My Friend Irma (film) Quotes

My Friend Irma (film) is a television program that debuted in 1970 . My Friend Irma completed its run in 1970.

It features Hal B. Wallis as producer, Roy Webb in charge of musical score, and Leo Tover as head of cinematography.

Each episode of My Friend Irma (film) is 102 minutes long. My Friend Irma (film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Marie Wilson as Irma Peterson, John Lund as Al, Jerry Lewis as Seymour, Hans Conried as Professor Kropotkin, Diana Lynn as Jane Stacy, Dean Martin as Steve Laird, and Percy Helton as Mr. Clyde.

My Friend Irma (film) Quotes

Jerry Lewis as Seymour

• (Jerry Lewis) "And that's how Steve and I became pals. But he's too easygoing. He's not like me. Somebody does something I consider an offense, I don't take it. I fight back. I revolt."
• (Marie Wilson) "Oh, Seymour that's a sign of character and I admire you for it. I like men who are offensive and revolting."

• (Jerry Lewis) "The least you could do is show me some sympathy, Steve. When you was sick, I was very considerate. Remember when the doctor gave you only 30 days to live?"
• (Dean Martin) "Yes."
• (Jerry Lewis) "Didn't I go out and get you a calender?"

Hans Conried as Professor Kropotkin

• (Hans Conried) "My little pigeon."
• (Jerry Lewis) "Who's a pigeon?"
• (Hans Conried) "It's only me, Professor Kropotkin."
• (Diana Lynn) "Well, hello, Professor."
• (Marie Wilson) "Hi, Professor."
• (Hans Conried) "Oh, Jane and Irma, my two little proud beauties. One with her head in the air and the other with air in her head."

Dean Martin as Steve Laird

• (Dean Martin) "It says, "You are placing your confidence in someone who'll enrich you." Must mean Al."
• (Diana Lynn) "Yes, Al's a pretty good confidence man."

Diana Lynn as Jane Stacy

• (Diana Lynn) "I'll answer it, Mrs. O'Reilly. My feet are wet and I want to be sure I'll be electrocuted."

• (Diana Lynn) "Oh, sweetie don't cry. You can't help it. It's just that nature gave some girls talent and brains, and with you it slipped you a mickey."

• (Diana Lynn) "Anything can happen when you live with my friend Irma."

Marie Wilson as Irma Peterson

• (Marie Wilson) "Al, you're all out of breath. You shouldn't let yourself get that way because breath is good for you."

• (Marie Wilson) "How often does a girl meet a millionaire with money?"

• (Marie Wilson) "Oh, well, you know Jane. She wants to marry a man with money, but I don't think money's important. Look, I have you, and you have me, and we both have nothing."

• (Marie Wilson) "Oh Jane, darling. I called you because I wanted to tell you to be sure not to take a shower."
• (Diana Lynn) "And why shouldn't I take a shower and be clean like all other normal people?"
• (Marie Wilson) "Well, you see, I painted the clothes closet, and I hung all the clothes in the shower."
• (Diana Lynn) "Irma, when you come home tonight would you bring a piece of good, strong rope with you? Because there's something else I want to hang in the shower with the clothes."
• (Marie Wilson) "Really, Jane? What?"
• (Diana Lynn) "You. Irma Peterson, how could you be so stupid?"

• (Marie Wilson) "Oh, Al I always knew you'd succeed. I just can't wait to hear all the wonderful things people say about you after you're dead."

John Lund as Al

• (John Lund) "Your time will come, son. Have to hold you back a little. Don't want to push you too much. Save you for a rainy day."
• (Jerry Lewis) "Rainy day? I got some news for you, Al. I get hungry in clear weather."

• (John Lund) "How do you like that? They're calling Chicken from the contest and she has to pick a moment like this to knock herself off. That dame never had no consideration."

• (John Lund) "Now, there's the mirror. Take a look at yourself. Now, if you notice, you have deep expression in your eyes and a very sensitive chin; all the qualities of a legitimate actor; maybe even a great lover."
• (Jerry Lewis) "Yeah, but isn't my voice too high?"
• (John Lund) "Not necessarily. You can make love to tall girls."

• (John Lund) "Okay, Chicken. Get on the phone."
• (Marie Wilson) "But I don't know what to say."
• (John Lund) "Just say you're calling for Miss Jane Stacy. She's been delayed, she's only half-dressed, and it would take a load off her mind if you would pick her up at her house instead of at the bar. Got it?"
• (Marie Wilson) "Got it, word-for-word."
• (Marie Wilson) "Hello?"
• (John Lund) "Just to play it safe, let me have it back."
• (Marie Wilson) "Uh -- "She would like you to pick her up here because she's half-dressed, half-loaded, and would make a very easy pick-up.""

Percy Helton as Mr. Clyde

• (Percy Helton) "Oh, I should have fired you months ago. But I can't. It would take me years to find out where you keep things."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.