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Private Plane Quotes

Private Plane is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Private Plane completed its run in 1970.

Private Plane Quotes

  • (Captain Darling) "Excuse me, Sir"
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Yes, yes, prat at the back."
  • (Captain Darling) "I'm sure we'd all like to know -- Why are you called the Twenty Minuters?"
  • (Lieutenant George) "Oh, Mr Thicko, fancy not knowing that."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "It's simple. The life expectancy of a new pilot is twenty minutes."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Life expectancy of twenty minutes?"
  • (Lord Flasheart) "That's right. Goggles on, last one back's a homo. Hooray."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "So we take off in ten minutes, we're in the air for twenty minutes, so we should be dead by twenty five to ten."
  • (Lieutenant George) "Hairy blighters, sir, this is a bit of a turn-up for the plus fours."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "And always remember; if you want something, take it. Bobby."
  • (Bob Parkhurst) "My lord?"
  • (Lord Flasheart) "I want something."
  • (Bob Parkhurst) "Take it."
  • (Squadron Commander Lord Flasheart) "Listen, just because I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting, doesn't mean I'm not sick of this war."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Hey girls, look at my machinery."
  • (General Melchett) "If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Unfortunately most of the infantry think you're a prat. Ask them who they'd rather meet, Squadron Commander Flasheart or the man who cleans out the public toilets in Aberdeen, and they'd go for Wee Jock Poo-Pong McPlop every time."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "They're right, you know; this is a doddle."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Oops, a little wobble there. Right, let's take stock; Baldrick, how many rounds have we got?"
  • (Private Baldrick) "500, sir; cheese and tomato for you, rat for me."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Flasheart, this is Captain Darling."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Captain Darling? Funny name for a guy isn't it? Last person I called darling was pregnant twenty seconds later."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Ok chums, let's doooooo it. As the bishop said to the netball team."
  • (Captain Darling) "I shouldn't worry, Blackadder; flying is all about navigation. As long as you've got a good navigator, I'm sure you'll be fine."
  • (Lieutenant George) "Crikey, sir. I'm looking forward to today. Up diddly up, down diddly down, whoops, poop, twiddly dee; decent scrap with the fiendish Red Baron; bit of a jolly old crash landing behind enemy lines; capture, torture, escape, and then back home in time for tea and medals."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "George, who's using the family brain cell at the moment? This is just the training; 6 months of dull men looking at machinery."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Hey, girls; look at my machinery."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "I was wondering whether, after being tortured by the most vicious sadist in the German army, I might be allowed a week's leave to recuperate."
  • (General Melchett) "Excellent idea. Your commanding officer would have to be stark raving mad to refuse you."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "You are my commanding officer."
  • (General Melchett) "Well?"
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Can I have a week's leave to recuperate, sir?"
  • (General Melchett) "Certainly not."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Thank you sir."
  • (General Melchett) "Baaa."
  • (Baron von Richthoven) "Ah, and the Lord Flasheart. This is indeed an honour. Finally, the two greatest gentleman fliers in the world meet. Two men of honour, who have jousted together in the cloud-strewn glory of the skies, face to face at last. How often I have rehearsed this moment of destiny in my dreams. The panoply to encapsulate the unspoken nobility of a comradeship."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "What a poof."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. Now I may be packing the kind of tackle that you'd normally expect to find swinging about between the hindlegs of a Grand National winner, but I'm not totally stupid. I've got the kind of feeling you'd rather we hadn't come."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "No, no, no, I'm very grateful. It's just that I'd slow you up."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "I think I'm beginning to understand."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Are -- are you?"
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Just because I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting on it, doesn't mean that I'm not sick of this damn war: the blood, the noise, the endless poetry."
  • (Private Baldrick) "I hope we land on something soft."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Fine; I'll aim for the spot between General Melchet's ears."
  • (Gen. Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett) "Now then, then now, now then, then, then, then now."
  • (Gen. Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett) "Now then, what's all the fuss about?"
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Ha. Eat knuckle, fritz."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Ugh. How disgusting. A Boche on the sole of my boot. I shall have to find a patch of grass to wipe it on. Probably get shunned in the officers' Mess; sorry about the pong you fellas, trod in a Boche and couldn't get rid of the whiff."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Do you think we could dispense from the hilarious doggie doo metaphor for a moment. I'm not a Boche, this is a British trench."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Is it? Well, that's a piece of luck. Thought I'd landed sausage side. Ha. Mind if I use your phone? If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls would kill themselves. I wouldn't want them on my conscience, not when they out to be on my face."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "All right men, let's do-oo-oo it. The first thing to remember is: always treat your kite"
  • (Lord Flasheart) "like you treat your woman."
  • (Lieutenant George) "How, how do you mean, Sir? Do you mean, do you mean take her home at weekends to meet your mother?"
  • (Lord Flasheart) "No, I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "I'm beginning to see why the suffragette movement want the vote."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Hey. Any girl who wants to chain herself to my railings and suffer a jet movement gets my vote."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Mind if I use your phone? If word gets out I'm missing, five hundred girls will kill themselves. And I wouldn't want them on my conscience, not when they ought to be on my face. Hello? Cancel the state funeral, tell the king to stop blubbing, Flash is not dead. I simply ran out of juice. And before five hundred girls all go 'oh, what's the point in living any more?' I'm talking about petrol. Woof. Send someone along to pick me up. General Melchett's driver will do, she hangs round with a big knob so she'll be used to a fellow like me. Woof."
  • (Captain Blackadder) "Look, do you think you could make your obscene phone call somewhere else?"
  • (Lord Flasheart) "No, not in half an hour you rubber desk-johnny. Send the bitch with the wheels right now or I'll fly back home and give your wife something to hang her towels on."
  • (Lord Flasheart) "Right. Let's dig out your best booze and talk about me till the car comes."

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