Quarantine (Red Dwarf) Quotes

Quarantine (Red Dwarf) is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Quarantine stopped airing in 1970.

Quarantine (Red Dwarf) Quotes

• (Unnamed) "I was just doing a little test -- a little test to see if you'd all gone crazy --"
• (Unnamed) "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's crazy people."

• (Unnamed) "Oh brutal."
• (Unnamed) "There is no need for alarm, sir. If there were any dangerous viral strains in the atmosphere, the Psi-scan would have picked them up by now --"
• (Unnamed) "It's never done that before --"
• (Unnamed) "Stupid cheap damn stupid Martian power packs."
• (Unnamed) "So what's the news?"
• (Unnamed) "Well, if I could just beg your indulgence for a few seconds more, sir, the old 345 takes a little time to warm up."
• (Unnamed) "Still, it out-performs the 346 in eight out of nine bench tests. A small wonder, then, that it secured "Psi-scan of the Year, Best Budget Model" three years running. Ah. Now here are the results. Yep. And we're going to -- live."
• (Unnamed) "We're a real Mickey Mouse operation aren't we?"
• (Unnamed) "Mickey Mouse? We ain't even Betty Boop."

• (Unnamed) "Mr. Flibble's very cross."

• (Unnamed) "Why is it we never meet anyone nice?"
• (Unnamed) "Why is it we never meet anyone who can shoot straight?"

• (Unnamed) "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's crazy people."
• (Unnamed) "OK. We've passed the test now, Rimmer. You can let us out."
• (Unnamed) "I can't let you out."
• (Unnamed) "Why not?"
• (Unnamed) "Because the king of the potato people won't let me. I begged him. I went down on my knees and wept. He wants to keep you here -- keep you here for ten years."
• (Unnamed) "Can we see him?"
• (Unnamed) "See who?"
• (Unnamed) "The king."
• (Unnamed) "Do you have a magic carpet?"
• (Unnamed) "Yeah. A little three-seater."

• (Unnamed) "So let me get this straight. You wanna fly on a magic carpet to see the king of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you're all completely sane?"

• (Unnamed) "Now must dasherooni. I've got to go and prepare your daily musical entertainment. I think you'll like it. It's a perpetually looped tape of "Reggie Dixon's Tango Treats"."

• (Unnamed) "What about entertainment? You are obliged to provide us with minimum leisure facilities. Games, literature, hobby activities, motion pictures."
• (Unnamed) "And in accordance with Space Corps directive 312, you'll find in the storage cupboard over there a chess set with thirty-one missing pieces, a knitting magazine with a pull-out special on crocheted hats, a puzzle magazine with all the crosswords completed and a video of the excellent cinematic treat, "Wall-papering, Painting, and Stippling; a DIY guide"."

• (Unnamed) "I have a riddle for you. What's dead and dead and dead all over?"
• (Unnamed) "Give in, Doctor Fruit Loop. Do tell."
• (Unnamed) "Yooooooooouuuuuuu."
• (Unnamed) "Well, we know what to get you for Christmas. A double lobotomy and ten rolls of rubber wallpaper."

• (Unnamed) "You don't think there's anything amiss? I'm sitting here wearing a red and white checked gingham dress -- and army boots -- and you think there's nothing amiss?"

• (Unnamed) "Frankenstein was the creator; not the monster. It's a common misconception, held by all truly stupid people."

• (Unnamed) "They've been very bad, Mr. Flibble. What we going to do with them?"
• (Unnamed) "We couldn't possibly do that. Who'd clean up the mess?"

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.