Rat Race (film) Quotes

Rat Race (film) is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Rat Race stopped airing in 1970.

It features Jerry Zucker as producer, John Powell (film composer) in charge of musical score, and Thomas E. Ackerman as head of cinematography.

Rat Race (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Rat Race (film) is 112 minutes long. Rat Race (film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Cuba Gooding Jr. as Owen Templeton, Amy Smart as Lucy, Rowan Atkinson as Enrico Pollini, Wayne Knight as Zack Mallozzi, John Cleese as Donald Sinclair, Jon Lovitz as Randy Pear, Breckin Meyer as Nick Schaffer, Brandy Ledford as Vicki, Dave Thomas as Harold Grisham, Kathy Najimy as Bev Pear, Lanei Chapman as Merrill, Whoopi Goldberg as Vera Baker, Seth Green as Duane Cody, Vince Vieluf as Blaine Cody, Amy Smart as Tracy Faucet, Dean Cain as Shawn Kent, and Rowan Atkinson as Nazi.

Rat Race (film) Quotes

Seth Green as Duane Cody

• (Seth Green) "It's true, you could break your neck. But it's a risk I'm willing to take."

• (Seth Green) "Where the hell is the airport?"

• (Seth Green) "What do you mean that's it? I'm not giving up. And neither are you. And neither am I."

• (Seth Green) "I'm gonna get you, stupid hardware guy."

John Cleese as Donald Sinclair

• (John Cleese) "Go."

• (John Cleese) "I can do whatever I want. I'm eccentric. Grr."

• (John Cleese) "Excuse me. Thank you all for coming. I'm Donald Sinclair, I own this hotel. We don't have much time. There's a meteor the size of North Carolina heading straight for Earth. The impact is going to kill every thing and everyone on this planet. I built a bunker in the basement to this casino strong enough to withstand the blast. There's room enough for eight people. I have chosen the seven of you, plus me. When this is over, it'll be up to us to repopulate and re-civilize the planet."
• (John Cleese) "I couldn't resist. I'm sorry."

• (John Cleese) "I can do anything I want, I'm eccentric. Aaarrrgh."

Dave Thomas as Harold Grisham

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Amy Smart as Tracy Faucet

• (Amy Smart) "C'mon, open it."
• (Breckin Meyer) "You know, Tracy, I really don't feel comfortable --"
• (Amy Smart) "OPEN IT."
• (Breckin Meyer) "Okay."

• (Amy Smart) "Did I come at a bad time, asshole?"

• (Amy Smart) "I'll ram this helicopter down your throat."
• (Breckin Meyer) "No. Woah. What are you doing?"
• (Amy Smart) "Don't worry about me, my father's a Navy pilot. I've been flying since I was 15."
• (Breckin Meyer) "No, I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about me."

• (Mechanic) "Darlin, we don't have any sand."
• (Amy Smart) "Hello. WE'RE IN THE DESERT."

Vince Vieluf as Blaine Cody

• (Vince Vieluf) "Why don't 'oo"
• (Vince Vieluf) "do it?"
• (Seth Green) "Because, Einstein, one of us has to be the victim, one of us has to be the witness. What kind of a witness would you make? I'm your own brother, I don't know what the hell you're saying."

Rowan Atkinson as Nazi

• (Rowan Atkinson) "It's a race."
• (Rowan Atkinson) "I'm winning."

• (Rowan Atkinson) "Food. Look at all this food."
• (Rowan Atkinson) "Little Cock doggies."
• (Lanei Chapman) "They're called cocktail weenies."
• (Rowan Atkinson) "Weenies. Ha. I'm so sorry. My English is not so good. But I'm learning."

• (Rowan Atkinson) "It's a race."

• (Rowan Atkinson) "Claus Barbi, a talented ballroom dancer --"

• (Rowan Atkinson) "Am I too late ? Look I won a coin, a gold coin. Oh, isn't this wonderful? Look at this room, what a beautiful room, have you seen this room?"
• (Jon Lovitz) "Yes. We're in it."

• (Rowan Atkinson) "Look. A drifter, let's kill him."

• (Rowan Atkinson) "I have lost my heart many times before."
• (Rowan Atkinson) "I make a joke to help you forget how screwed you are."

• (Rowan Atkinson) "Ah. Yes."
• (Dave Thomas) "Sir, it's Pollini, he's first at the station."
• (Rowan Atkinson) "Am i winning?"
• (John Cleese) "I knew it."
• (Dave Thomas) "Sir, he is opening the locker right now."
• (John Cleese) "Harold, what's going on?"
• (Dave Thomas) "He's sleeping -- Sir."

• (Rowan Atkinson) "I am Enrico Pollini. Now, I know what you are thinking -- Enrico is a girl's name."
• (Cuba Gooding Jr.) "No I wasn't."
• (Rowan Atkinson) "No pun intended."
• (Cuba Gooding Jr.) "What pun was that?"

Jon Lovitz as Randy Pear

• (Jon Lovitz) "I do not want to work at Home Depot."

• (Jason Pear) "I can't believe it, Dad. You stole Adolf Hitler's Mercedes-Benz."
• (Jon Lovitz) "Well, Hitler had it comin'. What goes around comes around."
• (Kimberly Pear) "Dad, they're gonna be pissed."
• (Jon Lovitz) "Eh, they're always pissed, Honey. They're Nazis. It's like it's their job."

• (Jon Lovitz) "Hi, I really like your dike -- Bike."

• (Jon Lovitz) "I do not want to work at Home Depot."

• (Jon Lovitz) "Jason, where did you get that?"
• (Jason Pear) "I found it under the seat."
• (Jon Lovitz) "Give it to me. You can't play that."
• (Jason Pear) "Why not?"
• (Jon Lovitz) "Because it's Hitler's harmonica. You can't play Hitler's harmonica."
• (Jason Pear) "You're driving his car."
• (Jon Lovitz) "Yes, but I'm not touching it with my mouth. I'm not sucking on the dashboard. I'm not getting his germs."

• (Jon Lovitz) "Are you insane? This is Hitler's car."

Cuba Gooding Jr. as Owen Templeton

• (Cuba Gooding Jr.) "I am not a bus driver. I do not work for the bus company. All right? I -- I needed a ride to New Mexico, so I stole this uniform. See this jacket? This is not my jacket. Remember Marty, the bus driver? Huh? This is his shirt. I stole it. And these pants, you think I'd wear these pants? These aren't my pants. These are Marty's pants. I stole them. I am not a bus driver."

• (Gus the Cabbie) "Confederate -- confederate -- THROW THE BALL. That's why you're not going to get drafted. You'll be lucky to play arena football in Barcelona."
• (Gus the Cabbie) "You like football?"
• (Cuba Gooding Jr.) "Sure."
• (Gus the Cabbie) "Did you happen to catch that, uh, Dallas game last week? You can't really call it a game, it was more of an obscenity, a crime against football. I lost twenty grand on that game. And they would have won. Now I gotta work TWO shifts because of that idiot. I mean, Stevie Wonder coulda done a better job callin' that game."

Breckin Meyer as Nick Schaffer

• (Breckin Meyer) "My grandfather used to say that good things take time, but great things happen all at once."

• (Mechanic) "There, it's done, but I still do't think she's gonna hold."
• (Breckin Meyer) "About how much we owe you?"
• (Mechanic) "500 bucks."
• (Amy Smart) "For what? For 2 quarts and sealant? No, that's 20 bucks, tops. Here's 40 dollars, that's double what it's worth."
• (Mechanic) "Hold it. Another little tool no mechanic should be without."
• (Breckin Meyer) "Fine, here's your money --"
• (Breckin Meyer) ". But let me tell you something, Billy Ray. What goes around comes around."
• (Amy Smart) "This is so un- -- Christian."
• (Mechanic) "Un-Christian? HA. Well, if the good Lord doesn't like the way I conduct business, let him say something. Let him gimme a sign."
• (Mechanic) "Oh Lord, I'm here, and I'm listening. Helloooooo."

• (Breckin Meyer) "Hi. I'm checking out 14322."

• (Breckin Meyer) "I think we just killed him."
• (Amy Smart) "You can't kill him, he's like a cockroach."

• (Breckin Meyer) "I think we just killed him."
• (Amy Smart) "You can't kill him, he's like a cockroach. Uh -- uh oh --"
• (Breckin Meyer) "No, no, no. No uh-oh. Fix the uh-oh. Ah. Should we be this low?"
• (Amy Smart) "We just violated about 115 federal laws."
• (Breckin Meyer) "WE?"
• (Amy Smart) "I'm getting out of here. Are you coming?"
• (Breckin Meyer) "No, no. I know things look bad but --"
• (Amy Smart) "Nice meeting you."
• (Amy Smart) "Get out of the truck, Shawn."
• (Dean Cain) "That's it, Tracy, you and I are through."
• (Breckin Meyer) "Tracy. Wait. Tracy."
• (Breckin Meyer) "This is the first illegal thing I've done in my adult life."
• (Amy Smart) "How does it feel?"
• (Breckin Meyer) "I'm shaking. But that could be from the helicopter crash."
• (Dean Cain) "Get out of my truck, Tracy."
• (Amy Smart) "It's my truck, Shawn, I paid for it."
• (Dean Cain) "Who is this?"
• (Breckin Meyer) "Oh, I'm nobody."
• (Dean Cain) "Yeah, you are nobody."
• (Breckin Meyer) "Yeah -- nobody."
• (Dean Cain) "You stay away from her, nobody, unless you're tired of living."

• (Breckin Meyer) "What's this $110?"
• (Hotel Clerk) "Those are your in-room movies."
• (Breckin Meyer) "No, I didn't watch any movies."
• (Hotel Clerk) "Okay, let's see -- Afro Whores."
• (Breckin Meyer) "Afro Whores?"
• (Hotel Clerk) "You watched it -- let's see -- uh, 11 times."
• (Breckin Meyer) "No, no, no --"
• (Hotel Clerk) "Afro Whores, 2:30. Afro Whores, 4 o'clock. Afro Whores, 5:30. It says in the morning you watched The Grinch for ten minutes and then switched back over to Afro Whores."
• (Breckin Meyer) "I swear I didn't watch it. Okay? I was at a bachelor party. There were 35 people there. You can ask any of them. You have to take that off my record."
• (Hotel Clerk) "This is not a record, sir."
• (Breckin Meyer) "It -- It's a delete."
• (Hotel Clerk) "Okay, fine. How many times did you watch it?"
• (Breckin Meyer) "None. I didn't watch it."
• (Hotel Clerk) "Are you sure? "Sizzling, three-way, backdoor action featuring two sexy soul sisters -- ""
• (Breckin Meyer) "I don't need to know what it's about. I did not watch it."
• (Breckin Meyer) "I didn't."

Kathy Najimy as Bev Pear

• (Kathy Najimy) "Your daughter has to go to the bathroom."
• (Jon Lovitz) "All right, all right, Jason, look in the back for an empty jar."
• (Kathy Najimy) "A jar? Girls don't pee in jars."
• (Jon Lovitz) "Oh, right. Sorry. Jason, we're gonna need a jar and a funnel."

Lanei Chapman as Merrill

• (Lanei Chapman) "It's some sort of joke. It has to be."
• (Seth Green) "What kind of jackass just gives away $2 million?"
• (Cuba Gooding Jr.) "Maybe it's a publicity stunt."
• (Jon Lovitz) "What kind of publicity? He swore us all to secrecy."
• (Whoopi Goldberg) "Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt."
• (Jon Lovitz) "A secret publicity stunt?"

• (Lanei Chapman) "So, when you say "go", you mean, just go?"
• (John Cleese) "Uh, begin, commence, start moving -- theoretically you have been racing for about forty seconds now, and so far Mr. Schaffer is winning because he's nearest to the door."

• (Lanei Chapman) "We're not crazy, lady."
• (Whoopi Goldberg) "We should've bought a squirrel, but we didn't buy a squirrel."
• (Lanei Chapman) "Which is why we stole the rocket car."

Whoopi Goldberg as Vera Baker

• (Rental Car Trainee) "We have a midsized Caprice."
• (Whoopi Goldberg) "What color is it?"
• (Lanei Chapman) "It doesn't matter. We'll take it."

• (Whoopi Goldberg) "We came in a rocket car."

Brandy Ledford as Vicki

• (Brandy Ledford) "So Harry, what can I do for you?"
• (Dave Thomas) "Okay -- here's what I want. First we both get naked."
• (Brandy Ledford) "So far so good."
• (Dave Thomas) "Except -- we're both wearing sailor hats. Then we get into a jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, I clip your toenails, and you shave my buttocks."
• (Brandy Ledford) "Pardon me?"
• (Dave Thomas) "Naked, Jacuzzi, Pepto-Bismol, toenails, shave my buttocks. How much would that cost?"
• (Brandy Ledford) "Harry, you have quite an imagination."

Wayne Knight as Zack Mallozzi

• (Gloria Allred) "Stay right there. I saw the whole thing. I'll be right down."
• (Wayne Knight) "Oh s***. Gloria Allred."

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