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Old School (film) Quotes

Old School (film) is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Old School stopped airing in 1970.

It features Daniel Goldberg (producer) as producer, Theodore Shapiro (composer) in charge of musical score, and Mark Irwin as head of cinematography.

Old School (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Old School (film) is 91 minutes long. Old School (film) is distributed by DreamWorks Pictures.

The cast includes: Luke Wilson as Mitch Martin, Luke Wilson as Mitch, Vince Vaughn as Beanie, Will Ferrell as Frank, Rick Gonzalez as Spanish, Patrick Cranshaw as Blue, Seann William Scott as Peppers, Perrey Reeves as Marissa, Jerod Mixon as Weensie, Jeremy Piven as Dean Pritchard, Juliette Lewis as Heidi, Ashley Jones as Waiter, Ellen Pompeo as Nicole, Todd Phillips as Gang Bang Guy, Simon Helberg as Jerry, Sara Tanaka as Megan Huang, Artie Lange as Booker, Craig Kilborn as Mark, and Leah Remini as Lara Campbell.

Old School (film) Quotes

Luke Wilson as Mitch Martin

  • (Luke Wilson) "At this point, you may be asking yourself, why am I holding this 30 pound cinderblock in my hands? You might also ask yourself, why does this cinderblock have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "And the answer, ladies -- is trust."
  • (Luke Wilson) "Denver? The sunshine state? Gorgeous."
  • (Luke Wilson) "Please be honest with me. Tell me this is the first time this has ever happened."
  • (Juliette Lewis) "Well, do you want me to be honest or do you want me to tell you this is the first time?"
  • (Luke Wilson) "A professor lived here for like thirty years and died."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "That's awesome."
  • (Luke Wilson) "I wasn't looking for a girl like that."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Well, Columbus wasn't looking for America, my man, but that turned out to be pretty okay for everyone."
  • (Luke Wilson) "Wow. Cheese. Is that you?"
  • (Jeremy Piven) "Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Who's this guy?"
  • (Luke Wilson) "Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?"
  • (Jeremy Piven) "Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?"
  • (Jeremy Piven) "Yea, I got out."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Cool man. Good. Glad you did."
  • (Luke Wilson) "This is my house. I live here, Beanie. I'm 30 years old. None of us are enrolled in the college."
  • (Luke Wilson) "Who's this guy?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Oh, that's Blue. An old navy vet who hangs around my store a lot. Don't worry. He's legit."
  • (Luke Wilson) "He looks like he's one hundred years old and he wants to pledge?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "You kidding me? Old man river can't shut up about it."
  • (Luke Wilson) "All I want to do is get some f***ing sleep."
  • (Luke Wilson) "True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a god**** magic show ready to double team your girlfriend --"
  • (Luke Wilson) "Beanie, you remember, Cheese."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Oh, yeah. Cheeeeese -- Didn't we lock you in the dumpster one time?"
  • (Jeremy Piven) "I got out."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Cool, man."
  • (Luke Wilson) "You don't understand me Beanie, it's sexual harassment. I mean I could go to jail for this."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "For what? Being Awesome? Besides Mitch, how old did you say this girl was, 17 years old? Mitch, that's a total grey area."
  • (Luke Wilson) "It's a total felony."

Vince Vaughn as Beanie

  • (Vince Vaughn) "You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hangout with nineteen-year-old girls everyday?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Well why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Girls love a guy who's in your situation."
  • (Luke Wilson) "What situation?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Mitch. You're on the rebound. You're like an injured young fawn who's been nursed back to health and is finally going to be released back into the wilderness."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Can you do me a favor and tell Mitch it's perfectly okay to have sex with a 17-year-old?"
  • (Leah Remini) "Oh, yeah. It's fine, if you're 18 or you live in Louisiana."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "No. That's a piece of crap. We stopped selling that six months ago. Nice gesture, though."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Because this is a very big idea, my friends. We're talking about a non-exclusive egalitarian brotherhood where community status and, more importantly, age have bearing whatsoever."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three-and-a-half-million dollars that the government knows about. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. Tou think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a f***ing marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "He's playing hardball. And I got to admit. I'm impressed."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Don't say sorry to me. You let down Frank. You let down me. Most importantly, you let down Max. And right about now I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why I take time out of my schedule to help you get over --"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Max, can you earmuff it for me?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "That whore you dated."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Don't say sorry to me, Frank. Say it to the baby."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Sorry, baby."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Good luck to everybody. Nice to know you all and I'll see you around campus."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "What about Mitch here? He saw the wheels come off his life, guys. His whole world crumbled. Now he's the Godfather."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah, from the guy who probably won't get in."
  • (Simon Helberg) "I go to school here --"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Okay --"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "I have a wife and kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frank?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "I know a really good sand guy."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Who'se lives are ruined?"
  • (Luke Wilson) "Well, see. Blue's dead. Frank's divorced. I lost my house. Nicole thinks I'm a total jackass. And now we got nine kids who are gonna get expelled from school, and you're not even gonna help them."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Mitch is a lawyer, buddy. He'll find a way out for us."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Whose life is ruined?"
  • (Luke Wilson) "Let's see. Blue's dead. Frank's divorced. I've lost my house. Nicole thinks I'm a total jackass. And we got nine kids who are gonna get expelled from school and you're not even gonna help them out."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Frank here was staring at a white picket fence. Now he's single, he's broke, and has second-degree burns all over his body. And I see a spark in his eye that I haven't seen in fifteen years."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "I'd like to welcome you all to the Mitch Martin Freedom Festival. Now for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful, very disease-free gentleman standing by the mini-bar. Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm welcome Harrison welcome to my pal and your favorite, Snoop Dogg."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Spanish, what the hell are you doing?"
  • (Rick Gonzalez) "I'm just going to get some water. This suit is crazy hot, yo."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Put your head back on. That can be very traumatic for the kids."
  • (Rick Gonzalez) "You're right, I'm sorry, sir."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Don't sorry me, babe. And shake the tail when you walk. You're better than that."

Will Ferrell as Frank

  • (Will Ferrell) "I see Blue, He looks glorious."
  • (Will Ferrell) "I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time."
  • (Unnamed) "A big day? Doing what?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time."
  • (Will Ferrell) "In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds and pushing 89 years of age and the recent recipient of a brand new plastic hip, Joseph "Blue" Polaski."
  • (Will Ferrell) "So what do you guys like better? Nurse or cheerleader? Oh, hi Nicole. Have fun at the wedding?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "SNOOP. SNOOP-A-LOOP."
  • (Will Ferrell) "You're my boy, Blue. You're my boy."
  • (Seann William Scott) "This guy was French kissing me"
  • (Will Ferrell) "Blue's over there. But he's wasted."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Yea, I'm cool either way. I just have to run it by Marissa."
  • (Will Ferrell) "I'm messing with you guys."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Not funny. Not funny. And now the baby is upset."
  • (Will Ferrell) "All we are is dust in the wind --"
  • (Will Ferrell) "Are you sure you're ok with this, Blue?"
  • (Patrick Cranshaw) "Just ring the f***ing bell, you pansy."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Don't worry. The pledges will clean it up."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Spanish. Do you trust that we have provided you with enough rope so that your cinderblock will fall safely to the ground?"
  • (Rick Gonzalez) "Y-Yes, sir."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Blue, do you trust that I do not want to see you die here tonight?"
  • (Patrick Cranshaw) "Yes, sir."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Blue, you're my boy."
  • (Patrick Cranshaw) "Thank you, sir."
  • (Will Ferrell) "No it's cool, man, bring your green hat."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Fill it up again. Fill it up again. Once it hits your lips, it's so good."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Jerry, are you a statistics major or something?"
  • (Simon Helberg) "Actually I am. Minoring in Hebrew science."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Well, I didn't know that. Because you didn't tell me. Now I look like a jackass."
  • (Will Ferrell) "I just wanna tell you guys thanks for being here. Best day ever."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Frank, you need to walk away from this right now."
  • (Will Ferrell) "That's how you do it. That's how you debate."
  • (Therapist) "Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling -- what? What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "Actually, I'd like to jump in and take that one, Jimmy, if you don't mind."
  • (Unnamed) "Have at it, hoss."
  • (Will Ferrell) "You know I was thinking we could go back home -- have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD -- no? Weren't thinking that? Ok."
  • (Will Ferrell) "What do you think, Max? It's got three speeds."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Hey, I just want to thank you one last time for being here. It's the best day ever."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Don't even start with me, Franklin, okay? You need to walk away from this ASAP."
  • (Will Ferrell) "What?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "You need to get out, Frankie. This is it. It's now or never. You need to get out of here while you're still single."
  • (Will Ferrell) "I'm not single."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "She's 30 yards away, you're single now."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Come on, Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Why don't you give that six months. You don't think that'll change? I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "There's my wife. See that? Always smiling? Hi, honey. Judging, watching, "Look at the baby.""
  • (Luke Wilson) "She's coming down the aisle, Beanie. Let it go."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Honey, you think KFC is still open?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "We're going streaking."
  • (Will Ferrell) "A little housewarming gift."
  • (Luke Wilson) "I actually gave this to you for your wedding."
  • (Will Ferrell) "This model?"
  • (Luke Wilson) "That exact one."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Blue, how come there's no ice in my lemonade?"
  • (Patrick Cranshaw) "Sorry, sir."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Drop down and give me ten. Now."
  • (Patrick Cranshaw) "Yes, sir."
  • (Will Ferrell) "I had an awesome time."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "I know that you had an awesome time. I think the entire town knows you had an awesome time."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "And wouldn't you want those times to keep on going?"

Craig Kilborn as Mark

  • (Craig Kilborn) "What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't, buddy. It's guy code. That's something chicks do. You're not a chick, are you? OK. Good talk. I'll see you out there."

Ashley Jones as Waiter

  • (Ashley Jones) "And don't worry. For the Godfather, it's always on the house."
  • (Ashley Jones) "You are beautiful. But no offense, he, he is the king. You are having pie and coffee with a living legend."
  • (Ashley Jones) "Love, it's a motherf***er, huh?"

Perrey Reeves as Marissa

  • (Perrey Reeves) "Frank, what are you doing?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "We're -- We're going streaking. We're going up the quad and to the gymnasium."
  • (Perrey Reeves) "Who is?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "Th -- W -- There's more coming."
  • (Perrey Reeves) "Frank, get in the car."
  • (Will Ferrell) "But -- everybody's doing it."
  • (Perrey Reeves) "Frank. Now."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Ok."
  • (Perrey Reeves) "Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you on your birthday."
  • (Will Ferrell) "My birthday? What do you mean?"
  • (Perrey Reeves) "Yeah, last Thursday. Oh, you forgot your birthday, didn't you, Frank?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "Damn it. I'm such an idiot."
  • (Perrey Reeves) "Just as long as you promise to take it easy."
  • (Will Ferrell) "What do you mean?"
  • (Perrey Reeves) "You know exactly what I mean. You've come a long way since Frank the Tank and we don't want him coming back, do we?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "Honey, Frank the Tank is not coming back, OK? That part of me is over. Water under the bridge. I promise."
  • (Perrey Reeves) "That's really, loud."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Yeah, thanks. Took the restrictor plate off to give the Red Dragon a little more juice. But it's not exactly street legal, so keep it on the down low."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Hey Mike."

Artie Lange as Booker

  • (Artie Lange) "We've been waiting all semester for you to ask us."

Rick Gonzalez as Spanish

  • (Rick Gonzalez) "Damn, I gonna end up workin' at Red Lobster."
  • (Unnamed) "You already work at Red Lobster."
  • (Rick Gonzalez) "Yea, but its part-time -- dick."

Simon Helberg as Jerry

  • (Simon Helberg) "That was great."
  • (Will Ferrell) "What happened? I blacked out."
  • (Simon Helberg) "What sort of actual association will you have with the university?"
  • (Luke Wilson) "Who are these people?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "I don't know."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Well, legally speaking, there will be a loose affiliation. But, we will give nothing back to the academic community. As well as provide no public service of any kind. This much I promise you."

Jerod Mixon as Weensie

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Seann William Scott as Peppers

  • (Seann William Scott) "You should pull that out."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Wait, pull what out?"
  • (Seann William Scott) "The dart. You gotta f***ing dart in your neck."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Y-You're crazy, man. You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy."

Jeremy Piven as Dean Pritchard

  • (Jeremy Piven) "Listen, Chang."
  • (Sara Tanaka) "It's Huang."
  • (Jeremy Piven) "Whatever."
  • (Jeremy Piven) "Ladies and gentleman, please welcome, the co-host of CNN's Crossfire, famed political consultant, the raging Cajun, Mr. James Carville."
  • (Unnamed) "Thank you, Thank you, Dean Pritchard. It's an honor and a pleasure to be here, sir."
  • (Jeremy Piven) "Topic number one. What is your position on the role of government in supporting innovation in the field of biotechnology?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well, Dean, I'm, I'm glad that you asked that question --"
  • (Will Ferrell) "Uhhh -- Actually, I'd like to jump in and take that one, Jimmy, If you don't mind."
  • (Unnamed) "Have at it, Hoss."
  • (Will Ferrell) "Recent research has shown that empirical evidence for globalization of corporate innovation is very limited and as a corollary the market for technologies is shrinking. As a world leader, it's important for America to provide systematic research grants for our scientists. I believe strongly there will always be a need for us to have a well-articulated innovation policy with emphasis on human resource development. Thank you."
  • (Will Ferrell) "What happened? I blacked out"
  • (Jeremy Piven) "That was interesting. ha ha. Thank you very much. And, uh, your rebuttal? Mr. Carville."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh -- It -- We -- have no response. That was perfect."
  • (Will Ferrell) "That's the way you do it. That's the way you debate."

Ellen Pompeo as Nicole

  • (Ellen Pompeo) "I heard one of your pledges died. Is that true?"
  • (Luke Wilson) "Well, yes, but Blue was really old. And I feel pretty confident when we get the autopsy back it'll say natural causes."

Todd Phillips as Gang Bang Guy

  • (Todd Phillips) "Hello."
  • (Luke Wilson) "Yeah?"
  • (Todd Phillips) "I'm here for the gangbang --"

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