Not Only But Always Quotes

Not Only But Always is a television show that debuted in 2004 on Channel 4. Not Only But Always ended its run in 1970.

Not Only But Always is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Not Only But Always is 100 min long.

The cast includes: Rhys Ifans as Peter Cook, Aidan McArdle as Dudley Moore, Jodie Rimmer as Wendy Snowden, and Alan Cox as Alan Bennett.

Not Only But Always Quotes

Jodie Rimmer as Wendy Snowden

• (Jodie Rimmer) "You used to take the piss out of me. When we met, I loved it. Then I grew to hate it. So why do I miss it?"
• (Rhys Ifans) "I'm sorry?"
• (Jodie Rimmer) "When a man is bored with his marriage he's supposed to get rude and sullen. You just get increasingly polite."
• (Rhys Ifans) "What are you talking about?"
• (Jodie Rimmer) "That bloody look on your face."
• (Rhys Ifans) "I haven't got a look on my face?"
• (Jodie Rimmer) "That's the face I'm talking about. The one without a look on it."

• (Jodie Rimmer) "Everything happens for a purpose. Go with the flow."
• (Rhys Ifans) "I've enjoyed the plughole immensely. I can't wait for the drain."
• (Jodie Rimmer) "It's really weird that this has happened when it has. I'm pregnant."
• (Aidan McArdle) "I think that was the U-bend, Pete."

Alan Cox as Alan Bennett

• (Alan Cox) "They wanted a glowing accolade. But I said "No. I'll do an amusing anecdote"; because glowing accolades tend to sound so insincere."
• (Rhys Ifans) "-- Especially when they are."

Aidan McArdle as Dudley Moore

• (Aidan McArdle) "Is my entire contribution to this show going to consist of my humiliating myself?"
• (Rhys Ifans) "No, Dudley. We'll do that for you."
• (Aidan McArdle) "Thank you. I wouldn't want to be appreciated or anything."
• (Rhys Ifans) "Well, we initially tried looking up to you, Dudley -- but when we did, we invariably found ourselves looking down."

• (Aidan McArdle) "Would you like some cocaine on that?"

• (Aidan McArdle) "You have a generous heart."
• (Rhys Ifans) "I do have a generous heart. I have a very generous heart. I recently caught it trying to give my liver to a wino."

• (Aidan McArdle) "Quiet, isn't it. Hardly any traffic, and a surprising absence of sarcasm."
• (Rhys Ifans) "The crows do a nice line in withering irony. I trained them myself. But they lack the wit for true satire. Incessant derision is all they manage, really."

• (Aidan McArdle) "Pete --"
• (Unnamed) "Sir, step behind the yellow line please, sir."
• (Aidan McArdle) "Eh, sorry --"
• (Rhys Ifans) "Be careful, Vladimir, Don't blow your cover."

• (Aidan McArdle) "Are you allergic to compassion?"
• (Rhys Ifans) "Only in suppository form."

Rhys Ifans as Peter Cook

• (Rhys Ifans) "If you do decide to come on stage, Dudley, make sure you take her off your penis first."

• (Rhys Ifans) "Alcoholics need a drink first and last thing. I need oral sex and a cigarette. Which means I'm not an alcoholic."
• (Unnamed) "I'm not going to sleep with you."
• (Rhys Ifans) "But you see it would enable me to distinguish you from the cleaner."

• (Rhys Ifans) "The BBC want another series."
• (Aidan McArdle) "Oh good. I'll make it up, you write it down, take all the money, take all the credit, then turn up drunk, and I'll make it all up again."

• (Rhys Ifans) "I don't know why you bother. I don't know why you waste so much time on the piano. On your life history, what star sign she is, read her f***ing palm. The secret of success with women, Dudley, is to tell them they're dirty, f***ing cows, and stupid to boot, always does the trick."
• (Aidan McArdle) "That's a technique I've never actually tried."
• (Rhys Ifans) "It'd save a lot of time."

• (Unnamed) "Sorry, sir. The club's full."
• (Unnamed) "But I have an invitation. Do you know who I am?"
• (Rhys Ifans) "Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. May I have everyone's attention for a moment? This gentleman doesn't seem to know who he is. If anyone here recognises this man, can you come to the front of the queue and tell him his name."
• (Unnamed) "f*** you."
• (Rhys Ifans) "You'll have to queue for that, too, I'm afraid, sir. There's a £5 waiting list."

• (Rhys Ifans) "Hello, mother."
• (Aidan McArdle) "Hello, son."
• (Rhys Ifans) "Did you go to the Pope's funeral?"
• (Aidan McArdle) "Yeah, I did. It was lovely."
• (Rhys Ifans) "The way they laid out the Pope was beautiful."
• (Aidan McArdle) "Oh yes, son."
• (Rhys Ifans) "Looking at that dead Pope gave me the horn."
• (Aidan McArdle) "No."
• (Rhys Ifans) "Yeah, I got so horny seeing him lying in state, I had to have a wank."
• (Rhys Ifans) "Yeah. I came all over the Pope; right across his face."

• (Rhys Ifans) "Madam, direct me to your least attractive whore, double the usual price, I wish to indulge in some extreme sado-masochism."

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