Yeah. It's lightning-y. Oh, we gotta do that again. Okay, when the next storm comes, we'll go up on the roof -- I know what this needs. Saffron. A little saffron would make this."
• (Peter Sohn) "Saffron. Why do I get the feeling --"
• (Peter Sohn) "It's in the kitchen."

• (Patton Oswalt) "Flour, eggs, sugar -- vanilla bean -- Oh, small twist of lemon."
• (Peter Sohn) "Whoa. You can smell all that? You have a gift."
• (Patton Oswalt) "This is Emile, my brother. He's easily impressed."
• (Brian Dennehy) "So you can smell ingredients. So what?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "This is my dad. He's never impressed."

• (Patton Oswalt) "What are you eating?"
• (Peter Sohn) "I don't really know. I think it was some sort of wrapper once."
• (Patton Oswalt) "What? No. You're in Paris now, baby. My town. No brother of mine eats rejecta-menta in my town."

• (Patton Oswalt) "I waited. For a sound -- a voice -- a sign --"

• (Patton Oswalt) "Creamy, salty-sweet, an oaky nuttiness -- You detect that?"
• (Peter Sohn) "Oh, I'm detecting nuttiness --"

• (Patton Oswalt) "Hey, I brought you something to --"
• (Patton Oswalt) "AH. NO, NO, NO, NO. SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW."
• (Patton Oswalt) "I have got to teach you about food. Close your eyes."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Now take a bite of thi --"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Ack. No, no, no. Don't just hork it down."
• (Peter Sohn) "Too late."

• (Patton Oswalt) "Clean -- clean -- cleanerific -- cleanerino -- close to godliness --"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Which means clean. You know, cleanliness is close to -- Never mind. Move on."

• (Patton Oswalt) "At first, Ego thinks it's a joke. But as Linguini explains, Ego's smile disappears. He doesn't react beyond asking the occasional question. And when the story's done, Ego stands, thanks us for the meal, and leaves, without another word. The following day, his review appears:"
• (Peter O'Toole) "In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more."

• (Patton Oswalt) "This is me. I think it's apparent that I need to rethink my life a little bit. What's my problem? First of all, I'm a rat. Which means, life is hard. Second, I have a highly developed sense of taste and smell."

• (Patton Oswalt) "I can't believe it. A real gourmet kitchen, and I get to watch."
• (Brad Garrett) "You've read my book. Let us see how much you know, huh? Which one is the chef?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Uh -- Oh, that guy."
• (Brad Garrett) "Very good. Who is next in command?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "The sous chef -- There. The sous is responsible for the kitchen when the chef's not around. Saucier, in charge of sauces. Very important. Chef de partie, demi chef de partie, both important. Commis, commis, they're cooks. Very important."
• (Brad Garrett) "Ah, you are a clever rat. Now, who is that?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Oh, him? He's nobody."
• (Brad Garrett) "Not nobody, he is part of the kitchen."
• (Patton Oswalt) "He's a plongeur or something. He washes dishes or takes out the garbage. He doesn't cook."
• (Brad Garrett) "But, he could."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Uh, no."
• (Brad Garrett) "How do you know? What do I always say? "Anyone can cook.""

• (Patton Oswalt) "What is he doing? No. No. No, this is terrible. He's ruining the soup. A-and nobody's noticing it?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "It's your restaurant. Do something."
• (Brad Garrett) "What can I do? I am a figment of your imagination."
• (Patton Oswalt) "But he's ruining the soup. We've got to tell someone that he's --"

• (Patton Oswalt) "Team three will be handling fish, team four, roasted items, team five, grill. Get to your stations. Let's go, go, go."

Brad Garrett as Gusteau

• (Brad Garrett) "You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. What I say is true; anyone can cook -- but only the fearless can be great."

• (Brad Garrett) "If you focus on what you left behind you will never see what lies ahead."

• (Brad Garrett) "What are you doing?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "I'm hungry. I don't know where I am and I don't know when I'll find food again --"
• (Brad Garrett) "Remy, you are better than that. You are a cook. A cook makes. A thief takes. You are not a thief."
• (Patton Oswalt) "But I am hungry."
• (Brad Garrett) "Food will come, Remy. Food always comes to those who love to cook."

• (Brad Garrett) "How can I describe it? Good food is like music you can taste, color you can smell. There is excellence all around you. You need only to be aware to stop and savor it."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Oh, Gusteau was right. Oh, mmm, yeah. Each flavor was totally unique. But, combine one flavor with another, and something new was created."

• (Brad Garrett) "What do I always say? Anyone can cook."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Well, yeah, anyone can, that doesn't mean that anyone should."

• (Brad Garrett) "Remy, what are you doing in here?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Emile shows up -- I said not to, I told him. He goes and blabs; it's a disaster. Anyway, they're hungry, the food safe is locked, and I need the key."
• (Brad Garrett) "They want you to steal food?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Yes. No -- it's complicated. It's family. They don't have your ideals."
• (Gusteau's Barbecue Spare-Ribs) "Ideals? Hah. If Chef Fancy Pants had any ideals you think I'd be hawkin' barbecue over here?"
• (Gusteau's Microwave Burritos) "Or Microwave burritos?"
• (Gusteau's Tooth-Pickin' Chicken) "Or tooth, I say, tooth-pickin' Chicken? S'about as French as a Corn Dog."
• (Gusteau's Corn Puppies) "Roof. Roming roon."
• (Gusteau's Barbecue Spare-Ribs) "Ha. We're inventin' new ways to sell out over here."
• (Gusteau's Haggis Bites) "Will ye' be wantin' some Haggis Bites, then?"
• (Brad Garrett) "I cannot control how they use my image Remy, I am dead."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Will you guys SHUT UP? I've got to think."

• (Brad Garrett) "If you are hungry, go up and look around, Remy. Why do you wait and mope?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Well, I just lost my family. All my friends. Probably forever."
• (Brad Garrett) "How do you know?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Well, I --"
• (Patton Oswalt) "You are an illustration. Why am I talking to you?"
• (Brad Garrett) "Well, you just lost your family. All your friends. You are lonely."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Yeah, well, you're dead."
• (Brad Garrett) "Ah, but that is no match for wishful thinking. If you focus on what you left behind, you will never be able to see what lies ahead. Now go up and look around."

• (Brad Garrett) "You were escaping."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Oh, yeah."

• (Brad Garrett) "Remy. What are you waiting for?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Is this going to become a regular thing with you?"
• (Brad Garrett) "You know how to fix it. This is your chance."

Janeane Garofalo as Colette

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Ratatouille, it's a peasant dish. Are you sure you want to serve this to Ego?"

• (Janeane Garofalo) "What is this? Keep; your station; clear. When the meal rush comes, what will happen? Messy stations slow things down. Food doesn't go, orders pile up, disaster. I'll make this easier to remember: keep your station clear, or I WILL KILL YOU."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Larousse ran gun for the Resistance."
• (Lou Romano) "Which resistance?"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "He won't say. Apparently, they didn't win."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Horst has done time."
• (Lou Romano) "What for?"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "No one know for sure. He changes the story every time you ask him."
• (Will Arnett) "I defrauded a major corporation."
• (Will Arnett) "I robbed the second-largest bank in France using only a ball-point pen."
• (Will Arnett) "I created a hole in the ozone over Avignon."
• (Will Arnett) "I killed a man -- with this thumb."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Ugh, your sleeves look like you threw up on them. Keep your hands and arms in, close to the body, like this, see? Always return to this position. Cooks move fast, sharp utensils, hot metal, keep your arms in, you will minimize cuts and burns and keep your sleeves clean. Mark of a chef: messy apron, clean sleeves."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Stop that."
• (Lou Romano) "Stop what?"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Freaking me out."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "Table five coming up right now."
• (Ian Holm) "Coming down the line."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Set. Hot. Open oven."
• (Ian Holm) "Coming around."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Oui, chef. One filet mignon, three lamb, two duck."
• (Ian Holm) "Fire those soufflés for table six, ja?"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Five minutes, chef."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Oh, God."
• (John Ratzenberger) "Tonight, I'd like to present the foie gras. It has a wonderful finish."
• (Ian Holm) "Ready to go on table seven. Come on. Let's go."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Oui, chef."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "So you see, we are artist, pirate. More than cooks are we."
• (Lou Romano) "We?"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Oui. You are one of us now, oui?"
• (Lou Romano) "Oui."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "I know the Gusteau style cold. In every dish, Chef Gusteau always has something unexpected. I will show you. I memorize all his recipe."
• (Lou Romano) "Always do something unexpected."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "No. Follow the recipe."
• (Lou Romano) "But you just said that --"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "No-no-no-no. It was his job to be unexpected. It is our job to --"
• (Lou Romano) "-- follow the recipe."

• (Janeane Garofalo) "How do you tell how good bread is without tasting it? Not the smell, not the look, but the sound of the crust. Listen."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Oh, symphony of crackle. Only great bread sound this way."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "The only way to get the best produce is to have first pick of the day, and there are only two way to get first pick. Grow it yourself, or bribe a grower. Voilà. The best restaurant get first pick."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "People think haute cuisine is snooty. So chef must also be snooty. But not so. Lalo there? Ran away from home at twelve. Got hired by circus people as an acrobat. And then, he get fired for messing around with the ringmaster's daughter."

Ian Holm as Skinner

• (Ian Holm) "What are you playing at?"
• (Lou Romano) "Um, uh -- am I still fired?"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "You can't fire him."
• (Ian Holm) "What?"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "LeClaire likes it, yeah? She made a point of telling you so. if she write a review to that effect and find out you fired the cook responsible?"
• (Ian Holm) "He's a garbage boy."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Who made something she liked. How can we claim to represent the name of Gusteau if we don't uphold his most cherished belief?"
• (Ian Holm) "And what belief is that, Mademoiselle Tatou?"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Anyone can cook."
• (Ian Holm) "Perhaps I have been a bit harsh on our new garbage boy. He has taken a bold risk, and we should reward that, as Chef Gusteau would have. If he wishes to swim in dangerous waters, who are we to deny him?"

• (Ian Holm) "You are either very lucky or very unlucky. You will make the soup again, and this time I'll be paying attention. Very close attention. They think you might be a cook. But you know what I think, Linguini? I think you're a sneaky, overreaching little --"
• (Ian Holm) "RAAAT."

• (Ian Holm) "You are COOKING? How DARE you cook in MY kitchen. Where do get the gall to attempt something so monumentally idiotic? I should have you drawn and quartered. I'll do it. I think the law is on my side. Larousse, draw and quarter this man. After you put him in the duck press to squeeze the fat out of his head."
• (Lou Romano) "Oh no no no, OH NO, don't let them, don't eat --"
• (Ian Holm) "What are you blathering about?"
• (Lou Romano) "-- the soup."
• (Ian Holm) "Soup? Stop that soup. Noooooooo."
• (Unnamed) "Waiter."
• (Ian Holm) "Linguini. You're fired. F-I-R-E-D. Fired."
• (John Ratzenberger) "She wants to see the chef."
• (John Ratzenberger) "B-but he --"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "What did the customer say?"
• (John Ratzenberger) "It was not a customer. It was a critic."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "Ego?"
• (Ian Holm) "Solene LeClaire."
• (Janeane Garofalo) "LeClaire. What did she say?"
• (John Ratzenberger) "She likes the soup."

• (Ian Holm) "Collette will be responsible with teaching you how we do things here."

• (Ian Holm) "Since you have expressed such an interest in his cooking career, you shall be responsible for it. Anyone else? Then back to work."

• (Ian Holm) "Look at him out there, pretending to be an idiot. He's toying with my mind like a cat with a ball -- of something."
• (Lawyer) "String?"
• (Ian Holm) "Yes. Playing dumb, taunting me with that RAT."
• (Lawyer) "Rat?"
• (Ian Holm) "Yes. He's consorting with it, deliberately trying to make me think it's important."
• (Lawyer) "The -- rat?"
• (Ian Holm) "EXACTLY."
• (Lawyer) "Is the rat important?"
• (Ian Holm) "Of course not. He just wants me to THINK that it is. O-ho, I see the theatricality of it. A rat appears on the boy's first night, I order him to kill it, and now he wants me to see it everywhere."
• (Ian Holm) "Ooooh. It's here. No it isn't it's here. Am I seeing things, am I crazy, is there a phantom rat or is there not, but oh, no. I refuse to be sucked into his little game -- of --"
• (Lawyer) "Should I be concerned about this? About you?"

• (Ian Holm) "You know something about rats, you know you do."
• (Lou Romano) "You know who know, do, whacka-do. Ratta-tatta; Hey, why do they call it that?"
• (Ian Holm) "What?"
• (Lou Romano) "Ratatouille. It's like a stew, right? Why do they call it that? If you're gonna name a food, you should give it a name that sounds delicious. Ratatouille doesn't sound delicious. It sounds like "rat" and "patootie." Rat patootie. Which does not sound delicious."
• (Ian Holm) "Regrettably, we are all -- out -- of wine."

• (Ian Holm) "Surely you don't expect me to believe this is your first time cooking?"
• (Lou Romano) "It's not."
• (Ian Holm) "I KNEW IT."
• (Lou Romano) "It's my -- second, third, fourth, fifth time. Monday was my first time. But I've taken out the garbage lots of times before that --"
• (Ian Holm) "Yes, yes, yes, have some more wine."

• (Ian Holm) "And don't forget to stress its Linguini-ness."
• (Will Arnett) "Oui, chef."

• (Lawyer) "Well, the will stipulates that if after two years from the date of death, no heir appears, Gusteau's business will pass on to his sous-chef, you."
• (Ian Holm) "I know what the will stipulates. What I want to know, is if this letter; if this boy changes anything."
• (Lawyer) "There's not much resemblance."
• (Ian Holm) "There's NO resemblance at all. He's not Gusteau's son, Gusteau had no children. And what of the timing of all this? The deadline in the will expires in less than a month. Suddenly some boy arrives with a letter from his recently deceased mother claiming Gusteau is his father? Highly suspect."
• (Lawyer) "-- This was Gusteau's?"
• (Ian Holm) "Yes."
• (Lawyer) "May I?"
• (Ian Holm) "Of course, of course."
• (Lawyer) "But, the boy does not know?"
• (Ian Holm) "She claims she never told him, or Gusteau, and asks that I not tell."
• (Lawyer) "Why you? What does she want?"
• (Ian Holm) "A job, for the boy."
• (Lawyer) "Only a job? Well, then this is easy. If he works here, you can keep an eye on him while I do a little digging, find out how much of this is real. I'll need you to collect some DNA samples from the boy, hair maybe --"
• (Ian Holm) "Mark my words, the whole thing is highly suspect. He knows -- something."
• (Lawyer) "Relax, he's a garbage boy. I think you can handle him."

• (Ian Holm) "Have you ever had a pet rat?"
• (Lou Romano) "No."
• (Ian Holm) "Did you work in a lab with rats?"
• (Lou Romano) "Nooope."
• (Ian Holm) "Perhaps you lived in squalor at some point?"
• (Lou Romano) "Nopity, nopity noo."

• (Ian Holm) "Toasting your success, eh, Linguini? Good for you."
• (Lou Romano) "Oh, I just took it to be polite. I don't really drink, you know."
• (Ian Holm) "Oh, of course you don't. I wouldn't either if I was drinking that. But you would have to be an idiot of elephantine proportions not to appreciate this '61 Château Latour, and you, Monsieur Linguini, are no idiot. Let us toast your non-idiocy."

• (Ian Holm) "Do you know what would happen if anyone knew we had a rat in our kitchen? They'd close us down. Our reputation is hanging as a thread as it is. Take it away from here. Far away. Kill it. Dispose of it. Go."

• (Ian Holm) "Welcome to Hell."

• (Ian Holm) "Get the rat. Linguini. Get something to trap it."
• (Will Arnett) "It's getting away. Get it, get it, get it."

• (Ian Holm) "Got your toque."

• (Ian Holm) "The soup. Where is the soup? Out of my way. Move it, garbage boy."
• (Ian Holm) "You are COOKING? How DARE you cook in MY kitchen. Where do you get the gall to even attempt something so monumentally idiotic? I should have you drawn and quartered. I'll do it. I think the law is on my side. Larousse, draw and quarter this man; after you put him in the duck press to squeeze the fat out of his head."

• (Ian Holm) "I will have whatever he is having."

Peter Sohn as Emile

• (Peter Sohn) "Why are you walking like that?"
• (Patton Oswalt) "I don't want to constantly have to wash my paws. Did you ever think about how we walk on the same paws that we handle food with? You ever think about what we put into our mouths?"
• (Peter Sohn) "All the time."
• (Patton Oswalt) "Ugh, when I eat, I don't want to taste everywhere my paws have been."
• (Peter Sohn) "Well, go ahead. But if dad sees you walking like that, he's not gonna like it."

• (Peter Sohn) "But we're supposed to return to the colony before sundown or, you know, Dad's gonna --"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Emile. There are possibilities unexplored here. We got to cook this. Now, exactly how we cook this is the real question --"
• (Patton Oswalt) "Oh, hehe, yeah."

Peter O'Toole as Anton Ego

• (Narrator) "Although each of the world's countries would like to dispute this fact, we French know the truth: the best food in the world is made in France. The best food in France is made in Paris. And the best food in Paris, some say, is made by Chef Auguste Gusteau. Gusteau's restuarant is the toast of Paris, booked five months in advance. And his dazzling ascent to the top of fine French cuisine has made his competitors envious. He is the youngest chef ever to achieve a five-star rating. Chef Gusteau's cookbook "Anyone Can Cook." climbed to the top of the bestseller list. But not everyone celebrates its success."
• (Peter O'Toole) "Amusing title, "Anyone Can Cook.". What's even more amusing is that Gusteau actually seems to believe it. I, on the other hand, take cooking seriously. And, no, I don't think anyone can do it."

• (Peter O'Toole) "In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more."

• (Peter O'Toole) "I can't remember the last time I asked to give my compliments to the chef. And now I find myself in the extraordinary position of having my waiter be the chef."
• (Lou Romano) "Thanks, but -- I'm just your waiter tonight."
• (Peter O'Toole) "Then who do I thank for the meal?"
• (Lou Romano) "Uh -- excuse me a moment?"
• (Peter O'Toole) "You must be the chef --"
• (Janeane Garofalo) "If you wish to meet the chef, you will have to wait, until all the other customer have gone."
• (Peter O'Toole) "So be it."

• (Peter O'Toole) "You are Monsieur Linguini?"
• (Lou Romano) "Uh, hello."
• (Peter O'Toole) "Pardon me for interrupting your premature celebration, but I thought it only fair to give you a sporting chance as you are new to this game."
• (Lou Romano) "Uh -- game?"
• (Peter O'Toole) "Yes, and you've been playing without an opponent, which is, as you may have guessed -- against the rules."
• (Lou Romano) "You're -- Anton Ego."
• (Peter O'Toole) "You're slow for someone in the fast lane."
• (Lou Romano) "And you're -- thin, for someone who likes food."
• (Peter O'Toole) "I don't like food; I LOVE it. If I don't love it, I don't swallow."
• (Peter O'Toole) "I will return tomorrow night with high expectations. Pray you don't disappoint me."

• (Peter O'Toole) "What is it, Ambrister?"
• (Brad Bird) "Gusteau's, sir."
• (Peter O'Toole) "Finally closing, is it?"
• (Brad Bird) "No, sir."
• (Peter O'Toole) "More financial troubles?"
• (Brad Bird) "No --"
• (Peter O'Toole) "Announced a new line of microwave egg rolls? What? What? Spit it out."
• (Brad Bird) "It's -- come back. It's popular."
• (Peter O'Toole) "I haven't reviewed Gusteau's in years."
• (Brad Bird) "No, sir."
• (Peter O'Toole) "My last review condemned it to the tourist train."
• (Brad Bird) "Yes."
• (Peter O'Toole) "I said, "Gusteau has finally found his rightful place in history right alongside another equally famous chef: Monsieur Boyardee.""
• (Brad Bird) "Yes."
• (Peter O'Toole) "That is where I left it. That was my last word; THE last word."
• (Brad Bird) "Yes."
• (Peter O'Toole) "Then tell me, Ambrister, how could it be POPULAR?"

John Ratzenberger as Mustafa

• (John Ratzenberger) "Someone has asked what is new."
• (Will Arnett) "New?"
• (John Ratzenberger) "Yes. What do I tell them?"
• (Will Arnett) "Well, what did you tell them?"
• (John Ratzenberger) "I told them I would ask."
• (Ian Holm) "What are you blathering about?"
• (Will Arnett) "Customers are asking what is new."
• (John Ratzenberger) "What should I tell them?"
• (Ian Holm) "What did you tell them?"
• (John Ratzenberger) "I TOLD THEM I WOULD ASK."
• (Ian Holm) "This is simple. Just pull out an old Gusteau recipe, something we haven't made in a while --"
• (John Ratzenberger) "They know about the old stuff. They like Linguini's soup."
• (Ian Holm) "They are asking for food from LINGUINI?"

• (John Ratzenberger) "Do you know what you'd like this evening, sir?"
• (Peter O'Toole) "Yes, I think I do. After reading a lot of overheated puffery about your new cook, you know what I'm craving? A little perspective. That's it. I'd like some fresh, clear, well seasoned perspective. Can you suggest a good wine to go with that?"
• (John Ratzenberger) "With what, sir?"
• (Peter O'Toole) "Perspective. Fresh out, I take it?"
• (John Ratzenberger) "I am, uh --"
• (Peter O'Toole) "Very well. Since you're all out of perspective and no one else seems to have it in this BLOODY TOWN, I'll make you a deal. You provide the food, I'll provide the perspective, which would go nicely with a bottle of Cheval Blanc 1947."
• (John Ratzenberger) "I'm afraid -- your dinner selection?"
• (Peter O'Toole) "Tell your chef Linguini that I want whatever he dares to serve me. Tell him to hit me with his best SHOT."

James Remar as Larousse

• (James Remar) "Hey, boss, look who it is. Alfredo Linguini. Renata's little boy. All grown up, eh? You remember Renata. Gusteau's old flame?"
• (Ian Holm) "Ah, yes. How are you, uh --"
• (James Remar) "Linguini."
• (Ian Holm) "Yes, Linguini, so nice of you to visit. How is, uh?"
• (Lou Romano) "My mother?"
• (Ian Holm) "Yes --"
• (James Remar) "Renata."
• (Ian Holm) "Yes, Renata. How is she?"
• (Lou Romano) "Good -- well, not -- good -- She's been better. She's, uh -- she --"
• (Will Arnett) "She died."
• (Ian Holm) "Oh, uh, I'm sorry."
• (Lou Romano) "Well, don't be. She believed in Heaven, so she's covered -- you know, afterlife-wise? Uh --"
• (Ian Holm) "What is this?"
• (Lou Romano) "She left it for you. I think she hoped it would help -- me. You know, get a job -- Here?"

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