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No Such Thing as Vampires Quotes

No Such Thing as Vampires is a television program that debuted in 1970 . No Such Thing as Vampires completed its run in 1970.

No Such Thing as Vampires Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "You seriously drink this stuff? What is it, like, non-fat, soy, vegan blood?"
  • (Unnamed) "If you don't like it --"
  • (Unnamed) "I didn't say that."
  • (Unnamed) "Are you sure?"
  • (Unnamed) "Get outta here."
  • (Unnamed) "Do I know you?"
  • (Unnamed) "You tell me."
  • (Unnamed) "You're a cop. Right?"
  • (Unnamed) "No."
  • (Unnamed) "Reporter?"
  • (Unnamed) "Nope."
  • (Unnamed) "We've met before. You look very familiar."
  • (Unnamed) "Well maybe I've just got one of those faces."
  • (Unnamed) "Sixty years is a long time to deny yourself the touch of another, but you do it. Because you just can't bear the thought of seeing yourself as a monster in someone else's eyes."
  • (Unnamed) "Stop doing that."
  • (Unnamed) "Right. Blood cult. So, we're talking vampires?"
  • (Unnamed) "I know -- they don't exist. But something has to explain all the killing and the Gotharama around here, I mean, obviously she had a thing for vampires."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, I guess they're back in style."
  • (Unnamed) "You know, some people actually find them attractive?"
  • (Unnamed) "Really?"
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah."
  • (Unnamed) "You seriously drink this stuff? What is it like nonfat soy vegan blood?"
  • (Unnamed) "You don't like it --"
  • (Unnamed) "I never said that."
  • (Unnamed) "You sure?"
  • (Unnamed) "Get outta here."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, you have a soft spot for the mortal ones. A fascination with all the charming things they do while listening to the tick tick tick of their own looming demise, that's fine, that's good. Everyone needs a hobby."
  • (Unnamed) "So, tell me something, professor. Do the salutary effects kick in before, or after, the sex with your students?"
  • (Unnamed) "I am a vampire."
  • (Unnamed) "Really."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, not in the way most commonly portrayed in dime-store novels. When most people hear the word "vampire" they immediately conjure up an image of some undead monstrosity running around at night trying to drink human blood --"
  • (Unnamed) "Now I know you have morals and scruples, and that's fine-sort of."
  • (Unnamed) "Well you, my friend, must get her to stop."
  • (Unnamed) "What d'you mean? Like she's driving along and suddenly her car explodes?"
  • (Unnamed) "I was thinking of you ask her nicely, but -- fielder's choice."
  • (Unnamed) "Sometimes the past doesn't just catch up with you. It haunts you. Makes you think about the choices. On that night 22 years ago, I followed a trail, found the girl. And came face-to-face with the woman who'd made me a monster. Coroline."
  • (Unnamed) "We're on the same side."
  • (Unnamed) "Sorry. I'm not questioning your loyalties."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, good."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, vampire solidarity. Ra ra ra and all that."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, and don't forget. I'm your only friend who doesn't like you just for your money."
  • (Unnamed) "That's true. Sad, but true."
  • (Unnamed) "You seriously drink this stuff? What is it, like, non-fat, soy, vegan blood?"
  • (Unnamed) "If you don't like it --"
  • (Unnamed) "I didn't say that."
  • (Unnamed) "Are you sure?"
  • (Unnamed) "Get outta here."
  • (Unnamed) "Forever is a long time with an ex-wife like mine."
  • (Unnamed) "When most people hear the word vampire, they immediately conjure up an image of some undead monstrosity running around at night trying to drink human blood."
  • (Unnamed) "I hate that."
  • (Unnamed) "Vampire solidarity. Rah rah rah, and all that."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, and don't forget. I'm your only friend who doesn't like you just for your money."
  • (Unnamed) "True. Sad but true."
  • (Unnamed) "Somewhere in the city a killer is loose. Josef wants me to hunt him to keep our secret safe. I just wanna make sure he doesn't do it again. You don't have to be a vampire to get a taste for blood."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey look. I know you have morals and scruples and that's fine, sort of."
  • (Unnamed) "It's about time you got back."
  • (Unnamed) "Make yourself at home."
  • (Unnamed) "I did. I poured myself a drink. You seriously drink this stuff? What is it? Like not-fat, soy, vegan blood?"
  • (Unnamed) "Forever is a long time with an ex-wife like mine."
  • (Unnamed) "Why haven't you killed him?"
  • (Unnamed) "There's more than one suspect, Josef."
  • (Unnamed) "So kill them all. That's what I would do."
  • (Unnamed) "The killer's not a vampire, Josef."
  • (Unnamed) "There were bite marks."
  • (Unnamed) "Two stab wounds."
  • (Unnamed) "What, and the blood?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well, you hit an artery, you're bound to get some of that."
  • (Unnamed) "So you're telling me some poser wannabe drinking blood out of a Snoop Dogg chalice is behind this?"
  • (Unnamed) "Mmm. Hate that."

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