Numbers (season 1) Quotes

Numbers is a television show that first aired in 2005 on CBS. Numbers stopped airing in 2005.

Numbers lasted 13 episodes.

Numbers Quotes

• (Unnamed) "Three, two, one; execute."

• (Unnamed) "You know that it's considered unsolvable?"
• (Unnamed) "Well, certainly people who have failed to solve it might think that."

• (Unnamed) "Aren't you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?"
• (Unnamed) "You've met her before, she's not my girlfriend, I'm her thesis advisor."
• (Unnamed) "Does that mean she can't be your girlfriend?"
• (Unnamed) "It's, uh, it's against the rules."
• (Unnamed) "Well, screw the rules. What's more important, learning or love? Well, I'm sure there's no rule against the father of her thesis advisor asking her out."
• (Unnamed) "Go for it, go right ahead, be my guest."
• (Unnamed) "Thank you. Actually, I'm spoken for, Mr. Eppes."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, really?"
• (Unnamed) "Back in Madras, my parents arranged for marriage to a family friend, a nice Hindu banker from Goa."
• (Unnamed) "Really? Getting married?"
• (Unnamed) "God, no, he's a total ass."
• (Unnamed) "Oh."
• (Unnamed) "Dad, you're, like, hovering over us, and we have so much work to do."
• (Unnamed) "I thought you already helped your brother out on this case."
• (Unnamed) "Something this complex needed to be checked and rechecked."
• (Unnamed) "There's one thing you and your brother have in common: On some things, you're both very thorough; other stuff, you completely miss."

• (Unnamed) "Dad, sorry, we gotta go."
• (Unnamed) "Sure, right. Couldn't get any worse."
• (Unnamed) "Listen: alcohol. Lots of alcohol."
• (Unnamed) "For who?"

• (Unnamed) "Look, please don't do this."
• (Unnamed) "Don't do what, Don? Go ahead. Go ahead and try to tell me what it is that I'm doing. You don't even know what it is I'm doing."
• (Unnamed) "Actually, I do. The thing is, I don't think you do."
• (Unnamed) "Okay, I'm going to go contemplate the koi pond."
• (Unnamed) "Charlie, look, you helped us find these guys once before. You can do it again. Come on."
• (Unnamed) "Why, so you can get shot again?"
• (Unnamed) "No, buddy, look. Understand, I appreciate you care about me, but it's not going to happen."
• (Unnamed) "Statistically, you're dead now. You understand what that means? A man aimed a gun at your head and fired. The fact that you survived is an anomaly, and it's unlikely to be the outcome of a second such encounter."

• (Unnamed) "You assaulted a federal agent with a deadly weapon."
• (Unnamed) "It was a Volkswagen."

• (Unnamed) "So, about your dream?"
• (Unnamed) "Dad got shot. It was during a holdup, at the deli. It was -- pretty upsetting."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, I'm sure --"
• (Unnamed) "And -- mom made pancakes."
• (Unnamed) "Pancakes?"
• (Unnamed) "I don't even dream normal --"

• (Unnamed) "Colonel in Special Ops said he was the bastard son of Clint Eastwood and Yoda."

• (Unnamed) "You see this game, Larry? You've got to clear the mines without blowing any up. Each time you clear a square, a numerical value is revealed. That number tells you exactly how many squares containing mines are directly adjacent to that square. This allows you to predict where the next mine will be located and then the more boxes revealed the more accurately one can predict the location of the mines. The pattern used in these bank robberies is similar to this kind of problem-solving pattern. These robbers have used the banks they've been robbing to tell them which ones to rob next."

• (Unnamed) "Guy was a pompous ass."

• (Unnamed) "Who made this?"
• (Unnamed) "Me. Why?"
• (Unnamed) "Well, wings are a little thin here, buddy."
• (Unnamed) "Hey, wait, wait, let me see this."
• (Unnamed) "Forgive me if all my years of advanced applied mathematics take issue with that assessment."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, well, you'll forgive me if all my years of high school detention say I'm right."

• (Unnamed) "Don't call me Chuck."
• (Unnamed) "What if I called you 'chuckie'?"
• (Unnamed) "What if I called you 'Donald'?"
• (Unnamed) "What if I called you 'nerd'?"

• (Unnamed) "Please, understand, sometimes I can't choose what I work on. I can't follow through on a line of thinking just because I want to, or, or because it's needed. I have to work on what's in my head. And right now, this is what's in my head."

• (Unnamed) "Charlie, where did you learn all this stuff about assassination?"
• (Unnamed) "If I told you that I'd have to kill you."
• (Unnamed) "Okay, seriously."
• (Unnamed) "Seriously."

• (Unnamed) "You know, here's a discussion: Why is it that we remember the past and not the future?"
• (Unnamed) "That's a tough one, Larry."

• (Unnamed) "You know, Don and Charlie, they graduated high school on the same day."
• (Unnamed) "Thank you. Don's mentioned it. A few times."
• (Unnamed) "Kind of puts an edge on that sibling rivalry thing, you know."
• (Unnamed) "I'm sure it does. Having a kid like Charlie had to put some unusual pressure on the family. How old was he when you first realized he was exceptional?"
• (Unnamed) "He was three when he multiplied four-digit numbers in his head. By the age of four, he needed special teachers, special classes. My wife; I mean, his mother and I, we put a lot of time into his education. It was Don who was the one who had to get used to taking care of himself."
• (Unnamed) "Well, he might have gotten used to it, but I'm not sure he's as good at it as he thinks he is."
• (Unnamed) "Well, it's hard for him to ask anyone for help. And it's really hard for him to ask Charlie."

• (Unnamed) "Larry, something went wrong, and I don't know what, and now it's like I can't even think."
• (Unnamed) "Well, let me guess: you tried to solve a problem involving human behavior, and it blew up in your face."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, pretty much."
• (Unnamed) "Okay, well, Charles, you are a mathematician, you're always looking for the elegant solution. Human behavior is rarely, if ever, elegant. The universe is full of these odd bumps and twists. You know, perhaps you need to make your equation less elegant, more complicated; less precise, more descriptive. It's not going to be as pretty, but it might work a little bit better. Charlie, when you're working on human problems, there's going to be pain and disappointment. You gotta ask yourself, is it worth it?"

• (Unnamed) "It's from someone who says she's a fan of my work on low dimensional topology. And she's a fan of my -- hair."

• (Unnamed) "Hey, Dad. What are you doing here?"
• (Unnamed) "Well, I-I like coming whenever Charlie gives one of these math-for-dummies lectures. It's the only time I actually understand what he's talking about."

• (Unnamed) "You know, this isn't the first time I've received a love letter. When I published my first article in the American Journal of Mathematics I was invited to spend the weekend at a bed and breakfast in Santa Barbara."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah? Did you go?"
• (Unnamed) "Ah, I was fourteen. My mother had to break the news to a very embarrassed female professor at Berkley."

• (Unnamed) "In twenty years of teaching, I have never received evaluation comments like these. Boring; me. Intellectually, uh, inaccessible."
• (Unnamed) "I thought we came up on this hike to get your mind off this ridiculous thing."
• (Unnamed) "I mean, one-one student even said I'm out of touch in cutting-edge thinking in multidimensional theory. That one alone kept me up at night."
• (Unnamed) "Everybody gets bad evaluations now and then, come on."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, yeah, says the professor who never received less than a rave."
• (Unnamed) "As with any large group, there are responses that cover the entire spectrum. I once had a girl in my combinatorics seminar tell me that I was disorganized and I taught too fast."
• (Unnamed) "That's an accurate observation, actually."

• (Unnamed) "Ah, I'm just a little nervous."
• (Unnamed) "Don't worry-everything looks wonderful. In fact, your son could learn a few things from you. Know where we went on our first date?"
• (Unnamed) "All right, all right, all right, all right."
• (Unnamed) "The laundromat. Dinner was pizza."
• (Unnamed) "A little professionalism --"
• (Unnamed) "You don't say -- How interesting."

• (Unnamed) "Why do they want pictures of us?"
• (Unnamed) "Just -- "Calls back" He's a famous mathematician."
• (Unnamed) "Don't do that."
• (Unnamed) "Hey, get your vogue on, Charlie."

• (Unnamed) "Everything is numbers."

• (Unnamed) "What are you doing here?"
• (Unnamed) "Hey. Well, I'm ready to party like it's 1899."

• (Unnamed) "Checkmate."
• (Unnamed) "Checkmate."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, yeah, I see. You guys are ganging up on me, huh? You did that on purpose, that little distraction thing."

• (Unnamed) "I guess I was inspired by Mr. Heisenberg, just like Charlie here suggested."
• (Unnamed) "Heisenberg? What do you mean, the physicist?"
• (Unnamed) "Yeah."
• (Unnamed) "Oh. Your brother goes into a dangerous confrontation with heavily armed felons, and you prepare him with a lecture on the movement of subatomic particles?"
• (Unnamed) "Yep. It worked, didn't it?"

• (Unnamed) "So what does all your behavioral science training tell you about a grown man who still lives with his mother?"
• (Unnamed) "Probably about the same as two brothers still mooching meals at their dad's house three nights a week."

• (Unnamed) "When we're working together, we talk and we laugh, and there's? an energy. And I don't understand why that doesn't work outside the office. Why don't we have anything else to talk about?"
• (Unnamed) "You know, you're making an underlying assumption here that I question."
• (Unnamed) "What's that?"
• (Unnamed) "That there's something else you have to talk about. See, when you see two people unable to talk about politics or movies --"
• (Unnamed) "Hey, movies, I; I can; I can talk about; I just saw the penguin movie."
• (Unnamed) "I see two extraordinary minds that can communicate on the purest level a man and woman can interface on."
• (Unnamed) "Okay, second purest."
• (Unnamed) "Geek love."
• (Unnamed) "Hey, no better kind."

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