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Paul (film) Quotes

Paul (film) is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Paul ended in 1970.

It features Nira Park; Tim Bevan; Eric Fellner as producer, David Arnold in charge of musical score, and Lawrence Sher as head of cinematography.

Paul (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom, and United States. Each episode of Paul (film) is 104 minutes long. Paul (film) is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Simon Pegg as Graeme Willy, Seth Rogen as Paul, Nick Frost as Clive Gollings, Kristen Wiig as Ruth Buggs, Sigourney Weaver as The Big Guy, Blythe Danner as Tara Walton, Bill Hader as Haggard, John Carroll Lynch as Moses Buggs, Joe Lo Truglio as O'Reilly, and Jeffrey Tambor as Adam Shadowchild.

Paul (film) Quotes

Nick Frost as Clive Gollings

  • (Agent Zoil) "Pleasure to meet you boys. You did a hell of a job."
  • (Nick Frost) "Thank you, Agent Zoil."
  • (Agent Zoil) "Please call me Lorenzo."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Lorenzo Zoil?"
  • (Nick Frost) "It's not fat, it's power."
  • (Nick Frost) "Ever since I saw "Mac and Me", I've dreamed about meeting you."
  • (Sword Vendor) "That there's the Black Vampire. Watch out. She bites."
  • (Nick Frost) "How much?"
  • (Sword Vendor) "$1349.99"
  • (Simon Pegg) "Aren't you going to get it?"
  • (Nick Frost) "Fuck that."
  • (Nick Frost) "It's ringing."
  • (Seth Rogen) "I wouldn't do that if I were you"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Put -- the phone -- down."
  • (Nick Frost) "Ha ha ha ha ha."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Aw fuck me."
  • (Simon Pegg) "What did you do to him?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "I didn't do anything to him; he fainted."
  • (Simon Pegg) "But you made him faint."
  • (Seth Rogen) "It's not like I set my phaser to faint."
  • (Simon Pegg) "You've got a phaser?"
  • (Nick Frost) "What if we wake up and find him inserting a probe into our anus?"
  • (Simon Pegg) "Well apparently they don't do that."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Anyone want one of these? Yeah? Anyone?"
  • (Nick Frost) "Get your own Alien."
  • (Nick Frost) "They're going to rape us and break our arms."
  • (Simon Pegg) "I don't want my arms broken."
  • (State Trooper) "Where are you boys from?"
  • (Nick Frost) "-- England."
  • (State Trooper) "I heard about that place: no guns."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Not many --"
  • (Nick Frost) "No, not really, just -- farmers."
  • (State Trooper) "Well how are police supposed to shoot anybody?"
  • (Simon Pegg) "Well they don't --"
  • (Nick Frost) "They- they try not to --"
  • (Gas Station Attendant) "$15.58."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Um, twenty, keep the change -- give it to charity or something."

Seth Rogen as Paul

  • (Seth Rogen) "You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Oh, we're all made in God's image?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Then how do you explain me?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "And that's Jenga."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Okay Steven, how 'bout cellular revivification?"
  • (Steven Spielberg) "I don't know what that is."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue through telepathic manipulation of intrinsic field memory."
  • (Steven Spielberg) "What's that mean?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "It means healing, Mr. Spielberg."
  • (Steven Spielberg) "Yeah right, healing. Like by touch or something like that. Like maybe his finger lights up on the end when he reaches out and touches?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Maybe -- You know, sometimes I find less is more."
  • (Steven Spielberg) "Hey, trust me."
  • (Seth Rogen) "YO. fucknuts. It's Probing time."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Are you gonna draw me like your French girls, Jack?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Bagels and coffee."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Get your goddamn hands off my motherfuckin' junk."
  • (Joe Lo Truglio) "It's in there. It's in there."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Do you guys partake?"
  • (Simon Pegg) "No. Thank you."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "I'll partake."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Are you sure? It's pretty strong shit. I get it from the military. I think this is the stuff that killed Dylan."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Bob Dylan's not dead."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Isn't he?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Hey. Reese's Pieces. Thank you."
  • (Seth Rogen) "If I get a dork infection, you're dead."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Eyes forward butt horn."
  • (Seth Rogen) "This is America. Kidnapping a Christian is worse than harboring a fugitive."

Simon Pegg as Graeme Willy

  • (Simon Pegg) "How come I can understand you? Are you using some neural language router?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Actually I'm speaking English you fucking idiot."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Whats the matter Clive?"
  • (Nick Frost) "There is an alien in the kitchen making bagels and coffee."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Did you want tea?"
  • (Nick Frost) "No, I don't want tea."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Right, because tea is weird in America."
  • (Simon Pegg) "What do you think you're gonna dream about?"
  • (Nick Frost) "Oh, the open road. High adventure. That kind of thing. You?"
  • (Simon Pegg) "Wonder woman."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Paul, what happens if you get caught?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Graeme, they are going to cut out my brain -- Yeah it's fucked -- kinda a buzz kill -- Let's lighten the mood, shall we? Clive when did you last get laid?"
  • (Nick Frost) "Uh. Collectormania London '08 -- Ewok chick."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Clive likes boning space bears."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Oh no. I really liked this T-shirt."
  • (Simon Pegg) "You are an alien."
  • (Seth Rogen) "To you I am, yes."
  • (Simon Pegg) "Are you gonna probe us?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Why does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?"

Kristen Wiig as Ruth Buggs

  • (Kristen Wiig) "Fuck-a-roo, that was the best titty-farting sleep I have ever had."
  • (Seth Rogen) "I got a feeling that you're new to cursing, Ruth? Look, cursing's fun, you just gotta pick your moments, okay?"
  • (Simon Pegg) "Hey, maybe we should stop for some food, is anybody hungry?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Fuck yeeah."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "You bet your big fat cock I am."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Nice."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "You bet your hairy love-eggs."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "So everything that I have been told my whole life, is just a big fat lie? Do you know how that feels?"
  • (Simon Pegg) "Look. Just because your truth, isn't the true truth, doesn't mean there is no truth, Ruth."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "That's easy for you to say."
  • (Simon Pegg) "It's really not."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "Sorry you got killed by my dad."
  • (Simon Pegg) "It's fine. You want to try that kiss again?"
  • (Kristen Wiig) "The world is 4000 years old and can only be the product of intelligent design."
  • (Seth Rogen) "That's horseshit."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "Well ain't that a bag of tits."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "I'm hungry. We should cook up some sausages. Do we have any sausages?"
  • (Simon Pegg) "Uhh --"
  • (Kristen Wiig) "What do you mean by that? Why do you guys hate me? Can we cook up some sausages? Ohh I have wasps in my brain."
  • (Seth Rogen) "She'll be fine. That happened to me the first time."

Joe Lo Truglio as O'Reilly

  • (Agent Zoil) "You know you're a grown man, right? Probably shave, pay taxes. Have pubic hair."
  • (Joe Lo Truglio) "All of those things."
  • (Joe Lo Truglio) "Why not four tits?"
  • (Simon Pegg) "That's just sick."

Jeffrey Tambor as Adam Shadowchild

  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "Three tits? Awesome."
  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "Well, a wise man said, "You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream.""
  • (Simon Pegg) "Who said that?"
  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "I did. I just said that."
  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "I can't read this, it's a legal thing."
  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "3 tits? That's awesome."
  • (Bill Hader) "3 tits? That's awesome."
  • (Agent Zoil) "3 tits? That's awesome."
  • (Unnamed) "3 tits? Awesome."

Sigourney Weaver as The Big Guy

  • (Sigourney Weaver) "I'm the one holding all the cards. And when I say "cards", I of course mean big fucking gun."
  • (Sigourney Weaver) "Shit, I'd shoot you now if I didn't get off on the idea of you being hog-tied and pissed on in Guantanamo Bay."
  • (Simon Pegg) "They've shut Guantanamo Bay."
  • (Sigourney Weaver) "Did they? Be honest with yourselves."
  • (Sigourney Weaver) "Haggard."
  • (Agent Zoil) "Zoil."
  • (Sigourney Weaver) "Where are the other two?"
  • (Agent Zoil) "One crashed and burned, the other just burned."
  • (Sigourney Weaver) "Jesus Christ. This has been one fuck-up after another. I should have handled this myself."
  • (Agent Zoil) "I am very close. You give me one hour."
  • (Sigourney Weaver) "An hour? I'll be eating canapès with the governor in an hour. I need this wrapped up now."
  • (Agent Zoil) "No, no. They're mine, damn it. I'm gonna finish this, once and for all."
  • (Sigourney Weaver) "Too late, Zoil. I'm bringing in the big gun --"
  • (Agent Zoil) "Boring conversation anyway."
  • (Sigourney Weaver) "Shit, the little fucker's probably gonna phone home or something."

Bill Hader as Haggard

  • (Bill Hader) "What is this, nerd porn?"
  • (Simon Pegg) "Oh, no, that's Clive's --"
  • (Nick Frost) "It's my novel."
  • (Bill Hader) "Ha. Three tits."
  • (Joe Lo Truglio) "That's awesome. You guys should have given her four tits."
  • (Simon Pegg) "That's just sick."
  • (Joe Lo Truglio) "I was just sayin' --"

Blythe Danner as Tara Walton

  • (Blythe Danner) "My weed."
  • (Blythe Danner) "Get away from her, you bitch."
  • (Blythe Danner) "But I don't have my toothbrush."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Toothbrush? Baby, where we're going, you don't need teeth."

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