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Nathan Barley Quotes

Nathan Barley is a Sitcom that was first aired in 2005 on Channel 4. Nathan Barley ended its run in 2005.

Nathan Barley was on for 1 seasons and 6 episodes. Nathan Barley is created by Chris Morris (satirist).

Each episode of Nathan Barley is 26 minutes long.

The cast includes: Nicholas Burns as Nathan Barley, Richard Ayoade as Ned Smanks, Charlie Condou as Jonatton Yeah?, Spencer Brown as Rufus Onslatt, Julian Barratt as Dan, Claire Keelan as Claire Ashcroft, and Rhys Thomas as Toby.

Nathan Barley Quotes

Nicholas Burns as Nathan Barley

  • (Nicholas Burns) "Alright, my man."
  • (Unnamed) "Sit."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "Yeah, stout."
  • (Unnamed) "What style?"
  • (Nicholas Burns) "Geek Pie."
  • (Unnamed) "Draw."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "It's kind of long here, yeah, but short here like its been done at random, but if you look closely, eh, you can see that it hasn't, 'cept you can't tell that -- and it's got a few of these in it, yeah paint -- lids."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "You should come, dollsnatch. It's gonna be total f***ing Mexico."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "Trashbat is a night down the pub with your mates and it's f***in' mental. A move from the pub to the club for some awesome sounds. Choppin' the chalk out, on the cistern, snout it up and"
  • (Nicholas Burns) "f***in? the system."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "I'm a self-facilitating media node."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "This is the Promo party for the launch of Sugar Ape's "Vice Issue". "The Bat" was down here for boobs, tubes and pubes. This is Nathan Barley for "Trashbat"."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "Ned Smanks, Rufus Onslatt: Sugar Ape Crew. So what's the f***in' contact?"
  • (Spencer Brown) "Well right yeah. Well the idea, yeah, was to make it look like these models are being molested in a magazine office."
  • (Richard Ayoade) "When actually that's not what was really happening."
  • (Spencer Brown) "Yeah, only coz' they were all in on it, yeah, it isn't."
  • (Richard Ayoade) "'Cept coz' we were actually f***ing them, it kind of is."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "Yeah, yeah, I touched two of 'em."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "Peace an' f***in'."
  • (Nicholas Burns) "A taxi home with a bird who's been hitting on you like some kind of industrial hammer, stroking her tits, tending the garden, giving the taxi driver a hard-on. Now back home, fingers roam, phat reggae on the decks, and you feelin' the foam. Trashbat says "Nice and gently, easy as you park the Bentley." Bring it down. Trashbat is two people leaping from the twin towers and f***ing on the way down."

Claire Keelan as Claire Ashcroft

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Julian Barratt as Dan

  • (Julian Barratt) "I am not a preacher man."
  • (Julian Barratt) "Twenty thousand pounds?"
  • (Bank manager) "Twenty thousand pounds?"
  • (Julian Barratt) "Yes."
  • (Bank manager) "I don't think we can do that."
  • (Julian Barratt) "Well ignore this. This isn't -- you know. Eh -- tried to sort this out this morning, but the barber couldn't finish because I killed his cat."
  • (Julian Barratt) "Emm --"
  • (Bank manager) "You killed the barber's cat?"
  • (Julian Barratt) "By accident, yep. So, emm -- so just, that's not me."

Spencer Brown as Rufus Onslatt

  • (Spencer Brown) "Dan Ashcroft. "The Rise of the Idiots". Awesome f***in' opinions, dude."
  • (Richard Ayoade) "Yeah, well plastic."
  • (Spencer Brown) "Laterz, dude."
  • (Richard Ayoade) "Keep it foolish."

Charlie Condou as Jonatton Yeah?

  • (Charlie Condou) "That's hilarious and co."
  • (Spencer Brown) "We should give Nathan Barley a column."
  • (Richard Ayoade) "Yeah, we should give Nathan Barley a column."
  • (Spencer Brown) "Yeah like call it -- "Nathan Barley's Column"?"
  • (Richard Ayoade) "Hey, let's just call it "Barley", man."
  • (Spencer Brown) "Yeah, man, or like "Nathan"."
  • (Richard Ayoade) "Yeah, ?cause like, that could be like two columns."
  • (Julian Barratt) "Two columns."
  • (Spencer Brown) "Yeah, and like maybe one would be better than the other one."
  • (Richard Ayoade) "Yeah, yeah, and you? and you'd only read the good one."
  • (Julian Barratt) "How would you tell which one was the good one?"
  • (Richard Ayoade) "Check 'em out. Direct comparison."
  • (Spencer Brown) "Like, you'd read them both to find out which is the best one."
  • (Richard Ayoade) "Yeah, and then you'd just read the good one."
  • (Julian Barratt) "Are we gonna' do this?"
  • (Charlie Condou) "Yeah? OK."
  • (Richard Ayoade) "Take the day off."
  • (Spencer Brown) "Can we go home early?"
  • (Richard Ayoade) "I'm gonna' do laps, basically, after that."

Richard Ayoade as Ned Smanks

  • (Richard Ayoade) "Keep it foolish."

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