My Wife and Kids Quotes

My Wife & Kids is a Sitcom that first aired in 2001 on American Broadcasting Company. My Wife and Kids ended its run in 2005.

My Wife & Kids lasted 5 seasons and 123 episodes. It features Derrick "Big Tank" Thornton as composer. My Wife & Kids is executive produced by Don Reo. My Wife & Kids is created by Don Reo.

My Wife & Kids is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of My Wife & Kids is 30 minutes long. My Wife & Kids is produced by Damon Wayans and distributed by Disney-ABC Domestic Television.

The cast includes: Michael Richard Kyle, Sr. as Michael Kyle, and Michael Richard Kyle, Sr. as Michael.

My Wife & Kids Quotes

Michael Richard Kyle, Sr. as Michael Kyle

• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Well, that's just an invitation for little boys to stare at your nippies."

• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "This isn't funny Jay, what am i supposed to tell them at work?"
• (Unnamed) "Tell 'em the truth, tell them your son knocked you out."
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "I'd rather say you did it"
• (Unnamed) "Oh, that's even better, see i had to lay down the law, he didn't respect his woman, when i say i want my diamonds, i want my diamonds now."

• (Unnamed) "Last thing I heard her say was 'Junior, turn off those power rangers and go to bed.'"
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "When did she say that?"
• (Unnamed) "About five years ago."

• (Unnamed) "You did what?"
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Actually, I didn't do anything. He said he wanted to leave, so I said goodbye."
• (Unnamed) "No, no, no, I know you better than that, Michael. You didn't just say fine, did you?"
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Well, actually I said "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista baby, kick rocks, and get the hell out," like that."
• (Unnamed) "Do you mean to tell me that you told MY SON "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista, and get the hell out"; to MY BABY."
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "No, actually I said "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista baby, KICK ROCKS, (pauses) and get the hell out. You forgot the "kick rocks." That's really important."
• (Unnamed) "Michael, How did he react when you said "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, KICK ROCKS, and get the hell out?""
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Actually, you left out the "hasta la vista" --"
• (Unnamed) "Oh, Michael. Don't say it, again."
• (Unnamed) "I'm on edge, I swear."

• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "You getting high?"
• (Unnamed) "No."
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Why not?"

• (Unnamed) "It was me alright. I ate your stupid pie."
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Oh really."
• (Unnamed) "No, It was I who ate your stupid pie."
• (Unnamed) "I cannot lie. I ate your pie."
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Well, I can't deny, that I might cry. You wanna know why. 'Cause I still don't know who ate my pie."

• (Unnamed) "Ooh, That looks like the car from Chitty Chity Bang Bang."
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Yeah, If you're Spelling Chitty with an "S"."

• (Unnamed) "So you want me to marry a guy, who beats me?"
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Only if you love him, son."

• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "But all the music you listen to is full of cussing. Why don't you listen to Marvin Gaye? He never swore -- well, until his father shot him."

• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Junior, sex is a lot different than you probably imagine it."
• (Unnamed) "Oh yeah, how?"
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Well, for one, there's another person in the room."

• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "What is the smell in here?"
• (Unnamed) "Kady pooed it."
• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "It smells more like she decomposed."

• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Then there was one, the dumb one."

• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "Well, maybe you should get a master's degree in sex, that way I'll be behind you all the way."

• (Michael Richard Kyle, Sr.) "They don't even sing anymore, they just say; "You know the words. Sing along.""

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