New Girl Quotes

New Girl is a Sitcom that appeared on TV in 2011 on Fox Broadcasting Company. New Girl completed its run in 2018.

New Girl was on for 7 seasons. It features Zooey Deschanel, Erin O'Malley, Pavun Shetty, Luvh Rakhe, Dana Fox, David Iserson, Ryan Koh, Megan Mascena Gaspar, Rachel Axler, Alex Cuthbertson, Matt Fusfeld, Kim Rosenstock, and Bari Halle as producer, Michael Andrews, Zooey Deschanel, Elizabeth Meriwether, Dave Finkel, and Brett Baer as theme composer, and Ludwig Göransson as composer. New Girl is executive produced by Elizabeth Meriwether, Jake Kasdan, Peter Chernin, Katherine Pope, Dave Finkel, and Brett Baer. New Girl is created by Elizabeth Meriwether.

New Girl is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of New Girl is 21-24 minutes long. New Girl is produced by Elizabeth Meriwether, Dave Finkel Brett Baer, Chernin Entertainment, and 20th Century Fox Television and distributed by 20th Television.

The cast includes: Zooey Deschanel as Jess, Max Greenfield as Schmidt, and Hannah Simone as Cece.

New Girl Quotes

Zooey Deschanel as Jess

• (Winston Bishop) "Why are you standing like that?"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "I always stand like this."
• (Winston Bishop) "I've never seen you stand like that."

• (Nick Miller) "Jess has absolutely lost her mind."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "I have not lost my mind. I'm just scared."
• (Nick Miller) "Would you trust me? You're gonna be fine. You're gonna meet somebody and fall in love and then before you know it you're gonna"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "With who, Nick? Who's gonna lay a flag down on this sweet, sweet continent?"
• (Max Greenfield) "I'll man up. But I must warn you, Jess; I don't have sperms. I have tadpoles. Of the gods. And I'm gonna give 'em to you. You can have 'em all for all I care. That's how much I love you. I feel your pain in this situation. I want you to have babies. Take my sperms."
• (Winston Bishop) "No. It should be me, Jess."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "What?"
• (Winston Bishop) "With your big, beautiful blue eyes and my Blair Underwood-like skin, we'd have the most beautiful baby the world has ever seen."
• (Max Greenfield) "He's not wrong. It could get into any school it wants."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "To be clear, I haven't asked any of you to impregnate me. I think it's important that's been said."
• (Nick Miller) "Good. 'Cause it's definitely not me."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Cause it's definitely not you."
• (Nick Miller) "I would love that little baby with all my heart. Even if I did show it by picking him up from school in my underwear and hitting on the crossing guard."

• (Zooey Deschanel) "Schmidt. Hey. My best friend? You Long Island street trash."
• (Max Greenfield) "Dammit, Nick. You told her?"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "No he didn't tell me. I-I happened upon it."
• (Max Greenfield) "Oh, you happened upon it? Where, in the town square?"
• (Nick Miller) "Jess, I swear I never wanted to be involved in this. You're so pretty."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Put your freaking visor down."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Now you will tell Cece or I will, you -- you crumb bum."
• (Max Greenfield) "Jess --"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "You crumb bum."
• (Max Greenfield) "Yes, well said."

• (Zooey Deschanel) "You are a beautiful white man, Nick Miller."

• (Nick Miller) "Whoa, whoa, Jess. What are you doing? That's my ketchup collection."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "This fertility website says I need to get rid of anything with toxins."
• (Nick Miller) "Did you put the microwave in the trash?"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Yes."
• (Nick Miller) "Why would you do that?"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Microwaves zap things."
• (Nick Miller) "It's what makes burritos delicious."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"
• (Nick Miller) "You're puttin' me in a tough spot."

• (Zooey Deschanel) "Nick kissed me."
• (Hannah Simone) "What."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "I've got to tell Sam. I can't tell Sam. I didn't even do anything wrong. Nick kissed me; I didn't even kiss him back. Okay, fine. I kissed him back. Is that what you want me to say?"
• (Hannah Simone) "I literally haven't said a word for, like, over an hour."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "And now he won't even talk to me. 'Cause I saw him this morning and he just panicked moon-walked away from me."
• (Hannah Simone) "He what?"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "He does that sometimes. And then -- Ha. Nick just -- He just -- He just --"
• (Hannah Simone) "Kisses you."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Stupid Nick Miller."
• (Hannah Simone) "How was it? Was it?"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "I was like Scarlett O'Hara in my freaking curtain dress."
• (Hannah Simone) "Yeah, but how did he do it?"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "He just, like, grabbed me. And he just took me. I mean, he was a man and I was a woman. It was firm, but tender."
• (Hannah Simone) "Damn."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Yeah I saw through space and time for a minute but that's not the point."

• (Nick Miller) "Jess, are you okay?"
• (Zooey Deschanel) "No. This is the worst thing to ever happen to me. I've lived a very fortunate life."

• (Nick Miller) "Jess, you liked kissing me. It's fine to say that."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "No, I didn't."
• (Nick Miller) "I'm not on my knee asking you to marry me; it was a nice kiss."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "You were like a dog and my mouth was like a bowl full of dog -- milk."
• (Nick Miller) "It was like a damn fairytale, that kiss. It was the kiss of your life."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Are you serious, Nick?"
• (Nick Miller) "And you have to take a little responsibility, tarting around in that little soft pink robe, not expecting to get kissed."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Tarting around?"
• (Nick Miller) "I'm a man, Jessica. Pink robes are my catnip."
• (Anu) "And we have a winning couple."
• (Nick Miller) "We are not a couple."

• (Nick Miller) "You're a freaking gold digger, Jess."
• (Zooey Deschanel) "Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I'd be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world."

Max Greenfield as Schmidt

• (Max Greenfield) "Every couple has a weakness. Kate and Will, I could break them up with one email. Oh look at that, look at the royal baby now, living with slutty Aunt Pippa."

• (Nick Miller) "Guys, let's just say that hypothetically, a girl says something to you while she's on painkillers. And that girl says that she might want to have sexual intercourse with you --"
• (Winston Bishop) "Please tell me we're not talking about Jess."
• (Nick Miller) "And you had no idea that's how she felt. Like, no idea. You thought the door was closed. In fact, you thought that door was so closed that you went out to another door but had I known that the first door was open, that's the door I wanted to walk through. I would've walked through that door. Do you see how I'm in a tough spot?"
• (Max Greenfield) "Can we stop calling it 'walking through a door' because for me I feel it's more like sliding past a drape."

• (Max Greenfield) "I found this parking spot."
• (Max Greenfield) "Give me the spot or I'll kill you all."

• (Nick Miller) "Schmidt, if you come back, I'll let you clean my room."
• (Max Greenfield) "The white whale."
• (Nick Miller) "Think of how many dust bunnies are under my bed; how many stray socks."

• (Max Greenfield) "Take these, and take care of them. I can get a tetanus shot, but I can't cure damaged suede."

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