Penguin's Umbrella Quotes

Penguin's Umbrella is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Penguin's Umbrella ended its run in 1970.

Penguin's Umbrella Quotes

• (Oswald Cobblepot) "Yeah, that's clever enough. I never doubted your intelligence. That's not your problem."
• (Frankie Carbone) "Oh, I got a problem, huh? I got a problem. No, you got a problem. What's my problem, schmo?"
• (Oswald Cobblepot) "What drives you? What's your passion? When you know what a man loves, you know what can kill him."
• (Frankie Carbone) "Do you believe this guy?"
• (Oswald Cobblepot) "For you, it's money. You love money. More than power or respect. You're a skinflint, Mr. Carbone. A cheapskate."

• (Oswald Cobblepot) "Why do they want me back so badly?"
• (Sal Maroni) "I know why. Because they know I got a stone moneymaker here. A golden goose. They know it, and they don't want us to have him. Right, Penguin?"
• (Oswald Cobblepot) "Honk, honk."
• (Sal Maroni) "What?"
• (Oswald Cobblepot) "Honk, honk. It's what geese say."
• (Sal Maroni) "Oh, right, right. Honk, honk."
• (Frankie Carbone) "So, fine, we got a goose."

• (Oswald Cobblepot) "Mr. Falcone, indeed I have a secret of great value. I have one request: give the job of killing me to James Gordon."
• (Carmine Falcone) "Why him?"
• (Oswald Cobblepot) "He's the only man under your sway with a conscience. He can be persuaded to spare me."
• (Carmine Falcone) "Why would I agree to that? I want you dead, you're a snitch."
• (Oswald Cobblepot) "Because I will be your snitch for life. I will snitch my way into the Maroni family. I have a gift for this, I'm excellent at this kind of thing."
• (Carmine Falcone) "If the job of killing you goes to James Gordon, what is the valuable secret?"
• (Oswald Cobblepot) "Fish Mooney and Nikolai the Russian only pretend to hate each other. They're lovers. She's pushing him to take your place so she can take over from him."
• (Carmine Falcone) "Hmm -- that is a valuable secret."

• (Carmine Falcone) "Such a waste though. Gotham needs men like you. Both of you. Strong men with principles. I wish I could show you I'm not the enemy. The system is not the enemy. The enemy is anarchy. But I told you that before, didn't I, Jim?"
• (James Gordon) "Yes, you did."
• (Carmine Falcone) "You didn't listen though."
• (Harvey Bullock) "Do we get a last meal or a smoke or anything? Or just talk?"

• (Fish Mooney) "This is about tradition. Values. Snitches get stitches. That's how it's always been."

• (Butch Gilzean) "You ever been with a criminal? Some ladies find it a turn-on."

• (Harvey Bullock) "Game's over. I have to kill you, take your body to Falcone and beg for mercy."
• (James Gordon) "I know I screwed up. Don't kill me. I have a plan, help me."

• (Sal Maroni) "Um, I heard Vic Zzasz tore up the GCPD, tracking down Gordon. Did you catch him yet?"
• (Carmine Falcone) "We're working on it."
• (Sal Maroni) "Well, good luck with that. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest man, huh?"

• (Dr. Leslie Thompkins) "He wants to leave now"
• (Crispus Allen) "Okay, some clothes would be good"

• (James Gordon) "The situation is, you've been told to take me in alive, or I'd be dead already."
• (Butch Gilzean) "You know the rules, a few lumps, nobody gets hurt."
• (James Gordon) "Tell your partner to put down his gun or I'll blow his brains out."
• (Butch Gilzean) "Fine, we'll do it your way. After we kill you, we're gonna kill blondie."

• (James Gordon) "Tell Falcone we'll talk, just not today."
• (Victor Zsasz) "Why would you do that? Alive is a very broad term. Someone with no hands can be alive."
• (James Gordon) "There are fifty cops in this room, try something."
• (Victor Zsasz) "Everybody out."
• (Victor Zsasz) "Please ?"

• (James Gordon) "I promised I would find your parents' killer. I might not be able to do that. I'm in a tight spot, I've upset powerful people --"
• (Bruce Wayne) "Stop treating me like a child. Explain."
• (James Gordon) "You are a child."
• (Bruce Wayne) "You expect to die. I should at least know why. Is it connected to my parents' murder?"
• (James Gordon) "Yes, it's all connected somehow. Bruce, I will do my best to work this thing out, but if I don't, Montoya and Allen here will take over your parents' case. I've told them everything I know. You can trust them one hundred percent."
• (Crispus Allen) "One hundred percent."
• (James Gordon) "Bruce, these are good detectives. If anyone can find the truth, it's them."
• (Bruce Wayne) "Thank you."
• (Alfred Pennyworth) "Sir, what can we do to help you now?"
• (James Gordon) "Nothing. From here on in, I have to go it alone."

• (Harvey Bullock) "So I've been thinking. You're still a douche bag. But you have the moral high ground. So I'm gonna back your play, whatever it is. I figure I'm doomed anyhow. I might as well join the good guys."
• (James Gordon) "Thank you."
• (Harvey Bullock) "So what is your play? I mean, you got one, right? You said you had one."
• (James Gordon) "Tomorrow morning, I'm arresting Falcone and the mayor for the framing of Mario Pepper. Conspiracy, POJ, Rico, the works."
• (Harvey Bullock) "Well, that's a -- that's a hell of a plan. You sit there with a panel of chimpanzees and a bucket of crack and come up with that one?"
• (James Gordon) "I figure whatever else happens, we'll stir things up. We might even make the papers."
• (Harvey Bullock) "Oh, yeah, we're gonna make the papers, all right. We're gonna be dead in the streets in time for the evening edition."
• (James Gordon) "Well, at least the people will know the truth. And we'll go out doing our jobs, enforcing the law."
• (Harvey Bullock) "That's the best inspirational speech, you got? Doing our jobs?"
• (James Gordon) "You don't have to join me."
• (Harvey Bullock) "No, I'm game. Like I said, I'm doomed anyhow."

• (Sal Maroni) "Penguin. Come on out here. Don't be scared. She won't bite."
• (Sal Maroni) "You won't bite him, will you?"

• (Sarah Essen) "What the hell are you doing here?"
• (James Gordon) "I work here. It's my shift. Where else should I be?"
• (Sarah Essen) "How about Alaska? Arrest warrants? For who?"
• (James Gordon) "Mayor Aubrey James, Carmine Falcone, and their close associates. On charges of conspiracy and perversion of justice in the Wayne case."
• (Sarah Essen) "Are you insane?"
• (James Gordon) "No. Maybe a little. Feels good. They're gonna try and kill me anyway. Might as well make them pay for it."

• (Carmine Falcone) "It's almost uncanny. Everything played out exactly as you said it would. We got rid of Nikolai painlessly, and Maroni thinks you're a wizard. You really do have a gift. But I think we're making a mistake letting Gordon live. He's trouble."
• (Oswald Cobblepot) "Thank you so much for sparing him. I appreciate the favor. Don't worry. He'll see the light. One way or another, I guarantee it."

• (Fish Mooney) "Gordon must die, Bullock must die, Penguin must die today."
• (Carmine Falcone) "You're overreacting. You want to start a war over the guy who carried your umbrella?"
• (Fish Mooney) "He was on my hip every bit of the way. He knows things."
• (Carmine Falcone) "What things?"
• (Fish Mooney) "-- He knows too much."
• (Carmine Falcone) "Go to Maroni and politely ask for him back; politely."

• (Carmine Falcone) "Condemned men are honest men, I find. What can you tell me before you go?"

• (Mayor Aubrey James) "Jumping catfish."
• (James Gordon) "Good morning, Mayor James."
• (Mayor Aubrey James) "Gordon, you scared -- scared the bejebers out of me. I almost spilled my coffee."
• (James Gordon) "Sorry. Sir, you're under arrest."
• (Mayor Aubrey James) "That's not funny."
• (Harvey Bullock) "Depends where you're sitting."
• (James Gordon) "Might want to take a look at this."

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